Disclaimer: Same as Chapter 1.
Chapter 3
The first thing that came back to Red's senses was sound. Muffled, wordless, and multiple voices going back and forth in conversation. As he cracked his eyes, he was hit with a blinding fluorescent lighting from above. Shutting them again in reaction, the Irken began squirming his limbs freely; at least he wasn't cuffed or strapped down on a table. He manages to right himself up and rubs his eyes, dull pains from several places on his body making themselves known from the crash.
"Uuuuugh." The red-eyed Irken rubs his head, as his partner comes into view on his left.
"It's about time!" The irate Purple crossed his arms, looking Red over quickly. Red was relieved his buddy was awake and not dead, but someone had taken the liberty of covering certain parts of his face and body with some primitive gauzes. He guessed some half-assed attempt to provide medical treatment. "Those things kept telling me to wait until you woke up."
Purple pointed one of his spindly fingers across their blank stark white cell to a thick plexiglass wall, where a bunch of unfamiliar beings in white lab coats huddled around each other and gazed in on the Irken Elites with peeked interest.
"It seems Subject Two also speaks English!" One said. "An astonishing discovery!" From another. And the entire group began taking furious notes on their clip boards.
"Hehe, watch this." Nudging Red humorously, Purple faces the group of observers and starts to scratch his butt lazily. Immediately all the scientist gasp in amazement.
"Pruritus relief of the posterior through usage of Subject One's digits…. AMAZING!" "Fascinating!" "Noteworthy!" "Discovery!" The white-coats shouted their unnecessary one-liners and once again scribbled intensively. Purple giggled at their reactions. "Enough! Ah, Subject Two is finally awake." The group of scientists parted to make way for a tall thin man with greying hair in an open white lab coat. "I do apologize for my colleagues' enthusiasms. You're the first two aliens that have landed on our planet alive, and not seriously injured from your… unexpected landing I'm assuming." He waved a hand and scoffed at his own ramblings. "Ah, but where are my manners. You may call me Dr. White, and you are in a classified research facility on planet Earth."
Red and Purple looked at eachother blankly as the 'leader' of the white coats addressed them, knowing full well what the protocol for unknown alien contact was. Don't give away Irk's location, the mission, or overall intentions, play yourself off as peaceful. And make it colorful. Dr. White looked in cautiously as the Irkens nodded to each other in silent agreement. "And what may we call both of you? I'm sure Subject One and Two is not fitting for our extraterrestrial guests."
Both Elites shrugged. Names were okay. Red points to himself, then at his comrade. "I am Red, and this is Purple. We hail from the mighty-eh, peaceful planet of Irk." The quick correction flies by every Earth-'ling' on the other side of the cell, and they seem satisfied with the answer. But Dr. White claps his hands amusingly.
"I see you've played on my own words of coordinating your names with colors. Very clever. It matters little what your actual names are."
Red frowns, his antennae drooping with offense. "But… that actually is our names."
"Ha! What advanced alien race would name themselves after colors?!" Figuring the kidding was intentional, Dr. White waves off Red's counter. Which, in turn, only annoyed the red-eyed Irken.
A lone scientist enters the observation room's left side, carrying a clip board in front of him. "Doctor, the spacecraft is ready for inspection. We managed to put out the rest of the electrical fires." Dr. White smiles and nods at the status update, and the Irkens look at each other nervously. The head scientist notices their change in emotion, and smiles menacingly into their cell. "I hope you both weren't expecting to return to your planet. At least… not after we're done with your ship." Dr. White walks disappears with most of the other scientists, laughing manically in the distance until a heavy metal door is heard closing. Only four scientists are left observing the pair of Irken Elites.
Red and Purple huddle up in front of their white metal cots, facing away from the scientists. "This is bad, we have to call and prep the ship. I had it set to auto-repair before I blacked out." "Okay, but-" Red stops Purple in an attempt to bring up his ship assessment scanner from his PAK, with no avail. "What…" Reaching back, Red feels some kind of smooth metallic fabric covering his PAK; bindings to keep the access ports shut. Purple turns to show his own PAK to Red, revealing a shiny grey tape seamlessly covering its entirety. "They put this stuff on when I tried doing the same thing, except hey tazed me. Jerks…"
Looking over at the remaining scientists, scribbling and muttering something about 'duct tape', Red taps Purple on the shoulder and whispers to him. "Remember that Vortian ploy we were trained to watch out for, during interrogations?" Thinking to himself for a minute, Purple smiles and nods letting Red take the lead. Both Irkens turns and approach the plexiglass to address the scientists. Red clears his throat, politely. "We have to go to the bathroom."
The scientists only stare at both Irkens, and once again utter words of astonishment as they write down on their clip boards.
Red, not amused, crosses his arms and taps his foot. "No, we really have to go to the bathroom." "Yeah, there's no toilet in here!" Purple added, clearly irritated.
Looking at each other again, the scientists shift uncomfortably and talk amongst themselves. Red smirking as their plan started to work and the group of Earthlings walked to the left and disappeared from sight. After a minute, the white wall on the side the scientists walked to creaked and swung upon to reveal four dressed in head-to-toe hazmat suits and flanked by two more holding some sort of projectile weapons.
"Follow us, and don't try anything funny." The suited-up scientist ordered and slowly lead Red and Purple out of the white room and into a white and green tiled hallway. The hazmat suits with guns were cautiously pointed at them and the Irkens were lead down and around the corner to two white doors with little person icons that varied slightly. They stopped and the scientists, once again, observed the Irkens as they stood awkwardly in from of the two bathroom entrances. "The one on the left is for males, and the one on the right is for females." One scientist pointed out, while the others nodded in agreement. Red and Purple looked at eachother and shrugged, gravitating to the left door and pushed it open. Needless to say, their decision produced quite the reaction from the scientists.
As Red and Purple entered the bathroom they felt the scientists' presence following right behind them and the Irkens swatted them away in annoyance. "Hey! A little privacy?" Taken aback by Red's retaliation the scientists raised their hands and backed out of the bathroom, all apologizing profusely.
"Can't believe that worked." Now alone, aside from audible murmurings from the other side of the bathroom door, The Irken Elites began examining the bathroom, stalls, and sinks head for any means of escape. Purple stops and points, silently to an air duct above the end stall. Both Irkens nod to each other and go into said stall, using the toilet rim and each other to boost Red high enough to reach the grate. Luckily it required a little jiggling to come loose, and he handed it quietly to Purple who placed it on the ground. He looked into the air duct and crawled inside, managing to turn himself around to help Purple up. "It's a little tight, but we'll fit." Purple jumped up to grab Red's outstretched hands, only to slip on the wall and accidently kicking the toilets flusher by accident.
The toilet began its cycle, and the sound of panicking scientists can be heard from the other side. "Wait, don't flush! We want samples!" The door barged open, and all four scientists opened each stall simultaneously, with no sign of the aliens to be found. "Guys…" The other three looked over at the scientist manning the end stall, who looked down at the empty filling toilet and duct panel from the grate above. One of the scientist breathed in sharply, panic quickly settling into the group. "Not good."