Hey guys! Sorry about the long delay, I had finals these past two weeks and they kind of took me out of the game for a second there. Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews! I tried to take your advice into account when I wrote the chapter and I hope it worked out. Thanks once again to my wonderful beta/pre-reader DreamingPoet1988. You are amazing!
AN: This chapter has been betad by DreamingPoet1988
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Edward-
I woke up on my own at seven the next morning like I always did when I didn't set my alarm. Quickly and efficiently I ran through my daily routine and checked on my patient before deciding to run a few errands. My shift at the hospital today was a late shift, starting at five in the evening, which meant I had hours at my disposal to do with as I saw fit. I debated briefly simply reading the paper and having a chill morning but quickly decided against it. I had no desire to have James' fuck buddy in my house all day and that meant I had to get something to disinfect that burn stat.
I popped the last piece of toast into my mouth hurriedly and grabbed my keys from the shelf, breezing out the door and to my car quickly. I figured that the man sleeping on my couch would probably be out for a few more hours at least, considering the amount of sleeping medication I had given him just a few hours previously. I hadn't felt capable of handling hours and hours of being in his presence with him conscious and judging from how panicked I apparently made him he felt the same way. That being the case, sleeping medication had seemed like the best option. Still, there was no need to drag my feet and push my luck.
I had barely gotten in my car when my phone rang. The caller id had Bella written in bold letters across the screen and I smiled slightly, she had to be my favorite person in the world.
"Bells!" I greeted cheerfully after hitting the Bluetooth button on my steering wheel so the call would come through my car.
"Edward!" Her happy voice answered back. "How are you? Long time no see!" The last bit had a touch of accusation and I felt a brief pang of guilt for forgetting to call her earlier.
"I'm fine, how are you and Jake?"
"We're both good, busy with work and what not but good. Jacob finally got his shop opened up!" I could practically hear her big goofy grin as she talked. She was so proud of Jake it was almost comical. But then again, who could blame her when her husband was becoming so successful doing what he loved?
"I'm glad!" I said genuinely. "I'll have to swing by there and say hi!"
"Please do! It's been too long Edward I—" Her breath caught in her throat for a second while she debated changing her answer. Finally she seemed to decide against it. "I worry about you." I frowned, hating that she thought I was too incompetent to take care of myself.
"You don't need to," I snapped, "I do just fine on my own."
"I know you do Ed, its just… you're alone all the time. What if something happened? How do you not get lonely?" She finished softly. I clutched the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white to keep from sounding too goddamn frustrated.
"What could possibly happen alone Bella that couldn't happen with you there?" I demanded angrily. "And I'm not lonely, I tell you that all the time." There was a moment of awkward silence after I finished speaking and I could almost see Bella's crestfallen face.
Then: "I know Edward, I just can't help it. You're like my brother, I worry." I sighed and loosened my grip on the wheel, Bella meant well.
"I love you Bells" I said softly as a peace offering. She decided not to push anything today and took it.
"I love you too Edward. What are you up to today, not working until later I assume?"
"Not until five. I'm running a few errands, picking up things I need and then heading home to take care of some business before then."
"Business?" She questioned. I shrugged my shoulders out of habit before I remembered she couldn't see me.
"Yep, nothing big."
"Okay, well I'll probably stop by in a few days to say hi okay? Any day work better for you than others?" She asked. I ran through my work schedule in my head and quickly came up with a few free days for her.
"How about next Thursday, a week from now?" I suggested.
"Sounds good! I'll see you then!" She responded happily. "Bye Ed!"
"Bye Bells." I hit the end button on the Bluetooth and my music once again swelled to fill the car. Classical, my favorite.
/
I got home in under an hour and a half with all my groceries for the week and the medicine for the burn, impressive if I do say so myself. Like expected the man was still passed out cold on my couch and I woke him up none too gently by shaking his arm slightly. I barely had to touch him and he flew to the other end of the couch, looking like some kind of ruffled bird convinced the cat had cornered it at last. His terror was so great I almost felt bad for waking him that way.
"I brought the medicine for your shoulder like I said I would, let me see." He stared at me dumbly, still looking like he thought I was about to produce a knife from behind my back and kill him with it. "I'm not going to hurt you, I already told you that." I reminded him, arching an eyebrow at him. He held my gaze for a solid thirty seconds, seeming to judge the seriousness of my statement, and then nodded jerkily and moved towards me. Hesitantly he turned his body so that his shoulder faced me and his head was tilted away so I could work. The act looked like it cost him infinite amounts of effort and he literally shook in fear from being vulnerable so close to me.
"I'm going to touch your shoulder now alright?" I warned him calmly, as one would a skittish dog. My training was kicking in and I knew better than to startle him by not giving him a heads-up as to what I was doing. I waited for him to nod before continuing.
"Okay now I'm going to clean it a little bit, it's going to sting kind of a lot okay? So be ready." The only response was a resigned tensing of the man's shoulders. He hissed through his teeth when I began to carefully disinfect and clean the wound and bit his lip hard when it got to the point of me having to lance the abscess so the puss could drain out. Surprisingly he didn't complain once or cry out and I admired him for that. I had numbed the area of course but it still had to hurt quite a bit. After a solid fifteen minutes of work everything was done that could be done and I gently placed a bandage over the area to keep it from getting dirty again while it healed.
"You're done, good job." I congratulated, standing swiftly and stripping off the plastic gloves I had used. He looked up at me and caught my eyes before looking away quickly, whispering a thank you. He really does have the prettiest eyes, I noticed. I shook my head harshly to wipe out such thoughts; they were completely irrelevant anyway.
"Are you hungry?" I asked as I made my way to the kitchen. He hadn't eaten anything since I'd taken him to my place almost seventeen hours ago. He shook his head and I noticed with some concern that he was shaking.
"Are you alright?" I questioned, slipping back into doctor mode. He nodded.
"Yes I— can we please go back to James'?" He pleaded as he hugged his arms closely to his chest like a frightened child. My lip pulled back in a sneer of disgust and I couldn't help but glare at him. James obviously beat the shit out of him on a daily basis and yet this man was spineless enough to actually beg to go back to him. I couldn't help but ask the question that was burning to come out.
"What the fuck do you want to go back there for?" He looked surprised that I had asked, his wide eyes meeting my own for a second while he thought over an answer.
"I don't really I suppose." He said after a long pause. "I just really, really need another hit." His answer was so simple and yet so fucking stupid I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
"Another hit? You'd go back to that asshole for another hit? What, is it like a smack for some smack?" I mocked. He looked down, hunching his shoulders in embarrassment. The move made his dark bruises and shiny scars stand out all the more across his bare back.
"No really," I snapped, "enlighten me. I'd really like to understand. Do you think that he loves you? That he 'doesn't mean to'? Does he promise every time that it'll be the last time? I wonder, are you stupid enough to think you love him?" I was being an asshole and I knew it, jabbing the knife where I thought it would hurt the most and liking it. It was cruel, unnecessarily so, but I couldn't seem to help myself. The man in front of me didn't react at all like I expected him too. In fact, he really didn't react period.
"No." He said firmly, still looking down. "He never tells me he loves me. He always means to do what he does. And as for promises, the only kind he ever makes, are the ones he keeps with his fists." His answer was so unexpected I was shocked into complete silence.
The man used it to continue talking, his voice taking on what could only be described as a whimper: "Please, take me back. I have to go back." Throughout his speech he remained completely apathetic, seemingly unperturbed by how fucked up that was. I, on the other hand, couldn't contain my repulsion. It bubbled out of me in the form of a question.
"How could you do that? He'll kill you! You know that right? The injuries you have right now indicate a pattern of abuse that's escalating and your body won't be able to handle many more months of this treatment." I watched his face carefully to see how he would react to that. He shrugged.
"Heroin would kill me anyways without him." He reasoned calmly. "And besides, if it weren't for him his lackeys probably would have killed me a long time ago." He was so sure, so indifferent, that it made a cold stone of dread settle in the pit of my stomach. I didn't like it. With a start I realized that I had had the feeling in the past, sitting in the ER listening to a patient calmly and surely explain to me that just because they were saved this time didn't mean they wouldn't kill themselves just as soon as they were released. It was a sense of cold helplessness and the surety that the person across from you wouldn't be around long if they had any say in it. It wasn't that the man was suicidal; just that he honestly didn't see a way out of the situation he was in even when it was obviously killing him.
For a second a thousand questions flew through my head but I stamped them down. It was none of my business how he got to be James' pet.
"Alright then. Get in the car."
/
Jasper-
I stared at the bedspread critically, tracing the cum stains and the blood spots with my eyes and picking out any pattern I could to amuse myself. It was eleven thirty and for the first time in a long time I wasn't high. James had tried to shoot me up before he left this morning like always but I had refused, claiming I wasn't feeling well. He had given me a weird look but left it alone, thankfully not suspecting anything.
Of course to be fair, he couldn't have known it was because of Edward. He'd been coming every afternoon at twelve for the last three days to take care of my shoulder and already I didn't know what I would do when he stopped. For those fifteen minutes I was relatively safe, James didn't dare touch me in front of Edward. Probably because he couldn't afford to fuck up his business deal with him, whatever it was, by doing something Edward so obviously found distasteful.
Whatever the reason, Edward's presence was a ceasefire that I greatly enjoyed. Not to mention he brought me food and actually spoke to me. Between those three things those fifteen minutes were practically heaven. In fact, if James knew how excited I was for noon to roll around and Edward to get here he'd probably kill me in a jealous rage. But even so… my back cramped suddenly and I had to quickly make my way to the bathroom to throw up. The meager contents of my stomach emerged with the first heave and I had to remind myself over and over that I was doing this for Edward that I could get through another hour or so of withdrawal so that I could be sober when he got here. It wasn't like he ever expressly stated that he didn't like me being high but I could see that when I was disdain joined disgust in his eyes. I hated that.
I gagged a few more times and then straightened up, shaking. I leaned hard on the counter, brushing aside used needles to do so, and bowed my head to avoid looking in the mirror. I really hated mirrors, they no longer showed me a face I recognized anyway and it was creepy to realize I'd transformed into a complete stranger. Before I could contemplate it more I heard a knock on the door: Edward. I glanced at the clock and frowned, he was early and James wasn't home yet.
The knock came again louder this time and I bit my lip, my hands tightening around the edge of the counter. I wanted to let Edward in but James had told me the day I moved in with him that I was never to answer the door. Besides, hadn't I gotten the burn in the first place for doing just that? My desire to see Edward warred with my fear of James and for a solid minute I was frozen to the counter, unable to decide one way or another. It was the third round of knocking that made my decision for me. I could bear whatever punishment James decided to dole out but I couldn't bear it if I didn't get to see Edward today.
I sprang from the bathroom and out of the bedroom, yanking the front door open rather violently. The suddenness of it obviously shocked Edward because he stood there with wide eyes and a slightly taken aback expression on his face.
"Edward!" I greeted cheerfully, stepping back so he could enter.
"Hey." He responded, recovering himself and stepping past me gracefully. I admired the way he moved as he did so, it was fluid and elegant and nothing like the way James or I moved. James was all angles and sudden, jerky movements. He looked like some kind of large insect. I on the other hand, moved slower with a constant twitchy nervousness that this house had gifted me with. Edward made us look like broken marionettes.
"Here," his voice broke me from my thoughts and I found a brown paper bag being thrust into my hands, "I got you Burger King today, hopefully you like cheese burgers." I nodded enthusiastically, not wanting to admit that I felt too nauseous to eat anything at the moment.
"Thank you." I say as he nods, his eyes locking on my face and seeming to study it closely.
"You're not high." He stated rather than asked.
"Right." He hid his brief look of surprise behind a frown that pulled his eyebrows together and put a wrinkle in the middle of his forehead.
"James wouldn't give you a hit this morning?"
"He offered but I said no." I told him truthfully, studying the wall next to me so I wouldn't have to look at Edward. I had underestimated how hard it would be to have a conversation with him amidst the disaster that was my home when I wasn't high. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing and I felt disgusting. For the first time all morning I regretted saying no this morning.
"Why did you do that?" He questioned, sounding confused. I suppose that made sense considering I made him take me back to this hellhole the other day strictly to get another hit. I shrugged; not willing to tell him that I had thought it would make him like me more. For a second we stood there in awkward silence but then Edward took control and announced it was time to see to my shoulder.
We go into the bedroom like always and I sit on the bed, blushing hard in embarrassment now that I was fully aware of how disgusting everything was; of what he must think of me for living in it.
"Can you take off your shirt so I can see?" He prompted, pulling me back from my thoughts. I nodded quickly and stripped my t-shirt over my head, throwing it into the pile behind him. It wasn't until I heard his sharp intake of breath that I remembered the bite mark. James had given it to me last night as he pounded me through the mattress, sinking his teeth into the muscle of my shoulder as he came, claiming me painfully. If I hadn't been completely ashamed before I definitely was now. I squeezed my eyes shut and wished strongly for James to get home so I could shoot up. It was a mistake to be sober for this and I wouldn't be making it again.
/
Edward-
It turns out sober Jasper was almost as spacey as strung-out Jasper. Between the time he let me in the door to now—when I had to prompt him to take off his shirt so I could see the burn—he hadn't been mentally there for the vast majority of my visit. He looked uncomfortable and upset which immediately made me think that something had happened to him since yesterday that had caused such a change. A few broken ribs could make someone look that way. It was with these thoughts in mind that I watched Jasper remove his shirt.
I spotted the ugly new bite mark immediately. I gasped softly and couldn't quite suppress the look of disgust that stole across my face. The mark had to have been painful. It was in the muscle of his shoulder, deep enough for all the teeth to have broken the skin and created with enough force to cause bruising to radiate out from the teeth marks. Worse than all that was that the location and positioning of the mark was a clear show of ownership, his subjugation visible on his skin. The idea that someone would ever feel the need to demonstrate such violent dominance made me furious. I fucking hated power plays. If possible my gasp made Jasper even more upset, his shoulders hunched and he kept his eyes carefully pointed towards the floor.
"I'll clean that off too." I stated clinically in an effort to put us both at ease, getting to work on the burn mark first. My role as doctor worked to calm me down and my anger dissipated as I worked. By now tending the burn was so routine that I didn't even have to focus to do it. My fingers worked of their own accord while I talked idly with Jasper. Talking to him was a habit I had taken up the first day here. It was boring and awkward to silently treat him while James watched and so I chatted with him for lack of anything better to do. Most of the time our conversations revolved around the food that I brought him because we honestly had nothing else to talk about. I thought again that I had gotten really lucky when I had ordered too many tacos form Taco Bell that first day. Instead of throwing them away I had brought them to Jasper since I was going there anyways and the man looked like he could use a good meal. Little did I know they'd provide the conversation I needed to do my job, but they had and so I'd brought him food everyday just to make things less awkward. I wondered briefly where James was today but didn't care enough to ask. I liked it better now that he wasn't here.
And besides, with him gone it was finally possible to ask Jasper some of the questions I desperately wanted answered. He was sober for once and clearly wasn't comfortable here in this house which made me really want to known why he stayed.
"Are the drugs honestly worth this?" His head snapped up to look at me, confusion showing in his eyes. It was no wonder really; I hadn't mentioned anything like this since that last morning at my house. He seemed to ponder the question for a minute and then he laughed bitterly.
"You misunderstand." He explained seriously. "I'm not using my relationship with James to get drugs—even though it started out that way—I'm using drugs to escape this relationship. At this point its so bad I…" He cut off and took a ragged breath, completely lost in his thoughts. "I couldn't handle living like this if I weren't high for most of it."
I noticed with interest that he spoke with a high level of intellect now that he was sober, suggesting a fairly smart man hidden behind all the drugs he pumped into his system. I was intrigued. But, even more than that, I was confused.
"If you don't love him and it's not the drugs, why are you with him? Why don't you leave?" He laughed suddenly at that, the sound rather manic.
"And go where? I have nowhere, I'd starve or I'd end up as an even bigger whore than I am now. And that's if I got away, he told me he'd kill me if I ever tried." I looked away quickly, feeling like a dick for bringing up a stupidly simple solution he'd clearly spent a lot of time thinking about and couldn't make work. I was suddenly hit with a wave of fury for James, a knot of black rage lacing itself together firmly in my gut. Where did he get off making threats like that?
Before I could think of a response the garage door banged open across the house and we could hear James stomp in. Jasper immediately gasped and scrambled to pull his shirt back on, simultaneously putting as much space between us as possible. I attempted to school my face, so as not to betray my fury. Jasper had barely slipped the shirt fully on when James stormed into the room with a look of cold wrath painted across his face.
"I knew when I saw your car that you were here." He hissed at me, narrowing his eyes dangerously. I stood to face him, peeved that he thought he could intimidate me that way.
"Of course I am. Like everyday for the past three days." I snapped, my tone clearly implying that he was a moron. James eyed me for a few more seconds as if he wanted to say something but then turned away with a cold dismissal, focusing his eyes on Jasper.
"You and I will talk later." He told him curtly. His voice seemed to promise something darker than his words and I saw Jasper whimper softly. He pressed his body hard back into the headboard he was leaning against as if seeking strength from the wood, his eyes showing real terror. The whole situation gave me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't shake the thought that somehow whatever was going to happen to Jasper was my fault.
"Edward, have you treated his shoulder?" James demanded to know, not breaking eye contact with Jasper in an obvious effort to scare and intimidate him. Seeing such a power play disgusted me and I wanted to punch him. Instead I bit my tongue, I had sworn I would protect James and that was the only reason I didn't deck him. The only reason I hadn't done it numerous times in fact. He and I hated each other anyway you cut it and it was only Keenan that kept us in a functioning business arrangement that didn't end in us brawling.
"Yes." I managed to get out.
"Good. Then you're done here. See yourself out." He dismissed me without looking and my eyes immediately flicked to Jasper once again as I headed towards the door. He looked terrified still, slow tears starting to track their way down his face, and I knew something bad was going to happen to him as soon as I was gone. I didn't like Jasper, didn't respect him, and certainly didn't owe him anything, but I still couldn't leave him to his fate like that.
"James." I said his name loudly and firmly in a way that demanded his attention. He turned to look at me in annoyance. For a second I couldn't find anything to say. My first thought was to threaten him with police involvement if I came back tomorrow to find another mark on his boy toy's body. I couldn't really do that however because James knew as well as I that I would never risk the police raiding James' place and finding something that could possibly lead them back to me. Thankfully that train of thought led me to a better idea.
"Come with me to my car, I have something for you." He looked annoyed and opened his mouth to refuse but I cut him off. "It's a new drug the hospital just got in, causes a pretty wicked high from what I've heard. I snagged you a sample to see if you were interested." He perked up immediately and nodded, following me out the door and to my car like I knew he would. Money was James' one real love in this life and he would drop everything else in pursuit of it. By the time he had taken the sample and we had talked things over I was reasonably certain that he had forgotten about whatever had made him angry. When the door shut in my face at the conclusion of our little chat I felt fairly confident that Jasper would escape whatever punishment James had been looking to deal out earlier.