A/N: This is probably the longest chapter I have ever written and it might seem pointless now, but I assure you it's not. I thought about maybe splitting the chapter in two, but decided against it. It's better this way. Also,I really didn't know that'd I'd be posting this so soon, so amen to me not being completely lazy.
I really hope you enjoy it, though. I appreciate every single review and love to know what you're thinking (especially your theories). Please continue to favorite, follow and/or review! As always, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask!
By the time Hermione had arrived at Grimmauld Place, her son had fallen back to sleep. She frowned at the young boy knowing that when he woke up, he wouldn't remember a single thing about his father. He wouldn't remember about how amazing his father was and how he had given his life to protect him and his mother. It almost drove her to tears just thinking about it.
She looked around and distracted herself by taking time to assess how much the house had changed since she had last visit. It actually hadn't changed much, though. Pictures had been added everywhere and the wallpaper was a lighter color, probably by the hand of Ginny since she couldn't see Harry being bothered to change anything.
A tremor of jealousy ran through her body as she looked at all the pictures of Harry, his wife Ginny and their small son, James. They were the family that she had just a couple of days ago.
She had had a perfect life like the ones Harry and Ginny had. She had finally found the perfect husband, had the perfect child, lived in a perfect house and it had all been taken away from her in the blink of an eye. Hermione knew she didn't deserve what had happened to her. She felt that this was the outcome of a sick curse someone must have put on her. I must have been.
Harry coughed a little, trying to catch her attention. She sent him a small smile. "Sorry."
"It's alright, Hermione." He tried not to frown, but she could see the pity behind his eyes. She followed him into the sitting room. "Make yourself at home. I'm going to go see if I can place another bed in James' room so Landon can have a place to sleep."
Hermione was grateful for her friend. She really was, but when Harry left the room, her thoughts went back to her friends' perfect life and her thoughts became dark.
Shaking her head, she looked down at the sleeping boy wondering how he could possibly look so peaceful when his world when his world had just been ripped apart. She felt the urge to cry again, but ignored it so she wouldn't disturb her son's sleep. Hermione took a deep breath and willed her thoughts away for now.
They were instantly replaced with Malfoy. She had been so confused when she saw him. He had looked so sure that he wasn't there last night, but when she looked into his eyes she didn't see the malicious glare of the Malfoy she used to know. She definitely didn't see the look of a murderer.
She had been so sure that it was him, though. She had been positive that the man that took everything from her was the real Malfoy. Of course, it was just easier for her to think this way, but now she didn't know what to think or even how to feel about him.
Hermione had felt absolutely broken, that much she did know. She didn't know how she would explain to her son everything that had happened, or how she would tell him about his father, or even how to tell him that they would be working with the big scary man, which is what Landon called Malfoy.
Harry ran back down stairs, which was a very welcome distraction. "I put a bed in James' room. You can take Landon up, if you want."
With a small nod, Hermione got up, careful not to wake up Landon. When she was in the room, she noticed the small boy sitting in his bed, looking at her with curious eyes. James really did look like the perfect mix of Ginny and Harry. He was a rather beautiful boy with green eyes and messy, brown hair. He had Ginny's nose and light freckles littering his nose and cheeks.
Hermione sent him a reassuring smile and the little boy reluctantly smiled back. She turned back to the bed and tucked Landon in with the handmade blankets from Mrs. Weasley, which definitely was a comforting notion. She kissed his forehead and whispered, "Rest well my love."
She was about to leave the room, but stopped when she heard noises downstairs. Hermione knew that Ginny was probably home, along with a few Weasleys. Harry was probably letting them know exactly what had happened. She didn't know if she was grateful for that or not.
When a few minutes passed and the noises seemed to lessen, she left the now two sleeping boys and headed down the stairs.
It took maybe a minute of her standing at the bottom step for the youngest witch to notice her. Ginny greeted her with a warm smile and a gentle hug. Harry had definitely let them know, she could tell from the look in their eyes, but at least she wasn't fussing over her. Hermione barely smiled back, but did return the hug. "Hermione, I've missed you."
"I've missed you too, Ginny. I've missed all of you." And she did. It had been a long while since she had visited the Potters and the Weasleys. She pulled away from Ginny to hug Ron, who looked like he was about to burst from the amount of restraint it took him not to hug her to death. He returned the hug, pulling her closer to his chest.
"Oh, 'Mione. I'm so sorry." She froze. He let her go reluctantly and put his hands in his pockets.
"Thank you, Ron." She whispered.
"Harry dear, do you have any tea?" Mrs. Weasley spoke abruptly. Hermione had a feeling she was asking because she didn't want her to feel overwhelmed. She was more than grateful.
Harry nodded and motioned for everyone to go into the kitchen. Everyone but Ginny followed. "Did you want me to go, too?"
"No, it's okay." Hermione told her, feeling slightly bad at how they had to react around her. She hadn't realized that she had just been staring off into space until Ginny cleared her throat. She snapped her attention back to Ginny. "I assume Harry let you all know what happened."
"He didn't tell us much. He only let us know what happened to Nathaniel and that it'd be safer for you and Landon to stay here. Other than that, I'm completely clueless. I think he just didn't want me or mum to jump on you and overwhelm you." Hermione couldn't help but smile. She loved Ginny for not becoming a completely different person with her. "How are you feeling?"
"Sad. I don't know. I'm angry at what happened. I'm angry that Landon had to be there when it all happened. I'm so terribly angry that it happened at all. I'm entirely broken knowing that whoever did this is doing it because of me. It's what they want. They want me to feel like I'm the reason my family fell apart. They want me to blame myself for my husband's death." Ginny nodded along even though Hermione knew that she didn't know about the specifics of that night. "I don't regret helping Harry save innocent people, but I can't help but feeling that it is my fault. Nathaniel would still be alive if I had told him no that day at Flourish and Blotts."
"Hermione, you can't think like that. Nathaniel loved you and if he had been given the chance to start over knowing how it would end for him, he'd still choose to have this life with you. It's horrible that he was taken from you and Landon like this and this soon. It wasn't fair, but don't go and try to place the blame on yourself. You didn't choose to ruin a family." Deep down, Hermione knew Ginny was right. She knew that she couldn't go around blaming herself for what had happened to Nathaniel, but she couldn't help it.
"I know, Gin. I know that it isn't my fault, but it feels like it is. I can feel the guilt consuming me." She hadn't noticed she was crying until Ginny summoned a box of tissues and put them in her hand. Hermione muttered a quick thanks and wiped the tears from her face. "I should go check up on Landon."
"He's asleep. You were just up there." Ginny reminded her. "Plus, you need some rest, too. I bet you haven't slept since last night."
Exhaustion was the farthest thing from Hermione's mind. "I'm fine."
"I'm sure you are, but I think you should rest anyway. I'll have Ron come up with a cup of tea. You know he'll stay here until he gets to speak to you. Let me show you your room." Feeling like she had no other choice, she let Ginny lead her to her room.
There was a simple full sized bed on one side of the room and a small seat on the other. Hermione opted to sit in the seat and waited until Ron came up with her tea.
She sat patiently for a few minutes before the door creaked open and Ron walked in carrying a tray of biscuits and tea. He looked nervous. "Ginny sent me up."
"She said you'd throw a fit if you didn't see me." Hermione smiled lightly, trying to cheer up her friend. "I'm glad you came."
Ron sat the tray on the side table. He handed her a small cup of tea, which she accepted with a small thank you. "I wanted to be here for you… Harry had told Ginny and well, she then told Mum and I happened to be visiting when she did. I practically demanded to come."
"I'm sure you did." She was warmed by the thought of her friends caring so much about wanting to make sure she was alright… well, as "alright" as she could be.
"How has Landon taken the news?" Ron asked.
Her heart started beating slower and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. "He doesn't know."
"He doesn't? Hasn't he wondered where his dad is?"
"He doesn't remember his dad, Ron." She let out a cry of frustration.
Ron froze, but quickly came out of it. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry, Hermione."
"Yes, everyone is so sorry, but that isn't going to fix anything is it?" She said, bitterly. Hermione did feel bad that she was taking on this attitude with someone who did genuinely care about how she was, but she couldn't help it.
"I should go. I didn't mean to upset you." Ron said quietly, making his way to the door. Hermione didn't protest. "Ginny told me to tell you to get some sleep."
Without waiting for an answer, he left the room. Hermione sighed and placed her cup of tea back on the tray. She didn't want it anymore. Suddenly, Ginny's suggestion of sleep was all too inviting.
When Hermione finally woke up, she realized that there was something warm next to her. There was just a sliver of hope that the previous day was only just a nightmare and when she'd open her eyes, she'd see her husband smiling down at her. She knew it was farfetched and when she did finally find the courage to open her eyes, she was greeted with her son cuddled up against her. Though she was a little disappointed, she smiled a little and ran her fingers through the little boy's hair.
"Mumma, you wake!" Landon sat up only enough so he could hug his mother tightly. Hermione melted into the hug and pulled him in closer, allowing herself to feel normal, if only for a few seconds.
"Yeah, love, I'm awake." She said. "How about you go ask Uncle Harry for some food for us? I'll be downstairs in just a minute."
Though he didn't want to leave his mother, Landon nodded and left the room to go find Harry. Hermione got up from the bed and stretched. It was only then that she realized she didn't have any clothes to change into.
Sighing deeply, she cast a quick spell to freshen herself up and headed downstairs, where she could hear everyone in the house moving about. She allowed herself another few seconds of normalcy before she walked into the kitchen.
Harry was sitting at the table, playing with James, while Ginny was at the stove helping her mum cook breakfast. Hermione's heart lurched just a bit. She remembered when her and Nathaniel had mornings like this, hearing Landon's laughs while she made breakfast, cheering his father on at whatever silly thing he was doing. She willed herself away from those thoughts and looked around to find Landon trying to get Molly's attention.
Mrs. Weasley looked down at the young boy with a smile on her face. She was a bit grateful that she had at least come back to help, even if it meant that she would be coddled by the older witch.
Hermione went up to them and scooped up Landon. "What is going on here, love?"
Her son tried to explain, but bless him; it only came out as gibberish of "Unca Won" and his arrival "latah".
"I think he's trying to say that I've asked Ron to come and take care of him later." Mrs. Weasley said sweetly. "I thought they'd both enjoy the time together."
Hermione nodded, ignoring the painful feeling of normalcy. It wasn't very welcome anymore. "That's nice of you, Molly. Thank you."
Mrs. Weasley nodded and turned back to teaching Ginny the correct way of making an over-easy egg. Hermione sat Landon in a chair that was modified so he'd be able to sit comfortably. Her son smiled up at her and then turned his attention to James and Harry.
Hermione swallowed down, not being able to hold down the intense feeling of pain overcoming her body. She turned out of the kitchen and ran back upstairs to her room, startling everyone in the room. She didn't care though, because she couldn't take the normalcy of everyone anymore. Her life had just been ripped apart and everyone was just skirting around the issue acting as if nothing happened. It might have been for her sake, but that didn't stop the pain from rippling over her.
The man she loved wasn't ever going to hold her again, he wasn't ever going to kiss her shoulder and tell her to stop worrying. He wasn't going to do anything ever again and it was killing her.
"Hermione, what's wrong?"
"Leave me alone, Harry. I need to be alone." She sat down on the bed, putting her hands on her knees and choked on a sob. "Please."
Harry didn't leave the room, though. He sat next to her, placing a comforting hand on her back and let out a small sigh. "I know you want to be alone, Hermione. I understand that, but you can't push us away right now. We all know how hard it's going to be for you, but we all also need to think about Landon."
"He's out there smiling and laughing, Harry. I'm sitting here slowly losing every part of myself and he's just so oblivious to it. I mean, I don't want him to be sad or crying all the time, but it's killing me. He just lost his father and he doesn't even remember anything about him." Harry held her close to him, letting her cry on his shoulder.
"Hermione, I'm sorry. I really am, but you've got to be strong. Maybe not now, of course, but soon Landon is going to need his mother." She understood that. She knew that she was eventually going to have to put on a brave face so Landon wouldn't worry. This was something she knew she'd have to do the moment she stepped into the ministry to talk to Harry.
There were actually many things that Hermione had first thought about when everything happened. She had wondered if she could get her hands on a Time-Turner and stop what had happened, though pushed the tempting thought out of her mind when she realized that it could simply happen at another time either way and Landon would be in danger.
Then she thought about using the Time-Turner to back and kill Malfoy before he could what he did, but decided that she'd be of more use to Landon is she wasn't stuck in Azkaban.
She had also thought about going to Malfoy Manor, which also wasn't a brilliant idea considering it had been abandoned for years. She would have gone anywhere she thought Draco would have been. She would have forced him to give her son his memory back. She would have done anything if she had gotten the chance.
Instead, she was sitting here, crying into her best friend's shoulder. She felt completely hopeless. It was far different than when they were trying to defeat Voldemort. They at least had some knowledge as to what had been going on and what was going to happen. All they knew now was that someone wanted to make sure she was right miserable. They weren't failing either.
She stayed quiet for little while longer, trying to stop herself from crying until she finally succeeded and decided that she should get up. "I should go back downstairs. I'm sure Landon wants to see me."
Harry nodded and got up, opening the door for her. "You should also eat something. Mum should probably be finished with breakfast, but if you want something else I'm sure she'll make it."
Hermione nodded and walked out of the room. Once she was downstairs, Landon turned his attention to her and cried for her to pick him up. He wrapped his arms around her neck, hugging her. "Hi there love."
"Hi, mumma. I misst you wots." She smiled at her son and placed a kiss on his cheek. She then turned Mrs. Weasley, which caused Landon to wiggle in Hermione's arms. "Mowwy mates yummy food, mumma. I go wit Mowwy."
"Oh, alright, but be careful." She reluctantly put him down and watched him run over to the older witch. Molly picked him up and smiled sympathetically towards Hermione.
"Dear, you must be hungry. I could heat something up for you if you'd like?" She offered. "Maybe London here could help?"
Seeing how happy and eager Landon was to help, Hermione gave in with a small smile and sat down. "I'm ravished, actually."
"There's some pancakes and bacon. The eggs are a bit cold, but if you give me a minute I could whip some up for you."
"Pancakes and bacon sounds perfect. Thank you, Molly."
Hermione ended up eating more than she thought was necessary, but if it made the people around her feel better than she would have eaten more. Currently, she was settled in the sitting room, watching Landon play with James. She still felt a little ill, but she was able to keep it down with the sounds of Landon laughing. It was actually like a sort of medicine for her.
Ginny had tried talking to her the moment she stepped into the sitting room, but Harry whispered something in her ear and she seemed to think better of it, even if her shoulders slumped a bit in doing so. Instead, she settled on a different subject. "Ron should be coming for Landon soon."
"No! Mumma, no! I tay wit mumma!" Hermione sighed and picked up her son who was now trying to climb into her lap. "We go home mumma?"
Harry gave Ginny a look, which caused her to send Hermione a sympathetic glance. "I didn't think he would react that way. He was so excited about seeing Ron earlier today."
"Mumma, we go home?" Her son asked again. Hermione shook her head.
"We can't go home right now, love. The nice men who work with Uncle Harry are making it nice and tidy again. Isn't that right, Uncle Harry?"
"That's right! And guess what? There might even be more toys in your room when you get back!" Landon seemed to cheer up at the sound of new toys. "I knew you'd like the sound of that."
"I weally get toys, mumma?" Hermione nodded and kissed her son's head. "YAY!"
She laughed a little. "Now, your Uncle Ron is going to be here soon and he's really excited to see you so you'll have to go, okay?"
"Otay mumma." Landon said and she let him down so he could go back to playing with James and his Quidditch toys.
"There's something Harry and I want to talk to you about… but maybe it'd be best if we did so in the hallway." Hermione was weary, but nodded and let the couple lead her out into the hallway.
"I know that Landon wants his room and all, but we were thinking that until Harry can find out more on what happened, it'd be safer if you and Landon stayed with us." Ginny said quietly, mostly because she didn't want Landon to hear, but also because she didn't know Hermione would react.
"Ginny, thank you… I might just take you up on that offer… sort of. I mean, certainly not for long, just until I can find a small place of our own." Harry looked at her as if she was deranged. "I know that you'd rather me stay here until you know I'd be safe, but I'd be imposing. Plus, it'd be good for me and Landon to have our own place."
"I… I just don't think it's a good idea, 'Mione." Harry frowned. "I also didn't think you'd… you know, want to get rid of the house."
"I'm not getting rid of the house. I own it. I just can't go back there right now… It's too much for me." They both nodded, understanding at least that part of her argument. "In regards to whether it's a good idea or not, you may be right, but I can't stay here. I can't put your family in danger."
"We could already be in danger." Ginny reasoned.
"But we don't know that yet, so please don't make me worry every night. For my sanity, it's better if I look for someplace of my own. It would be close to the Ministry, too, of course and it'd be protected with charms. We could even get a secret keeper." Hermione reasoned. Harry and Ginny both nodded again, resigned to argue with the head strong witch.
"What are you going to do about…" Harry cut himself off before he said anything that might hurt his friend. Hermione knew what he was going to say, though.
"What am I going to do about Nathaniel's things?" He nodded and Hermione sighed. "I don't know, yet."
She wouldn't know how to explain to her son why she had pictures of a strange man all over the house, especially when over half of the pictures were of both of the boys together. She also didn't want to explain why his father wasn't around and why he couldn't remember him until she knew he was old enough to fully understand.
"I think you should put them in a closet or someplace where the little one can't get to them until you're ready for him to know." Ginny suggested. All Hermione could do was nod and run a hand down her face. "I'm sorry, Hermione."
"I know, but it isn't your fault any of this happened. I'm just scared… and worried."
Draco had just gotten out of work, wondering why the hell Potter hadn't bothered to show up. He knew it probably had something to with Granger. Thinking back on everything that he learned yesterday, he did actually feel bad for her. Nobody deserved to be hurt and ripped apart like that.
He spent most of the night and all of the work day wondering who could possibly do this to her, to that little boy. At first, he was convinced that it couldn't have been a Death Eater, despite what the man… what he said. Then he started thinking about it more and more. It was a sick thing to do to someone, something that hadn't in fact been done since Voldemort was alive. What if it was a Death Eater?
He had to admit that there were still quite a few of them out there, minor players in the war itself, but still Death Eaters nonetheless. Draco nearly tore his brain apart trying to go through every name he had ever heard around his father or around Voldemort himself, but when it came to someone actually doing something that evil, he couldn't believe it'd be someone that wasn't in Voldemort's immediate circle.
He tried to shake the thought out of his head as soon as it started to form, but it was too late. No, he thought to himself, There is no way my father would risk his life over a muggle-born witch. Draco was positive of the fact that his father cared more about keeping quiet and himself alive than seeking revenge on Hermione Granger. Plus, he had convinced himself that his father did most of what he did because he was scared of how Voldemort would punish him.
No, it couldn't be his father and it couldn't be a Death Eater, it would just be too risky. So that left him back at zero. It had only been a day since he became a part of Granger's life again, but he was sure this time it was going to kill him.
Sighing, he walked down the street to a little muggle café that he never bothered to learn the name of. When he got in, he ordered an ordinary cup of coffee and took a seat at the back of the store. Draco pulled out his notes on the case and ran through them once more.
He still couldn't figure out if it was truly him at Granger's house. He knew he could have easily been forced there by the Imperius curse and then Obliviated to forget the whole thing even happened, but why? What was the point of Granger thinking it was him? What was the significance of it all?
Because she hates you and it'd be easier to believe.
He suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Draco knew he had tormented that girl all through school and had made her cry on more than one occasion but how could he possibly do anything like that to her? He didn't hate her anymore, or even dislike her if he was being completely honest.
He closed his eyes and decided against going home. Instead, he put his work papers away and left the shot. Once he was outside, he walked into the secluded alley and Apparated just inside of the wards of Grimmauld Place. Draco didn't know why he came here, but it seemed like the right thing to do.
Before he even got the chance to think about it being a mistake, Harry opened the door. "Malfoy… what are you doing here?"
"I…. don't know, to be completely honest. Think I just didn't want to be home and figured we could take some more about the case." Harry nodded but didn't move to let him in. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
"Hermione's here so I really don't think it'd be the best idea to let you in." Draco couldn't stop the heavy feeling settling on his chest. He had known Granger had probably stayed the night at the Potter's home and he had known that she would probably still be there.
"She still thinks I… did that, doesn't she?" Harry shrugged. "Don't do that shit, Potter."
"Look, Malfoy, I honestly don't know what Hermione is thinking. She's only been here a day and she's still closing some of herself off. It's all too fresh for her. She'll eventually come around and realize that it wasn't you, but for now I think you should avoid seeing her as much as you can."
Draco didn't have an argument. He only sighed and Disapparated outside of his home. He walked up the little stone pathway and with a flick of his want, the grand, tall oak doors flung open.
Draco didn't know why he had such a big home when he was the only one who lived in it. When he bought it, he figured that it would be better to be prepared in case he ever did happen to so lucky and find a wife. He soon found out that the only people who even wanted to be near him didn't want to be romantically involved with an ex-Death Eater.
Another flick of his wand and the doors shut slowly. He sat down on the leather seat he usually sat in and ran a hand through his hair.
Draco didn't really understand why he was taking the Cooper case so seriously. He could counter that it was because they were using him to do their dirty work, but that wasn't it. He felt actual sympathy for his one-time enemy. He knew that if he had the chance to finally find someone who loved him and then had a beautiful child with them, he wouldn't want it to be torn away from him in the blink of an eye.
He supposed that it had to do with the way Granger would look at him. She looked at him and she saw the face of her husband's killer. He couldn't stand that. Draco didn't know why, but he couldn't stand the thought of Granger hating him with everything she had.
The rational part of his brain told him that Granger was smart enough to see that he really didn't kill Nathaniel, but there was the irrational, irritating part of his brain that told him to panic.
He was so caught up with his own thoughts that he didn't hear the sound of the Floo and the person exiting the fireplace. "Malfoy."
His head snapped up and his gaze landed on a petite, red haired girl. "Ginny Potter, to what do I owe the honor."
"Harry told me you stopped by."
"That doesn't explain why you paid me a visit." He countered.
She looked around, taking in the beauty of the sitting room. "This is quite a big place for someone who lives alone, Malfoy."
He frowned. "Potter, I'd appreciate it if you kept your opinion regarding my living situation to yourself."
"You're right." She turned her attention back to him. "I just wanted to say that you should stay away from Hermione. I know you just want to help and it being your job, I don't have the right to interfere, but Hermione is my best friend and I don't think her seeing you will help her any."
"You came to my house to repeat what you husband already told me." He refrained from rolling his eyes. "I know that I'm the last person Granger wants to see."
"Her last name isn't Granger anymore."
"I'm not calling her Cooper, that's just barbaric." Ginny gave him a harsh look, which he kindly returned.
"You can always call her by her first name." Draco scoffed, he didn't know why but the idea of calling Granger anything other than Granger was weird. "Look, Malfoy, I just came to say that you should stay away from her. That's all. I don't want to stand around and fight with you."
"Then don't."
"So, are you going to stay away?"
"How do you expect me to stay away from if she's always going to be with Harry? Do you forget that I'm a part of this whole thing, too? I'm going to have to be around her and I understand it's going to be difficult for her, but if she wants to find out who murdered her husband, they're going to need me."
"And do you know anything about who killed Nathaniel?" She really hated to be so blunt about the subject, but there wasn't any other way to say it.
"Not yet, though I have been trying to go through every Death Eater I know, but so far I'm coming up flat." Ginny nodded, scared to ask her next question, but she knew he had to.
"Could it have been your father?" Draco stiffened. He, of course, had thought the same thing, but knowing that he wasn't the only one suspecting his father was a bit unnerving.
"I've thought about that possibility, yes." He said, even though he didn't owe the young witch an explanation. "He would do anything to save his own ass, though. He wouldn't risk being caught to go after Granger."
"So you feel that rules him out? The thing is, Draco, who would to not only hurt Hermione, but bring you down in the process?"
"My father is many things, but he never hated me. He was disappointed in me, sure, but he didn't hate me. So yeah, I do think it would rule him out." Except at times Draco found himself doubting these words. If his father didn't hate or resent him, why hasn't he tried to speak to him after he fled?
Then again, his mother had only spoken to him once, through a letter and even that had only been to inform him about money and a better life. He didn't feel like his mother was guilty and she wasn't capable of hating her own son. So why couldn't he shake his head of the thought that his father could have killed Nathaniel Cooper?
"Okay, if you think so, then I'll pass that along to Harry." She walked toward the fireplace, turning to him before she stepped in. "Oh, and Malfoy? If you must come over, please owl before you do so."
Once he saw the green fire signaling him that Ginny was gone, he walked out of the room.
It was hard for Draco to think about his parents and their lack of a role in his adult life. It was true that he didn't really enjoy the way his parents had raised him, but they were his parents nonetheless. He wanted them to know that he was surviving decently after the war. He wanted them to at least care about what he was doing now or how he was feeling.
Sighing, he took off his work clothes, deciding to take a shower to calm his nerves.
Hermione was in the study when Ginny arrived back at Grimmauld Place. She looked at the red headed witch as she exited the green flames. "Where were you?"
"Oh, I went to go talk to Malfoy." Hermione could feel her eyes growing wide. "Don't look at me like that, Hermione. What did you expect me to do? Sit around and let everyone else do something important?"
"It's a Ministry case now, Gin. You shouldn't have gone over there. Not to mention that we don't even know if Malfoy is completely innocent."
"So you don't believe him?" Ginny knew that Hermione hated Draco, and for good reason, but she didn't think that he could possibly be capable of murder.
"I don't know what to believe anymore, Ginny. My husband is dead and the only other person in my house that night was Draco. Now, I know perfectly well he could have been cursed or that it could have been someone else that took a Polyjuice potion, but I can't exactly just give him the benefit of the doubt." She didn't think that Draco would actually be able to go through with murder, considering the fact that he could have killed Albus Dumbledore and didn't. That was also back when he had everything to lose if he didn't, but there was something in the back of her head that kept telling her to not let her guard down around him.
"I see… Well, do you want to know what we talked about?" Hermione nodded, urging her to continue. "I asked him not to come around the house anymore, considering you and Landon will be here."
"Oh, Ginny, you didn't have to do that. Besides, I'm going to be forced to him either way."
"That's actually what he said, so I just told him that the next time he decides he wants to come over, we'd like him to owl us beforehand."
"Wait, did he come over earlier?"
"Yeah, but Harry didn't let him in. That's not all I talked to him about, though." Hermione was still thinking about the fact that Malfoy actually had been there earlier. He was so close to them and she didn't even know. It made her feel uneasy. "Hermione? Are you listening?"
"Sorry, what were you saying?"
"I said that I talked to him about who he thought it could be."
"What did he say?" Hermione's gaze followed Ginny as she sat down across from her. "Well?"
"He said that he didn't know who it could be. I asked him if there was a possibility that it was his father." Hermione did everything she could to prevent the small gasp that came out of her mouth anyway. "He said he didn't think it was him but you could tell he didn't believe it."
"So you think it was Lucius who did it? No one's heard a word about him in ages, Gin."
"Which is why it would have made perfect sense!" She shook her head. She didn't agree with Ginny. If Lucius had been planning something, Harry would have been the first person to know about it. There would have been movement or some sort of proof.
"Lucius Malfoy is a coward who would rather hide forever than to face the consequences of his actions in Azkaban. I don't believe for a second he would do that. Plus, why would he disguise himself as Draco?"
"Maybe he knows that he's been helping Harry catch Death Eaters and thinks it's only a matter of time before his son betrays him?"
"I don't know, Gin. It's a bit farfetched and I just don't think Lucius would risk getting himself caught."
"I don't know, either. I was just trying to help." Hermione smiled a little and nodded at her friend.
"I know you were and I appreciate it." She turned back to her book, but looked back up at the witch across from her. "Have you spoken to Harry about Nathaniel's… about his funeral?"
"It's in a couple of days." She said. She waited a bit before saying the next part. "They wanted to know if you wanted him to wear something specific or if they could use one of the suits he had in his closet."
"I have one for him… I suppose I should go over and pick it out." Hermione had been dreading this. She had mentioned it before that she wasn't ready to back into the house, but she knew that she had to.
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"No, I think I should go alone." She said, getting up from her seat.
"Is that a good idea?" Ginny asked worriedly.
"Probably not, but I'll have my wand out at all times and I'm sure they've added more wards." Hermione reasoned. Ginny relented reluctantly.
The little house by the sea looked normal. It looked as if the family of three still lived there. Hermione felt that maybe if she opened the door, Landon would come rushing to her and she'd receive a kiss on the head from her husband. But she knew that wasn't possible.
She knew that the moment she opened the front door, she would be faced with the reality that she didn't have a perfect little family anymore.
With a deep breath and all the will power she could muster up, she turned the knob and pushed open the wooden door. Everything looked the same and looked incredibly different. She saw the pictures on the walls, moved just slightly out of place. She noticed Landon's toys in the sitting room, pushed to the corner where he liked to play.
She turned away, tears in her eyes and kept walking through the house until she reached Landon's room. The door had been fixed, but she could see that night's events playing in her head like a loop. She pressed her palm against the door frame and felt the darkness of what happened.
Quickly, she rushed out of the room and toward her bedroom. It took all of her energy to push open the door. The bed was made, there was light from the sunset pouring in through the window. There wasn't a single disturbance in the room. She closed her eyes and imagined Nathaniel's arms slipping around her from behind, placing a kiss on her shoulder and telling her everything would be alright.
"I hope so."
She sank to the floor, letting out all of her emotions, choking sobs escaping from her mouth. This was it, the moment she realized she was never going to hold, speak to, smell, or hear her husband ever again. She was never going to see him cuddling with Landon in bed. She wasn't ever going to hear his laugh when she told him about the cute things Landon had done that day.
Slowly, she felt everything slipping out of her reach and she couldn't hold on to save her life. Hermione felt helpless. She knew that no matter what she would do, she would never be able to save Nathaniel. She would never be able to bring Landon's father back.
Closing her eyes, she let herself cry until she felt her body relax. Hermione pulled herself up and took herself to the bed, taking Nathaniel's pillow and pulling it close to her. It still smelled of him and it made her heart skip a beat. She closed her eyes again and let the smell pull her away into a deep sleep.
When she opened her eyes, she saw the room was dark and she realized she had been here longer than intended. Hermione pulled out her wand and with a quick "Lumos", she got up from the bed.
She walked over to the closet and nearly dropped her wand when she heard three sharp taps against the bedroom door. "Granger?"