Guess: "You should delete this story, and your account. It's fucking trash, dude, and nothing can change that. This garbage is so bad, it gives garbage a bad name."
I don't really care about criticism but I'm not ok with this person criticizing another story/writer
No such luck fic 4,345th written by darthsidiouso4.
review- guess: "This is trash, please delete this abomination and your account. Fucking, useless piece of shit." And "This is dog shit...scratch that, I don't want to give dog shit a bad name. Stop writing these horrendous stories, they're not good. Fucking disgusting to read."
Sounds quite similar, right? I don't want to make a big deal about this 'guess' and I don't care what this person has anything to say to me, but I'm not ok when he/she does it others. Whoever you are that is criticizing others, stop it! If you don't like any stories that you don't like, just move on, ok? That writer has every right to make his/her own stories. Please and thank you. Also, I recommend you to take carbamazepine and dextroamphetamine just to be safe. :)
I want to apologize to all of you for seeing me make a deal about this, I just don't to see a person criticizing others because what if that hurts other people mentally and emotionally. That's not acceptable for anyone to hurt others mentally. Also, he/she couldn't make or use his or her account so that's why it's a guess, so no balls.
Anyways, I know that my second chapter has some grammar errors and that's my fault for using Word document instead of Google Docs. I don't really use beta reader but instead, I use Grammarly. Grammarly is not the reason why my second chapter got errors, but Word Document on my new laptop tried to replace what Grammarly corrected. I didn't notice it until critik notified my mistakes in the review, so I what to thank you, critik, if you're reading this. You were a great help to let me notice and I'm very grateful with that, but I'm sorry if I couldn't make a promise about every action words in each character since it's a habit.
Now on to the story...
Saturday 5:38 AM, Interstate 69 highway leading to the northeast side of Indianapolis, Indiana. Castleton.
Lincoln and lily laid asleep on the right side back seat of the bus that currently contains 27 people all heading to the next station that is located in Castleton in about 37 minutes. But Lincoln wasn't planning to get off from there as he was heading to Jacksonville, Florida. He remembered in the bus station, he heard an announcement calling for the last call for bus b-3 heading to Florida.
Although he did not have any money to buy any tickets for both him and lily. Instead, he stood in front of the counter where a lady is waiting for a response from Lincoln. What she didn't notice was that Lincoln was levitating and tossing any random objects behind her so she would be distracted, giving the chance for Lincoln to corrupt the computer and print out two tickets and run off scot-free.
Even though the seat that Lincoln and lily are sharing is able to bend back at 30 degrees backward, Lily was able to sleep on top of Lincoln's chest and her head on his shoulders. Both were covered with a blanket since the bus wouldn't turn on the heaters because bus driver is a bitch over temperature, so the rest of the passengers had to sleep without any heat source. Lincoln is not sleeping very well as we see his face sweating rapidly and also moving his head left and right with a frustration look.
(Lincoln's dream)
3:24 PM July 9th, 2027. Blue Island IL Chicago, Memorial Park.
Lincoln and lily both sit in a large field of grass but also away from any sighting from people. Lincoln now 21 years old wearing an orange shirt with white sleeves, blue pants, and white sneakers. He appears to have grown a small white goatee on his chin.
Lily now 11 years old wearing a pink shirt, small short, long white socks, and black slip-on shoes. She also has a ponytail and both her eyes are... different as one is white and the other is black, and with purple pupils just like Lincoln's eyes.
Both sat on the ground facing each other and many pebbles laid between them. Lily extend her arms and she points to the pebbles as she tries to practice levitation. But she struggles to move a single one as she is a beginner and new to her powers. Lincoln tried to teach her how to use her new powers and feels that might be responsible enough to learn levitation as a next step learning.
Lily- (struggling and frustrated) "come on, move you stupid rocks!"
Lincoln- (chuckles) "it's not going to move if you keep telling it to, you have focus your mind and energy around the object if you want it to move."
Lily- (frustrated) "how do you do it? You told me it took a couple of minutes for you when you were my age, but why only days for me?"
Lincoln- (nervous) "well...I had some struggles at the time...but to be honest...my powers didn't come from concentration…but emotion.
Lily- (curious) "so my new powers will work if I feel any type of emotion? It didn't work, I was mad amount ago but the rocks wouldn't move!"
Lincoln- (pointed out) "no, that's not how it works. I remember that I felt some kind of strong emotion that activated my powers, you don't need emotions to control, but to activate your new abilities."
Lily-(exited) "really, that's it? So I could have all the abilities like yours by having some kind of strong emotion, awesome! I co-" (upset) "wait, if you knew about this, then why are we practicing for days!?"
Lincoln- (guilty smile) (raised both shoulders) "I kind of forgot about it...until now. (Serious) "But anyway, it's not that simple, you can't just try to feel any strong emotions intentionally. It has to be real and you have to mean it."
Lily- (down) "dang it, I wish it was simple."
Lincoln- (smiles) "hey, don't look down, I'm sure that that you will unlock your new powers"
Lily- (curious) "what about you...what did you felt that unlocked your powers?
Lincoln- (stayed silence)
Lily- (annoyed but mad) "you're doing it again, when I ask you something personal, like where did you get your power, what was mom and dad like, or where are they? Why are you keeping secrets from me!?"
Lincoln- (worried) "please let's...not talk about this"
Lily was not pleased to hear this from his own brother, he knew something that she doesn't. For ten years of her life of desperation of answers that he kept from her, she became enraged...and her new powers came to a near completion.
Lily- (mad) (stands on her feet) "no, I want to know everything, it's been like my whole life and you're still keeping secrets!"
Lincoln- (worried) "Lily, calm down, you don't understand-"
Lily- (anger) "understand what!? There's nothing to understand about the things you're hiding from me!"
Lily's powers begin to act, she then raised her arm in front of Lincoln then her purple pupils begin to glow. Lincoln suddenly felt weightless and assumed that lily unlocked her powers out of rage, but she did, as Lincoln was now hoisted up into the air and also paralyzed. Lily was able to disconnect Lincoln's nervous system temporarily on his neck.
Lincoln- (paralyzed but still upset) "LILY, this needs to stop ri-"
Lily- (mad) "NO, tell me everything!"
Lincoln then though if he didn't tell the truth...he won't be able to be on the ground. Lily has every right to know everything that Lincoln kept away, she is now capable of understanding right now.
Lincoln- (sigh) "alright...I'll tell you everything. You had- or have nine sisters...they were not good siblings."
Lily- (mad) "so what, what about mom and dad?!"
Lincoln- "mom and dad were...fools as well. Our sister, Lynn, was an idiot and what she did...was foolish."
Lily- (curious but still mad) "what do you mean?"
Lincoln- (upset but also sad) "well it's a long story, when I was your age all your sisters had activities that I was dragged into. Lynn's baseball game lost...and she blames me and label me as bad luck or jinxed...soon I thought of embracing this lie so I could get some free time for myself and it worked...but it's gotten too far. They locked me outside for days without any change of clothing or a ride to school. They all thought that they would be safe from "bad luck" and it would be best if I was outside freezing. I tried to tell the truth but...they denied me. Later a cold night I was chased by a homeless man, and I tried to beg to let me go inside the house...but I was rejected. So ran far from home and lost him in the park. After that event I later knew they left me to me to die...it felt like I was rejected for being in the family...I had no hope...no life...no reason to live. Until a kind man gave me the choice to call the cops...or become a god of luck.
Lily- (mad) "how do I know this is true, what does this have to do with me?!"
Lincoln- (honest) "I'm getting there, I choose to become a god and I thought if they were this...foolish, they shouldn't be raising you...so I took you away and kept you safe."
Lily- (speechless) "you took me away...why?" (Mad) "what is your reason that I didn't get to have a family-"
Lincoln- "BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID!"
Lily- (mad) "...you're lying!"
Lincoln- (sorrow) "please listen...at that time I had no one in the family that cared...but you do, you were the only one who cared. You were a baby at the time...and you didn't know what was going on, but you still cared" (tears forming) "I'm afraid that they would make you turn against me."
Lily felt sorry for Lincoln, he did it to protect her. So all this time of having no parents nor other siblings, she would be safer without them. If they change lily to reject her own brother, then she wouldn't have seen Lincoln alive if possible.
Lily then lowers Lincoln to the ground and gave his nervous system back, Lincoln then sat down on the ground and looked down.
Lincoln- (sorrow) "You were the only family who cared...and if they change you...I would have no one in my family who will remember me. NO, that's not also why I was afraid...the most."
Lily- (tears and sorrow) "w-what is it?"
Lincoln- (tears flowing) "I'm afraid...I'm afraid that they might abandon you...like me. I couldn't just stand around and let that happen anytime soon… What if someone took you away, harmed you, or...no. I couldn't let that happen to you. so I took you away from them. After I took you away...the homeless man snatched you out of my hands and demanded...favors. He said he would hurt you if I didn't listen."
Lily- (afraid) "so what do you do?"
Lincoln- (mad and growled) "I got mad and blinded with rage, so a rose bush pierced his body with its vines and thorns...I was the one who did that. I quickly grabbed you when he dropped you in mid-air, and I made sure that he...would never walk again."
Lily- (horrified but shocked) "you killed him...to protect me?"
Lincoln- (ashamed) "I wasn't pleased about my actions...but it's best that no one gets harmed by him."
A familiar echoed voice is heard from the distance and it sounded angry and upset.
"I told you, not to use your powers for vengeance! Anger, hatred, and rage can corrupt this energy and it will consume you. you could become a person without remorse to other people."
Lincoln gets up and looks around to see the person who he knew...but nothing. So he called out to come and see him in person. But the voice came from the air.
"If you keep this up, Lincoln...you will not be safe around your sister...take a look."
Lincoln then took note of this and turned around to see…
Lincoln- (shocked with fear) "oh god...no."
Lily seemed to be badly injured as her face, left arm, and legs had fresh cuts and were bleeding badly. her clothes seemed to be torn or ripped but what was more shocking was that her...right arm was torn off. She then limps her way up to Lincoln with a sorrowed look.
Lily- (tears and sorrow) (weak) "why...d-did I do something...wrong?"
Lily then falls on the ground bleeding rapidly from her wounds. Lincoln got on his knees and picks up dying lily, hold her tightly, and begged to stay alive.
Lincoln- (panicking but also crying) "NO, please stay with me, god no please why...no no no, LILY PLEASE STAY WITH ME!"
Lily then said her last word, a word that every parent and sibling would fear if a child would ever say in a state in which Lily is in.
Lily- (close her eyes) "...bye"
In that moment, Lily's life was now gone and this made Lincoln let out a loud cry of sorrow. Lincoln now felt shattered to know that he killed his own sister and understood the mysterious voice was providing about.
Lincoln- (sorrow) "LILY...please don't leave me here alone, I'm here for you...please I love you so much…(sniff)...don't go, please!"
Lincoln then wakes up with deep rapid breaths. His face lets out many drips of sweats, and his heart what pounding hard and rapidly. He looked around to find himself still on the bus 7:28 AM, with sleepy lily wrapped around Lincoln's arms, he was relieved to know that it was just a dream and to see Lily ok and alive. He then hugged lily tight and let out a few tears flowing down his cheeks.
Lincoln- (still hugging lily while crying) "thank god, you're ok, you're ok, you're ok,…" (Hic) "I love you...I will never let go of you" (hic) "...I promise I will never harm you" (hics and sniffs)
?- "are you ok?"
Lincoln then looks to his left and sees a woman that was sitting next to him. She seemed to college age student and even has a gray sweater that has the logo of Royal woods university. She also wearing green pants, red converse shoes, and also glasses. Her hair is red and has freckles on her face.
Lincoln then lifted the seat to a regular angle like the rest of the bus seats.
Lincoln- (calming down) (another hic) "...yes, yes I am, thank yo-"
?- (shocked) "what happened to your left eye, it's all black, but it still has the pupils. Still, what happened to you!?"
Lincoln- (lie) "oh, it's just some mutations I was born with.
?- (certain) "oh, black sclera and Alexandria's Genesis.
Lincoln- (unsure) "So...is that what I have, what's your name?"
?- (smiles) "Sophia, Sophia Anderson, what's yours?" (See lily sleeping peacefully) "awww, and she?"
Lincoln- (smiles) "oh, it's Lincoln, Lincoln loud and this is Lily. So where are you heading?"
Sophia- (nervous) "well I'm going to Florida"
Lincoln- (smiles) "me too, to Jacksonville."
Sophia- (smiles) "me too, what are you heading there for?"
Lincoln- (nervous) (lie) "well, family issues...what about you?"
Sophia- (nervous) "well I'm going live with my brother because of...some issue I had"
Flashback to a few hours early. Royal woods university front building, 1:27 AM.
Sophia appears to be dragged off her room by the police with her luggage and was kicked out of campus for...some reason. She then punches the front door of the campus with desperation as she looked to be guilty and sorry.
Sophia- (desperate) "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to set my room on fire! I thought the candles were a bit far from the curtains. Please, I won't let it happen again!
(Silence)
Sophia then pulled out her phone and begins to call someone who doesn't like to hear the news.
Sophia- (nervous) "...hey mom, I uh have a problem...no...no...I got...kicked out of college...I'M SORRY I didn't me-...no no no no, please I need help, what should I do?...no, please don't hang up, I just don't...mom I don't know how to deal with this on my own...hello?"
She then realized that her mother hung up the phone and didn't want to help. Sophia was a very shy and scared person, but she is very intelligent as she is studying to become a forensic science. she couldn't deal with the real world on her own like she is currently having. So right now she thought of calling her brother as he wouldn't mind being able to help. She then dailies the phone and it begins to ring.
Sophia- (nervous) "...Jacob, I have a problem...I got kicked out of college...I'm sorry...could I stay with you until I could get-...no please, just until I find a way to get into another college, I won't take much space...you will...where do you live...Florida?"
End of flashback
Sophia- (sad) "yeah, I think that's about it."
Lincoln- (sorry) "I'm sorry that happened to you."
Sophia- (smiles) "thanks…" (Curious) "sorry for asking but...were you having a bad dream? You seem to wake up and cried."
Lincoln- (sad) "yes, but it's noth-"
Lincoln was interrupted by a cell phone ring from his pocket and assumed that it might be his parents calling for Lincoln and lily to come back. Lincoln then grabbed his phone from his pocket and looks at the screen...yep, it's Rita. Lincoln was about to hang up, but he had an idea. He answered the phone and respond.
Lincoln- (annoyed) "what?"
Rita/call-"Lincoln, please we're sorry. Come back and we promise we will never mistreat you again!"
Lincoln- (annoyed) "no, you had your chance and this wouldn't change a thing, you'll just forget about it within days"
Rita- "Lincoln, we promise this time!"
Lincoln- (annoyed) "yeah sure, just like the rest of the family did, even da- Lynn Sr made a promise and look where that go him when he broke it."
Lynn Sr- (sad) "please, son, I'm sorry for breaking my promise. Please come back and this time I won't break it again."
Gagging sounds could be heard from the distance in the phone
Lincoln- (smirks) "I'm guessing Jr is vomiting in the bathroom, heh guess her organs are now getting used to normal gravity."
Lisa- (whispering) "parental units, it's almost finished."
Of course, this is why Lincoln answer the phone since it sounded like Lisa was attempting to do something that would get in Lincoln's way. But he has a plan, if fortune was caused by people being clumsy, idiotic, and/or intelligence...would Lincoln have the ability to make someone clumsy or...take control? There are many thoughts that Lincoln has in his mind, but it wouldn't hurt to try.
Unfortunately, he thought Lynn Jr would be perfect to possess, but knowing that she is vomiting...it wouldn't be a pleasant feeling. But…
Lincoln- (pretending to sound happy) "ok, I'll come back."
Rita- (joy) "you will?"
Lincoln- "yes, but is Luna there? I just want to make sure if she is ok."
Rita- (happy) "yes, she right here next to me"
Luna- (worried) "hello, Lincoln are you there, is lily ok?"
Lincoln- "yes, she's fine, look I'm coming back."
Luna- (joy) "you are!? Listen we just wanted to say we're-"
Lincoln- "it's fine, just do me a favor and listen very carefully, ok"
Lincoln then leaned the chair back to the way Lincoln was sleeping. He then closes his eyes but still holding sleeping lily in his arms and the phone to his ear.
At the loud house, in Lori's room. The rest of the loud sisters and parents are circling around Luna who has the phone, except for Lisa as she has a device that is connected to a cable and to the phone. While Lynn Jr is in the bathroom...vomiting since her gravity effect came back to normal. But it would be hard to get used to after her organs were crushed or squeezed a bit.
Luna- (worried) "Lincoln are you ther-"
Suddenly Luna dropped the phone and begins to hold her head out of pain... She then stops and her eyes begin to change...she now has purple pupils. She then faces the loud family and they were shocked to see her sudden change of appearance. She gave a disgusted look as she looks around her body.
Luna- (uncomfortable) "oh god...this feels weird...this feels wrong! There's nothing between my legs...or her legs...whatever" (Focused) "but who am I to judge, I feel strong and tall though, now I have some things to do."
Leni- (worried) "Luna, are you feeling well?"
Luna- (smirks) "Luna can't hear you right now, I'm just borrowing her body for something, so I'll give her back when I'm finished"
The Loud family was confused about this. What does she mean by borrowing who's body? Luna then walks out of the room and heads towards her own room. Then comes back with a guitar ax. She gave a creepy smile as she walked up to Lisa and grabbed the device and slammed it against the ground, and smashed it more by using the guitar which is now split into pieces. The family was shocked to see Luna acting out of control.
Lisa- (upset) "what is the meaning of this, we would have traced our brother's location!"
Rita- (upset) "Luna, what are you doing?!"
Luna- (focused but careless) "look, Lisa, you are just getting on my nerves right now. You're also getting way too close to tracking me and Lily down, I have plans of my own and I don't want any of you to get in my way."
Luna then heads out the to the hall and passing the black ash in Lisa and Lily's room, and into Lincoln's room were laid Lincoln's old PJs on the floor that has bits of blood on its sleeves due to the injection. It seemed that it was laid there since Lincoln changed to his normal clothing. She then picks it up and heads out the room, but she was blocked by the rest of the loud family and they were upset.
Lisa- (upset) "what are you doing with that, I need it to take some samples."
Luna- (smirks) "not for long"
Luna then shoved her way out and ran out the halls then downstairs causing the rest to fall on their backs. Luna then heads to the dining room, then to the kitchen where she stood in front of the stove. Turning all the knobs of the stove creating large golf of flames.
Luna- (confidence) (mutters) "too easy, just to be sure Lisa doesn't get the tainted blood and she wouldn't have anything that would be a threat. Well, I could've possessed Lucy since her bangs would be useful to cover the purple pupils, but her body is entirely too weak to get the job done."
She then tossed the clothing into the flames and was now gone. She stood and watched the burning arson. The loud family came into the kitchen and they were now more crossed than before, but Luna didn't seem to care.
Luan- (mad) "have you lost your mind!"
Luna- (smirked) "no, I'm quite fine actually. Do you all still have no idea what's going on, doesn't the pupils give it away, It's me you idiots!"
Lisa- (uncertain) "what are you-...Lincoln?"
Meanwhile on the street on streets, 12 blocks away from the loud residents. A crime scene is being investigated by the police force of Royal woods. Two car police cruisers were parked near the edge of the sidewalk and beside the sidewalk laid a man on the ground with poor but bloody clothing. This person has many thorny vines pierced through his whole body in a gruesome way, even the eyes were pierced by many thorns. His body was entirely attached to a large rose bush but also covered in blood.
Two officers took many pictures of the crime scene and evidence...well what's left of the evidence. While other three officers ran through a sketch, analysts, and samples.
Officer #1- (disgusted) "Jesus, guess the town should increase fund on lawn-mowing service.
Officer #2- (horrified) "I don't think a simple rose bush could do this on its own, it looked the be gruesome murder...psychotic homicide."
Officer #1- "it could be, but who would do such a thing or how?"
Officer #2- "I don't want to know, Mason, but this case is...a new one."
?- "and it's ours"
Both officers looked around to see two agents with black suits walking up to the crime scene where they stand. One of them is a man with a well-combed brown hair and stood to be 6' 3". The other is a woman with a black ponytail and Amara skin tone, stood about 5' 8".
?- (greeting) "agent Kim Martian, and this is my partner, Abigail Herrera. We are from the ADS Advanced Detective Service, and we are here to take over this case."
Abigail- (focused) "we came here to an emergency call from your station's database stating a strange phenomenon occurred at this location."
Mason- (certain) "hold on a minute, you can't just barge in and lead the case-"
Kim- "we have full jurisdiction and control over this investigation. All your men will hand over any analysis and reports immediately to us. Plus we had a little discussion with your chief on the phone and we now claim this case, so would you all please retreat this instance"
There's nothing to do but leave as the ADS now took over the investigation and have full jurisdiction. But what they didn't notice was that ADS stands for Anomaly Decimation Society.
This doesn't look good for Lincoln.
To be continued…
Again I want to apologize for you all reading my rant of somewhat of a big deal about criticism against others, I hate to see people get hurt emotionally by others. I hold the responsibility of my argument. Thank you and goodbye.
