Previously;

"You're a bastard Dimitri Belikov. A bastard!" Viktoria pounded her fists against my stomach moving her way slowly up to my chest. "You had no right to do that to her! She still loves you you know? And you go and break her heart."

"Vika-"

"No you listen to me Dimitri Aleksander Belikov, how dare you do that to her after what she's done to you! Damn it Dimitri she was the one who saved you not her friend! Open your damned eyes and see that!"

She slapped me. Now that I wasn't expecting. "And then after you crushed her heart and stamped on it to have the nerve, the nerve, to ask her to be friends. I looked up to you but now I don't think I can. You're a coward Dimitri and frankly I'm disappointed. In you and the fact that you're my brother. I expected better from you."

I winced at that. No one ever wanted to be degraded like that and to have my sister say she wished she wasn't related to me anymore slapped reality into me.

Vika got up from me and shook her head disdainfully at me and her upper lip turned up in disgust. "Go get a fucking clue and do something about it. Rose doesn't deserve to hurt like that, especially in that way."

RPOV

The ink smudged as a droplet of water dropped on it and I hastily wiped it away. This was the last time I would let myself cry like this. As I wrote the last sentence I let my heart break one more time, knowing that after I left, I would be well on my way to the road of recovery. Or so I hoped. I refused to hurt anymore, and even though Yeva said it would come more and more later on, there was no time like the present. After all, I hoped this would be put behind me in a couple years.

I wasn't naïve enough to think it would take a couple weeks let alone a couple months to get over Dimitri. I loved him too much, and a pain so great would take long to erase from my now fragile heart. Kind of like being paralysed took a while to recover if you ever did. The same situation applied to my heart.

I folded up the letter in three and stuffed it in the envelope, pressing a kiss to my fingers then to the front of the envelope where I had written his name. My last goodbye.

DPOV

After being verbally degraded by my sister, and physically, I lay motionless on the ground. My mind was blank and all I felt was pain and a dull ache. So told me to get a clue. I was going to if it was the last thing on this earth. I was going to get my Roza back, and nothing was going to stop me. I would make her see that I still loved her and it was all a lie. And in less than a week because I knew once we returned to Court, all chances were gone.

I turned my head when I heard footsteps approach. Through blurry eyes I saw the woman that I loved so much too. But a different kind of love. She kneeled next to me and stroked my face, wiping away tears that I hadn't realized had fallen.

"Oh my boy," Mama whispered as she pulled me up and hugged me. I buried my head in her chest liked I used to when I was a little boy. Those moments were extremely rare but Mama had always been there for me. Like the time when Ivan died. She had held me for god knows how long and the same was going to happen here.

"I lost her Mama, I lost her." I cried. "Now I can't get her back."

"Dimka what happened? What did you say to her? The girl came down with red puffy eyes even though she tried to hide them."

Oh God, I'd finally broken Rose and for that I'd never forgive myself. I'd made her cry. In all the time I knew her, Rose has never cried except for when Mason died.

"Mama I never meant to, I just love her so much and after what I did to her, she doesn't deserve to hurt by me again."

Dimitri, you're hurting her either way. By pushing her away and something else, I can't see it quite clearly. And you're hurting too. Why don't you just end this all?"

It was simple; she made it sound that way. But until she was truly in my situation she would never understand no matter how much she loved and cared for me. No matter how much she was my mother.

"You don't understand Mama, what I did to her, it was horrible."

"What was that my boy?"

"I-I drank from her," Admitting that to her and quite frankly myself aloud for the first time since it had happened, made my heart stop really. The full impact of impact hadn't really hit until now.

She sighed and pulled me closer. "And now you cannot forgive yourself but she has forgiven you. You don't think she deserves you do you?"

I shook my head erratically no. "Dimitri Belikov, that girl has forgiven all that you have done, has only looked at you with love, has been there for you, and has travelled to the ends of the world to save you. Only you, if that's not love then what is?"

"I love her Mama, I do. She's the only one who's made me feel this way, the only one for me. I know. And I know she loves me but I can't hurt her again."

"You will not hurt that girl again, not by loving her. The only thing hurting her right now is you staying away from her. Why won't you allow yourself to love again?"

"I'm guilty Mama; I told her that my love faded."

"Oh Dimka, you foolish boy. Why?"

"Because…because…"

"I know. Now, I won't stand to see either of you hurting anymore. See this is what you're going to do. You're going to go and win that girl back. Because both of you deserve this and you both need each other's love."

She pulled my face to hers and pressed a kiss to my forehead, smoothing my hair back like she always did when I was younger. Her eyebrows twisted in confusion after she noticed and rubbed the bruise forming around my eye and cheek bone.

"How did this happen?" Mama said, her medical training taking over. And maternal instincts.

"Vika."

"Oh yes, I heard. She was quite loud but she did knock some sense into you right?" I nodded. "Good for her. Now I want you to go up to Roza and apologize to her, and tell her how much you love her. It won't happen all at once. Lord knows I know but she'll forgive you bit by bit and she'll come back to you. "

"Yes Mama." She patted my head once more and we both got up, walking inside. She stopped me at the kitchen for a quick second to give me a towel wrapped bag of ice to put on my face, then shooed me out of the kitchen.

RPOV

The final step to my plan needed to be put into place. For me to fully forget. Yeva had agreed to help me on this, although I did not disclose the content of this step I knew she knew what I had to do.

It was fairly simple; I was going to do something I'm sure I'll never regret, but have many sorrow filled days about, and Yeva was to intercept Dimitri so I could get away.

I leaned against the wall, the one behind the kitchen and farthest away from the stairs and waited to pounce. When I caught a whiff of the scent that made me falter so many times, I vowed to myself that I would be the one to break things off. I would be the one to decide how much more my heart could take. I hated this feeling; it made me fragile and weak. And that was something I never wanted to do.

I heard him approach before I saw him. Light footsteps bounced off the hardwood floors in that familiar walking rhythm that I had come to memorize. His left foot was a bit quicker in stepping than his right foot. I waited until he was at the corner where the two walls met before I stepped out, right in front of him.

To say he was surprised would be an understatement. I took a minute to study him; this would be the final time I looked into his eyes, the final time I ran my fingers through his hair, the final time our lips would touch.

"Roza-" He began. I took a deep breath and before losing all my confidence, I grabbed his chin, and pulled his head down to meet mine that I had brought up. Our lips meet in the softest of touches yet, and my arms locked around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair.

Dimitri was taken aback by shock at my bold action but responded not a second later. His lips moved with mine, slow, soft and loving. Far off, I heard a thunk, and realized Dimitri must have dropped his ice pack. His arms found purchase around my waist, one hand resting gently on my hip.

He spun us around so my back was flush against the wall and I pressed my body impossibly closer to his; wanting to feel that fit like a jigsaw puzzle. My hands unwound from his neck, to slowly trail down the sides of his face, memorizing the feel of his skin, enjoying it one last time.

My hands kept trailing down until they were rested firmly on his chest; my fingers splayed wide for more access. The steady beat of his heart vibrated through my fingers and warmed my soul. It was now his turn as his removed one hand and brought it up to my face.

As he stroked my cheek ever so lightly, goosebumps arose all over my skin and it prickled whenever our skin brushed together. The kiss picked up in intensity but never once became more of a desperate need. It was a slow burning passion igniting both of us to newer levels.

I never wanted it to stop, and from the feel of it, Dimitri held the same sense of mind I held. But I feared if I didn't pull away now, I would be anchored to him, destined for that same hurt, not able to leave and move on. I always knew he would be tied to me like an anchor to my soul, but what I didn't want was the baggage that came with it.

Ever so slowly I pulled my lips away from his, until they were barely touching but I could still feel him giving me butterfly kisses, feathering them all over my face and lips. I let it go on for a little while longer, running my fingers through his silky hair one last time. When he leaned down again, I let myself get lost in the moment if only for a second. I brushed his lips once with mine and pulled away.

His eyes were still closed and he was still breathing heavily, me too. "I'm so sorry," I said; scarcely even a whisper, the words hard to choke up. With that same barely there voice, even quieter if possible I whispered, "I'll always love you."

With silent tears running down my eyes, I headed for the stairs, glad that Dimitri hadn't followed me. Now that that was done, I met Yeva halfway up the steps and nodded to her. When I grabbed what I needed I headed out, looked back at the face that would be forever part of me, and thought I never thought we'd have a last kiss.

DPOV

My mind was still reeling from that kiss when I almost didn't hear her say 'I am so sorry' and 'I will always love you'. I took a minute to recollect myself, hoping she wasn't gone by the time I opened my eyes. But knowing that I had already lost her, I prepared to go chase her, and make her mine again. I approached the stairs and bumped into someone literally. I looked down and saw that it was Babushka. She looked at me with disappointment in her eyes I cowed under her.

"Babushka," I began but she interrupted me with a hand to my face.

"I have an idiot of a grandson. She's gone to you." She put her hand on my arm and pushed lightly. "And watch where you're going." I sidestepped for her to pass through the narrow staircase.

I pondered her words for a minute. She had said Roza was gone to me. Did she mean that literally or figuratively? It would most likely be the latter, I didn't expect Rose just to up and leave but after what I had done to her? Maybe I had pushed her past her breaking point. Maybe I pushed her too far out, too far out to ever come back. But what we had just done gave me an inkling that feelings still remained, on both parts.

With that realization, I was running up the stairs, taking three at a time until I got to the third level, where Vika's room was. I had seen my youngest sister on the couch still giving me the evil eye while Mama was preparing my ice so I knew she wasn't in her room.

I knocked a couple times and didn't receive an answer so I tried the knob surprised to find it unlocked. I twisted it and pushed, walking inside.

Yeva was right. There was no sign of Rose, no clothes strewn across the floor. I checked the under the bed, no suitcase either. I could hear my blood pump in my ears as I didn't see any trace of Rose. Louder and louder the sound became more prominent as Vika's ensuite was cleared of all of Rose's toiletries. Hairbrush, makeup, all gone. I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling faint. I stumbled through to the bed, holding the wall for support as I went.

I fell down on the bed and my hand touched something that crinkled under its touch. I picked up saw that it was an envelope, with my written in front in handwriting I knew all too well. Cautiously I opened it and pulled out the paper. I unfolded it and read it.

About three times before it finally sunk in. holding the paper in a death grip, I ran downstairs lightning fast and zipped through all the rooms before yanking open the front door. I walked outside and ran along the perimeter. My heart beat erratically as I saw no sign of her.

Not being able to hold it in anymore, I dropped to me knees right there on the front lawn and felt the tears run down my cheeks. I stared blankly at the ground, my hands in fists at my sides.

"Why? Why Roza?" I sobbed, breaking down. I let out a strangled scream bodies were all around me. A pair of hands tried to pry open one of mine, the one that held the note.

And I finally felt all the pain Rose felt. When I read that note, she opened up to just how much I had hurt her and now all those feelings and emotions thrust themselves onto me. The hands got the note but I didn't care, those words had been burned into my brain, swirling around in my mind making it the only thing I could think of.

Dimitri,

You're the one. The one I have always and will always love. The one for me. I love you with all my heart and soul but I can't take this anymore. I once promised myself that I would never leave your side, right after the cabin. But I'm afraid I can't keep that promise anymore.

You've pushed me away so much and I've stood my ground, claiming that I'd get you back. You're never going to come back to me are you?

I've did the impossible and brought you back to me, I travelled around the world looking for some way, for some way that you could be restored and when I did find a way, I was ecstatic. Knowing that I had finally found a way to save you excited me even further. Now having you praise Lissa because you thought she did all the work when all she did was drive a stake through your heart pains me because it was I, who did all the work. I hunted you down, but in the end you got Lissa.

You claim that your time as a strigoi will never make you feel any emotions again. That's wrong because I know someone deep down lies the old Dimitri who loved me. When you told me your love had faded, my world came crashing down on me.

You said you're not the same but I beg to differ. You made grief my chief emotion. I hurt so much for you and what do you do to repay me? You push me away even further and cause me more hurt.

Well no longer. I've said it over and over again. I have forgiven you for all that you did to me, it wasn't you. It never was. Who you are is not where you've been. You're still an innocent. You did some things you can't speak of, but at night you live it all again. What you've done is not who you are, you're still an innocent. It's okay, life is a tough crowd, but you're innocent.

And I prayed to God you heard me all along. But you haven't. Words, how little they mean when you're a little too late. I'm trying to fix it, to fix us, could you just try to listen? But you hang up, give up, because for the life of us we can't get us back. What we had – a beautiful magic love there.

Never ever thought I'd see it break. Never thought I'd see us break. Never thought I'd see it...

And it's hurt me so much because I love you with all I have. If you're reading this, it means I'm long gone. And most likely by this time tomorrow, I'll be too far away. Please don't try to look for me. I'd know you would do it for Lissa but part of me hopes that if you do; you'd do it because you still love me.

Don't try, you won't find me. I'm sorry. If all goes according to plan, you'll be just a lingering memory that's cloudy, but lingering none the less. You'll still own a part of my heart but I hope to put all the pieces back together someday and never let it break again. For that pain is insufferable. Why'd you do what you thought you had to do?

Now I don't know what to be without you around. And we know it's never simple, never easy. Never a clean break, there's no one here to save me. You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand, and I can't breathe without you but I have to.

And I'm done hoping that we can work it out, I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels, letting you drag my heart around. I'm done thinking that you could ever change. I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm telling myself I'll be okay. Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger. I'm not giving you an hour or a second or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.

You'll have new Septembers; every one of us has messed up too. But I hope you remember, today is never too late to be brand new. I hope you remember that I'll always love you. Smile more, it's a good look on you and I loved whenever I got one.

I love you Dimitri Belikov. And I hope you know that. But I gotta get back and breathe the old air in; I gotta get back to me without you.

Rose

A/N- Hope you all liked! I hope I didn't disappoint! Please review and tell me what you liked or didn't…

Thanks to Roselyn Belikov-Malfoy, Dhampir (Guest), guardians (guest), Guest, Guest, Me (guest), Guest, rainbows are real, Ginevra Annabeth Herondale, BruntteGuardian, Iolanthe Ivashkov, Dimka's chick, rosedragomir6, XxxRosmitrixxX, hiseask17, Guest, Kautia, roza m belicova, gcgemz, katkitty05, and Abigael Ryan for reviewing! Sorry I couldn't answer your reviews, I loved every single one of them though. Thanks to everyone who put this story on their favourite and follow list, and have also put me on their favourite and follow lists. This is dedicated to you!

Nice and quick update for y'all, don't know when the next one will be so enjoy this one…just don't hate me for ending it like that! And for readers of The Notes Of My Heart, an update will be soon, I'm almost done writing it.

Until next time,

SarahBelikova