*I wanted this to be as close to something that would actually happen on the show as possible. Tell me if I even came CLOSE.

*I don't own Glee. If I did it would be porn :/

Gay Boys Love Balls

"You have GOT to be kidding me with this," said Kurt, left eyebrow raised several inches above the right, arms and legs crossed, starring in disbelief at Blaine. The couple sat across from one another at their usual table at the Lima Bean, drinking iced coffees since it was still relatively warm out.

"Why would I joke about it? Kurt, you know how much I like football," Blaine said sipping his iced Caffè Americano calmly.

"Yes but…but…I thought you liked watching football! I didn't know you actually had any interest in playing." Kurt fiddled with the lid of his iced Peppermint Mocha, trying to avoid looking directly at Blaine.

"Well, we didn't actually have a team at Dalton or I would have. Besides, what's the big deal? All the guys in glee club are on the football team. And don't say 'except me' because I know for a fact you were on it your sophomore year." Blaine looked up, grinning wickedly at Kurt who choked a little on his mocha.

"Who-? Finn," snarled Kurt, knuckles whitening in a fist. He knew he shouldn't have left him and Blaine alone together while he got ready for their date. Dangerous things were discussed. Things like his stint on the football team, for example.

"Look, tryouts are in a couple days, I'm just gonna go out and see how I stack up to the other guys ok? You can just hope that I'm awful and don't make the team. However," he said, grabbing Kurt's hand is his and tracing circles on the back of it with his thumb, "it would mean a lot to me if you were out there, cheering me on."

"Hmmm, and why on earth would I do that?" Kurt asked, unable to keep from smiling as Blaine's thumb on his hand sent little shivers up and down his arm.

"Well," said Blaine, cocking his head just slightly and lowering his gaze from Kurt's, "you were on the cheerleading squad for awhile too, weren't you?" He couldn't help but smirk as he looked up into Kurt's entirely un-amused face.

"I hope Finn enjoys doing dishes as much as he does talking about other people's business with their significant others because he's totally doing my share for the next two weeks at least." Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand as he laughed.

"Don't be mad at Finn, I would've found out eventually. But that's not the point. The point is, try outs are on Thursday, just in case you want to come."

"Blaine, did you ever think that it might not be safe for you to join the football team?" Kurt looked at him seriously.

"Oh, come on. I know I'm short but I can take a hit just as well as any other-"

"No! That's not what I mean. I'm not worried about the opposing team. I'm- I'm worried about our team." Kurt looked at Blaine meaningfully, emphasizing his words so that Blaine knew he was being absolutely 100% serious.

"Kurt, I'll be perfectly safe. Between Finn, Sam, Puck, Mike, Artie, and Karofsky no one will be able to get at me with anything more aggressive than a water bottle. Besides, maybe it'll actually end up helping! They'll be able to see that a gay guy can play football just as well as a straight one. Hopefully." Blaine chuckled at himself and Kurt smiled pityingly at him.

"Just…be careful ok?" Kurt said as they both rose from their seats and walked towards the front door together. Blaine linked their hands together as they walked, swinging them slightly and causing Kurt to grim at him. "If you get hurt I'll… Just don't get hurt, ok?"

They had reached the car by this point and Blaine walked to the tiny walking space between the next car over and the passenger side, moving to open the door for Kurt and instead grabbed him by the waist and held him against the side of his navy Volvo. Kurt opened his mouth to make a noise of surprise but Blaine silenced it, capturing it in a kiss that made all of Kurt's muscles turn to noodles. He responded enthusiastically, wrapping both arms around Blaine's neck as the latter's hands held the small of his back. When they broke apart Blaine leaned his forehead against Kurt's.

"If I promise to stay as safe as possible, can I please play football with the big kids?" Kurt laughed softly and ran his hand along Blaine's jaw. It was so perfect, so whole. What would he do if he had to look at it in broken tatters? What would he do if he saw the usually pristine face covered in scrapes and bruises? Just the thought of it made him want to vomit and scream and rip things apart. So instead, he looked at the face as it was now; pleading, like a child's.

"You do whatever makes you happy," sighed Kurt in resignation. "And if you get hurt, I promise to be there to hold 'I told you so' over your head forever; or just as soon as I nurse you back to health." Blaine laughed and gave him another quick kiss before opening the passenger seat for Kurt to slip in.

"What's your name, son? I do not recall seeing you on my team last year," said Coach Beiste as she approached Blaine, who was fully clothed in tryout garb and three to four inches shorter than the rest of the guys there.

"Blaine Anderson, Coach. I transferred here from Dalton Academy this year." Blaine flashed her a large, but still genuine, smile. He had heard from all of the other guys what a decent person (not to mention a great coach) she was, and he had a feeling that if he made it on the team, he would like her too.

"Dalton, huh?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "Not a whole lot of opportunity for playing football there, if I'm correct."

"Just another one of the many wonderful things about McKinley, Coach," laughed Blaine.

"Well, son, which sport did you play at Dalton? I know they have well-ranked soccer and swim teams. On either of those by any chance?" Beiste looked down at him expectantly.

"No, Coach, I'm afraid not. I was actually part of the glee club, the Warblers. With Kurt." Blaine pointed up to the stands where an immaculately dressed, pale, slender figure sat between a large black girl and a small tan one who appeared to be talking animatedly. The pale boy in the stands gave a tiny wave as he noticed them looking in his direction, and Blaine waved back.

"Of course you were," said Beiste, clapping him on the shoulder and walking away. So this was the boy Will had mentioned, the one with the "amazing" voice; the boyfriend of last year's Prom Queen. She had to admit, the kid had balls. It took a lot of nerve to walk into a new school, out and proud, and tryout for the football team. She just hoped that, for his sake, he could play the game.

Kurt sat with Rachel and Mercedes in the bleachers beside the field, twisting his hands in his laps nervously as they discussed their song choice for that week's glee assignment.

"Kurt. Kurt. KURT." Kurt jumped, looking up at Rachel, who had called his name, wrenching himself free of his thoughts.

"Hmmm?" He hummed, looking back at the football field. It was empty, the team was evidently still in the locker room. Every minute Blaine didn't emerge from those doors Kurt drew worse and worse conclusions; picturing him in a ball on floor, being kicked repeatedly in the stomach, or slammed up against locker after locker. The guys and Karofsky had promised to protect him, but six of them against a full football team? The odds weren't good.

Finally, the doors opened and a stream of burly teenage boys rushed out of them. Kurt's eyes scanned the pack frantically for Blaine. He found him, a good few inches shorter than everyone around him, running alongside Puck and Sam, helmet under his arm. Kurt starred for a second; he had forgotten that football pants were made primarily of spandex.

'No. Focus. Look at his face. His face,' Kurt thought as the already established team went to the middle of the field to begin warming up and the tryouts formed a line facing Kurt's bleachers. Blaine looked up at them, catching Kurt's eye and sending him a dazzlingly smile.

"He's genuinely excited about this!" said Kurt, causing Mercedes and Rachel to look at him in surprise.

"I know it doesn't always seem like it, babe, but your boyfriend is, in fact, a boy," said Mercedes, placing an understanding hand on Kurt's shoulder.

"So am I!" said Kurt exasperatedly. "That's kind of the foundation of our entire relationship!" The girls laughed as Kurt turned back to face the football field and Blaine.

"Oh, come on Kurt. Having a boyfriend on the football team is hot! And, take it from us," she said pointing to herself and Mercedes, "football helps them take out their innate male requisite to hit things and compete against other males. It also gives them a chance to take out their anger in channeled and prolific manner. It's healthy." Mercedes nodded in agreement. Rachel and Kurt were the only ones who knew about her and Sam, and it was nice being able to talk about him as her 'boyfriend' every once and awhile.

Kurt had continued looking at Blaine throughout all of this. Coach Beiste had approached him and Blaine was of course wearing his most charming smile and talking animatedly to her. As he watched, he saw him point up at the bleachers in his direction. Beiste turned to look at them, and Kurt gave a tiny wave, which Blaine reciprocated. He looked so happy. How could anything that made Blaine so happy be bad?

"Maybe you're right," sighed Kurt. Rachel and Mercedes gave him little pats on the back and nodded in agreement. Just then, Coach Beiste blew her whistle and the new recruits took to the field at a jog.

A/N—Sorry, this is kind of a segway piece for a the greater plot, which I have finally formulated! Mostly… Anyway, just bear with me on this one because I think I'm going to be getting really into it after this. Review! Tell me what you think happen/ what you want to see happen! Tell me what you think of how I'm writing the characters so far! Tell me anything!