Chapter 2: Gut

Silently, Shikamaru walked toward the majestic front gate of Konoha, the late morning sun beaming gloriously in the sky. He wondered when the star would die out.

He'd woken up before his alarm clock again, and this time he'd waited for five minutes before he realised he would have to replace said device again.

With his rather heavy pack on his shoulders, the shinobi had enough time to lean on the frames of the gate and cross his arms, looking as if he were deep in thought. For a while he had taken to sighing the extra time away, but seeing as how he had visited her, it somehow didn't seem proper.

And then there was that stirring feeling in his gut.

Shikamaru really detested that feeling. That sensation made him feel useless and absolutely helpless, not to mention it reminded him over and over about that time. For a while he calculated the number of days left to his annual month-long visit to Suna, a special privilege granted to him.

About 3 more months, roughly 92 more days, approximately 2, 208 hours, 132 480 minutes and 7 948 800 seconds till he was able to leave Konoha and go to her brothers. Till he could truly visit her, and not just entertain a faint memory of her carved in stone. This comforting fact almost made him smile.

Almost.

"You're going out on a mission already?"

The soft gentleness of the voice made him open his eyes, and he turned around slowly, because he knew who the person was. He nodded in acknowledgment, and left his position at the frame of the gate in order to walk to her. "Kurenai-sensei," he greeted, stretching his arms to the sleepy toddler.

She laughed, a bright trill that filled the heavy morning air, too humid for May. "I'm not a sensei anymore," she smiled, albeit wistfully. "I haven't been one for a long time." She handed her son over to the younger man, and the latter adjusted his hold.

Shikamaru played with the little boy's hand, a small grin settling in his features. He didn't look at her as he answered, his attention entirely spent on the giggling spitting image of his former sensei. He looked so much like his father it nearly made Shikamaru feel uncomfortable. "You'll always be Kurenai-sensei to me," he answered, and it came out as some sort of assurance.

The boy was more awake now, and he touched Shikamaru's face with his other small palm, his eyes shining with adoration. It made Shikamaru's heart sting somewhat, how someone so small and innocent had to be sucked into this tragic vortex of shinobi and death.

He looked up from her son at her sudden quiet, and noticed a small thin line that was her mouth. It quirked into a small, nervous and guilty upward curve, and in her red eyes he recognized a shade of sadness. Her arms were crossed and she'd pulled them close to her body, plus her head was a degree lower than it was a minute ago. She seemed further away from him.

"What?" Shikamaru questioned, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. This certainly wasn't like her. In his arms the toddler kept with his antics, and his touch almost missed the older man's eye. He let out a light-hearted giggle.

Kurenai shook her head, unable to answer. "It-it's nothing."

The boy cocked his head, noticing the sudden tension in the air. "Mommy?" he said softly, concern edging its way into his voice. "What's wrong?"

Kurenai smiled a weak smile, and for a split second she looked as if she was going to break. She inched closer to her son and Shikamaru, tentatively taking the former out of his arms. The toddler didn't complain and wrapped his arms around his mother's neck, securing himself to her torso. "Neji and Shino are coming," the red-eyed woman explained, and the instant she had a firm grip on her child she took three steps back.

Shikamaru hid his worry with a wry smile. "What's this about not being a sensei for a while?" he joked, going back to leaning against the frame of the main gate. Her answer was another one of her calm, subtle grins, and she ducked her head in slight embarrassment.

"Hiruzen's going to miss you," Kurenai told him even though she didn't need to; her son pining away for the closest thing to a father figure happened whenever Shikamaru had to halt his visits.

"I'll miss the both of you too."

She parted her lips, but shut them quickly as Neji and Shino came into view. The pair greeted the waiting trio, and they mussed the small toddler's head of black hair as they turned to leave the village.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Shikamaru told Kurenai as Neji and Shino started out ahead of him. "I promise."

Kurenai laughed. "Don't worry so much," she said nervously, and frustratingly Shikamaru couldn't find a reason for her anxiety. "Hinata usually comes over when you're out on missions."

His mind briefly wandered off to the girl. That's right, he almost forgot... Hinata also had a strange attraction to her ex-sensei and Hiruzen. His heart suddenly went calm, and for some reason his shoulders relaxed. He felt at ease, and even though he couldn't find a logical cause he dismissed it. Shikamaru ran his fingers through the child's hair familiarly, and turned around to head off.

"Hinata, huh?" he said, his mind no longer with his teammates as they walked further and further away from the village. "I guess that's good then."

~X~

Neji flitted through the trees, his brown hair flying along with him. He landed on the soft grass with barely a sound, and acknowledged Shikamaru with a rough nod. Shino walked calmly behind the Hyuuga, his pace steady and slow.

Glancing at the body on the floor, Neji bore no emotion on his face. "You ought to join ANBU," he commented stonily, taking a moment to absorb the success of the mission. After this he headed off to find some wood. Neji didn't realise there was a reason he himself had quit the covert organisation for a reason.

Shino stared at the giant of a man longer than Neji, and after a while he shifted his goggled gaze to the Nara sitting placidly on a rock, sans emotion. "You okay?" he asked, a tiny bit of concern woven into his words, a minute tinge of worry sprinkled in his tone.

Shikamaru stood up, his stomach uneasy again. He'd felt that feeling when he'd stuck his kunai in the man's heart, drawing hot ruby blood. There was a little bit of said mixture on his flak jacket ― the feeling was so much stronger than the last time it almost consumed him. The Nara rested his chin on his palm, staring expressionlessly at the moving blades of grass.

No way...

"Shino," he finally said, but he didn't mean to answer his teammate's question. In fact, he more or less dismissed about anything that had been said since, well, that sensation possessed him. "Did Kurenai-sensei tell you anything important?"

He asked Shino because he wanted ― needed ― to make sure, and even though he'd never really forgotten crucial information Shikamaru almost bordered on desperation. That feeling was making him sick with nostalgia and almost nauseous; if he wanted to function properly the Nara needed to know. He could feel shielded puzzled eyes on him.

A minute passed, and Shino reluctantly said, "No."

Neji came back at that moment, and he dumped the wood onto the fresh corpse. He did some quick seals and breathed fire onto the logs, incinerating the last piece of evidence of their crime. They watched in silence as the flames consumed the vessel of a man who could invoke so much fear in people that they could suffer paralysis at the mere mention of his name. Inside Shikamaru couldn't help but wonder when his time would come.

"Neji," he began as the trio packed their things and decided to cover some distance before settling down for the night.

The Hyuuga looked at Shikamaru, his visage bearing just a little more emotion than before. There was most definitely tire in etched in his features, but there was another emotion that Shikamaru couldn't put his finger on that had inexplicably found its way onto his stoic teammate's face. "What?" he prompted.

Shikamaru felt his lips settle into a tight smile, dark and taut like his shadow and how it stretched. "What was it like, Neji, in the ANBU?"

Neji scoffed a little, then a low snort rose in his throat. After that he just stopped and refused to look at either one of his teammates in the face, insisting they set up camp because the sun was setting and it would be dark soon.

And then, as Hyuuga Neji turned around to go into the tent, Shikamaru caught a fleeting glimpse of his comrade's face. The Nara needed a few minutes to fully process that split second of human vulnerability, and in doing so he chuckled.

Torture, it seemed, befell the people of the ANBU, both past and present.

Perfect.