Well, so begins the first official chapter. Today's victims err… characters are Lucas and Ness. I WAS going to pull out some random yaoi to have Ness and co. stumble upon, but then a certain fanfiction caught my eye. It centered around the familiar pairing, but with an interesting twist. What is this twist? Well, you'll need to read to find that out. Today's fanfiction, He Said, She Said by The Great Chicken Miasma. Who is the he and who is the she? (If you've already read it, you know)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the previously mentioned or any other fanfiction besides the one you are currently reading now as of Saturday, July 4th, 2012. Same with the site itself.

Chapter 1-1

Chicken and Chicks

Two weeks had passed since Ness had first turned on the Laptop, and life was great. To deflect suspicion, they used it separately during the day, but they watched Hulu videos together during the night. Even then, they had a few narrow escapes with the neighbors. Toon was working on his typing skills, but Lucas had caught on superhumanly fast. However, as most things were in Smash Mansion, things did not take long to go to hell.

It was very early morning, and Lucas was his usual self, casually surfing the web. It didn't take long for the boy to stumble upon a new site. Clicking on the link, he found himself face to face with an immense archive of fanfiction stories. Lucas wasn't sure how exactly he got on this site, but that didn't (and still doesn't) matter. He wasted the morning away reading fanfiction after fanfiction, reading about everything from Adventure Time to Regular Show and everything in between. Finally, he came upon the games section. As he was about to click on the link to the Kingdom Hearts fanfictions, another caught his eye. The link was to the Super Smash Brothers stories.

Lucas was confused. Wasn't HE in that tournament. Why was it in the games section then? The psychic decided to assume that by games the site meant sports, which the tournament was. Clicking on the link, he was surprised, confused, and slightly terrified at the amount of stories there were on everyone. He was not sure how to start. Therefore, he clicked on the first story he saw with his name in it.

He read, and read, and read. It didn't take long to suck the young psychic into the story. Suddenly, as Lucas was absorbed in the text, there it was. That one line that boggled the mind so much, many have killed themselves in desperation. Lucas on the other hand, didn't feel confusion. He felt as if he had finally found his destiny. Grabbing a pillow, a pair of chopsticks, and Pink paint, the boy did the unthinkable.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall, Marth sat motionless, deep in thought. For the past few weeks, every night he had heart giggles, explosions, and gunshots. However, every time he came in to check on what his neighbors were doing, all he saw were 3 regular boys playing Monopoly. His own roommates, Ike and Roy, believed him to be insane, but he knew. The tiara prince knew that something was up, and he would not stop until he found out what was going down in Dorm 108.

Unfortunately, there wasn't a single logical answer to how the sounds were made. Marth had ruled out the idea that they were mobsters long ago, and the idea that the boys were just pretend fighting was simply ridiculous. All that the prince knew was that it must have been some foreign technology, and since an advanced Hyrule was simply ridiculous, that only left the Mother residents, Ness and Lucas. Still, he didn't know a single person that had that type of tec. At least, he had not known.

"Wait, what about Red?" thought the prince. "If their worlds were just similar, then maybe, just maybe their world might have a device that's like the one that Ness, Lucas, and Toon Link all share."

With that, a devious and cunning idea came to mind.

"Martha! Breakfast!" shouted a voice from downstairs.

"For the last time, my name is Marth!" cried the prince. While he was deep in thought, his roommates had already gotten dressed were downstairs at the table. The prince broke his trance and hurried downstairs for breakfast.

At breakfast, Toon Link and Ness discussed the odd behavior of their roommate this morning. Lucas had hogged the in-dorm bathroom, forcing his two other roommates to change in the public bathroom downstairs. When they had asked Lucas what was taking so long, he had responded in the worst, most stereotypical womanly accent ever. The two boys could hear tape and paint being slathered everywhere.

Back to the present, the two boys were discussing on what to say to Lucas when he came to eat, when the room turned to an eerie silence. Ness turned his head to see what had caused the room to see what could cause a room to shut the hell up, and saw something…else. The Room turned black, with two spotlights highlighting a scene that Ness and Toon Link would never forget. Standing before his eyes was Lucas What's-His-Last-Name in high heels in a pink handmade skirt. His skirt was stuffed cleverly with pillow feathers to make them appear to be… more desirable.

Words fail to say what was running through Ness's head. The boy sat motionless as Lucas strutted his stuff all the way to Awesome Table (the three had decided on a name for it long ago) as runway music played and sat his butt down on his usual chair. Ness had prepared for the worst humiliation/ Peach beating up Ness because he had put bad thoughts in poor Lucas's mind/ rather awkward conversation with Lucas ever, but none came.

Instead, a flurry of "ohs" and "ahs" came rushing at Awesome Table like bullet fire. Whispers of "Who's the new chick?" and "I wonder if she's single" scattered the air. Suddenly, it all became clear to Ness. Lucas had done such a good job at making himself look like a girl that no one except him and presumably Toon Link knew the truth. The only question was why.

Marth sat back down in his chair, wondering what his next move would be. After the rather…disturbing events of the morning, the swordsman was without a doubt certain that the boys were up to something. For some reason, no one seemed to notice that the "new girl" was only Lucas in high heels. He wanted to take action but he needed allies. Marth turned his head to glance at his roommates. As stupid as they were, he needed help, and they would help him one way or another.

Ike and Roy had come back from a brawl to find Marth in a Let's Have a Chat kind of mood. Usually these involved Marth trying to involve the two in a ridiculous plot that would always fail in the end. Roy began to slowly back away while Ike stood there, somewhat curious on what stupid idea the Tiara Prince had in mind. Marth sat as Roy turned around and dashed out of the room.

"Marth, what is it now?" said Ike.

"I have an..." began the Tiara Prince

"I know you have a fucking idea, Marth!" cursed Ike. "What I want to know is what the hell it is."

"Ike doesn't like my idea. Big deal," resumed Marth. "But what if I could offer you an entertainment device, unlike any you've ever known,"

Ike didn't budge. "Like a television?" said the mercenary, signaling to the T.V.

"Well, yes, but much better."

"How so?"

"I don't know! But I think the boys next door have one."

"Again with the boys! Dear Ashunera, the way you constantly talk about them one would think that you're some sort of pedophile."

"How about I order a month's load of chicken to sweeten the deal?"

At this, Ike perked up. The mercenary had a weakness for chicken. "Interesting, but I don't know who wants me to do this very dangerous task," said Ike.

Marth groaned. "Fine," said the Tiara Princess, "how about a year's worth of chicken, fresh from the farm?"
"Deal!"

A sly grin grew on Marth's face. What Ike didn't know was that he intended to keep the chicken, and let Ike starve. Of course, he couldn't tell Ike that just yet. There was scheming to get done and research to be done against the stupid children who were still alive. At least, still alive for now.

Okay, I admit it. I just do not do long chapters. If anyone has taken the time to notice, I updated the previous chapters a bit, which took a bit. I don't intend to have Marth be a villain for long. He's just curious. Did any one catch my Fire Emblem reference? Anyone? I also want to thank the 10 or so reviewers that took their time to tell me about how they like my story. Read and review to make a good stew! That is a terrible rhyme.