Chapter Three:

Patrick walked over to the park with his eldest son. He was definitely the most abrasive of his children, not afraid to speak his mind, teased his sister endlessly, but beneath all that he was also caring and kind. He helped Chris with his homework and played in the garden with him when he really wanted to be playing video games. And there were times when he loved his sister. He remembered when Willow took her First Holy Communion. When she had received communion with the other children, she had turned to face her parents and brother, and T.J had run out of his seat and given her the biggest hug ever.

Jane smiled fondly as he remembered that memory.

"What are you smiling at?" asked T.J as he climbed up to do the Monkey bars.

"Just a happy memory." Jane replied.

"Oh." T.J replied, swinging across the bars with ease. "Can I ask you something, Dad?"

"Sure."

"Why do you work for the FBI if you're not an Agent?"

Jane looked down at his feet. Luckily, he had remembered to put his shoes back on. He hadn't told any of his children what had happened with Red John. He would one day, but when they were a lot older and could understand. But he didn't want to lie to his son.

"Um… well… that's the million-dollar question." He smiled up at his son, "Why don't you show me how you climb on the climbing wall?"

T.J led his father over to the wall, "So go on then? Why do you work for the FBI? Is it cause you like being with Mom?"

Jane smiled, "That's part of the reason." He watched T.J climb up the wall, "You really are very good at that, you know?"

"I know!" he said, jumping down from where he was and starting to climb back up.

Jane thought for a minute, "Toby, has your mother ever mentioned anything about how we met?"

T.J looked down, surprised by the use of his actual name, "She said you met when you were in a bad place and that you ended up using your skills to catch bad guys…"

"One bad guy in particular. His name was Red John and he took the life of my wife and daughter."

T.J stopped climbing and looked down at his father.

"Minneli, who was the chief of the CBI at the time…"

"CBI?" asked T.J

"California Bureau of Investigation. It was like the FBI but more conveniently located as Cho used to say."

"I've never heard of it."

"That's cause we were disbanded during the Red John case. We unearthed a secret society of corrupt cops, judges, senators, you name it."

"So, what did this guy Minneli do?"

"He let me tag along on a case with your mother, Uncle Rigsby and Cho. I managed to close the case in record time apparently. Minneli liked me so much that he kept me on."

"Okay, but how do you go working for the CBI to the FBI?" he asked, heading over to the swings.

"I did something that was bad, and the FBI offered me a deal in exchange for working for them. I did actually stop for a bit after we were married, but it's like Abbott said, it's very hard to say goodbye."

Silence fell between the two for a while. Jane stared up at the sky and T.J played on the swing. Then a voice shouted in the distance:

"JANE! T.J! WE'RE PACKING UP!"

"That's us told!" Jane smiled as T.J jumped off the swing. He began to walk back off towards everyone else but stopped to look at his father.

"I'm sorry about your wife and daughter, Dad." And he hugged Jane tightly.

Jane found that he couldn't speak but nodded and hugged his son back.

They made their way back across the field in silence.

"Everything okay?" Teresa asked him, seeing the tears tracks down his face.

Jane nodded and focused his attention on saying goodbye to the Rigsby's. Teresa narrowed her eyes and made a mental note to ask him about it later. They walked back in a subdued silence, all three of the kids shattered. Chris sat on his father's shoulders and Willow and T.J walked ahead, too tired to argue or wind each other up. Only Sophie seemed to have woken up, babbling happily to herself in the pram. Teresa kept shooting worried looks at her husband that Jane kept meeting and smiling at her. She hadn't looked at him like that since the final days of the Red John investigation.

They had dinner together and bathed the kids. Willow and T.J had their own upstairs and Chris and Sophie shared one downstairs. They gave the kids a glass of milk. Willow retired to her room, wanting to read more of her book, T.J followed her up a few minutes later and Teresa put Chris to bed. Jane rocked Sophie to sleep and placed her in the crib in their room, whispering, "You are loved, you are safe, you are wise" before kissing her on the forehead before he left.

When he got back into the living room, he found Teresa on sofa, having poured two glasses of wine.

"Care to explain what happened with T.J at the park?"

Jane sighed, "Not really."

"Jane, c'mon. You don't need to wait until I need to know to tell me things. We had this discussion already."

"Toby asked why I work for the FBI when I'm not an agent like you."

"What did you tell him?"

Jane paused and took a sip of wine, "This is really very nice, what vintage is it?"

"Patrick…"

"Right, I told him the truth."

Teresa almost dropped her wine glass, "You told him you killed a man?"

Patrick looked at her, "No of course not! I want to wait until my son hates me for a reason like me embarrassing him, not because I killed Red John, even if he deserved it."

"So what did you tell him?" she asked.

"I told him that I did something that was wrong, and that the FBI offered me a deal if I worked for them."

"Do you think he suspected anything."

Jane shook his head, "As we were heading back to you, he stopped and said 'I'm sorry about Angela and Charlotte' and he hugged me. That's why I was crying."

"Oh, Patrick." Teresa caressed the side of his cheek gently.

"I think…" he began and then paused, thinking about what he was about to say, "I think I should tell Willow and T.J about Angela and Charlotte and Red John… not that I killed him, just enough so they get the general gist and also so that they understand how we met…"

"Are you sure?" she asked, "That's got to be painful for you. And you'll have to repeat it when you tell Chris and Sophie."

"I know but Willow and T.J are at the age where they're starting to ask these questions and I think they have a right to know."

"You know I'll support anything you do, so long as you're sure?" she asked, running her fingers through his hair.

He took her hand and kissed it, "I am." He replied, "I'm also sure that I love you, very much."

She smiled, "I love you too."

He kissed her gently, at first but then deepened it.

"Thanks for a lovely day." He breathed as they pulled apart.

"You're welcome." She replied, looking into his eyes.

"We learnt one thing today…" he grinned.

"What's that?" she asked.

"I'm much better at soccer than you are!"

THE END