Hey guys! Sorry it always takes us so long to update. There's two of us writing and Alicia doesn't have Word and we have lives (I think). I know, lame excuses.

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HERE'S CHAPTER 3!! FINALLY!

Chapter 3

"Ruth? What are you doing here?" Edward asked from the ground.

I looked down from the branch I was sitting on, well over 10 feet higher than where Edward and Carlisle now stood.

"Thinking." I replied.

I heard and smelled them long before they got to the same place I was, that way I could change my thoughts before Edward was within hearing distance. I wanted to talk to Carlisle alone for just a few minutes to get figure out what I would say to Jasper and Edward without giving my deepest, darkest secret away because he would know what to do, Carlisle usually did.

"About what?" Carlisle asked.

"Edward and Jasper have manipulated me into telling them something I really don't want to. Can I talk to you?" I said.

They had been bothering me non-stop for the past 2 hours to tell them because it was past midnight which was clearly, in every country, considered 'tomorrow'.

Carlisle instantly knew what meant. The men looked at each other briefly and Edward nodded. "I'll meet you back at the house."

"Stay away, Edward. I want to talk to him truly alone." I called down.

He glared at me before running off to the house. Carlisle nimbly climbed up and sat next to me.

He looked at me knowingly. "It's about what I think it's about, isn't it?"

"Yes." Then I remembered what I never told him before. "And no."

"They want you to tell them what?"

"Why I always feel a bit jealous, upset and mad when . . ."

". . . when I look at Esme." He finished.

I nodded. "It's just . . . it's exactly the same, and I mean exactly the same, as when you used to look at me. And every time I see you two it kills me to know I once had love. Even around the others, Rose and Em, Jazz and Al, it's just so hard! Even Edward is starting to make me jealous . . . he's too curious about that human girl, it just doesn't make sense. I think the course of time will lead them to be together. I don't need to be able to see the future to see that."

I left out the part I'd been hiding from everyone, even Carlisle, but I had to come up with another story for the boys; I couldn't tell them Carlisle and I had been together before, so I would tell them another story, all true, but not the full reason I felt the way I did.

Carlisle thought for a moment. "You seem to think about this a lot. How does Edward not know?"

"Before Bella, I did a really good job not thinking about it. If she and Edward work it out and they stay together, I'll be the only Cullen alone; this would make it nearly unbearable.

"Ruth, you're never alone. We're always here for you," Carlisle comforted.

"Lately I've been trying to think about it whenever he's not around, so when he was gone, it was bittersweet. I had the time I needed to think out things, but I missed him terribly."

"Is there anything you can tell me I don't know?" He asked. "It might help me help you."

Could I really tell him this? "I think I still love you. Well, not so much now, but ages ago."

We sat in silence.

"Really?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, but it's more of a memory than a true emotion. I . . . it's hard to explain." I finished a bit lamely.

"You know it was the same for me."

"I . . . wait . . . what?!" I asked, taken aback.

"Like you, it is more of a memory than anything else. I feel extremely guilty whenever I am alone with you, like we are now, because it reminds me of when we were human and it makes me feel bad about hurting you."

"You didn't hurt me. I always felt bad about hurting Esme more than anyone. If she found out without you or I telling her, I wouldn't know what to say." I muttered. He never hurt me, I knew nothing would be the same as before when I was first changed, but we still cared about each other.

"True enough. Well, about the boys, tell them only as much as you want to. We ought to be getting back now; I have to go to work soon."

I nodded and we jumped out of the tree and ran back to the house.

I went up to my room to change into fresh clothes for school. It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. Or at least half of it.

All of us Cullens had our insecurities, Edward and his over-protective, perfectionist ways were a cover for him; to hide things he was uncomfortable with. Alice was always over-eccentric to hide the fact she really wanted to know about her human life, Rosalie was mean to the humans because she was jealous they were still living, Emmett was . . . well . . . Emmett; he just tries to be funny to hide his insecurities, Jasper was always quiet because he hated what he had done before he met Alice, and then us. Not talking was the best way not to bring anything up. Esme and Carlisle were pretty normal, not that they'd show anything was wrong, like real parents would. And then there was me, I hid my true emotions because I was afraid of getting hurt again.

I heard Alice's voice from the top of the stairs as clearly as if I was standing next to her.

"Your life seems to be at crossroads." She said.

I hurried down the stairs as I heard Edward laugh. "You do realize you sound like a bogus gypsy at a carnival now, right?"

I got to them just in time to see Alice stick her tongue out at him.

"Edward, you'd better get changed." Alice said.

He nodded and bounded up the stairs past me.

"What's wrong, Alice?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing." She replied in the voice that said there was something wrong.

I sighed. "Edward's planning to leave again, isn't he?"

"How did you know?!"

"I'm not stupid, I can tell." Why would he run away again? I couldn't understand. I had to confront him so he wouldn't make the same mistake I had.

I put my hand on her shoulder and I saw a vision of Edward in a meadow with someone, but it wasn't clear enough to see who it was. All I caught was long, dark brown hair and I knew one person that Edward would want to bring there, but only the future would tell.

"Don't worry, Al, I don't think he's going anywhere too soon." I reassured.

When we were getting ready to go to school in the cars, I called to Jasper and Alice.

"Come with us." I said, gesturing to Edward and myself.

The two came over and got into the backseat of the Volvo. Rosalie and Emmett looked happy to have the BMW to themselves and I was just as happy to leave them alone; today you could practically feel the love pouring out of them. Last night I had to leave because they were so loud.

"Are you going to tell your story?" Alice asked.

"No." Not to her anyway. It's not like she won't find out anyways. Just you, Edward, for now. Decide to tell her later. Pay attention. "Later, promise."

He nodded subtly and I began.

It was in 1914 when Carlisle and I lived in Little Heaven, Delaware and we posed as cousins working in the local hospital together. Ready for a flashback?

He smiled slightly. I let him see freely into my mind.

I despised the dresses of this century, they were so stiff. I had worn men's trousers before for a disguise and preferred them over skirts and dresses by far and promised that if girls were ever allowed to wear them, I would never put on another dress again unless absolutely necessary.

"Ruth, there's a patient here, Margaret Carmichael. She's 16 and has pneumonia. I said you'd take care of her." Carlisle said.

"Sure, has she got family?"

He nodded. "Parents both 36 and brother 17, they're in the room with her."

I walked past him to the room. As I walked in, everyone looked at me. Well, stared, but I was used to it.

"Hello, I am Ruth Cullen. I will be taking care of Margaret."

"I am Harry Carmichael, this is my wife, Elizabeth, our daughter, Margaret, and our son, Matthew." The father said.

I stared at the son for a few moments. He had jet black hair and hazel eyes. He was tall, around 6 feet, but he wasn't lanky. I could see his muscles underneath his shirt. I felt an emotion I had not felt in so long, but could it be possible?

"Pleasure to meet you all."

I paused for a moment. Good so far?

Edward smiled again and I continued.

Two months passed and Margret's constant visitor was Matthew. He came more than the parents, but I think it was to see me. More flashback.

I took a deep breath and started for the last time.

"Hello, Miss Cullen!" Matthew called to me across the road as he crossed.

I looked up, already knowing he was there.

"Please, call me Ruth."

"Alright then, Ruth. Can I ask you something?"

I nodded.

"I saved up some money and I was wondering if you wanted to go to the new Charlie Chaplin movie with me." He blushed.

I thought about it for a second, but I had to tell him the answer neither of us wanted to hear.

"Sorry, but I can't. I . . . I don't think of you that way." I looked down, ashamed at myself.

"Oh, that's fine. Maybe another time." He winked.

I shook my head. "No. It's much more complicated than you could understand."

He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a side alley. "I know it has only been a few months, but I feel as if I could not live without you."

I was speechless. I felt the same, but our love was forbidden. He swept a stray hair out of my eyes, touching my cold cheek.

"Why are you so cold?" He asked. It was a fair question as it was the middle of summer, but not sunny.

I shrugged. "I have always been." It was hard to lie to him.

He suddenly pushed me up against the wall of the building behind me and kissed me. I didn't want to stop, but I had to.

"No. Stop. Please, I'm so sorry . . . I . . . have to go, Carlisle will be waiting for me."

I ran away from him and to my house.

Carlisle was at home, reading this obscure book in Spanish.

"I don't want to live here anymore! Let's go somewhere else, Chicago, perhaps. Anywhere but here!" I practically shouted at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, instantly concerned.

"Nothing, I just can't be here anymore!"

"Calm down, Ruth. Alright, we'll leave tonight."

I don't think Carlisle felt like arguing with me. And as you know, I can be pretty stubborn. I was glad he decided to leave so quickly. I think he knew at least something about Matthew. His scent was all over me.

By the next morning, we were halfway to Chicago.

Alice suddenly spoke. "I can't be sure, but I'm fairly certain you'll get a second chance at finding love. It's too distant for me to see clearly."

I smiled. "Thanks, Alice, but don't worry. I'll be fine no matter what happens in the future." I hoped she didn't notice the slightly bitter edge in my voice.

When we got out of the car, Alice and Jasper went over to see Rosalie and Emmett while I stayed with Edward by the Volvo.

She's here now. I thought. Bella had parked not far from where we were and we watched her get out carefully and look at her tires.

"I can see that." He replied at vampire speed.

There's nothing wrong with being curious.

"This time there is."

I frowned. Don't you get it?! I didn't only tell that story to get you guys off my back, it's a lesson! Please don't make the same mistake I did. Please, Edward!

"What do you want me to do?"

Prove me wrong! Prove to me that vampires and humans can be together, it would give me peace of mind knowing you're happy. And if you don't you'll regret it.

"And yourself? Don't you want to be happy?"

I've had my fair share of happiness. It's your turn now. Don't worry about me.

"NO!" I heard Alice say aloud. What in the future did she see?

Just then, Tyler Crowley came around the corner, hitting the ice at the worst possible angle for the parking lot had become like an ice rink.

I grabbed Edward's arm quickly to see what Alice had. I felt my mouth drop open as I saw the conclusion.

Not her! I heard Edward think before he ran at vampire speed to get to Bella who stood beside her truck, frozen with fear.

I saw Edward grab Bella by the waist and place himself between her and the van that seemed to be pulled toward her again like a magnet. I heard him swear quietly, he never swore in front of a woman, well, excluding me.

He stopped the van again, holding above the ground. I took opportunity of the initial distraction to run over to him. I went around between a tan car that had been dented by Tyler's van and Bella's truck and put my hands under the van, holding it up.

"Thanks." He muttered.

"Just get her out of the way." I said, teeth clenched. I placed the van as carefully as I could out of concern for the driver away from Bella and Edward. I subtly fixed the dent in the car when I knew Bella was out of the way.

Until then, I didn't think about the concern for our family, the exposure this could bring. I just wanted to make sure Bella was safe and I knew Edward would never forgive himself if she died when he could've stopped it from happening.

"Is she alright?" He asked.

"I think so, just a bump on the head." I replied, looking over her quickly. "I'll go and attempt to explain."

I ran to to the rest of my family, no one would notice anyway. If they did, they'd convince themselves they just hadn't seen me before.

I was greeted with looks ranging from scorn to pure hatred.

"We couldn't let her die." I said quietly.

"Yes, you could have." Rosalie retorted. "Just because Edward likes playing hero, you don't have to."

"Just because you're an ego-statistical, selfish rich girl doesn't mean I have to be. I'd much rather be a hero than that!" I turned my back to all of them, facing the accident.

I felt Alice's small hand on my shoulder. "I think it was the right thing, but it was a bit foolish . . . and don't say it's not foolish to save someone's life, because it's not. I can see now, clearer than ever, that you were right."

Glimpses of the future flashed in front of my eyes. The vision of Edward in a meadow with some that was blurry was now clear. I had been right; it was Bella sitting there with him.

"I forgive you guys." Emmett said. Of course he'd forgive us, he could never stay mad at one of us . . . it just wasn't like him. He balances Rosalie nicely.

"Thanks."

Silence from Jasper and Rosalie still, but I could feel Jasper emanating anger. Couldn't he just get over it?

"Someone said they saw your sister, Ruth with you." An EMT said to Edward from across the parking lot.

Tell him yes. That I'm fine, but Carlisle would be worried. I need to talk to him and get away from Rose before either one of us kills the other.

Edward told him what I said to and I walked over when he motioned for me to.

"Are you alright?" The EMT asked.

I smiled reassuringly. "Yes, but of course I'll let my father look at me to make sure I'm OK."

Edward and I followed him and sat in the front of the ambulance. We sat so our shoulders were touching, but that was just the way the cab was; small and cramped.

Look, it's her dad. I thought randomly. I realized the police chief's thoughts were nearly as silent as his daughter's, but they were there, unlike Bella's.

I know, I see where she gets it from now. I wonder if her mother is the same.

The ambulance started to move before either of us could try to decipher his thoughts any further.

When we got to the hospital, we headed straight for Carlisle's small office.

"Carlisle." Edward said.

He looked panicked for a second, probably thinking Edward had killed Bella.

"No, not that." Edward reassured. So I had been right.

"Of course, I'd been entertaining the idea. Your eyes are still the same. But what happened?"

"Errrr . . . there was a car accident and Bella was in the way and would've got killed if Edward hadn't stopped the van. I helped too and now Rosalie looks as though she wants to kill us." I said.

"Wait, slow down. I don't understand."

Edward explained again, but in more detail.

"You both did the right thing, I'm proud. It must not have been easy." Carlisle said.

"Carlisle, she wants an explanation. She knows there's something different about Ruth and me."

"We'll move if necessary."

I frowned. "I don't think we'll have to. Bella won't say a word, she's trustworthy."

"Either way, it sounds like I've got a patient to check on."

Edward and I stayed in Carlisle's office.

"For goodness sake, don't beat yourself up about it! She's fine, we're obviously fine and she will never tell, is that so hard to believe?" I said, exasperated.

"Yes, for me it is. I don't like not being able to read her thoughts."

We were quiet for a little while, and then I broke the silence.

"What's going on down there?"

"Not much." He replied. "The driver, Tyler, was injured more than Bella it seems. He keeps apologizing to her and she doesn't like it; all the attention."

I got up and walked around the small room. "OK, I think I'll go insane if I stay in here any longer, I'm going to Carlisle."

Edward nodded. We walked out into the hallway and I followed Edward to Carlisle. We found him looking at some X-rays, Bella's most likely.

"Well done, she's absolutely fine." He said as he heard us walk in.

"I think I'll talk to her, smooth things over." Edward muttered.

"Yes, good. Hmmmm." Carlisle trailed off. I touched Edward's arm to see what Carlisle was so interested in.

Look at all those healed contusions! How many times did her mother drop her?

I dropped my hand and laughed with Carlisle. It felt good after the tension that had been built up.

"I think she's just got really bad luck." I said, still giggling slightly. I began to laugh a bit harder when I remembered that's what my mother said to her friend centuries ago when I turned down every possible husband but one, all which had died mysteriously. Carlisle remembered too and laughed with me.

"I'll be going." Edward said, backing out of the room. He probably felt like he was interrupting our moment.

We stopped laughing after a little while.

"You sound like your mother a lot."

"I know." I said as I hung my head. I missed her so much. "You might want to go free Bella; I think Tyler's getting on her nerves. I'll go see how Edward's doing, come in a few minutes."

He nodded and I walked down to the Emergency Room.

"So, what's the verdict?" I heard Edward ask as I entered the room.

"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go. How come you're not strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?" Bella complained.

I stood beside Edward and answered for him. "It's all about who you know. Don't worry our father's coming to spring you."

As if he'd been waiting for me to say that, which he might have, Carlisle walked in. I looked at Bella's face and smiled widely at her expression which was one most people wore when they first saw Carlisle, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. She pulled herself together more quickly than others I knew.

"How are you feeling Miss Swan?" He said in a calm voice.

"I'm fine." She mumbled.

I stood there awkwardly for a moment. "I'll just go. Meet you in the waiting room?" I looked pointedly at Edward.

Calm down, you're doing fine.

Edward nodded.

I walked as slowly as I could out the door and towards the waiting room. I saw Chief Swan pacing anxiously back and forth amongst students from Forks High.

"Hello, Chief Swan. I'm Ruth Cullen." I said, stopping his pacing.

"Oh, hello. You helped Bella, right? How is she?"

I nodded. "Bella's fine, honestly. I checked her over immediately after and my father says she just hit her head on the ice." He looked at me questioningly. Damn, should not have said that! "I have an interest in a medical career path, so my father has been teaching me some things. She should be coming down shortly."

"You're not hurt." It was a statement, not a question.

"I'm rather resilient for my size." For some strange reason, I felt bad for lying to him. I must be getting more sensitive.

"That must be useful with your older brothers." He smiled shyly.

I smiled back. "Not that I get to practice it much, my mother stops them from hurting me. Being the youngest has its advantages. Bella told me her mother was in Jacksonville, does she know?" Another lie, I heard Edward thinking about her before.

He looked guilty. "Yeah, and she'll be worried sick about her."

"But at least she knows she's well."

"That won't stop Renee from worrying." He chuckled and I did as well.

Why did I never take interest to talk to Charlie Swan before? He's nice and caring. If anything happened to Bella, he would be crushed, that was obvious. I would take care to note that to Edward.

"It's been great talking to you. You seem much more mature than some of the other girls your age." I would've blushed if I were human.

"Oh, thanks." I walked away and sat down in a chair nearest to the door to the ER.

Their scents caught my attention before the voices.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I heard Bella hiss quietly to Edward.

Explain to her as best as you can. I thought.

"Your father is waiting for you." Edward said through clenched teeth.

"I'd like to speak to you alone if you don't mind."

They walked closer to the door to the waiting room.

Thanks, Edward.

"What do you want?" He asked coldly.

"You owe me an explanation."

"I saved your life - I don't owe you anything."

Be nice!

"You promise." She sounded disappointed.

"Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about."

"There's nothing wrong with my head."

She's right, tell her something!

"What do you want from me?" He was asking us both.

"I want to know the truth. I want to know why I'm lying for you." She was being fair; she deserved to know, but not yet.

Let her figure it out on her own. She won't tell.

Bella described what happened in her point of view, ending with, " . . . but you were holding it up . . ."

"You think I lifted the van off you?" Edward asked, overdoing the sarcasm.

"Not just you, your sister, Ruth too." She said quietly.

So she was more observant than I gave her credit for.

Get us out of this!

"No one will believe that, you know."

"I'm not going to tell anybody." Bella replied slowly, pronouncing each word clearly.

I was shocked. I knew she wouldn't tell, but why?

"Then why does it matter?"

"It matters to me." She said strongly. "I don't like to lie - so there better be a good reason why I'm doing it."

"Can't you just thank me and get it over with?" Edward was getting impatient.

"Thank you."

Edward broke the silence, "You aren't going to let it go, are you?"

"No."

"Then I hope you enjoy disappointment." Edward was nearly at the door when I heard Bella say one last thing.

"Why did you even bother?"

Tell her the truth. You've lied enough.

"I don't know." With that, Edward walked through the door. I got up and followed him out the main entrance and back to the school.

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