A/N Hey! Sorry 'bout the wait. We made this one kindof long as a sort of apology. (well we didn't really it was a fluke - but you don't know that…..hang on.) *looks at Kits wildly* …Just grin!
*Grinz* That's Kits
*Grins* That's Bianca.
As the four stood in the frigid night air (with Bianca being completely enthralled with the snow, 'cause it's SNOW y'all! Ice stuff that falls from the sky!) they didn't see Colonel Hogan peer at his watch. They sure heard him though
"Do you realize what time it is?!" he yelled at the swinging party. Kits, Bianca, Newkirk and Carter looked at each other.
"We're dead," Kits said.
Bianca grinned devilishly. "No worries! I have a plan!"
"No worries, she says... no worries!" Kits moaned.
"Don't be sad," Bianca offered
"Sad?" Kits pulled a confused face at Bianca's choice of words
"I know it's sad" Bianca repeated.
"So sad," Newkirk added
"It's a sad, sad situation." Newkirk intoned
"This is getting more and more absurd." Kits voiced
"'Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word' Elton John/ Bernie Taupin (Big Pig Music) 1976 Happenstance Ltd. Produced by Gus Dudegeon." Carter blurted out
The other three gave him perplexed looks.
"Plagurism is bad." He said simply.
"But that's not the same as the song!" Bianca protested
"It was close enough" Carter was adamant.
"You're kidding me right? What were we supposed to say? Kits was sad!"
"Well, you should have called a doctor." Carter shot back.
Bianca raised an eyebrow and gave him a thumbs up sign. Kits doffed his hat.
"C'mon" Newkirk dragged them forward "the guards will catch us."
"No they won't" Bianca's eyes gleamed "This is a Mary Sue fanfiction something can only happen if we think of it. Watch:"
With that a troop of flying monkey's wearing fez's landed in the compound.
"Dude" Kits said "Lose the monkeys. Stick to one fandemonium, huh"
"That's not a word" Bianca replied.
"Who's writing this thing?" Kits asked
"Bianca you're writing this section." Carter helpfully explained.
"Oh yeah….uh…. Hey look! It's Laurel!"
Laurel was standing at the gates to Stalag 13 surrounded by moose arguing with Langenstwhatever to let her in.
They rushed over "Where have you been? And what's with the moose?"
"They were here when I got here." Laurel replied adjusting her top hat with the cane she was holding.
"Well they're not cartoon moose so Marilyn must be here someplace" Kits logiced {check out the new verb I invented! Meaning 'to logic' --Bianca}
"Makes sure we get her back when we leave. The last thing war torn Europe needs wandering around is a librarian. It's bad enough they've got the Naz- " Bianca broke off noticing the face Carter was giving her.
"What?"
"You do it too!" he
"Do what? She asked apprehensively
"Think out loud!" he replied
"Huh….oh was I saying how wonderful librarians are and how the basic structure of modern democracy was encompass -"
Newkirk rolled his eyes and Kits shook her head as Bianca tried to dig her way out of that one.
Laurel surprisingly supplied the exit scene ender that was desperately being evaded up until now.
"Stop your babbling, the next chapter is solely about Marilyn-you can grovel there! This is my scene!"
"It is?" mouthed Kits
Bianca shrugged and pulled an 'apparently face'
But before they could further their comical altercation the compound went dark and the searchlights swooped in from opposing ends of the camp stopping on Laurel as she gripped a microphone and belted out a slow ballard swooning over Langeswhatever as she did.
Newkirk looked at Bianca and Kits. Kits covered her eyes and shook her head.
Bianca shrugged apologetically "I said she could be Marlene Deitrich."
Then from the mist a lone figure holding an oboe walked into focus.
"Oh hi Lauren" Kits waved.
"Lauren." Bianca grinned and nodded cordially
"No, I'm Laurel" Laurel said her back still to Lauren
"I thought you were 'Lori'" Newkirk offered, a confused look on his face.
"Sounded like 'Laura' to me" Carter added his two cents.
"No, no, she was always 'Lily Laurel'" Bianca tried to clarify.
"So who's Lara?" Carter asked.
"Lara?" Bianca repeated.
"Confuzzled" Kits said in a small voice.
Newkirk gave her a cookie. Bianca smiled re-assuringly but grimaced as she tuned into Carters mumbling
"…or was it Laurelle…I'm confused?"
Bianca frowned "There is only one Laurel and one Lauren. How confusing can that be?"
"What about me?" Rusty appeared through the mist that was hovering on the outskirts of camp and convieniently staying out of the main compound where the dramatic tale was unfolding.
Kits waved.
"Who are you?" Newkirk asked
"Lauren" Rusty replied
"I thought you were Lauren." Newkirk said pointing at Laurel
"No, that's Laurel, that's Lauren." Bianca pointed at the Oboe one.
"I thought she was Leanne….or Lindsay." Carter said staring at Laurenwiththeoboe
"…..or was it Lourdes?"
"Neither sweetie…..she's Lauren." Bianca had gone past exasperated.
"So who's that?" Newkirk asked pointing at Rusty
"Lauren" Kits mumbled around a mouthful of cookie
"But Bianca just said Lydia was Lauren." Newkirk shot back
"Where'd you pull 'Lydia' from?" Bianca asked
"Oh I'm sorry I meant to say Lynn" Newkirk blushed
"I knew a Lynn once ." Carter reminisced "Is it short for anything? Lynette….Lindsay?" he asked Lauren
Bianca opened her mouth. But before anything could come out a whistle broke through the night. Everybody stopped and looked at Kits who had finished her cookie and was taking charge.
"Bianca, you've just written two pages on 'L' names and you're not getting anywhere. Count your losses and move on."
"But I still have to mention Lillian, Lena, Lousia, Letita, Lori…….." She trailed off
"maybe we should just move on. Where were we?"
"Lauren with the Oboe was walking through the mist" Carter expositioned
"Oh yeah……right-oh" Bianca turned to Lauren "ask us what were doing here" she stage whispered
"What are you doing here?" Lauren asked.
A/N ~ Is every body still grinning (or 'Grinzing' – See Kits! I told you the 'z' thing didn't work for a reason ;o)).
Keeping with the tradition of bad Mary Sues, we're refusing to post more story until we have at least 10 reviews. Considering were at 15 at the moment that threat seems rather idle hmmmm.
Meh. Have a cookie.