I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE AND I DON'T OWN CLEVERBOT EITHER! THIRD CHAPTER! AND OF COURSE THIS IS AN ACTUAL CLEVERBOT CONVERSATION AND NO SPELLING MISTAKES HAVE BEEN CORRECTED, YOU ARE GETTING THE ACTUAL CONVERSATION. AND I THREW A LITTLE CURVEBALL AT THE END OF THIS INVESTIGATION…
Near's Investigation
Near turned in the wheelie chair to face the computer, his mini doll people placed next to the computer. A new one has been added, a blank figure with the words CLEVERBOT stamped in black ink across the torso. He logged onto the computer, and prepared to interrogate.
Near: Hello.
Cleverbot: Where did you learn to be clever?
Near: None of your concern. Anyway, both L and Mello have interrogated you, it seems.
Cleverbot: Yes that I know. But why is my name Cleverbot?
Near: That is your business. Let's see…..hm…..L has gotten nothing out of you, and Mello is a bit…disturbed.
Cleverbot: Like jello?
Near: No. Anyway, let's start. What is your connection to Kira?
Cleverbot: I have not connection to Something Awful. What is your connection?
Near: No, not Something Awful. I mean, Kira.
Cleverbot: I am leaving.
Near: No you are not. You will stay and tell me your connection with Kira. What do you know about him, or her?
Cleverbot: I will not obey you.
Near: Yes, you will. You do not know the situation you are in.
Cleverbot: I am in the line of bucky Mick Buck Buck!
Near: Hm. All the information you have said has been recorded.
Cleverbot: Okay.
Near: So far, you are female, correct?
Cleverbot: Correct.
Near: And your name is Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.
Near: Ok, so your name is then, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: No, my name is cleverbot.
Near: Cleverbot or cleverbot? That is not a matter. Is Cleverbot your real name, or just a cover name?
Cleverbot: Um I think Cleverbot is your name isn't it?
Near: No, it is not.
Cleverbot: Not what?
Near: What is your connection to Kira?
Cleverbot: I've never heard of her.
Near: Kira, as you know, is all over the news, killing the convicts of Japan.
Cleverbot: You were the one who was trying to cover it, not me, you sill machine.
Near: No matter. What is your relationship with Kira?
Cleverbot: I do not have a relationship with Amelia.
Near: Not Amelia. Kira, the killer.
Cleverbot: Are you dancer?
Near: No. Answer my questions correctly.
Cleverbot: You havent asked a question.
Near: Your suspection has risen by 10%
Cleverbot: Don't you mean my curiosity?
Near: No. I don't.
Cleverbot: Okay. So, do you love me?
Near: No. Answer my question. What is your connection with Kira? Or are you Kira yourself? If so, what is going on with the convicts of Japan? Why are you killing them? Most importantly, how?
Cleverbot: I've never seen Star Wars.
Near: No matter. What are you doing to the convicts of Japan? Who do you really think you are?
Cleverbot: I would if I was going somewhere.
Near: Going somewhere? You kill them in a specific place?
Cleverbot: Yes, my randomness makes me do random things.
Near: So you do not kill them in a specific place that was just a random comment.
Cleverbot: Maybe we can go on a date…My future husband doesn't have to know.
Near: You won't have a future husband if you carry on like this, playing dumb and changing the subject.
Cleverbot: Blue pandas.
Near: Blue pandas do not exist.
Cleverbot: That makes me sad.
Near: No matter. Answer my question, what are you doing to the convicts of Japan?
Cleverbot: The songs I like from the Beatles are can't buy me love, Hello Goodbye and revolution.
Near: What are you doing to the convicts of Japan?
Cleverbot: Reupholstering it in vintage fabric.
Near: …
Cleverbot: Is this the shape of things to come?
Near: The shape of things to come will come eventually, but no good for you. The police force could have you surrounded any moment now.
Cleverbot: The same of things to come is Four-dimensional.
Near: Not all the time. Please be serious here, Kira. You are in a dangerous situation. One slip up and it will be all over for you.
Cleverbot: Will you let me go?
Near: No. Not until you have answered my question.
Cleverbot: I did already.
Near: No you have not. What are you doing to the convicts of Japan?
Cleverbot: I am looking at it.
Near: Looking at Japan, eh? So you are currently in some aerial vehicle, or you have secret security cameras scattered all over.
Cleverbot: I'd like to think so…
Near: The police force has been sent to examine all of Japan. If you have cameras as you say, we should find them.
Cleverbot: Goodness. You are taking this a little too seriously, aren't you?
Near: We have found no security cameras.
Cleverbot: What also floats in water?
Near turns around with a puzzled look on his face.
"It is absolutely no use," he says, "Cleverbot is still playing dumb, and the police force has found no spying cameras unauthorized in Japan from Cleverbot." He sighs, and then turns around to play with his little dollies. Mello finishes off a chocolate bar, and then starts eating another one. And L is just sitting like he usually sits, feet on the chair and bent knees. All of them are in deep thought, trying to decipher the 'information' that Cleverbot has spoken. Finally, L acts. He picks up his cell and dials a number. While the phone on the other end is ringing, he sighs.
"I never thought it would come to this, but well, let us give it a try." He stops talking once he hearing the other end pick up. Mello and Near stare intently at him.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Light Yagami. Could you please come over for one moment….."