(Chapter Three)

(Three Days Later)

Anna Kimball met her daughter in the airport terminal with open arms. "Oh, honey. Look at you…your little tummy. You look so cute." She smiled. Except for a few recent photos, she hadn't seen her daughter since she became pregnant.

"Thanks. But I know you're just being kind. That was a long flight, and I feel tired, and I know I look tired…not cute."

"Aww, you do look a little tired. Let's get your luggage and be on our way."

During the ride to Anna's home, Dee Dee was quiet, and her mother kept the small-talk to a minimum. Dee Dee was grateful, as she assumed her mother would question her about Alex and the separation all the way home.

Once inside Anna's home, she and Dee Dee put away the luggage and sat in the den to talk and have a small snack.

"Do you think Alex will call you anytime soon?" Anna questioned.

"I doubt it. He wasn't too keen on the idea of my coming here to LA, and he's pretty angry with me. I'm also angry with him." Dee Dee sighed.

"He's afraid that you won't come back to him…that you'll stay here with Rick."

"I know."

"How do you really feel about Rick? I know you loved him before you married Alex. You still love him, don't you?" Anna waited for her daughter to become defensive.

"I love him, mom. I really do. But I also love Alex, and I want our marriage to work. It's supposed to be for better or for worse, but I don't think Alex sees it that way. I'm willing to go to counseling, but Alex isn't. If only he would go, I'm sure we could work things out. He'd know that I'm not trying to leave him for Rick. I just want to have my friendship with him like always. Why can't Alex understand that?" Dee Dee furrowed her brow. "What is it going to take?"

"Maybe counseling will help. You really need it for yourself." Anna stated.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…if you're not completely over Rick, how can you expect your marriage to work?"

"Mom, I know I said I love Rick, but I'm not the one with the bigger problem." Dee Dee, on the defensive, stood and placed her hands on her hips. "Alex is the one with the bigger problem. Not me. He spends most of his time working and traveling the globe because of it. He neglects me, and I think he'll neglect our child as well. It's not fair."

"You both have a problem. You can admit to me that you love Rick, but you can't admit it to Alex. He's asked you, but you've denied it. You're living a lie, Dee Dee."

"Why are you doing this?" Dee Dee furrowed her brow even more.

"Because I love you, sweetie. I want you to face the whole truth about your feelings. I know that you and Rick were the best of friends for years, and then it turned into something more…something so very special. And then, you let your fears of losing him to his job get in the way, so you broke up. I know you were hurting over Rick when Alex came back. Rick was hurting over you, too. I know that it practically killed him to see you marry Alex."

Dee Dee wondered just what her mother knew of Rick's feelings. She moved back to the sofa and sat down. "Did Rick say something to you about my marrying Alex?"

Anna hesitated. She remembered she'd never promised Rick that she wouldn't tell Dee Dee the truth. "Yes, he did."

Dee Dee tried to form the word 'what', but it was caught in her throat.

"Do you want to know what he said?" Anna felt a twinge of mischief at play, though it really wasn't her intent.

"I…well…" Dee Dee took a deep breath. "I guess so."

"He came to see me the day after your first anniversary. He hadn't heard from you in a couple of weeks, and he was worried. We sat and talked for quite a while. He told me how afraid you were of losing another husband in the line of duty, and that you couldn't handle it. He said that he knew you were becoming even more afraid of the thought every day. He knew that you worried about losing him while you two worked together, while you were dating, and he knew that if you two married, you couldn't stand worrying about losing a second husband due to his job." Anna sighed and paused for a second when she noticed the distraught look on her daughter's face. "Dee Dee. You weren't the only one who was afraid. Rick was afraid he was going to lose you to another man. When Alex came back…"

"He lost me." Dee Dee said softly.

"Yes. And it hurt him so badly, Dee Dee. He said he tried everything to convince you to take a chance with him, but then he began to realize that if you did, and if something happened to him, he'd be the one to blame for putting you through misery again. So, he knew he had to let you go."

Dee Dee felt bad for Rick. She'd never want to hurt him, but it was obvious that she'd done so more than once…by breaking up their relationship, and by marrying Alex so soon afterward.

"I know you're still in love with Rick, Dee Dee. And I know he's still in love with you. You two are…were so good together. I always hoped you'd push your fears aside and marry him. But, I knew that when Alex came back, you saw a chance to add more to the relationship you had with him in the past. I saw that opportunity as a means to end your temptation to marry Rick. I know he's the one you truly wanted as your husband."

Dee Dee sighed. It was fairly hard to swallow, but she knew that her mother was right. She felt ashamed at knowing how she wanted Alex to help her get past Rick. "But I did fall in love with Alex."

"Was the love genuine? Did you fall madly, deeply, truly in love with him?"

Dee Dee was quiet and fiddled with her wedding ring. She opened her mouth twice to speak; failing each time.

"I already know the answer." Anna admitted. "But I think it's best you come to grips with it and confess."

Suddenly Dee Dee stood up and walked to the window. "You just don't understand. It's not that simple."

Anna walked over to her daughter. "Love is never simple. And I do understand." She placed her hand on Dee Dee's shoulder. "I know you have love for your husband, but it's not as strong as it should be. It's not as strong as the love you have for Rick."

Dee Dee sighed in distress. "Why does it have to be like this?" Feeling embarrassed and confused, she turned to face her mother. "I do love Alex, mom. We're about to have our first child together, but…I still love Rick. I love him so very much, and I feel so bad for having these feelings." She sat down with tears in her eyes and placed her hands on her stomach. "Why can't I be happy with what I hoped for? I wanted to get married again and to have a family."

"Because you hurried yourself into it." Anna sat beside her daughter. "I'm not saying that you deserve to be unhappy. I think if you'd have taken things a bit slower, you may have been able to sort out your feelings for both Rick and Alex."

Dee Dee pursed her lips and silently agreed with her mother.

"I know you don't want to betray Alex." Anna began. "But, I think you owe it to yourself, and to Rick and Alex to let them know where your heart truly lies. If it means that you and Alex will be pulled further apart, then so be it. But you might find that it'll bring you two closer. Take this time away from him to work on getting things in order."

Dee Dee nodded with a sniffle. "You're right. And I was hoping to come here and get my thoughts together. I just don't know where to start."

"It'll come to you." Anna put her arm around her daughter and placed a gentle kiss on her temple. "I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, but it'll get better."

Later in the night, Dee Dee had a restless sleep. Her thoughts and dreams were focused on the two men she loved, and how she would try and explain her true feelings to both. It was nearly 3am when she woke up for the fourth time and decided to go outside for some fresh air. She put on her robe and slippers and quietly headed downstairs and to the patio in the back. She curled up on the chaise and concentrated on the wafting aroma of the roses in their flower bed. "Well, at least the roses are comfortable in their bed." She joked to herself.

After a few moments, Anna walked out onto the patio. "I thought I heard you moving about upstairs. You didn't answer when I called, so I came down to look for you." She sat on a chair across from Dee Dee. "Are you okay?"

"I couldn't sleep. I wasn't up for TV, and I thought some fresh air would help."

"Can I get anything for you?"

"No, I don't think so. I just want to stay out here for a while." Dee Dee answered quietly.

Anna wouldn't pressure her to talk, so she decided to return to bed. "Wake me if you need me, okay?"

"I will."

Anna stepped inside and quickly returned with a pillow and a chenille throw from the sofa in the den. "I thought you could use these." She placed the pillow behind Dee Dee's head and then placed the throw over her legs. "Don't stay out here all night. You might get chilled and catch a cold." She kissed Dee Dee's forehead.

"Thanks, mom." Dee Dee smiled at hearing her mom "being a mom". The two were never really as close as Dee Dee had wanted, but she did appreciate the times when her mother showed that she truly did love her.

Closing her eyes, she could feel herself relaxing as the roses and the soft breeze offered their assistance in easing her tension. She felt herself shiver from a cool breeze, and she was surprised to see that the sun was just about to come up, and that she'd been asleep for quite some time. She slowly pulled herself up and returned to her room. Within minutes, she was sleeping as peacefully as she had been on the patio chaise.

It was half past noon before Dee Dee's eyes fluttered open. She was surprised at how late it was, but grateful that the hours of sleep weren't interrupted. She showered and dressed and went downstairs for a bite to eat. She found a note from her mother on the kitchen counter.

Dee Dee,

I've gone to lunch with friends. I wanted you to join us, but you were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to disturb you. If you need me, you can call my car phone or try my pager.

Love you,

Mom

After her meal, Dee Dee settled in front of the TV. As she flipped through the TV Guide, she was reminded of some of the great shows, especially the movies she'd missed while in London. When she saw a listing for Miami Vice, she couldn't help but think of how Rick would kid her about liking Sonny Crockett. She smiled at the thought, and wondered what Rick was up to at the moment. "There's only one way to find out." She said aloud. Taking a deep breath to gain a boost of courage, she quickly dialed the number to his desk at work.

"Hello, this is Hunter."

Dee Dee's nerves faltered for a quick second, but she shook it off. "Hi, Hunter. It's me."

"Hey." Rick began to smile "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I just felt like calling. Oh, and to tell you that you can take me out to dinner tomorrow night."

"Sure, I'll hop on a plane, and scoot on over to London. Give me about a half an hour." He laughed.

"You're a real comedian, ya know?" Dee Dee laughed. "I'll have you know that you could actually see me within a half hour if you wanted. I'm in town."

"What? Really?" Rick sat up straighter with excitement. "When did you get in?"

"Yesterday. I'm staying at my mom's."

"Well, then…I guess I can take you to dinner." Rick answered happily. He suddenly realized that Dee Dee said that she was staying at her mother's; possibly meaning that her husband wasn't with her. "Did Alex come, too?"

"No. He's away on business. It's just me and my budding Buddha belly." She laughed softly.

"Well, it'll be great to see you again." Rick smiled again. "Are you sure you don't want to go out tonight?"

"I appreciate the offer, but I'm sure. I'm still a little tired from the trip."

"Oh, I'm sure you are." Rick answered sympathetically. "Is there anything I can do for you? Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm okay, thanks. After a few more hours of sleep, I'll be fine."

"Sounds good."

"Well, I'm sure you've got loads of work to do." Dee Dee began. "I don't want to keep you from it, so I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay." Rick hated to hang up, but knew that he did need to continue his work, and to also let Dee Dee get some rest. "How about I pick you up at seven tomorrow night?"

"That'll be fine. I'm really looking forward to seeing you, Rick. I really am."

Rick noticed a waver in Dee Dee's voice. "Are you sure you're okay? If you need to talk to me now, I'll put this stuff on hold." He crinkled his brow in anticipation.

Dee Dee pursed her lips nervously before answering. "Yeah, I'm okay. And the talk can wait."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure. I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Okay, then. Go get some rest."

"I will. Bye."

"Bye."

After hanging up, Rick let his hand rest on the phone receiver for a few seconds as he wondered what was on Dee Dee's mind. He couldn't shake the fact of her sounding slightly upset, and not just tired, and that Alex was away on business…again.

(Continued...)