By dawn, Valerie was completely and totally exhausted. She also recognized that she was going to have a massive hangover in the morning—evening?—if she didn't get herself hydrated. Pam and Chow watched in amusement as she downed bottle after bottle of water before finally giving up, taking an Advil, and going to bed. Of course, she didn't actually have a bed at the bar, so she just had to settle for the sofa in Eric's office. She was so tired that she didn't bother to discard the skin-tight leather pans that she had pulled from the closet earlier. Needless to say, they weren't exactly breathable, and she wasn't exactly comfortable, but it didn't matter. The minute her head hit the cushion, she was dead to the world.

That was exactly how Eric found her when he walked into his office just after sunset the next evening. His chat with the queen had been more stressful than intended—thanks to Bill Compton—and her threat to have his fangs for earrings was still echoing in his mind. It didn't help matters that she had heard "rumors" that a human had spilled vampire blood in his presence and he hadn't taken any "disciplinary" action just yet. He was still contemplating how to deal with Dr. Malone, and the added pressure from the queen was not something he wanted to deal with.

"Why didn't you just drain her dry right there?" she had asked him. He was still wondering why he hadn't.

"Pam, why is our guest asleep on my couch smelling like she hasn't bathed in days?" he called, trying to deal with the problem at hand.

"Because she hasn't," Pam answered, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Didn't bother anyone last night, though. They found our human bartender rather amusing."

"Human bartender?" he asked, his voice sharp. "We're supposed to be punishing her for spilling vampire blood and you had her tending bar?"

"We had a thirty percent increase in revenue last night. She's good for business."

"And if she doesn't suffer the consequences for her actions, others are going to think that it's okay for them to cause trouble here. We have to make an example of her. Have you found out anything else about her, yet?"

Pam shook her head. "I'll have it later tonight."

"Good. Now get her cleaned up." Despite his authority as her maker and her sheriff, Pam gave him one of those looks. One that screamed "Do your own dirty work." He sighed in frustration, though he couldn't blame her too much. She had taken Valerie to the hospital, which was never a pleasant thing for a vampire. There were bound to be questions, and while they were harmless, they were extremely annoying. Without another word, he shook Valerie roughly awake.

She pulled her eyes open slowly, noticed Eric, and closed them again. Since the minute she had set foot in this place, life had been nothing but complicated, messy, and a general pain in the ass. She knew that she was in an enormous mess, and that at some point she was going to have to start cleaning it up—the first step of which was going to involve dealing with Eric. But that was all easier said than done, and easier done without a splitting headache.

"Get up. You need a shower. You reek."

"Nice to see you, too. Give me a minute…I'm having a human moment. I'm betting you don't remember what your last hangover felt like," she said, not moving.

"It's been a while, yes. Now get up, or I'll pick you up."

That was all the prodding she needed. She was standing before him a few seconds later, looking completely disheveled. Pam's leather pants were clinging to her, but were too long and puddled around her bare feet. The Fangtasia tank top showcased her slender form well, but was wrinkled and had some liquor and True Blood spilled on it. Her hair was sticking out in all sorts of ways, and in dire need of washing.

"That's better," he said with a humorless smile. She slipped into her shoes and followed him out to his car. A black Jaguar. She had thought that he would have something slightly flashier. But then, perhaps not. He had that kind of confidence that didn't require flashy cars. He was content just knowing that he had the power, he had control. Do what you want, his body language dared, but you'll know when you've acted up. And punishment will be swift.

Except that in her case, it wasn't. She was still breathing (which was always a good thing), walking, and talking. For some reason, she wasn't dead yet, which was extremely comforting, and she was being treated better than she had expected. But the fact of the matter was, she was still there, and she wanted to go home.

"You said I could go home when you got back. You're back, and I want to go home," she said bluntly. There really was no point in trying to be subtle with Eric, not when he had all the cards.

"I can't do that just yet," he answered shortly.

"I think there's nothing you can't do."

He was silent for a long moment when she said that. His face remained neutral, and if not for the slight tightening of his hands on the steering wheel, she never would have thought that anything was wrong. But something was going on. It wasn't the first time her words had caused this sort of reaction. There was sadness in him, and she wanted to know why. How could someone as cold as Eric Northman feel anything at all? But he did, and she had a suspicion that he felt quite deeply.

"What are you hiding from me?" she asked, her voice softer, more gentle. He still didn't answer. She wanted to touch him, to give him something to hold on to. "I know you're keeping something from me. You're…sad isn't the right word. It's deeper than that…and you don't want anyone else to see…"

They stopped at a stop light, and she reached for him. Her fingers ran across his jaw, over his cheekbone, as if she could find some answers written in his face. He didn't pull away. Instead, he turned his face into her hand and nuzzled her palm. Drawing a deep breath, he took in the smell of her blood that lay so close to the surface. The whole time, she watched him silently, trying to figure him out. They were interrupted by the honking of cars behind them.

"The light's green," she whispered, not moving her hand.

"How very astute, Doctor." And there it all went. The moment was broken again. The softness was gone, and replaced with that cold sense of humor that she had seen so frequently. "Being the astute woman you are, I'm sure you know that I can't just let you off. You spilled vampire blood, and for that, there will be consequences."

"So what do you want?"

"Normally, when a human harms our kind, I would take it out in flesh."

Her blood ran cold, and her heart started hammering in her chest. No, she thought, stop and think, Valerie. That does him no good. What does he have to gain from that?

"You don't even eat flesh. You drink blood, so what good does that do?" she asked.

"If keeps you from thinking you can get away with that sort of thing again."

"I didn't want to have to do it in the first place. I was trying to have a quiet wake for my future, and he disturbed me. He took my blood first!" She was having trouble keeping her voice down.

"Actually, when you hit him with the glass, you drew first blood."

"He was going to crush my trachea. That counts for something."

"I understand that. That's why I'm only going to take your blood."

"Oh, yeah. You're only going to take my blood? I've had more blood related incidents in the past two days than ever before in my whole damn life. No more," she said angrily.

You can give me your blood and live, or you can refuse, and die." His words were blunt and cold. She was still for a moment, staring at him, completely at a loss for words. Of course, she knew that, ultimately, her life was in his hands, but he appeared to be giving her an option. She could choose to live or choose to die. Why give her that choice? What was the catch?

"Why are you giving me a choice?" she asked. "Not that I'm not grateful, but…"

"Would you prefer I decide for you?"

"That's alright. I'm sure I can make up my mind. But why? Why do I get a choice?"

He was silent for a moment before answering. "You amuse me."

"Right. Well, glad I have some entertainment value. But there has to be a catch in there somewhere. What is it?"

"You get to live. Isn't that enough? I know you want to live, or you wouldn't have fought back when you were attacked. I'm giving you that chance," he said. He was unreadable. His tone said that he was annoyed, but his face was a mask of neutrality.

"You're not the type to do anything for free. So what's up?"

"My own amusement is reason enough."

Moments of realization are different for everyone, and different with each realization. When it dawned on Valerie, she wasn't loud. She didn't pitch a fit. She didn't cry or yell, as some others would do. Instead, she clasped her hands in her lap, and stared straight ahead. When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet.

"I don't get to go back, do I?"

Eric shook his head. "You're not in Kansas anymore."

In any other circumstance, it would have been funny. Honestly, a stone-cold vampire quoting The Wizard of Oz. But she was all laughed out. All ounce of hysterical humor had left her. In it's place, there was anger and exhaustion. She hated the choice that she faced—not that it was much of a choice. There wasn't really in question of what she was going to choose.

"If I'm so amusing, why punish me at all? Would my pain amuse you?"

He laughed, but the sound was harsh and bitter in her ears. "We all have someone to answer to," he replied tersely. Almost as an afterthought, he added, "I can't have any underlings thinking it is okay to make a scene in my Area. Humans and vampires alike."

She nodded. "It wouldn't do a bit of good to tell you this is wrong…But then, we both know that there isn't really a right or wrong in this world. It's just survival or death."

Her words were as bitter as his laugh had been. He clenched his jaw, knowing exactly what she meant. His maker—his father, his brother, his son—had taught him the same lesson so very long ago. He wiped his eye before a bloody tear could fall and give him away. Valerie saw, but didn't push. Instead, she sat—angry that she didn't have control over her own life, and angry that some of this mess was her own damn fault. But mostly, she was angry because she couldn't bring herself to hate him.

They pulled up in front of a medium sized house. It was sleek, with long, clean lines. There were few windows outside the house, but it was so well-designed that it didn't detract from the beauty of the house. She wanted to make a smart ass remark about it, but she couldn't. Try as she might, everything seemed to fall flat in her brain.

"Let's go," Eric said, sliding gracefully out of the driver's side. She didn't move. She was still as stone, staring at his house. Just as Eric's home suited him, hers had suited her. But not anymore. No longer was she a successful psychologist. No longer was she the head of her field doing ground-breaking research. No, perhaps her home didn't suit her anymore.

"Get up," he said again, not ungently. Still, she continued to sit there. Finally, he picked her up roughly, though his lack of finesse was not on purpose. Humans were fragile…sometimes he forgot just how gentle one had to be with them. Being gentle and kind wasn't his business. Intimidation was his business, and he was damn good at it. He pushed the door open and carried her across the threshold, though not without bumping her feet on the doorframe.

"Ow! Put me down!" She came alive—kicking and screaming. He put her down unceremoniously .

"The bathroom is down the hallway, second door on the left. Leave the door open."

"So you can have a good view?" she said, though it didn't carry its usual sting.

"So I can guarantee you won't do anything stupid," he answered. "Like try to run away."

Valerie nodded and made her way down the hall without a word. She knew that she should be taking in her surroundings, trying to figure out what it could tell her about Eric, but she didn't much care at the moment. Without much thought, she stripped off Pam's clothes and stepped into the shower. As the hot water hit her, the dam that had been holding everything back broke. She couldn't stop the tears that welled in her eyes and overflowed down her cheeks.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair. Fair was a useless term, she knew, but that didn't stop her in the least from wishing that it was. But then, if wishes were horses…She wanted to hit something, anything, just to make it hurt as much as she did. She wanted to rewind the last two days and do them all over again. She wanted to hate Eric Northman for putting her in this situation, but she couldn't. The fact of the matter was, if she hadn't broken all her rules, if she hadn't pulled into Fangtasia, if she had just paid a little more attention, maybe things would be different…

…But they weren't, so all the "what-ifs" didn't matter. Her situation was her own damn fault, and she knew it. Here she was, no other options but to accept her new life and move on. But it didn't stop her from mourning the old one. It didn't stop her from mourning for what she had lost. It didn't quell the mass of confusing emotions that were overwhelming her.

Eric's voice pulled her from her reverie. "If you stand under the water much longer, you're going to burn yourself."

And that was the straw that broke the camel's back. With no thought of modesty, she pushed back the shower curtain, and stepped out of the shower swinging. Her first punch connected with his jaw, her second with his stomach. She couldn't see worth a damn because of the tears that were still pouring down her cheeks, but she kept on throwing punches anyway. The next few hit his chest, each blow bringing her closer and closer, until she collapsed against him.

Her blows were like a child's—weak and futile—but he let her throw them anyway. When she fell against him, he caught her, and let her stay there. He wasn't going to kill her, and he wasn't going to change her, but her old life was still gone. He had never needed to mourn for his life, though he had—and still did—mourn the loss of others. It was a necessary part of life—and death—and he wasn't going to deny her that.

A/N: So, a huge thank you for all the support on this story. Y'all are amazing. Please continue! Reviews? Please? =)