Chapter 3 (EPOV)
I stared despondently at the Star Wars and Big Bang Theory posters. What was wrong with this guy?
Felix and I were not getting along.
One more comment about the obnoxious sexual and violent content of my Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings framed artwork and I would dismantle his Death Star made out of Legos.
That guy had it coming.
Our mini fridge was divided in half by fluorescent tape and Felix had every object labeled with masking tape with our names on it.
That guy had an issue with sharing. Of course, there was no way in hell he was touching my chocolate pudding. I was saving it for my lady.
I glowered at him from my bed, as I watched him type away on some Deep Space Nine chat room. Hadn't that show been cancelled since the nineties?
Apparently, some girl named CosmicTwilightPrincess was a dead ringer for some actress that played a character from the show. Felix might be a genius, but he was pretty stupid about people. He was furious when I pointed out that it was in fact a picture from TMZ. The logo was in the corner. How could he not know?
I would bet gold coins from the empire that Felix is really talking to a taxidermist named Bob. I would probably have to rescue that poor dupe and make him my squire.
It could be worse. Garrett's roommate was a football player who only spoke in the third person and jerked off on the top bunk at least ten times a day.
Garrett was texting me about this unfortunate event and threatening to use the mighty sword of his family to slice that offending member off.
I missed my best friend.
At least, Garrett's roommate was getting some affection from his hand. I wasn't going to get any satisfaction of the Bella kind in this room. Felix had declared it a fornication free zone and threatened the limbs of my Xena, Warrior Princess action figures.
Who does that?
I tried to read, but his clicking was driving me up the wall.
I could visit my lady, but she was busy making the preppy girls who lived in her dorm miserable with her roommate, the Witch of Harrison Hall.
This wasn't fair.
We had a perfectly wonderful, furnished apartment waiting for us!
I should have probably told Bella that I had rented it. We could be christening it at this very moment.
The clicking and the laughing like a donkey, was making me homicidal. I was seriously considering sticking his Mr. Spock doll in his skull.
Click, click. "Hee Haw. Hee haw."
I jumped up and grabbed my manly bag. "I'm going out."
Click, click. "Hee Haw. Hee Haw."
Not even a good-bye. Those Trekkies were uncouth heathens!
I was going to my apartment with it's HBO and stocked kitchen full of unlabeled snack foods.
It was going to be heaven.
Click. Click. "Hee Haw. Hee Haw."