Everything belongs to whoever actually made it!

Now it was time for what Harry had really been dreading: class.

As soon as they walked into the defense against the dark arts classroom, the annoying little cough of Umbridge's came from the other end of the room, "Mr Dragneel, what do you think you're wearing?"

"My scarf." Natsu answered simply.

Lucy, Harry's temporary desk partner, slid under her desk. He didn't ask her why, he'd given up questioning the odd behavior of Fairy Tail yesterday.

"That scarf is not a part of the dress code."

In reply, Natsu sat down with his hands behind his head and his feet on the desk.

"I will have to confiscate it."

Suddenly Natsu was standing, his snarling face only inches away from her simpering smile. She extended her hand like she actually expected him to hand it over. Natsu smiled and, with one swift punch, sent her flying through the window.

The Fairies cheered and pulled various activities out from under their desks. Lucy came out from under her desk with a big box of cupcakes a barrel of something Hermione would definitely not approve of.

"Did you know that would happen?" Harry asked, still a bit stunned.

Fairy Tail never did joint classes with the other houses, now he had an idea as to why.

She shrugged and bit into a cupcake, "something like it generally does, so this time I brought snacks."

"Cupcakes are manly!"

"That's Elfman," Lucy whispered to him, pointing at the muscular guy with white hair and a scar over one eye, "and those are his sisters, Lisanna and Mirajane," she pointed at the two white haired girls who were chatting with the brunette in the bikini. "And Cana is our house's biggest drinker." Lucy continued pointing out students and explaining the cliques like Team Shadow Gear, Team Natsu, the Thunder Legion, Sabertooth which used to be an elitist club in Slytherin until 'complicated stuff' happened and they became a Fairy Tail clique, and Crime Sorcière which was comprised of students who'd either been or been sentenced to Azkaban at some point.

Just as Harry decided to have a cupcake, Umbridge stormed back into the classroom; she was soaking wet and had a fish in her pocket. Happy cheered and grabbed it.

"Detention!" She screeched.

Happy froze, the fish tail sticking out of his mouth, "I figured you weren't gonna eat it." He said sadly, offering her the skeleton.

"All of you have detention for the rest of the month!"

Levi pulled a schedule from her pocket and scanned it, "we're not free for the next six months. I bet we could squeeze you in next year–"

"Unless something comes up." Lucy added.

"Right, you never know with natural disaster and impending wars–"

"And parties–" Cana added.

"And picnics–" was Erza's contribution.

"And weddings–" Juvia said dreamily.

"No!"

"But Gray-sama!"

"No!"

"Juvia is so sad!" She started sobbing.

"Gray, you jerk!"

"You made her cry!"

"You're always making girls cry!"

"You're worse than Loke!"

A guy in a suit appeared in a flash of golden light and scooped Lucy off her feet. "You called, my love?"

"No! I'm not your love! Put me down!" She pummeled on his chest.

"In loooooove!"

"We are not! Forced closure!" She waved a gold key in front of her face and Loke disappeared. Lucy fell on the ground with a splash. Only then did Harry realize that Juvia's tears were slowly flooding the room.

Gajeel jumped on a desk and shouted for Gray to do something before he started to rust.

During all this, Umbridge's face had been getting redder and redder. "Enough! Silence! All of you! I will have order!" She pulled out her wand and started throwing hexes at them.

Harry clambered onto one of the desks that was now serving as lifeboats in the impromptu swimming pool of a room. "Does stuff like this always happen in Fairy Tail?"

"You haven't seen the half of it." Lucy answered sadly.

"You'd think such a crazy house would have a bigger impact on the wizarding world, like you guys would've stopped Voldemort before the first war or something."

"I know right?"

Happy flew over and dropped a lampshade on Harry's head.

"Happy, what did I say about the fourth wall?" She shouted, waving her arms trying to catch to cat who was flying circles over her.

"Lucy, quit rocking the boat!"

"I'm not the one rocking the boat! That kitty is the one making the readers wonder if there is any consistent narrative or actual plot on this story!"

"No, you're actually," at that point, Lucy had disturbed the balance of their desk-boat too much and they were both dumped in the water, "rocking the boat."

"Oh, sorry."

"Gray, do something!" Lucy shouted.

Juvia stopped sobbing and turned on Lucy with an evil glint in her eye. "Romantic rival! You thought you could make a move on Gray-sama while Juvia wasn't looking, huh?"

"No! No! No!"

"Water slicer!"

Lucy screamed and ducked under the water to avoid the razor jets of water coming at her head.

Unfortunately, Harry was too slow to completely dodge the water slicer and narrowly missed having his head sliced off. His hair, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. He was now sporting the latest in 'nearly got decaptitated' hairstyles.

"Open, gate of the water bearer, Aquarius!"

A mermaid with blue hair and a large, golden urn appeared in a flash of golden light. "I thought I told you not to call me for the rest of the month, girl!"

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! It's just–"

"I was in the middle of a date with my boyfriend. My boyfriend."

"No need to say it twice! Could you please–"

"Tch. If you weren't so rude, maybe you could get a boyfriend."

"What did you just say?"

"If you weren't so rude, maybe you could get a boyfriend."

"No need to say it twice!"

Aquarius glared at Lucy and raised her urn. Harry only had time to think, something really bad is going to happen, before a massive tidal wave washed him and everyone and everything else out of the window and into the Black Lake.

"Don't call me again for another two weeks, I'm going on a trip with my boyfriend. My boyfriend."

"Stop repeating boyfriend!"

Aquarius rolled her eyes and disappeared in a flash of golden light.

Harry and the others swam to shore and tried to avoid Natsu's 'help' in getting dry.

"Look's like we have a free period now!" Lucy said brightly.

"Library!" Levi cheered and ran off, closely followed by Jet and Droy who were cheering 'library' again and again.

Lucy grabbed him, Erza, Gray, Natsu, and Wendy and ran after Levi.

He was dragged all the way to the library, where he was greeted by the identical death glares of Hermione and Madam Pince.

Ginny came up behind the terrifying women, "merlin, Harry! What happened? You've haven't been in Fairy Tail a whole yet and you're already soaking wet, covered in seaweed, your clothes are burnt, and you hair looks like someone attacked you with a chainsaw!"

"You don't know Fairy Tail." Harry said wearily, launching into an explanation of everything that had happened so far.

Hello, beautiful people!

I have to cut this one short cause I'm going to visit family a few states away, on the same note, I'll be totally out of wifi range for maybe a week, so no updates or anything.

Until next time!

—XOXO your friendly neighborhood kumquat