I own no one but my own people.
"Don't let yourself imagine it's a lie! I'm not the kind to turn and say goodbye! Even though you test my soul! Make yourself so hard to hold! I'm gonna make you understand. I'm strong enough to be your man!"
Travis Tritt "Strong Enough To Be Your Man."
En Route to Olivia's Apartment, 5:33 PM
"So how long you gonna give Stabler the cold shoulder?"
Olivia didn't even bother to turn from the city rushing by her to glance over at him. "Until it stops hurting."
Fin nodded in understanding. "I get it. I mean six months of somethin' great then he goes and breaks up with you because his ex-wife who put him through hell wants him back one night… That's cold but I just didn't think you had it in you to be this much of a bitch."
Olivia rolled her eyes at Fin crude statement. He had misunderstood her intentions. The first week or so she had given Elliot the silent treatment she admitted it had been to spite him. But after that every time she tried to talk to him or even look at him, the giant hole that had been punched through her chest when he left her that night seemed to grow more painful. So she just ignored him and prayed that the pain would go away soon.
She would stop giving him the 'cold shoulder' when it stopped hurting for her… not for Elliot.
Olivia turned towards him and gave him a diminutive glower. "I'm not a bitch and don't call me that."
"Not speaking to your best friend and partner for six months is, and I'm sorry, girl, a bitch move."
She shook her head in disbelief. "You don't even know what I'm talking about, Fin, so don't try to tell me what a 'bitch move' is and what isn't."
Olivia didn't mean to snap at Fin. She knew he was just trying to give her his point of view on this whole mess but she didn't want him thinking she was a vindictive immature ice queen who doesn't talk to her exes just because they broke her heart.
"Relax, Liv. I'm actually agreeing with you giving him the silent treatment. In fact Stabler pulled more a bitch move then you did. At least he deserves what you doing to him. He was just cold."
"Cold is putting it mildly," Olivia muttered softly as she glanced down at the carpeted floor beneath her.
Fin cast his eyes over to her watched her for a half a moment before he returned his eyes to the road in front of him, feeling anger for Elliot grow inside of him.
Fin made the turn onto Olivia's street and pulled up in front of her building.
She turned to him and gave him a kind albeit sorrowful smile. "Thanks for the ride, Fin."
"No problem, Liv," he said with his own smile as they both unbuckled their seat belts.
Olivia eyed his actions wearily. She wasn't in the mood for company at the moment. "What are you doing?"
Fin cleared his throat and willed himself to look at her. "I thought I could walk you up to your apartment."
"Why?"
"Because a psycho bitch murderer is after you."
Olivia groaned and flopped against the finished leather seat. "Come on, Fin, I can handle myself against Greg Wilson or any other psycho who thinks' their man enough to take me on! I don't need someone to walk me up to my apartment!"
"Oh I know that," said Fin as he raised his hands in mock surrender. "I really do, Liv, but someone else doesn't and he made me promise to walk you up to your apartment."
Olivia crossed her arms and stared at him defiantly, already knowing the answer to her unasked question. "And who would that 'someone' be?"
Fin swallowed any fear of the woman standing before him he had and forced himself to speak. "Elliot."
Olivia narrowed her eyes dangerously. "That bastard thinks he can break my heart and then tell others what they can do for me? That little prick!"
"Olivia, wait!" cried Fin as Olivia wrenched open her door and stormed out of the car, slamming the door behind her.
Fin quickly opened his own door and easily caught up to the irate woman.
Olivia didn't turn around as she pulled out her keys to open the front door. "Leave me alone, Fin!" shouted Olivia as she threw open the door
"Come on, Liv, just hang on a second," Fin pleaded as he followed her into her building and over to the elevator.
"He doesn't get to decide anything for me anymore!" Olivia yelled as she rounded on him in the empty elevator. "He gave up that option of protecting me a month ago!"
Fin lowered his voice in hopes that she would follow his example. "I know he did and I'm sorry you're pissed, but he has a point. Wilson is a psychotic prick with a major hard on for you… Don't you think you should take some precautions?"
"No. I can handle myself! Just because I don't have something dangling in between my legs doesn't mean I can't defend myself!"
"I know that, Liv," Fin explained calmly as the elevator stopped at her floor and they both stepped off it. "We all know that."
Her next words surprised Fin more than anything she had said to him in recent memory. "Elliot doesn't. I mean he used to but he doesn't anymore, not after Sealview. He thinks' I'm some weak damsel in distress he needs to save on a daily basis that can't defend him or me."
Fin's mouth fell open in astonishment as they reached her door. She pulled out her key and went to put them in the lock but Fin gently grasped her arm and pulled her towards him.
"Did he tell you that?" growled Fin menacingly. His brown eyes narrowed dangerously and Olivia almost felt frightened for Elliot.
Olivia shook her head. "No," she answered honestly. "He never said it. He's never had to say it... I know what he's thinking about me."
Fin nodded; truly understanding her words now.
"Olivia, look to me." His words were surprisingly soft and Olivia couldn't help but follow his instructions. She looked up at him and the two detectives eyes met.
"Do you truly think that's what Stabler thinks of you or is that what you think of yourself?"
Her silence gave him his answer.
"Elliot doesn't think you can't defend yourself," he told her, "he never stopped thinking you can defend yourself or his ass and he sure as hell doesn't think you're some weak little bitch who needs recuing every other day because you're not. Hell he's so god damn conceded do you honestly believe that if he really DID think you couldn't defend him or that you were too weak for this job he would have hesitated to put in a new partner request to save his own ass?"
Olivia let out a small chuckle and nodded. "Good point… Thanks Fin."
"No problem, girl," Fin said with a grin. "And you really need to stop thinking that shit about you because it's not true, Liv, and if anyone EVER tells you otherwise, you just let me know and I PROMSE you I'll take care of his bitch ass."
Olivia laughed and Fin couldn't help but smile at the sound that left her lips. "You'll be the first to know."
Fin nodded and clapped his hands together. "Well now that you're safe and sound, I think I'm gonna head on home. See ya tomorrow, Liv."
"Fin, wait," said Olivia as she reached out and caught him by the arm. "Do you maybe wanna come inside and get something to eat? I feel kind of bad you had to drive an hour out of your way just to bring me home."
Fin shrugged as he turned back to her. "Sure."
The two smiled at one another before Olivia turned towards her door and unlocked it. She motioned him inside and they walked in.
"Huh," he muttered as his eyes scanned the apartment before him.
"What's wrong?" Olivia questioned as she hung up her jacket on the hook beside the door.
"Nothing, it's just… I expected some kind of severe bachelor pad and instead I get some cleaned up feminine chick apartment with about a million candles and photos in frames and comfortable looking furniture and shit."
"You've never been inside my apartment before have you?"
Fin shook his head as he went over and picked up a photo in an expensive looking frame of the squad. "No I haven't now that you mention it. I mean we live an hour away from each other and Stabler's always been the one to give you a ride home so I never really had a chance. But I didn't really expect it to be so… femme."
Olivia laughed as she placed her purse besides her jacket. "Well sorry to disappoint that my apartment isn't the ultimate man cave."
Fin shook his head as he walked over and picked up one of the candles and examined it. "Naw, it's cool. Actually it kind of takes a second to realize but this is a definite Olivia Benson apartment."
"Thanks, I think," she chuckled as she turned to him. Her face fell when however when she noticed what he was staring at.
The painting Calvin had done for her months ago that was displayed proudly on her fridge.
Elliot had told him all about the day that Vivian Arliss had come into the precinct and stolen Calvin away from Olivia literally kicking and screaming. He tried to picture anyone taking Ken away from him like that but he couldn't even begin to imagine the pain that would cause him.
Olivia went over to the fridge and gently trailed her Fingers over the small black signature on the bottom right corner. After a tense uncomfortable moment Olivia cleared her throat and opened the fridge. "You want something to drink?" Her voice was full of artificial cheeriness and Fin knew it was just a ruse to get both of their minds of the presence of the young boy Olivia had grown to love. It was a ruse he was more than happy to go along with.
"What do you got?" he asked as he slid off his jacket.
"I got soda, beer, a few wine coolers, and some harder liquor in the cabinet."
"I'll take a beer if you don't mind," Fin answered.
Olivia grabbed a bottle of beer for Fin as well as herself and closed the door behind her.
"Thanks," he said as he took one of the bottles from her hands.
They both twisted off their caps and Fin held his bottle up. "May tomorrow always be a better day then today."
"Nice. I can drink to that," said Olivia with a grin as they clinked their bottles together.
"What can I say, I gotta way with words," Fin said with a smirk as they both took a drink of the liquid inside their glass bottles.
Olivia rolled her eyes as she walked over to her couch. As she walked away from him he allowed his eyes to glance at her backside and he let out a low whistle.
"See anything you like?" she asked without turning around to face him.
Fin chuckled he walked up to her trying to regain some of his previous swagger. "Maybe. I gotta see it again to be sure I like it though."
Olivia tried her best not to blush at his words as she and Fin sat down on the couch. "You know it's almost sad that you guys actually think I don't realize all three of you stare at me."
He shrugged as he took another drink of the beer Olivia had given him. "Come on, Liv, we're all red blooded American males and you're a sexy ass female with curves that ANY girl would be proud off. Do you really think any of us have it in us to resist?"
Olivia coughed and sputtered as she nearly choked on her beer as she put it down on the coffee table in front of her. When she had invited Fin for dinner that was the last thing she had imagined him saying. She cleared her throat and picked up her drink again. "Wow… Gotta tell you, Fin, I really wasn't expecting to hear that from you… ever."
Fin chuckled as he took another drink. "It's the truth though. You're a Fine looking woman, Liv. I can't believe Stabler let full time access with you go."
"Can we not talk about him?" pleaded Olivia. "It's hard enough being with him at work but when I come home I just want to forget he exists."
Fin sighed as he looked over her face. Heart break was as evident in her face as was the pain. "He really hurt you, didn't he?"
Olivia sighed as a framed black and white photo of the two partners caught her eye. "Yeah."
A tense silence encased the apartment and Fin shook his head in disgust. "He's an idiot. He never should have let you go."
"Fin, just stop okay?" she begged.
"I'm serious, Liv. He should have realized what a great catch you are and held on to you as tight as he could instead of throwing you away the moment Kathy decided she wanted her family back together."
"Well he put his family ahead of himself… As much as I want to I can't fault him for that."
"No he put his family ahead of you," Fin corrected and Olivia compelled herself to turn away from the photo and turn towards Fin. "He lost you and he's acting like he can just replace you."
"He did replace me," Olivia muttered as she nursed her bottle.
"No he didn't. I've met Kathy and trust me, girl; Kathy is not you by any stretch of the imagination. She ain't even in the same league as you. You in the major leagues with your curvy self and she's pee wee with her size 1 skinny pale ass."
Olivia couldn't help but laugh at Fin's analogy. She shook her head as she took another drink. "Anyone ever tell you you really know how to make a girl feel better? Thank you."
She leaned in to give him an innocent friendly kiss on the cheek but at the last moment Fin turned his head to talk to her. Their lips met.
They were both so stunned that neither made a move to pull away from the other. When they finally did Olivia blushed and cast her eyes towards the floor.
Fin looked at her as she avoided his eyes at all costs. Olivia cleared her throat and ran a shaking hand through her hair. "I… I don't think I have any left over's so I'll order something," she muttered in a failed attempt to get both of their minds off of what hat just happened. "You in the mood for Chinese or pizza?"
She got up from the couch but Fin grabbed her hand gently and pulled her back onto the couch.
Neither spoke. They simply looked at one another, their breath caught in their throats. Brown eyes met brown. Fin reached up and stroked her cheek and Olivia found herself leaning into his touch. "He's an idiot," he breathed as he leaned in.
"Huge," Olivia muttered in agreement before their lips met once again.
Their kiss started leisurely and slowly built into passion. His facial hair brushed roughly against her face but she didn't mind it and pulled him in closer.
Fin ran his tongue over her lips and she gratefully gave him entry as they slowly explored each other's mouths. He tasted different then Elliot, more affluent almost. Almost everything seemed bigger. His tongue, his lips, his hands… Olivia vaguely wondered what else was 'bigger' about the man kissing her.
She moaned in his mouth and Fins hands went to the hem of her shirt and slowly moved up underneath the fabric, his touch surprisingly rough on her soft olive skin.
Olivia felt his hands come around to the taut stomach and move up. She gently pushed his hands down before they reached his intended goal.
He got her message and moved his lips from her mouth to her jaw line to her neck as he pulled his hands out of her shirt and entwined them in her hair.
"Fin, wait," Olivia whispered as his mouth moved dangerously close to the spot behind her ear that drove her absolutely wild.
"What's wrong, baby girl?" he breathed as his sensual kisses continued.
It almost caused her pain to force the words from her mouth. "It's too soon."
Those three simple words caused him to stop almost suddenly. He pulled his mouth away and slowly detangled his hands from her hair and sat back some. "What is? What we were doing or you and me together at all?"
"For getting hurt again," she muttered as she cast her eyes to the floor. "I'm not going to let myself fall for someone after Elliot broke my heart. I thought he was gonna propose. The night that he broke up with me I thought he was coming over to ask me to marry him. You can't begin to imagine… the pain I felt when he said he would rather spend the rest of his life with a woman who hurt him so many times then someone who loved him more than life."
Fin clutched his hands into fists and he forced himself to contain the severe anger he felt for Elliot.
Olivia and Fin had always been friendly with one another. Not as close as she and Elliot had been even before they started dating but they were friends none the less. When Sealview had happened, he and Olivia had grown even closer than before. He had seen her in a state no one had ever seen her; pure and absolute terror. After he had uncuffed her he saw her looking vulnerable, broken, beaten down into submission. It terrified him to know that a single man could do that to a woman as strong as Olivia.
They grew closer than ever since then and he was the only person who she felt comfortable enough around telling him that she was in therapy. She asked him never to tell a single soul about it and he had agreed to her demands before she finished asking the question.
However since then Sealview he had began understanding Elliot a lot more. He wanted to jump up and kill any man who looked at her wrong. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to make sure he never saw that look on her face ever again… And now when she spoke about Elliot breaking her heart she looked the exact same as she had after he had saved her. Vulnerable, broken, beaten down into submission…
Fin willed the thoughts of murdering Elliot away from his mind and focused on the woman before him. "Olivia, listen to me."
She turned towards him and Fin wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms and make her forget any pain Elliot made her go through as he saw tears gather in her eyes. "I know he hurt you and you don't deserve that. But you can't think that every man you fall for is going to do what he did to you."
"I know." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. "But I don't want to risk taking that chance."
"So don't take that chance. Just trust me and know that I'm not going to throw you away. I'm not going to hurt you the way he did."
Olivia simply stared at him for a moment before she wiped the tears away from her eyes and took a deep shuddering breath. "Are we really doing this? Are we really going to start dating?"
Fin shrugged as sat closer to her once again. "If you want me."
Olivia shook her head before a soft smile grew on her face. "Yeah… I think I do."
A beaming grin lit up Fin's face. "I think I want you too."
Olivia let out a laugh and once again Fin couldn't help but smile at the sound he hardly ever got to hear at work.
Fin leaned in to kiss her once more but Olivia put her hands up to stop him. "Can we just... take this slow?"
Fin chuckled and nodded as he gave her a soft peck on the lips. "Whatever you want, girl."
He leaned back and wrapped his arm around her waist and brought her closer to him, the two happily gazing into one another's eyes. "Whatever you want…"
Let the drama begin… Please Review :)