Memory 2 – And So, Meguri Shiromeguri Gives A Genuine Confession. - I

Author's note –

Hello everybody, it's RXX reporting for duty. The last chapter was pretty unexpected, wasn't it? I know, I know you all were expecting Hikigaya in all his glory, conquering everyone and proving that even the mighty Haruno can fall in his charms. Alright, hold your horses let's talk- first come on, I have read 50 of fanfics of Oregairu on this site and most of them didn't come close to Hikigaya's actual character. That makes him a pain in the ass to write him. B) and the Most important, Hikigaya was never designed to get girls, he might have been designed to solved problems or live a day to day life passing on his genes in the process, but he was just not made for girls. Even the author admits this if it was not for the fact that he met Yukino in clubroom, heavy chance that he might have been a bachelor for his whole life. This is the beauty of life. His story is already over, let him sleep, let him do sex with Yukino..why do you want me to destroy such a relationship, huh? bitches. We will still see Hikigaya, heck we will see him many times having a verbal fight with our own MC, drinking coffee, insulting everyone together but get this right, his story is already over, for him, this story is an epilogue, for Haruno, it's a beginning/ Which leads us to C) Alright, let him tell you a secret, which is actually a no secret- Haruno was never designed to mingle either nor was she intended to have much purpose. The only reason I am writing this because I feel her pleasing to the eye, her story is too pitiful to me- that is a good point too. Haruno has problems which Hikigaya will want to run away from- Arrange Marriage, Property sharing, friendly feuds, family discontentment etc- do you really think hikigaya will help her without ruining something in the process? I am currently focusing on quality chapters not what you all want, also this section was severely lacking in OC fanfics. That's why I decided to write an Oregairu fanfiction from scratch, it's fucking hard finding the necessary plot holes but the plot is worth it. I had the context, I had the idea, why not start then?

So, take a chill pill and enjoy the grand opening. Meguri will not be coming in today's chapter, I intended too but it was too fucking long, so maybe next time.

Also plot hint: Zaika knows Meguri well, now you can let your mind race.

Also - Maximum word count per chapter will be 2100, not much more than that.

(Early Morning)

"Get up, Zaika."

I don't really want to. I just came home early morning at 5 A.M. Deprived of much-needed sleep, the last thing I want is someone waking me up at 7.

I scowl at my elder brother and bury my head under my pillow. Since I share a room adjacent to a twenty-three old "responsible" maniac, there's no escape except the little privacy a door and a lone pillow can give.

"Leave me alone, Onii-san," I say roughly through the pillow. "Just so you know I am in a holiday period right now."

I don't want to wake up, nor do I want to see my elder brother's face early in the morning. Looking at him reminds me that I am getting older too. He is 23, I am 21.

Just mind blowing, each year now feels like a one step closer to death; I know, I know – I am in my early twenties, should be something I should be happy about. No restraints, more freedom, more responsibilities.

Cool, people will say. But there is always a fear in the back of my mind that I am not utilizing my resources fully, I can do more, and I know I can achieve more. You will try; you will work hard….but what if you can't for some reason? You try but can't just achieve that level of "perfection"? This will eventually slowly turn into "regret".

Many of you will remember, in those days when we were kids. Teachers will always remark, "Think what you want to become in the future sincerely from now on, lest you get drown in the sea of regrets like others."

That sentence is partially true and untrue at the same time. Eventually, in your late ages, it starts feeling like a retirement party. You know you can do more, but everyone expects you to quit.

It's creepy when I was so small, I used to dream of getting older, living my own life and prove myself in front of my parents. That childhood and teenage seemed so…restricting and naive to me now. Now I realize this whole thing was an illusion.

I suddenly remember a phrase, which an old man told me when I was a kid playing in the park; little did I know that he was wise as well.

"Remember kid, live your present, learn from your past, look upon the future with iron conviction.

When you are young, you will find no freedom to do anything but no responsibilities as well. As you grow old, you will find full freedom but…full responsibilities as well."

These words just can't get any more accurate.

The more I think about it, the more dark clouds start to envelop me. Then it hits me knowing the fact that I will eventually have to wake up one day. I can't feign sleeping all the time nor I can run away from it.

I can't let myself stoop that low. I can't let myself succumb to that 'regret', even if I am the biggest pessimist in the world.

With this train of thought going in my head, miraculously my sleep starts to disappear. I realize I can't sleep anymore even if I try hard to do the same. I can sense an uncertain feeling pervading in me.

What is this feeling? Regret? Sorrow? Anxiety? Or fear?

Whatever it is, I don't like it at all.

Slowly, I open my eyes and let the light sink in.

I brace myself for what will be another hectic day and embrace this institution called "life".

I took a deep breath and looked towards the door.

I can hear Nii-sans constant yelling from behind.

"I'm not fucking with you, baby brother. Mother told me to wake you up so that you can have a "proper" breakfast for once with your family. Now, that you have come from the U.S. – It only makes more sense if you told us what you did there except Of course other than getting laid and being high all the time, I guess?"

My first instinct is to ignore him, but that never gets me anything but arguments, headaches, and more yelling.

"I am coming." I marched towards the door and opened it.

What welcomed me was the image of a..man in an office suite.

There he comes, if you can ignore his rubbish talk in the back of your head. He is pretty much a guy who should work in films. I mean, he is pretty tall (6' 1"), has those wise eyes – you know Itachi Uchiha from Naruto, right? Yeah, that guy's eyes. He is pretty muscular, unlike me.

People say we look kind of similar- I don't know how that is true though. My height is about average, I guess (5' 9"), but we have the same eyes- mine just looks lazier on sight. People say, my pessimistic side has eroded me. Not that I care anyway, I am pretty frail. Unlike him though, I keep my hair long which reaches to the collarbone and I have a fashion sense. Thus, I am in my own league which is not too bad, it seems.

"Rise and shine, buttercup." Nee-san looked at me from up to down and then smiled at me as if he knew one of my bloody secrets.

"Nee-san, if you didn't know previously or could have forgotten for absurd reasons, then I will like to enlighten you once again that (A) I went to America to study and (B) To do your errands. I will have been delighted to grab some girls and booze if you weren't the one calling me every damn minute." I mumbled as I cleaned my bedroom.

"Of course, I knew about that. I even knew that you got your breakup last night; not mentioning the fact that you drank 4 cans of MAXX coffee and skulled 3 beers. I even know that somewhere along the line coming here you got in a race breaking your Lambo. Also, that you waited for your girl until she, you know fooled you. Baby brother, now you are without a ride or a girl or money. Back to square one, you look so cute when you are angry."

My jaws dropped to the ground as I looked at him blabbering non-stop nonchalantly. Even though I knew all of these events did take place yesterday while I was coming back to Chiba.

Was privacy too much to ask for? I take my pillow and chuck it across the room. It's accurate but he catches it before it reaches him.

"THE HECK, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT!?" I screamed. I thought I hid all the evidence pretty well.

He chuckled as he went outside the room, "There is always a heaven above heaven and a man beyond man. You are not the only one who can read people, you know. Behold, my induction powers- Observation tells me that you came last.."

"All right, that's enough," I mumbled as I closed the door in his face.

I sighed as I prepared to go for a wash. This is going to be a long day, it seems.

What an unpleasant morning.

The clear weather skies were accompanied with a chilly wind that softly shook the windows. The room was a relaxing space that invited napping temptations.

Really, what an unpleasant morning to be using this precious time in family meetings instead of snuggling up on my bed.

I looked in the mirror with half-awake eyes. Reflected every time was me.

…Hmph, the same as always. Indeed, I was as unchanging as ever to the point that it was sort of anti-climactic and boring.

My mom carried the hot pot over to the dining table gently while making no sound. It seems to be silent and being patient was in my family genes.

But, then again my mom had always been like that. Gentle like the wind, kind to the heart but strict and wise to her family. She had all the qualities of a housewife but if that was not enough, she also helps my dad in his hectic jobs.

"Alright, you two can start eating now." My mom told while looking at both of us with a smile after she prepared the dishes.

I naturally complied after all eating was something that I never got tired of.

"Itadakimasu."

"Thanks for the food."

Ha, I missed this in America. Mom's food is always the best.

I blew my miso soup to cool it down since I was the owner of a pretty sensitive tongue. When I looked at my mom, our eyes met.

"Hey, where is Dad?"

Before she could reply, my brother on the sidelines started speaking while poking at his salads with the chopstick.

"He left before you even went to the washroom. I told you to come early you know, you never listen to us, much less me. Not that I care, he told me to check up on you a bit, and of course, give his regards. He will talk with you after coming back it seems. He means well, by the way."

These words didn't fit truly brotherly to me. But then again, I guess I was in the wrong here.

Going to America for 2 years was a total paradigm shift for my family, much less me. It was unexpected, unplanned and unassumed.

But, then I guess things like this keeps happening in life to make you take decisions like this. For me, it was when I was at Sobu High School giving my final year. I got a designated school recommendation for a university in America. I saw the chance, I wanted to escape thus I jumped on the bandwagon.

Initially, everyone was against me. But after using my 242 skills, I managed to somehow convince them. Even though, it was not by any means a smooth process.

"I was never the one to follow rules unlike you, brother dearest," I replied nonchalantly.

I think my words somehow managed to tick him off. Because he suddenly started to coolly laughed and looked at me directly in my eyes, not any lower than that. His jet black eye pupils getting enlarged turning cold as if he can right see through me. I think he is angry, I know this because I get like this too when I get angry too. We are siblings after all. But if he thinks he can intimidate me without using his limbs, he is gravely mistaken. He can see through and intimidate people, fuck so can I. At the end of the day, we are both normal rotten human beings after all.

I looked at him and his body with the same amount of concentration he is looking at me. There must be something in his body that can act as a pressure point…or..maybe in the room.

Suddenly, he started opened his mouth to speak. Fuck, did he found something?

"You were never the one to follow anything, brother. Also…"

"STOP, YOU TWO! ARATA, ZAIKA! I TOLD YOU TO EAT, THAT SHOULD FUCKING PERFECTLY MEAN, YOU SHOULD EAT! DO I HAVE TO TEACH YOU THAT IN OTHER WAY? "

"No, Madame."

"Sorry, Madame."

God, I got scared for a second. This side of mom only appears once in a full moon, after all, she was a pretty violent girl before she got married. I heard dad changed her; yeah, right it was a love story. Not a cliché one though, It was filled with ups and downs it seemed from the narration.

You might be thinking that the whole family is screwed up in one way or another and chances are that you might be right.

Mom took a deep breath and then exhaled. She looked at us and then smiled again.

Looks like she gave up and has come back to the mortal world back, she tied her long hair into ponytails once again.

I looked at my brother. Looks like he got a scare too, we both looked at each other then laughed.

Mom then followed too before speaking.

"Yeah, this feels more like a family now. Really, you two are so troublesome. You are both in your 20's for god sake, stop acting like kids. Can't you at least have some reflection on what you do? Sometimes, I wonder if it would have been better if one of you were a girl, but then again. She would also have been much like you, so not much point in that as well. Look, whatever the choice Zaika took at that time, was I know harsh and unexpected. But I believe it was not easy for him as well. Even then, he continued to hold it. That was enough for us, at least to me. Now he is here, with us, with you, together and that's what it matters. It would do me no good if one of you were to get lost from me- I had loved you two too much if something like that were to happen. Be together, be happy alright?"

I feel like I am blushing right now. What is this warm shit I am feeling right now?

I can see that brother is trying his best to hide his emotions but is failing at it very poorly.

Truly, this is one of the few genuine things one will ever get in one's life.

I knew I was missing something back then there. No matter how much I wanted to shackle it off, no matter how many friends I made there, no matter how much I liked the food there.

I was missing something.

Now, I feel complete.

Shaking off all the emotions I will have to say this. She deserves to know it, I can't hide this, and my heart knows what to do better.

"Mom, I missed you."

She patted my head gently, which was just like her. She looked at me with those kind eyes of hers and smiled. I can see a tear in the corner of her eye. Was it for me? Was it for everyone? Or was it for someone?

She stood in that position for a while before standing up again and looking at the two of us with a smirk. It brought promises- promises that everything will be better from now on.

"Well, Welcome Home, Zaika Hideyo. Welcome back to Chiba, Japan."

I smiled. I looked at my brother he was smiling too, implying the same meaning as mothers.

"Yeah, good to see you again, baby brother. "

Father should be smiling too.

Yeah, back to square one, I like it. Time to start once again from where I left off,

Let's continue from where I couldn't back then, where I felt lost back then.

Let the Reloading begin.

[

/Oregairu: Reloading…./

Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabukome wa Machigatteiru: Reloading…./ ]]

Character Sketch: Arata Hideyo (Alternative to Haruno but more calculative and knows how to use his cards.)

Prodigal Student, Master Philosopher, Honoured Student, Singer, Artist among many other talents. Arata Hideyo is a man of all of these things and a shining beacon even among his colleagues. Born in a silver spoon, he is the type of guy who doesn't give up until the spoon has changed to gold. Loved by family and friends, respected by many but envied by none because those who envied him always get the short end of the stick for some reason (his eye? Remember). Born ambitious, obtaining whatever he wants, loyal and loving only to his family and people he loves with but a staunch rival to his enemies. Arata is currently busy handling and managing his father's estates and making its firms grow. At the same time, looking for opportunities wherever he may chance upon it.

But his ambition is not driven by money or power rather in his own words, "Unlike my brother, I like to make myself continuously useful. Just sitting in a room thinking about how the world is flat or round is just not the kind of thing for me. Give me some papers, show me a man and watch how the money will quickly flow through him. Someday I will find something much more productive, fun and adventurous. I will then leave this in dust too. Until then, it is helping my family get an extra loaf of bread, my baby brother can live his life own way, my mother is happy, father is proud. What do I need more then?"

Alright, time for mind jugglers: Can you find any easter eggs, abstractions, references in the past few chapters? I wonder how many things you can find because I hid many things. Do some treasure hunting. Let me know if you can.