"I don't even know where we are going Kyu." She was shoving me into my car, frantically telling me to hurry up.
"Girls won't come to you, so you gotta go to the girls." I started up the car while she got in the passenger seat.
"What's the most popular bar in town?" I thought about my answer carefully, because I didn't know what she would throw at me.
"I don't drink much so…" and in comes a balled up piece of paper.
"Look, how am I supposed to know this shit?!" She chuckled, like I was some dog she pretended to throw the ball to.
"It was a trick question, no one is out drinking at a bar at twelve thirty in the afternoon. That's why you only gotta a paper ball." She opened up her…fairy phone?
"What are you looking up?" She started scrolling through her phone at a rapid pace. Almost like she was barely even reading what was on the screen.
"Popping places in this town. Since obviously you wouldn't know of any." I shrugged my shoulders and agreed. She stopped scrolling, and then asked me
"Well you hungry?"
She had me drive to a hometown panini joint. On the way there she told me fast food places are never good because it shows 'weakness of the wallet.' I asked her why paninis and she told me she wanted to find out two things.
"What two things?"
"Your opinion on giiiiiirls. With a 'z' at the end. Plus, if their chicken salad is as good as this review says it is."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Umm….I really like a good chicken salad? Duh?"
"No, no, the 'girls' thing. What's a giiirl with a z?"
"Oh, right, right."
She pulled out a chart from…somewhere (again)….and it pictured a highly detailed stick figure. One of those details being a tic-tac-toe game in the corner in which X barely won.
"A giiirl is the default. Yoga pants, key chain lanyard, iced coffee, nine times out of ten hair in a bun, and drives either a Honda or a Nissan. You know. A giiiiiiiirl." Now that she mentioned it, I realized one of my biggest turn-offs.
"Oh, like the ones whose personalities they borrowed from a magazine?" Kyu gestured me a high-five.
"Hey, you got it! And you even have a sense of humor. Albeit a very spiteful one…but humor nonetheless." I slapped her hand, and she put away thechart…..somewhere (I hope it isn't a different somewhere because I can barely keep track at this point).
"Well I can already tell you aren't for giiiiirls so that's a huge check off the list. But I still want a sandwich so we will talk inside."
We got out of the car, and started walking towards the store. But after I heard her door slam, I had a sudden thought.
"So, uh….Kyu?"
"What's up?"
"Can other people see you?"
"Hmmmm…..I had a phrase for this…..crap, it was clever too….." I saw her bite her thumb, struggling to remember. Meanwhile I saw people passing us by, and I couldn't help but get paranoid they thought I was waiting for a reply from either the air or a pink Peter Pan character.
"Damn, I can't remember. But nonetheless, only if I want them to."
"So people can only see you if you want them to?"
"Yup. Pretty cool huh?" She put her hand next to her mouth, gesturing what she was about to say was a secret.
"Works great for peeping, I'll tell you what."
"That's…..well besides the point. So how do you keep track of everyone you want to see and not see you?"
"It's not that I keep track of them, I just…uh…." I can see her yet again struggle for an answer.
"Fuck you and your questions Axe, jeez. Instead of arguing in the parking lot, I want food!" She slapped my shoulder, hard, and we got walking again.
"Oh, by the way, you are gonna have to order for me."
"That shouldn't be a problem."
"I wouldn't say that mister…"