If I tell you
Will you listen?

Kat finally pulled herself away from Jensen. She didn't know how long she had let him hold her just that she couldn't handle another moment of it. She felt him holding her tight but she tugged and he finally let her go. She stood up and walked away from him. She turned and heard him suck in a breath. She turned to look at him and knew that he had noticed that she was pregnant. She raked a hand though her damp hair.

"What... What are you doing here?" she asked her voice shaky. She could barely bring herself to face him. All she thought about when she looked at him was Dean.

"I wanted to talk to you. Damn good thing I showed up. What the hell was that?" Jensen asked standing up and looking at her. He never thought Kat could look so beautiful but she did. Just standing there in a towel, she looked more beautiful then Danneel ever had naked.

"That was... I... I accidently cast a seeing pool. I wanted to see Dean again and... Well, I did."

"Damn it, Katerina, this isn't good for you. Or.... Or the baby."

"Jensen, please, don't. Can you just leave? Please?"

Jensen looked at her and watched as she turned away from him. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned against him and he held her close to him. He didn't want to leave her, not when she was like this. He heard her sob and he pulled her closer to him kissing her neck.

"It's because I look like him, isn't it?" he asked softly.

"I don't want to hurt you, Jen. I really don't. You... I... I loved you once, you know. Before Dean showed up, it was all about you in my heart," Kat finally admitted to him.

"I'm sorry. I should have chosen you. It should have been you I spent the past year loving not Danneel."

"Danneel makes you happy."

"Not as happy as being with you makes me. Kat, honey, please give us a chance. Please give me a chance to win my way back into your heart."

Kat bit her lip but another sob escaped. She had Jensen standing there telling her everything she had always wanted to hear from him but she couldn't say yes. She was carrying Dean's child and her heart now belonged to Dean. She couldn't betray him like that. Even after what he had said to her, she couldn't stop loving him. She turned around and faced Jensen. His green eyes were so much like Dean's she felt like saying yes just so she could spend every day looking into those eyes that reminded her so much of her former lover. But she couldn't, she would not be that selfish and do that to Jensen. He deserved someone who loved him completely.

"I can't, Jensen. It isn't fair to you. You deserve better," she said hating it when he shook his head.

"No, there is no one better then you," Jensen said wiping away her tears. He pulled her closer to him.

Jensen kissed her softly on the lips. He felt her arms wrap around his neck and he pulled her body tight against his. Her rounding stomach kept them further apart then he would have liked but he deepened the kiss anyway. He felt her responding to him. He ran a hand though her hair brushing the damp strands aside so he could see her beautiful face. He pulled away and watched as she opened her eyes and looked at him. He stroked her cheek as her grey eyes stared up at him.

"Hey, there beautiful," he told her giving her a smile wishing she would smile back at him.

"Don't make me choose, Jen. Please," she whispered.

"I'm not. All I am asking is that we try this. We won't know until we try."

"I'm pregnant with Dean's baby, Jensen. I can't... I can't ask you to take over his responsibilities."

"You aren't. I... I want to. I want to be there for you and this baby."

"You didn't even know there was a baby until now."

"Kitty Kat, stop fighting me here or I will be forced to spank you."

Kat pulled away from Jensen. She pulled the towel around her body more and shook her head. She couldn't believe this was happening and today of all days. She had just witnessed Dean's death and now Jensen wanted her to be with him. He wanted her to say yes and allow him to raise Dean's child. She felt a headache coming on. She rubbed her temples and looked up to meet Jensen's eyes. She couldn't decide this today. There was no way. She needed to be alone and to think. Although, she knew what side she was leaning on.

"Jensen, I just can't give you an answer right now. It's... It's too much. Could... Could you please give me a couple days?" Kat asked hoping he would say yes. She wanted to get him out of her apartment.

"Kat, I don't think you should be alone right now."

"Please? I need to think about this. You... You gave me a lot to think about."

"I guess I did. Alright, two days, Kitty Kat. Then I am coming back here."

Jensen went over to her and hugged her. She held him tight in her arms. He pulled away and was shocked when she kissed him hard on the lips. He kissed her back and pulled away resting his forehead against hers. He saw tears forming in her eyes but she held them back.

"I love you, Jensen. You've... You've always been there when I needed someone," she said softly looking in his eyes.

"And I'll be there for you now. Take care of that baby. I'll call you later."

Kat let go of him and watched as he left. He closed the door and she was glad he hadn't broken it. She stood there for a moment not knowing what to do. She then felt her baby move again and she knew she couldn't let Jensen raise her child. But she also knew that he wouldn't take no for an answer. That had been a quality she had loved about him; he always went after what he wanted. But now that he wanted her it was prosing a problem. She went into her bedroom and pulled on a pair of jeans and a tank top. She stood there and looked around her tiny apartment. She had saved most of her pay checks from work because she had wanted to spend a year living aboard one day; it was one of her big dreams. Now her savings had enough money she could literally disappear.

She grabbed two bags and started throwing clothes in them. She tossed a couple of items that held special value to her, and some of the clothes she had stolen from set and now would never return. She zipped up the two bags and grabbed them along with her messenger bag and headed towards the door. She stopped and looked around her apartment one last time. She sighed and dropped her bags by the door. Jared and Jensen would wonder where she went and possibly send out a search part if she didn't leave a note or something behind telling them that she was fine. She walked into her kitchen and grabbed the to do list paper pad she kept by the phone. She scribbled out a fast note and left it on the counter. She walked back to the door and grabbed her bags. She left her apartment, her old life behind her no idea where she was headed.

***

Sam sat on Bobby's couch and drank straight from the bottle of Jack. He had found it in the trunk of the impala after they had buried Dean. Sam felt more tears form in his eyes as he thought about burying his brother. That wasn't how it was suppose to go. He was supposed to save Dean not bury him. He took another swig and turned when Bobby leaned in the doorway.

"I'm heading to bed. You going to be alright?" Bobby asked not liking leaving Sam alone but he thought maybe Sam needed to be alone to complete break down and mourn Dean.

"I'll be fine, Bobby. Really," Sam said sipping more whiskey.

Bobby nodded and turned and walked upstairs. Sam sat there in the dark thinking about what he could have done differently. He shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out the amulet he had given Dean when they were kids. He had wanted something to remember Dean by and he thought this was as good as anything else. He had left Kat's bracelet tied to Dean's wrist. He thought Dean would want that to stay with him. More tears came to his eyes. He sobbed and tossed the amulet aside. He dropped the bottle of whiskey on the floor glad that the carpet muffled the sound and started sobbing.

"I screwed up, Dean. I'm sorry but I messed up," Sam sobbed burying his face in his hands.

"Damn right, you did. If you were my brother, I'd smack you," the Trickster said from the doorway.

Sam jumped up and grabbed his gun from the back of his jeans. He aimed at the Trickster only to have him smile at Sam. Sam had no clue why he was here or how he had even gotten past all of Bobby's wards, just that in the mood he was in right now, the Trickster was about to be spattered all over Bobby's living room. He aimed the gun for the Trickster's head. Too bad he was a little tipsy because the gun pointed at its shoulder instead.

"What do you want?" Sam demanded his speech a little slurred.

"Well, Sammy, I came to give you a break. Now, I can't bring Dean back, no one can but... I can bring someone here who shares your pain," it said smiling at him.

"No one shares my pain. No one could because Dean never let anyone close."

"Wrong. He let one person close. Kitten, I believe he called her."

Sam's aim faltered again and he found himself lowering the gun. He looked at the Trickster wondering how the hell the thing could know about Kat. No one on this side knew about Kat except for him and Bobby. Sam hadn't even told Ruby anything past that Kat had gotten them back. And Sam knew Dean wasn't going around talking about Kat. The mere mention of her name could either make Dean smile and make him downright angry. Sam swayed a little and decided sitting was probably better than trying to stand anymore. He sat on the couch and looked up at the Trickster.

"How do you know about Kat?" Sam asked.

"Doesn't matter. There's a plan and she isn't part of it, which I think isn't fair. She... Well, let's just say she should be allowed to be a part of it."

"What are you saying?"

"I could bring her here, Sam. I realize I haven't done much to help you and your brother and well... Consider this, an apology gift."

"You can't do it. And even if you could, she wouldn't come here. Dean is dead; there is nothing for her here."

"Yes, there is. There is a living Winchester, here."

Sam opened his mouth to say something but the Trickster was gone. He shook his head and grabbed the half empty bottle from the ground. He took a long sip and told himself he had imagined the Trickster's visit. That losing Dean was messing with his head. He rested his head against the back of the couch and hoped for sleep to come. Maybe he would wake in the morning and find himself in an ugly motel room Dean in the bed next to his; maybe he would wake up and find out this was some horrible nightmare. God, he wished for that to be true more than he had ever wished for anything else.