-1-Tuesday July 3rd-

9:56 a.m.

Slept in this morning. Feeling a little bit lurgy. I think I will pop into the bathroom and spruce myself up.

In the bathroom

It smells rather pingy pongoes in here. I think Gordy might have left a surprise somewhere.

One minute later

Ah yes, a half eaten mouse is behind the toilet.

In the mirror

I have the imprint of my pillow on my face, and my conk has definitely grown two sizes. Double merde. At least my lurker is almost gone, and hardly noticeable if I stand in the right light.

In the kitchen

Vati is off to save lives. Or rather, to work.

One minute later

Mutti has said something to me that is completely not allowed, in fact I would give her a duffing up if I weren't so upset.

She asked me if my nunga-nunga's grew!!!

I looked at her in amazement but she just sat there as if she was waiting for an answer. Does she really think I would answer to such a horrible thing.

One minute later

I'm glad she asked it actually, because if she hadn't I wouldn't be able to display my huge talent for hilariousosity. I told her it was only her mind thinking such a thing because she is so used to her basooma's being a size bigger when she wakes up.

12:30 p.m.

Phone rang.

Of course, me being the only person who takes effort in my social life, picked it up.

It was Ellen.

"Georgia? Is this you? Or err-- can I speak to, um, her?"

"Hello Ellen, this is in fact Georgia, your number one chum."

"Right, well I was- well, Jas didn't' pick up, so- erm, I called you."

I hope once she develops some maturiosity, she will be able to form sentences. She could also so with some pridenosity, especially around Dave the Laugh.

"What did you call about Ellen"

"Right well, I was wondering, what you were going to wear to Rosie's party tonight?"

"I'm not sure yet, I think I'll wear something that says 'I'm and attractive girl who respects herself too much to wear some skimpy clothing'"

"So… erm, a naughty nurse then?"

"Something like that."

1:12 p.m.

It's a good thing Ellen called me or else I would've forgotten that you have to wear a costume for this thing.

1:13 p.m.

I can't think of anything to wear!! There are so many choices, and so little time!!

It has to include the following:

1. It has to show more than half of my body, for sex appeal of course. You can't just go to a Halloween party and look ugly, it's just not logical.

2. Something about it must catch one's eye. How else am I supposed to find another possible Luurve God.

3. Normally, I would say shows off my nunga-nunga's, but I don't think I'll have to worry about that

4. It has to be unique, so that no one else at the party has the same one.

5. It has to make Masimo wish he'd never let me go.

1:30 p.m.

After hours and hours of intense thought, I've come up with the perfect costume!! I will be a Christmas present. Do not worry my American chums, I do not mean me in a little box, with rapping paper on it. I mean that I will be the present. I'll find a cute little outfit, some spray on sparkles to put in my hair, the perfect shoe, a little bow to put in my hair, and VOILA!!!

1:48 p.m.

Called Jas to ask her what she thinks of my idea. She said it was completely brilliant. She is a tip-top mate. Then asked if a playboy bunny was too unsuitable.

"A what?"

"You know… one of those really sexy girls who walk around in practically nothing."

"Well Jazzy, I think that if you want to be the sexiest you can be, then that would be the costume to wear!!"

"Right. Well thanks Gee, you've really helped. Oh, and make sure to wear an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder tonight. It's for the safety of all of us."

She hung up the phone before I could go completely ballisiticisimus on her.

2:00 p.m.

I have found a piece of clothing in mutti's room that is close to what I'm looking for, and will have to do.

It is a little violet-coloured dress, with a see-through part where my basooma's go. (I suppose I'll have to find something to wear underneath it.) The tig says it is 100 silk.

Oh, looky here, it also has lacy basooma holder to go with it, which even though I despise Jazzy for saying it, is necessary for containing my nunga-nunga's.

2:15 p.m.

Now for the perfect shoe. I think I'll have to go buy some, seeing as the last pair I bought were much too small for my feet and ended up having to get cut off my feet.

3:00 p.m.

At the Super Shop with Jas. She's looking for a bra that will push up her nunga-nunga's seeing as she hasn't got any to begin with.

3:13 p.m.

I can not find the bloody shoe section!! It's like this store is twenty shops packed into one.

3:15 p.m.

Maybe I'll ask someone where it is, I mean it can't be too unreasonable, this is a very large store.

I walked down the arts and crafts aisle and went to the Customer Service area. I waited there for a while but no one came, so I rang this little bell that was sitting on the desk.

"Hi there miss, what can I do ya for?"

Blimey, he was more gorgeous than the Sex God and the Luurve God combined!!! And wait, I think he is from Kiwi-a-gogo land!! His eyes are almost sea green, and his hair is golden brown with streaks of heaven. I'm not sure if that makes sense but I'm sure I'll be the last to know.

His nametag read "Greg."

"Uh-- well, er- I was, well"

Brilliant, I was turning into Ellen's cousin.

"Is there something I can help you with?" he smiled and came out from behind the desk.

Come on Georgia, pull it together, you mustn't let him know you're completely bonkers.

"Where are your shoes?"

Well, at least it sort of makes sense.

"Well, they're on my feet."

AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH!!! AHAHHAHAHH!! He is so funny, what a LAUGH he is, oh my.

(at this point I realized I'd gone completely insane)

Then Greg continued.

"But if you're looking for some nice shoes of your own, then they're in section twelve. Here, I'll show ya"

He said something to one of the people in the back room, then led me to the shoe section.

"Here you are miss, just holler if you need me to lead you back to the cash register" He winked then started to walk away.

"Wait!" I couldn't let him go back to his desk and get taken away by some stupid slag who needs help finding the tapes for the stupidly slaggy. No, I must keep him here longer.

"Yes miss?" Phwoar, I love how he calls me miss.

"Well I was wondering, if you could tell me which pair of shoes would look best on me." I smiled a playful smile then sat on a bench they had set up for people wanting to try on shoes.

"Well, I guess I could try"

After looking through the shoes, and occasionally glancing at me, he finally found some.

"How about these?"

Crikey, they were the most marvey shoes I'd ever seen. They were gorgeous silver stilettos in which the quality was equal to the price. And believe me, the price was very expensive indeed.

"They're lovely

"Great!! Here, let me help you"

He gently took off my flip flops, and slid on the brilliant shoes.

"I must have them" I breathed while looking in a mirror.

Greg then came up behind me and whispered into my ear.

"I think they look amazing"

That was it, I could feel my bottom reddening and my snogging energy building.

"Greg, I was wondering," I turned to face him

"Are you busy tonight?"

"No, I'm not actually. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I'm having this party, and I was wondering if you wanted to come?" Yes I know it's technically not "my" party, but I'm sure it doesn't hurt for him to think it is.

In my bedroom

5:03 p.m.

MY LIFE IS BRILLIANT!! I AM THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD!!

Greg has agreed to come to the party tonight, if I will be his date.

5:05 p.m.

Hmm… although the trip to the super store was completely worth it, it seems I have a lot less time to get ready than I'd like. I suppose I won't take a shower, and instead I'll curl my hair for complete bounce ability.

5:38 p.m.

And now for my make-up. It is a Halloween party, so I don't have to go for the natural look this time. I think I'll make my eyes the most noticeable seeing as they are a rather nice shape.

6:00 p.m.

Dressed and ready. I look absolutely fab!! My nose has calmed down, and looks average sized and I have no larkers anywhere.

6:05 p.m.

Maybe I should be early to Rosie's just in case Greg shows up and I'm not there.

6:07 p.m.

Mutti has forbidden me to going to the party wearing what I am wearing. I gave her the speech on how I am seventeen, and should be able to wear what I want to wherever I want to, but she just started yelling and shaking. I left before her nunga-nunga's knocked me out.

6:18 p.m.

I found a nice coat that I can wear, at least until I am out of sight and can rip it off again. I mustn't forget to spray glitter in my hair, and find a little bow.

6:26 p.m.

Off to Rosie's, sparkles and all. I've convinced Mutti and Vati that I am leaving the party at eleven to go and sleepover at Jas's house and that I will be safe if I come into a situation where I am feeling sexually aroused. I doubt I'll feel that way anyway, it's not like I'm Hunky's girl.

6:40 p.m.

And so, the party begins.