Dear Addison

I know… I don't regret it though, I do but I don't. I don't regret giving Adele the drug because it means she gets to be happy and so does Richard.. but I regret getting caught basically… Because I lost so much, my family, my trial and parts of my career.

What if I don't get her back Addison? What if the find her a better home with out a dark and twisty mom and a dad who walks out when things get hard. Who am I to stop her from having an amazing family?

Were you serious about wanting me to visit you sometime?

I remember Sam and Naomi…Sam is really good looking that's for sure…Ever thought of surrogacy? You will be an amazing mom. I'm glad you didn't let a guy take that away from you, you would have bitter towards him for your whole life.

I guess I should take my own advice… I just, I don't want to lose my husband… I can't let go and even if I could, it would all be a waste. I would have ruined a marriage only for it not to last. I have spent to much time investing in our relationship, I can't let it be all for nothing.

Meredith

Meredith,

I get that, I'm not sure that I wouldn't do the same thing but you still need to be careful with your career. Please.

You will get her back, do not give up Meredith. No matter what happens with Derek, Zola will have you and you love her. You are her mom, every person on earth wants the perfect mom and dad family but you know what I had that. I had a mom, a dad and older brother, tons of money and anything material things I wanted but behind all of that my dad had a lot of affairs, my brother is turning into my dad and my mom is a lesbian and had an affair with her assistant for years. My family was so broken and unloving that my mom killed herself. So Zola is lucky to have you a mom who loves her.

Yes, I'm serious. Take a break from Seattle whenever you want and come visit me, maybe we could actually spend sometime together being friends.

I have yet to find the right surrogate, they are all so weird like the last one I talked to said her favorite part of being a surrogate is that her last family let her keep the placenta, she buried it in the backyard… who does that?

My marriage to Derek was long over before he even left New York. Before he met you or I slept with Mark, it just took him falling in love you to make us both realize it. Don't waste your life away thinking about how to make yourself good enough for your marriage.

Addison

Dear Addison,

Derek asked me who I was emailing last night and when I said no one, he asked if I was having an affair. I laughed and told him I was emailing you… he was shocked and I don't think he likes it very much. But I don't care..

I am so sorry about your family Addison, I guess I'm not the only one with a crappy childhood….I always thought that if I had a mom and a dad , my life would be perfect, I guess I was wrong.

I'd really like to come to LA and visit… I'll let you know

That is really weird.. Who keeps a placenta? Have they all been that weird? If all else fails…. I would be your surrogate…you deserve to be a mom and I promise I don't want to keep the placenta…

I'm scared Addie... Derek and I are over and I know that but I'm scared to actually end it and then there's the risk of never getting Zola back with out Derek… How does everything go from being perfect one day to falling apart the next?

Meredith