AN: Honestly, I don't know why some of these things go through my mind at night. My brain must be a sadist or something because I tend to usually think of stuff that just hurts...

Disclaimer: I don't own The Avengers, Steve Rogers, Yelena Belova, Alisandra Morales, SHIELD, Inuyasha, or anything else you may recognize.

~~5 months later~~

It's 11:11 at night. It's been a long time since you've thought about Steve like this… and it all started from a day dream.

'If right now could be like that night all those years ago… That lonely night when I imagined Inuyasha in bed with me and all I wanted was for him to hug me… I just wish that could happen right now…'

You think to yourself about who would be with you and what would happen if that were the case.

'If Ichigo were here, he'd hug me lightly at first. Then he'd hug me tightly. It wouldn't be too tight, just enough that I would be able to smell his natural manly smell and feel like he loved me…'

The next thing you know, you're thinking about the time Steve hugged you that way…

It was during a S.H.I.E.L.D. meeting. Agent Yelena Belova had just betrayed the agency so the higher ups thought it was necessary for everyone to be briefed about the situation and to voice their opinions on why it happened so that this wasn't an event that would occur yet again. It had already happened quite too much for their liking and there was a fear that soon, S.H.I.E.L.D. might be seen as a joke. At the end, some more emotionally-aware people decided to show their support through hugs. After all, with just a simple hug a person can feel both appreciated and important.

Of course, being that this WAS a room full of professional spies, assassins, and others whom would never willingly hug—hugging is a sign of weakness in most of their eyes— the hugging was left to a very small party.

You were new still and, though you understood that you might be looked down upon, well, you felt the need to hug as well. Agent Belova seemed like such a nice woman.

But you did see why she might think it'd be better for her to work for the enemy… No one likes to be compared to others. And considering that Yelena was the second Black Widow, her logic made perfect sense to you considering that you always compared yourself to Robin...

You hugged all the people you were close to you and then, as you were turning, you were surprised by a bear hug from a giant who never realizes how small he makes other people feel… Immediately you blushed. He mumbled some incoherent words into your shoulder, held you for about another ten seconds, and then went to hug someone else.

You stared after him in shock for a bit but just shook your head and tried to think nothing of it.

But then, once again, he hugged you. This time you heard some of his words: "Please don't leave —…"

'Did he say "me"?' you couldn't help but question yourself.

'Of course he didn't say that. I mean, why would he ever ask me not to leave him? I don't mean anything to him…' you thought to yourself, trying to kill this feeling of hopefulness that began blooming in your heart.

You tried to come up with explanations to soothe your over-imaginative mind but nothing could make you shake the feeling that he said something that made you very happy…

Finally, right as you were about to hug Alisandra Morales, the only person you hadn't, you felt arms wrap around your waist from behind. Ali gave you a knowing look and quickly departed, leaving you shocked and in a very awkward situation.

After a few seconds, you lightly touched the hands around your waist and asked, "Steve?"

"Yes (Y.N.)?" Steve responded.

"I kind of need to go…" you said hesitantly… You were nervous from all the hugging he kept doing and knew that you wouldn't be able to stand it if he was giving you the wrong signal.

"It's ok. I'll walk you."
"I don't think my big brother will much appreciate this..." you say very embarrassed.

"Coulson? You know the man loves me, he'll be fine with it."
"Steve, he's giving me a ride home, he's on very good terms with my mom, and—considering how much he loves you—he might just do me the favor of telling my mom so she can kill me."

"Hahahahahahahahaha" he laughed that wonderful hearty laugh of his that always makes you melt. Even if it were a dream, you know you'd have the same reaction.

You feel the pinpricks of tears starting to form and the stab deep in your chest. You know what's coming but you keep fighting it.

'No damn it! I will NOT cry! He's moved on and so have I. I may not have a boyfriend but I don't like him anymore. God, why am I even thinking about him?'

Yes, you did say you were over him. Yes, you were convinced you were. And yes, you did start thinking about him again once you found out that he had gotten a girlfriend recently… But really, did this really come as a surprise to you?

You bite your lower lip as the tears start to fall…

'Fuck… First I find out that Phil's being sent away on a mission for at least six months but possibly close to over a year and now I'm reminiscing about Him?'

You keep tossing and turning in bed but you just can't sleep anymore. You glance at the clock and see that it's five minutes till midnight. You turn on your back and just stare at the ceiling.

'I wish I could go back. I wish I could just experience that one more time, at least to hug him again. That was the last time he hugged me like that…'

' I wish I could've said something or, maybe, just not have said anything at all. Hell, I just wish I could've hugged him tighter so I could remember his smell better...'

You sigh a deep remorseful sigh… 'No. I can't do anything now. What's done is done…'

It's pointless to regret. Life is all what's happening in the now. You can live in the past and miss what's all around you or you could try to enjoy what's there while it lasts. You decide that you and Phil need some quality time before he has to leave. You take out your phone and send a quick text.

"Hi Phil. u wanna go watch 'The Exorcist: Pt. 2' this sat.?"

End Note: In the words of a wise turtle (and whoever he got it from), "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the 'present.'"