Chapter 3

In the baby goat's dream, he was in a deserted Globnar arena. A panel opened in the floor and the Time Baby floated up.

"Time Baby, Sir," said Gompers in the dream. "I can explain..."

"Who are you?" said the Time Baby.

"You don't remember me?" said Gompers.

"Sorry, I don't have object permanence," said the Time Baby.

"What?" said Gompers.

The Time Baby's skin turned bright yellow and the hourglass on its head rotated into a bow tie. He morphed into a one-eyed triangle.

"Just kidding!" said Bill Cipher. "Of course I remember you, Fez Symbol! We made a deal."

"You cheated me," said Gompers. "You didn't give me what you promised."

"I did, too," said Bill. "Watch this flashback."

"Man, the sooner I defeat those kids in Globnar, the sooner I can win my time wish," said Blendin Blandin.

Blendin and the two Time Anomaly Removal Crew agents Lolph and Dundgren were in the backyard of a primitive dwelling of the past, looking for the escaped Globnar tributes Dipper and Mabel Pines.

"Tell you what I'd do if I had a time wish. Retire early. Spend more time with the kids," said Dundgren.

"Naing Niang Niang Niang Niang, with the kids!" said Blendin.

Dundgren tuned out as Blendin yammered on about time wishes. The world around him turned gray as he fell asleep on his feet.

"I can help you get that wish, in return for a small favor," said a small yellow triangle. "The name's Bill Cipher, and I'm a powerful dream demon. Come back to these space-time coordinates plus ten minutes (after you watch the Globnar game, of course) and we can do a deal."

The flashback cut forward to when Dundgren returned.

"You promised to fulfill my wish? I'm not sure I trust you. What do I have to do in return?

"It's simple for a time agent like you," said Bill. "Just change the symbol that appears on a hat from this..."

Bill displayed a crescent-shaped symbol.

"... to this."

Bill displayed a symbol like a fish, with a triangular mouth eating a round object.

"Just change a symbol?" asked Dundgren. "I won't even have to mess with events in time to do that. I can set up a quantum superposition of two parallel universes, one with the crescent symbol and one with the fish symbol, with me as the observer who can collapse the probability wave to one or the other."

"You don't have to explain this stuff to me," said Bill. "The universe is a hologram, yada yada."

"You know quantum physics?" asked Dundgren.

"I know lots of things," said Bill in s deeper voice, displaying a rapid succession of images.

Dundgren nodded. Most of the secrets were known in his time. He got out his quantum adjuster and entered the necessary transformations.

"Nothing has changed yet," Dundgren told Bill. "Nothing will happen until I touch an object that has the old symbol on it. Then the symbol will change wherever it appears, instantly, backwards and forwards in time."

"Do it, then. I know where you can find some bobble-heads with the symbol on them," said Bill.

"Not until I get my time wish," said Dundgren. "I don't quite trust you."

"No problemo," said Bill. "All we need now is for you to sneak into a secret hidden room in a building near here. Oh yeah, and take a baby goat in with you."

"That's when you tricked me," said Dundgren in Gompers. "When I rubbed my feet on the carpet in that room, the goat and I swapped bodies."

"That was how I granted your wish," said Bill. "You retired early, and you're spending time with the kids. That is, you're spending time with yourself as a kid goat. Hahahaha!"

"That's not what I meant!" said Dundgren.

"Gotta watch the wording of those wishes," said Bill.

"That was a dirty trick, demon. I passed out from the shock and woke up outside," said Dundgren.

"I popped into your old body temporarily. The goat didn't belong in there and he was willing to let me. Then I picked goat-you up, got you out of there, and slid the bookcase back into place," said Bill.

"Where is my body now?" Dundgren demanded.

"The goat is back in, keeping it warm for me until I need it again," said Bill. "It will be a useful piece in a game I'm playing. More than a pawn; it's a knight that can jump in time."

"You never wanted that symbol changed," said Dundgren. "It was all a trick to get my body!"

"I wanted the symbol changed, too," said Bill. "I can look out from any drawing of me, and the new symbol has me in sideways silhouette, with the dot as my eye. It will be handy to keep an eye on the doings of Stan Pines."

"You'll never get that change, because I'll never touch that symbol for you," said Dundgren.

"Take a look at Glasses' fez the next time he comes around. You'll touch the fez, sometime in the future when your mind has become more like a goat from living in a goat's body. The change has already spread forwards and backwards in time."

"Why do you call him Glasses?" asked Dundgren.

"I have a Ring of ten symbols, for people whose lives I'm messing with. They could possibly stop me taking over the world, but they won't since I'm too clever for them. I have a symbol for each one, based on something important to them. The Fez Symbol is you. The Glasses are a spare pair that belong to Stan's brother, who he's trying to get back from another dimension."

"Why aren't the Glasses the brother, then?" asked Dundgren.

"Because he already has a symbol that's more important to him, the Six-Fingered-Hand."

"You have this all worked out, don't you?" said Dundgren. "But I'll find a way to communicate with people and warn them about you."

"Not while the llama is there to stop you," said Bill.

"Why is the llama working for you? Are you possessing it, too?"

"He's the friend of a friend," said Bill.

The dream faded, and Gompers woke with a bleat.