Disclaimer: dont own KH and all that...
A/N: so yeah. more crazyness. and ther will be more. muahahaha. (all in monotone). goofy and donald bashing. mild bashing of the queen of hearts.any comments towards the deep south are based on stereotype.
REVIEW GODAMMIT!!!!
Random Hearts
Chapter 3
One pimped-out afternoon, Sora, Donald and Goofy were walking through that forest with the different sized mushrooms in Wonderland.
"I'm hungry Sora, let's get something to eat." Said Donald in his Duckccent (accent with duck replacing a).
"I didn't understand a fucking word you just fucking said." Sora said, spotting an acorn on the ground. He was hungry so he decided to check it out.
"All right an acorn!" Sora exclaimed, and popped it into his mouth.
"Hey." Said Donald, annoyed.
"Shut up Donald, no one wants to hear your jibberish. If I threw you into a blender right now and you said that same sentence, there would be no difference in how they sounded." Sora said this as he started to grow to abnormal height.
"Woah. Am I on opium or something?" Sora asked himself stupidly.
"Hey Sora! Hyuck can you see my house from there? Hyuck hyuck hyuck," Goofy guffawed like a fat hic from the deep south.
"Of coarse not you idiot! Your house is on a different planet." Sora rolled his eyes and then stomped Donald to death.
As Goofy stared at the bloody, feathery remains of his fowl friend (haha fowl), Sora was slowly starting to shrink back to normal height.
"Why'd ya kill Donald Sora? Who will fly the Gummy Ship now?" Goofy said threw no tears because dog-like things don't cry and because he had always been secretly jelous of Donald's mad magic skillz.
"I WILL!" Sora had always wanted to kill Donald because he wanted to fly the Gummy Ship.
"Ok, well, let's go then, I guess." Goofy said, tucking Donald's wand into one of the ten thousand pockets in his pants.
Sora and Goofy walked through a hole in the hedges and found themselves in a strange court garden filled with talking cards.
"Alright! A casino!" Exclaimed Sora excitedly.
"Gawrsh, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." Said Goofy
"We were never in Kansas you idiot." Sora was about to slice Goofy's arm off with his Keyblade, but Goofy took out Donald's wand. He tried to attack Sora with lightning but he turned himself into a pen instead.
"Alright! A Disney pen!!" Sora picked up Goofy (now a writing instrument) and placed him in his hoodie pocket.
Suddenly, Sora noticed he was surrounded by many evil-looking cards bearing sharp weapons.
"Woah. So I guess I can't play some craps (casino game) with you guys." Sora started to back away but the cards grabbed him and brought him before a huge wooden throne with a fat bitch sitting in it. There was a cage beside the throne that had a blonde girl in it.
"What is this?! Slavery!" Sora gasped at the sight and then ate six grapes.
yes i know that i am deranged. what? cant someone just eat six grapes?!
reviews and suggestions are welcomed and encouraged.