Let's Destroy the Ninja World!
Chapter 3
*Not in My World*
"So, to sum it all up, you have no idea where you are or how you got here? You also are completely ignorant to the concepts of chakra and jutsu?" the blonde Hokage said, sighing and rubbing her temple. Right as she thought she found out what was causing the fluctuations of demonic chakra, it turns out the only people she can relate to it are complete idiots.
The blue-haired girl, whose name Tsunade had learned was Aoi Kunieda, smiled slightly and shrugged, but she wasn't fooling anyone. Aoi was a nervous wreck; she was shaking and sweating profusely, probably after witnessing Tsunade's show of strength when she had launched Naruto through the wall. Speaking of the blonde brat…
The Hokage glared over at where Naruto sat in the crater he had formed a good five minutes ago, staring blankly at the ground. "Oi, Naruto, stop talking to you bijuu and get over here!"
The Uzumaki blinked a few times before his eyes focused on her. When he finally realigned himself with the real world, he gave a lopsided smile and jumped up, brushing dust and splinters off of his orange jacket as he walked towards her. "Sorry, Granny! I just zoned out for a second."
"You've been 'zoning out for a second' every other second since the war ended. Seriously, balance your conversations with your chakra and real life a bit better."
The teen visibly pouted, and whined, "Granny Tsunade, Son resents that." He paused momentarily. "Actually, they all resent being called 'chakra.' They feel underappreciated, so you should apologize."
The Fifth growled, emitting enough hatred to make Aoi cower slightly. The girl obviously had no idea what they were talking about, but it was good that she knew enough to know that Tsunade was someone to be afraid of. "Fine, fine, whatever! I just need you to check this girl's motives, okay?"
The blonde teen snickered in victory before turning to Aoi and locking eyes with her. She fidgeted uncomfortably, but Naruto was done as quickly as he started.
"Yeah, I see no problems. She's a generally good person with no direct ill-will; to us, anyways. She seems more scared than anything. In fact, she only has a trace of demonic chakra on her. Is that all?"
Tsunade waved for Naruto to stay as he tried to leave, telling him, "No, wait. Sakura should be here soon. Remember the orders I gave out if anyone was found near the 'Rift?'"
The whisker-marked teen rubbed his chin in thought. When he went a full minute without saying anything, Tsunade cleared her throat, seemingly startling the boy. He rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment before continuing. "Sorry, sorry. Yeah, you told her to bring anyone who didn't seem to be a threat to you after checking them over. They only got back, like, five minutes ago; is that enough time for you to be expecting her soon?"
"Umm… excuse me?" Aoi interjected uncomfortably, obviously intimidated by the people in the room. She looked at Naruto to let him know she was addressing him. "How did you know I was a good person?"
The blonde gave her a large smile before answering her. "Well, I'm a good judge of character, and I have nine other good character-judges inside of me. If that fails, I can actually see malicious intent, so… yeah!"
"Huh?" Aoi asked, completely lost. "Is that… possible?"
Naruto burst out laughing. "Of course! I'm currently the singular jinchuriki for all nine bijuu!"
"What are bijuu?"
At that Naruto completely lost it and laughed his head off for a complete thirty seconds, which made Aoi feel more and more ignorant every second it went on. "H-how do you n-not know what the bijuu are?! HAHAHA! Where have you been living all your life, under a rock?" he asked through fits of laughter, unknowingly mimicking the Hokage's previous words.
Tsunade coughed purposefully, cutting Naruto off. "Apparently, she's not from around here. You see, she-"
"Thank you, Lee," A girl's voice came from the doorway. "GET MOVING, YOU TWO!"
The new arrival's first notable trait was her pink hair; something Aoi had never seen before. Other than that, her physical assests were even less notable than Kunieda's, providing the sword master with a slight amount of pride she knew she shouldn't be feeling in her situation. Hell, if she compared herself to Tsunade, her measly pride would be crushed for eternity. The pinkette hid her form under red top with a singular white stripe spiraling over it. She wore a short white skirt over her blue skin-tight pants and a belt holding one of the pouches that Aoi had seen on every one of her opponents so far. Behind her walked two very familiar faces. Well, Furuichi walked; Oga, who seemed to have just woken up, was being dragged by his collar. As soon as Baby Beel entered to room, riding gleefully on Oga's back, Naruto fixed him with a glare, but didn't say anything.
The pink-haired girl slipped a suspicious glance at Aoi before bowing to the Hokage. "I've brought the ones who aren't actively looking for a fight with anyone they see," she said, with a tinge of annoyance that meant she had probably met Toujou. Oga probably just hadn't woken up enough to prove her wrong; he had been unconscious just five seconds ago, after all.
"Why did I get pulled into this?" Furuichi muttered to himself, fixating his gaze on his feet to avoid pissing anyone off by looking at them. According to the black eye he got from the girl who woke him up, he could really piss someone off by looking at them.
The Hokage acknowledged the girl and nodded at her. "Thank you, Sakura. What do we know about them?"
Sakura rose from her bow. "I'll start with the one carrying the baby, okay?" Tsunade nodded again, becoming slightly impatient. "He has a seal on his right arm that can be used to create an electrical blast. It was rather lackluster; it only took a weak healing jutsu to patch Lee up, and he took a direct shot. However, I did see a decent concentration of demonic chakra on him where it hit. As a side note, he refused to fight without the baby currently on his back."
As if to back up his importance, Beel pumped one of his fists into the air and yelled, "Dahboo!"
Sakura ignored the interruption. "I rank him as a low jounin, but Lee said that he seemed completely shocked at his speed, signifying he had never seen someone move that fast. If he was able to react to Lee's fighting style, I'd probably rank him higher. Right now, I'm going by raw strength, not skill."
Tsunade hummed to confirm that she listened before Sakura continued. The shinobi's face instantly took on a darker expression, and her disdain for the white-haired delinquent was almost palpable. "I suggest we sign Hanabi up for some psychological help; this pedophile might have scarred her for life just by talking to her. Other than that, he seems to be able to change his own chakra and drastically increase his skill level. We aren't sure the limit yet, but it's probably regular jounin at best."
Furuichi breathed a prayer of relief that Oga was still tied up. However, if looks could kill, both Sakura and Furuichi would be dead thrice-over. The demon contractor probably didn't know what jounin level was, but he did hear the 'low' part before his jounin, and was not going to take being ranked lower than Furuichi lightly.
"You bitch! I could beat up Creepichi any day, don't you dare put me lower than him! I swear, if Hilda didn't have my milk right now…" Oga growled threateningly.
Unfortunately for him, Sakura wasn't tied up. As soon as he finished speaking, Oga was neck deep in the ground, adding another hole to the array that was scattering Tsunade's office. If the Hokage wasn't used to repairing it already, she might have been pissed.
Sakura cracked her knuckles and exhaled with a show of irritation, but managed to continue like nothing had happened. "There were three others. One could take several hits from Gai and stay standing; no, he was barely knocked back by the punches, showing immense physical ability. The other two… they aren't weak, per say, but they weren't seen fighting very much, so I can't give an accurate estimation of their power levels," the girl sighed, rolling her eyes. "They sure seemed cocky enough," she muttered sarcastically. "It's like fighting is their life. The bastards were asking Gai, Tenten or me for a fight the entire time I was there. This one," Sakura pointed at Furuichi, "was the only one who seemed to know what kind of situation he was in. That is, until he decided to stare at me and drool."
Furuichi backed away slowly from Sakura, shrinking visibly under her green-eyed glare. Naruto attempted to stifle a laugh, but the little noise he made was enough to change the target of Sakura's anger.
"What's so funny, Naruto?" she asked menacingly, towering over the blonde.
Naruto, however, didn't back away in the slightest. "Sorry, Sakura. Chomei just asked why someone would drool over such a flat-chested girl."
As soon as the words exited his mouth, Naruto's bravado was shattered. His blue eyes met Sakura's green, and in that green he saw the full scope of his mistake.
That, and she was holding him three feet in the air with a one-handed chokehold.
"W-Wait! I didn't say it! C-Chomei did!"
"Okay…" Sakura muttered, pulling her empty hand back and balling it into a fist. "Will you tell the little bug to come out, please?"
"B-but… Sakura, it'll still hurt me!"
"You can heal yourself."
Before Naruto could respond, his head snapped to the left. When it turned back to face Sakura, his eyes were red and they had slitted pupils in them. A darker, older voice spoke in place of the blonde's usual bubbly tone. "Sakura, please! Shut up and put me down! Our real problem is that baby! It's practically leaking 'I-came-here-to-destroy-your-world!'" The blonde fixed a soul-seeing gaze of hatred on Baby Beel, who rewarded him with a happy giggle. "Trust me, brat… that's not happening in my world!"
"IDIOT!" the girl screamed, "I don't care if you're the Kyuubi, Kurama! That cute little baby couldn't possibly be that evil!"
Oga, who had managed to sit up, shrugged. "Actually, that's exactly what he was sent here to do. This is Kai- umm…. Kailler…. Uhh…."
"Dah…" Kaiser de Emperana Beelzebub IV ("Baby Beel") cried indignantly. Tears had started to form, but the baby managed to push them back when Oga continued.
Aoi face palmed. Sometimes Oga didn't realize when he really screwed things up.
"Beel! That's his name, okay!" the delinquent huffed. "Anyways, he's the son of the demon king."
"…"
"…"
"… huh?" Sakura muttered, wide-eyed.
"I TOLD YOU SO!" 'Kurama' yelled. "But noooo… I'm just a Bijuu, my opinion doesn't mean anything. No, only the Juubi has any say in anything; oh, wait, I'm part of the Juubi! Of course that doesn't matter, though… You know… one time, not so long ago, you fools would have been cowering in terror…" The blonde's red eyes glimmered as… Wait, were those tears? "NO ONE RESPECTS ME ANYMORE!" Kurama shouted in a whiny tone, but Tsunade and Sakura's slight snickering stopped as he reached into his pouch and pulled out a kunai, flipping it so it was pointed at his stomach.
"I'M GOING TO DIE WITH SOME SHRED OF DIGNITY! Sorry, kit, I guess you're coming with me! It's seppuku time!"
The blonde's head snapped to the right this time, his eyes reverting to blue, panic-ridden eyes. Even though his eyes changed, Naruto's left hand was still trying to hold back the right, which held the kunai. "GRANNY, HELP ME!"
The shinobi's head jolted again; this time, the voice that spoke was the same one that had made the comment about Aoi's clothing choices. "WAIT, KURAMA! Kill them first! START WITH THEM!"
Another jerking motion; another, new, female voice. This one's eyes were completely yellow with feline slits inside of them. "Oi, Kurama, you aren't serious, are you? I swear some of the jounin here think they can solo me! At least they still know you can kill them!"
The next one controlling his body had one normal blue eye, and one fully red eye with a yellow, circular pupil. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I could really go with Shukaku's plan right now… I think we should- Oi, Son, what are you doing?!"
"Shut up, Isobu," the new, ape-like voice commanded. "Kurama, you can't commit seppuku. That's a right reserved for samurai only. What you're left with is dishonorable suicide."
Yet another Bijuu took over. Kokuo sighed with boredom; being surrounded by these idiots was starting to annoy her. "At least unseal me first, okay? Then you can spill your guts all you want."
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Saiken, the Rokubi, screamed in panic, flailing around in Naruto's body before control switched again.
"Ah, don't worry," a deep, raspy voice soothed, "Kurama's a little bitch. He's gonna chicken out."
"I knew I should have gone back to Bee…"
Sakura let out a huff of annoyance and put the struggling blonde back on the ground. Furuichi leaned closer to her and whispered, "Hey, is that normal?"
"It's become a common occurrence, if that's what you mean by normal," Tsunade answered from behind her desk.
Aoi cleared her throat. "Should we try to-"
"GRANNY! THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME!" Naruto's voice erupted from the writhing body on the floor. The kunai had been dropped and the blonde was currently choking himself to death.
The Hokage sighed, a vein bulging on her forehead. "Fine. Sakura, hold him down."
"Yes ma'am."
A few moments and a green-glowing slap from Tsunade, and Naruto lay on the ground unconscious.
"Now," Tsunade said, clapping her hands together and glaring with newfound wariness of the group of delinquents in front of her. "You're here to destroy our world, right?" The Fifth smiled sadistically. "We can't let that happen… Luckily for you, I'm above killing babies-"
"Oh, trust me; you couldn't kill him if you tried. You'd have to go through me, first!" Oga challenged, smirking smugly.
"O-Oga…" Aoi stuttered. The two women in front of her were on their home turf; Oga could not get them in trouble here. "Y-you… shouldn't p-pick fights when you're the hostage."
"Heh… if I was untied, I could take at least one of them! If I had my milk, this would be easy!"
"OGA! You idiot!" Furuichi yelled at him. Honestly! Did his friend have any idea what kind of situation they were in?
"Tch, they don't know who they're messing with!"
Aoi made a mental note: If Oga wanted to fight, there was nothing she could do or say about it. If she could somehow convince their captors to just… throw them wherever they were keeping Kanzaki, Himekawa and Toujou, then she could (maybe) be told what the hell was going on.
"Lady Tsunade… May I?" Sakura asked. Her evil smile was dwarfed by the pure glee the Hokage seemed to be experiencing; having someone not know about her strength and blindly challenging her (when she had absolutely no reason to keep them alive) was an amazing feeling of freedom!
"Hmm… I kind of want a piece of him for myself… Maybe you can take on the pedo? Leave the arrogant son of a bitch to me." Tsunade's terrifying grin froze when her eyes locked onto Aoi, before melting into a grimace of annoyance. "Oh. Yeah. You're here," she muttered, turning to nod at Sakura. "We can have a full fight later. For now, let's see if you can break my record, eh?"
Hilda allowed herself a smile as she opened the door to the barracks that Toujou and a horde of demon slaves had built. She had to briefly take down the camouflaging barrier, but there was no one nearby, so it didn't matter.
'Finally, reunited with my Young Master!'
"Young Master! I've returned!" Hilda shouted gleefully. She didn't shout from excitement, of course; the barracks were rather large. When she got no response, the demon maid got nervous.
Hilda sprinted through the building, blowing open every door, closet or drawer she could find, and still coming up empty. There wasn't even a signthat anyone had been there.
"What the HELL did those idiots manage to do?!"
"Hey, guard. I want a rematch!" Toujou challenged with a good-natured smile. Sure, he was a bit disappointed in himself for losing, but the only way he could get stronger was to try again!
Gai smiled brightly at him and gave the redhead a thumbs-up from his side outside their cell, but shook his head in denial. "I apologize, my captive! I cannot oblige, for I've been told to watch over you until Lady Tsunade can either come here herself or send Anko and Ino. You are not allowed to leave your cell!"
Toujou's one-handed grip on one of the bars tightened and his brow furrowed in thought. "Nope, can't break it…" he muttered sadly, but his eyes flashed briefly in surprise. Bars that size should at least bend. These ones didn't even budge!
Kanzaki smirked. Leaning back more comfortably against the wall, he one hand behind his head and used the other one to check the inside of his jacket for his hidden knife. Luckily, they hadn't searched the delinquents before throwing them in their jail cell. "Oi, how bout you come in here? Have a… fair fistfight?"
Himekawa glanced at him before laughing darkly. "Yeah, right, idiot. Oh, wait, that's right! You weren't there when he fucking wiped the floor with us! That guy is not human. Understand? I'd pay to keep him out!"
Gai chuckled. "Do not worry, I must hold back my youthfulness! I was told not to kill you, so I cannot fight you!"
Toujou sighed and turned so he could lean back on the bars. Kanzaki and Himekawa, however, were sitting with their mouths agape. Himekawa was the first to break the shared glare, rubbing his pompadour and leaning over to whisper to Kanzaki.
"Hey… Did that bastard just say he could kill us 1-on-3?"
Kanzaki's eyes never moved from the shinobi with the bowl-cut. "I think he did…"
Toujou grinned at the sitting duo. "Oi, Gai's your name, right?"
"Yes!"
"Will you give us a rematch after we get whatever the hell's going on cleared up?"
Gai threw his head back and laughed. "Of course! Let's see whose flames of youth burn brighter, then!"
"I don't know much about your 'flames of youth,' but sure! Exactly!"
"Three…"
"Oga… we are going to die…"
"Two…"
"Hey, Baby Beel! I'll be gone for a little while, but I'll be back! Just hold on, okay?"
"One!"
At the female shinobis' shared cue, both Oga and Furuichi were drop kicked. As soon as Sakura and Tsunade's feet hit Furuichi and Oga's asses respectively, there was a sonic boom, and both went flying from the launch pad that was the Hokage's balcony. Aoi was left to stop and stare as the two figures flew into the distance, and gulped as two gazes fixed on her. Three, if she counted the green-haired baby she was holding.
Tsunade sighed. "Sakura, should I wake up Naruto to go retrieve them?"
The pink-haired girl made a disgusted face, but nodded in resignation. "If we can get him to lock the seal fast enough, it could work without any more seppuku attempts. Damn kid lets his bijuu have full reign in his mind… Apparently they start whining if they don't get their way. He's too nice…"
"We've established that a while ago." The blonde Hokage kneeled down and placed a green-glowing hand on the teens head. After a second, his eyelids shot open, thankfully human-blue.
"I DON'T LIKE BIJUU THAT WAY!"
"…"
Aoi, who didn't exactly know what bijuu were, was the only one not looking at Naruto like he was sick in the head. Well, she was, but not for what he just yelled out.
Naruto took a few quick, heavy breaths before he seemed to realize where he was. "Oh shit… I said that out loud…"
Tsunade grimaced and shook her head. "I'll pretend it never happened if you never show sexual interest in any of the voices in your head. Anyways, we sent the other two fools flying, can you go get them?"
Naruto pouted. "Damn it, Granny! It'll be ages before I get back!"
"You could always go Bijuu Sage mode and be back in like ten seconds," Sakura suggested, but her face betrayed the fact she knew it wouldn't happen.
The blonde shinobi solemnly shook his head. "No can-do. Using that in the war left the Bijuu in a comatose state for a month. And no, the aftermath won't change if I only use it for a little bit. I've tried; the strain of activating it and then suddenly restricting their outward chakra flow causes a shock their mental forms can't handle."
The Hokage just slapped him and growled. "Just go get them, okay? You can go Kyuubi mode, right? It's not exactly the ten-second speed, but… it's faster." Naruto's head snapped to the left, but before Son Goku could complain about her favoring Kurama, she slapped him again. "Also, lock your seal. Now."
Naruto shrunk in defeat. "Fine, fine…" he conceded, placing a hand on his abdomen and turning it like he was twisting a valve shut. He winced slightly, then whispered to himself. "Shut up, guys… I know, I know… I'm not killing anyone, Shukaku!"
"Keep your conversations in your mind, idiot," Sakura berated him, patting him on his back to bring the teen back to the physical world.
"Yeah, yeah." Naruto stood up and stretched. He nodded at Aoi, mouthing 'good luck' to her, before poking his stomach area with two fingers. "For future reference, Granny: Nibi form is the fastes. When on ground, anyways."
Where he touched ignited two blue flames, which quickly spread outwards, consuming his entire body with blue-black flames. They blazed wildly, causing Kunieda to step back in fear, but Sakura and Tsunade just stood like it was nothing unusual. The flames reached their peak, about a meter from Naruto, and then receded to coat his body, melding into clothing. The blonde's jacket was now unzipped and composed of the flames, moving and flowing but holding a solid form at the same time. It had, however, added a pure blue hood that covered hid Naruto's face, all but shining yellow eyes. The metal mesh under his coat and his pants were both pure black. His hands had ghostly, light-blue lion-like claws outlining them, and his feet were covered similarly.
"Alright, I'm off!" Naruto yelled, letting a toothy grin show from under the concealing hood. In a flash of blue and a storm of papers, the shinobi disappeared.
Tsunade growled. "Damn kid! I need to do that paperwork!" Her glare switched to Aoi, burning into the blue-haired girl. "Okay, let's try this diplomacy thing again, shall we? You'd better pray to Kami that you don't piss me off any more than I already am. Understand your situation?"
Aoi gulped. "Yes, ma'am…"
Oga was not having a good day. He had flown for a good ten minutes before he even began descending, and that was already enough time to contemplate life. He could tune back in and listen to Furuichi complain, but… nah.
The delinquent sighed. He had probably been flying for a good twenty minutes this entire day. People in this dimension had a weird fetish for keeping people in the air for as long as possible…
Looking down, Oga noticed the trees were rapidly becoming closer. 'Well, I've already found the answer to life, so… gah! Whatever! I'll get that bitch back!' In the back of his mind, Oga remembered that Furuichi probably couldn't survive hitting the ground. Was that what he was bitching about?
As soon as he was level with a tree, the delinquent twisted his body and pushed off of the fir tree's trunk, launching himself into Furuichi's fall path and catching the white-haired Strategist. A few seconds and a lot of miscellaneous cuts later, Oga hit the ground with an alive Furuichi on top of him.
"OHMYGODTHANKYOUOGA!" Furuichi screamed in panic, gasping for air, holding Oga onto for dear life, and practically crying in fear. Oga tentatively pushed his face away enough to be classified as enough room before kicking his fellow teen in the groin to get him to let go. As Furuichi silently cried in a ball, Oga got up and dusted himself off. Looking around, he saw forest. That's it. Just trees, as far as the eye could see. Wait a minute… there was a flash of-
"WHERE IS THE YOUNG MASTER?!"
And there was a sword pressed against his neck. Oga groaned in exasperation, locking eyes with a very, very pissed Hilda. He pointed towards where he came from. "That way, about fifteen minutes away by flight."
The blonde maid growled but pulled her sword away from him, sheathing it into her umbrella. "Time isn't distance, idiot. That doesn't help me. Grab Furuichi, we're going."
"Yeah, yeah. Did you bring the milk?" Oga grumbled, pulling Furuichi into a standing position by the collar. Hilda reached into the black bag she had picked up from the unoccupied house and threw a full baby bottle at him harshly.
"As a matter of fact, I did. Why would you need it?" she asked, but her smug look showed she had already figured out why. "Did someone beat up Oga, the Delinquent King?" Her smugness only increased when she saw his jaw tense. "Oh no, but that would be impossible!" Suddenly, Hilda's sarcastic mood switched back to serious. "What the HELL happened to the Young Master!?"
"Oh, I left him with Kunieda. Then the lady with the big boobs kicked me, and I landed over here! I don't know what happened, but I do know I have someone I need a fight against."
"Idiot…" Hilda tensed, her hand flying towards her sword. Before she could even get a grip on it, what looked like a blue fireball skidded to a stop in front of them. There was a brief pause, before a rush of blue and black flames flew in after him; the storm consumed everything the group could see. There was no heat, however, and it dispersed quickly enough to show a teen in orange.
"Hey, can you two show me exactly where you landed? I need to mark that before I take you back… Wait…" Naruto squinted and pointed to each of the three individually. "There are three of you now!"
Oga cracked his knuckles. "I guess I can start with you…"
Furuichi mentally weighed fight vs flight, and in the end chose to reach into his pocket and pull out a tissue. Hey, they had to be able to win a 3-v-1, especially if Hilda was with them, right?
Hilda drew her sword and pointed it at the new arrival. "I'm assuming you're one of the ones who took the young master? I can't let you live!"
Naruto moaned. "Oh… I take it you can't sense my chakra?" Grinning, Naruto brought his hands together into a seal. "I haven't been able to find someone to fight for a while, and Granny's probably gonna want to meet you, too, umm…"
"Hilda," she introduced herself from centimeters away, her blade already in motion to stab him through the heart.
"Hilda, huh? That's an odd name…" Naruto commented, still smiling. The demon-maid's sword had been caught between two new hands, belonging to an exact copy of Naruto. "Kokuo, you can take her."
The clone's eyes shrunk and became a brighter blue, with its black pupils barely visible. In a low female voice, Kokuo said, "Thanks, Naruto. I've wanted a fight for a while…"
"No problem! Just remember, alive. I'll take the other two solo. The black-haired ones chakra dropped severely since when he was in Granny's office… Interesting…"
"Cocky bastard… Come get some!" Oga charged, fist pulled back and ready to strike. With a smile, Naruto began the fight. Sure, he was going to drastically pull his punches, but it would be fun to let off some steam.
Author's Notes: I started this chapter a while ago. Like, weeks ago. Then I got into writing Rainstorm a bit, then I went to a camp that helped me learn how to debate better, and then, last but not least… I was quite lazy. I apologize. But I DID get this done, so please, fav, follow and review! Thanks,
Nayod.