True Love Way
Chapter 3: Cracks in the Pavement
Jacob Black drifted awake to the smell of breakfast. It surprised him, the last time he woke to breakfast he'd been 8 years old and it was his mother in the kitchen.
But before he could determine if he were dreaming or not, a wave of nauseating pain rolled through him. And then another and another, until his huge body curled in on itself. The morphine had worn off.
"Ugh!" Jacob tried to roll over but he couldn't. He could feel the excruciating healing process of bone fusing back together.
Fist clenched, he reached for his nightstand where a tiny vial of morphine was supposed to be. But the nightstand was somewhere crushed against the opposite wall.
And the bottle, he vaguely remembered, was somewhere outside his window, where he threw it the night before.
With a groan Jacob cursed making stupid, rash decisions.
And thinking about stupid decisions led his mind on a blissfully agonizing path. The memories of Bella's soft skin, her scent, her scorching kiss, and the desperate cries she smothered against his neck were still fresh; engraved in his mind. The agony of broken bones was pretty equal to the agony of loving Bella Swan. He focused himself into a numb state, twitching when one pain waned and the other tried to take over.
Billy's sharp rap distracted him long enough for his physical wounds to burn.
"Son?"
"I'm up," he managed to bite out.
Billy rolled inside. Jacob pulled his blanket up higher, trying to forget how it looked a few hours ago wrapped around Bella's creamy skin.
"You ok?" Billy's eyebrows shot up. Jacob gritted his teeth.
"Morphine," he groaned. Billy nodded and rolled to the kitchen where the other bottles were stashed. When he came back, needle in hand, he balanced a plate in his lap.
Bacon, eggs, and cinnamon toast. Jacob's heart clutched.
His mom used to make cinnamon toast. It was his favorite.
"Hold still," Billy murmured. Jacob didn't even wince as the needle slipped beneath his skin. The rushing numbness put out the fire in his limbs, but it made the emotional chaos blaze stronger.
Cinnamon toast. He wondered how she knew.
His father's eyes were sad as he sat the plate on Jacob's stomach.
"Eat. You need your strength."
Billy eyed the blood on the blanket, the tiny splatters against the wall and on the floor. It looked like a scene from a horror movie, except someone has mercilessly left Jacob Black still breathing.
And the blood pushed Jacob's mind back to Bella things. She'd been a virgin, her blood was somewhere on that blanket. He got to be her first. It was the most beautiful and insanely infuriating thing in the world. And he felt like maybe he should be offended, that she gave up her body when he wanted her heart.
But he couldn't. He hated it, but he understood.
And while he wanted to hope, pray it meant that he'd won, it was only confirmation of his loss. Sympathy sex. A consolation prize. Goodbye hidden inside her impossibly warm depths.
Jacob couldn't help but feel like a bad joke. All his life he had to deal with secondhand things. He had to create dreams that wouldn't be crushed by daily life on the rez. He had to watch loved ones die or run away. He had to deal with growing up young, taking care of his father when his sisters bailed. Then he had to find out ghost stories were real, that vampires went bump in the night and he was their sworn enemy.
Life was one fight after another. And good crap rarely happened to him in his opinion.
And when it did, Jacob felt he was awesome at creating ways to ruin it.
Bella was good. But Bella was gone when he opened his eyes.
Jacob sighs and pushes the food around on his plate. He suddenly wasn't all that hungry. And that was saying something.
Billy just sat there until Jacob took a bite. To Jake's chagrin everything tastes perfect. Not too salty or crunchy, nothing was burnt or undercooked and it made him irrationally mad. The toast was just like his mother used to make. Not too much cinnamon and a little bit of sugar.
The plate ended up following the first morphine bottle out the window.
"Let her go Jake," Billy touched his son's arm. Jacob looked down to see he was shaking. And then, to his surprise, he realized he was crying too.
He nodded to his father, as if to promise he'd make an effort. But it wasn't of any use. Bella Swan was as much a part of him as his heart. She was his heart. To take her out of it would surely mean death.
"Hey kid," Charlie was in an unnaturally good mood. It made Bella feel that much worse as she shuffled into the house in Rachel's old clothes. She left her bloodied ones in the truck.
"Hey dad," she attempted to walk past him but he turned her to face him.
"Not this again," all the joy leaked out of his voice.
"What?" Bella couldn't put any infliction in her words. She was so tired.
"The zombie isn't coming back is it?" Bella looked up in her father's eyes, aware that he'd suffered too because of her.
"No," she patted his arm, "I'm just worn out. Too much excitement."
Charlie pulled his daughter into a hug, and she didn't know how much she needed one until she collapsed in his arms.
"Oh Isabella," he sighed. She sniffled but breathed her father in. Charlie smells like the lake all the time. No matter how much she washed his clothes, the lake clung to his skin.
She loved her dad. And she was going to miss him like crazy.
"Are you ok?" he asked as she pulled away wiping her eyes.
"Yeah," and she tried to make it sound convincing.
"Is Jake ok?" she winced at his name. She sucked her bottom lip in her mouth, trying to forget the perfect way Jacob touched her.
"When I leave," she whispered, "for college in August, can you check on him often?" Charlie swallowed the lump rising in his throat. He smoothed his hair down, and used the other hand to cup his daughter's face gently. He was a father, maybe not the best or most articulate, but he and his daughter were cut from the same cloth. He could read between the lines.
"When you leave," he choked down the fear that clawed its way to the surface, "I will look after him."
Bella nods and starts up the stairs. Starts toward her room, half afraid Edward was there waiting. She showered at the Blacks, but she just knew, she just knew he'd know.
And then he'd leave again. And with Jacob broken she wouldn't have anyone to bring her back when he left. The Volturi would make sure she'd be a vampire one day, but that future was empty and bleak without Edward there to make it bearable.
Bella is suddenly too scared to face whatever her bedroom held.
"Dad?" her eyes are glassy with fresh tears. "Can you tell me a story?"
Charlie smiles, he hadn't heard those words in almost ten years, not after Bella was too big for bedtime tales. Charlie sits down on the loveseat and pats the empty side. Bella drags her leaden feet and tries her best to be 8 again, when the only thing that mattered was loving the father she didn't know.
She turned to lay her head in his lap, closing her eyes when his hands smoothed her still damp hair down her back.
"Which one do you want to hear?" his fingers work through the tangles easily. Almost gracfully.
"Your choice."
He grunts softly, wondering where everything went wrong.
"The day you were born, perhaps?"
"Mmhm," his pants are damp now but he doesn't care. And he's going to be late for work, but it could wait.
"Your mother," he starts his voice teasing, "Was absolutely convinced you were a boy."
"She was going to name me Aiden," Bella smiles.
"Uh huh. But I knew you were a girl. Your mom was always a firecracker, but she was sweet as pie the entire time she was pregnant. I knew only a girl could have that kind of effect."
Bella's chuckles try to turn into sobs.
"When you were born, you were the tiniest thing. And when the doctor plopped you down in my arms I was scared, and happy, and way too young but so sure you were mine forever."
Bella swallows, wishing she cherished forever like her father did.
"And you didn't cry," Charlie's voice grew strained with emotion, "You just stared up at me kid, like you knew exactly who I was."
* I love Charlie. Anyways, your reviews are amazing, and I'm glad you guys are connecting with this. There sorta is a "lemon" (why in the world do we call sex scenes lemons?) that goes between these chapters but there's enough (and way better) J/B sex on so I'm holding mine hostage for a bit. ^_^ Thanks again for reading.