A/N: I now have an iPod Touch!!! Micromanaging is easier with PMs and checking my reviews, but it's much, much harder to write since there's no freaking Word on it!!! It makes me very sad… but oh well. Okay, so I'm jumping back on my writing band-wagon, decked out in totally Kevin garb [aka: black t-shirt that says 'ROCK THE COMPETITION 2010' (very Kevin-y in my opinion) and gray sweats with black polka spots on 'em (THEY'RE SO SOFT!)]. Alrite, enough babbling on my behalf. Ahahaha!!! Time to get writing.

Another installment of 'Gwevin and Everything After'. This was the song that truly inspired the entire series. It's so perfect and beautiful and I was going to save it for last, but I didn't becaust……. Yeah. I just couldn't… I wanted to write this one too bad… It's so sweet and heartbreaking… I love this song. Best song ever. Well, one of them. Lol. I loooovvveeeeeee Counting Crows.

Disclaimer: don't own the song. Or Ben 10. although I want to own both. I obviously can't…

'Anna Begins'

I guess I'm just… I don't know. Probably nervous. I mean, not like life's being exactly easy. It's just… Gwen… I love her. I really do. With every piece of me, I'd do anything for her. I'd stop the world. If I could… I only wish. I'd push down a mountain. I'd fight the tide and drown in it. Of course, I would if I could, but even I'm on the side of that being a bit to the extreme. Although extreme happens to be my middle name. It's right next to Ethan. Not many people know that.

My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."

She tucks her knees to her chest. I kept my arm around her, tightly. She tightens every bit of her muscles when she's like that. The girl never relaxes. I feel so bad for her. I wish to help, but with Gwen… It's honestly better not to interfere.


I am not worried,

We've got a few problems. That's one thing I'm fine with admitting. I honestly think I can take care of her the way she deserves. I know I couldn't confess that before, but I believe it now. I think this could work, her and me. The way things are supposed to be are just supposed to be. Maybe this is how it goes. Maybe it's not. I don't know.

I am not overly concerned.

Her lungs expanded one more time, backbone pressing into my chest. She was so thin, so fragile. I thought that my every move could break her, but she was stronger than I'd always thought. We'd been able to get along so far.


My friend implores me, "For one time only, make an exception."

I sigh, wishing this was easier to think through. I don't know what do to with her. I mean, I love her, that much I know. I want to be with her forever.

I am not worried.

But I'm scared about tomorrow.


Wrap her up in a package of lies,

It's going to be busy. Gwen's been beating herself up over this for a long time, planning, focusing, getting ready.


Send her off to a coconut island.

No one wants her to be hurt if it ends up going badly.


I am not worried,

I am really worried. I want Gwen to be happy. I want her to be smiling and crying. Even if it's at the same time, it's fine. I couldn't care less, but as long as she doesn't change her mind at the last minute. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if she did that to me.

I am not overly concerned

Her fiery hair fell across my arm, giving me newfound warmth. But it didn't take away my fears.

With the status of my emotions.

She's depending on me. I am her rock. I am the one she leans on and goes to for comfort, not Ben and Julie anymore. I am the one who is supposed to be there for her forever.


"Oh," she says, "You're changing."
We're always changing...

Tomorrow is going to be huge for us.


It does not bother me to say,

She was mumbling bits. Pieces of words. Strung together. They made no sense. But listening to her seems to calm my nerves. Only a bit. I can feel my hands shaking as I run my finger over her hand, my thumb pressed against the delicate bones just beneath her skin.

This isn't love.

I love feeling her pulse right there, that one sign that her heart is beating. The way she smiles in her sleep makes me want her just that much more. I want to be able to be with her. This has to last forever.


Because if you don't want to talk about it then,

The way she breathes lights up the night, feeling her gentle movements against me without even meaning to. She's so beautiful, so dangerous.

It isn't love.

Not knowing what to do, I just stare up at the ceiling of our room. We've lived in the same apartment for almost a year now. It's my apartment. Since she moved in, it's been brighter. The windows actually let in light. I have seen the sun. I have seen that girl in a whole new wave of light.


And I guess I'm gonna have to live with that.

When you live with her, you know it has to go just a bit farther. You have to keep her close so that she knows you're present. She would see right through me any other way. I had to show her what I really wanted.


But I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey,

But if something went wrong, now or in the future, I would be ultimately dead to her. She would ignore me for the rest of her life, being just that guy that deserves to be left behind.


Or something in between,

Maybe things could stay the same after I made a dumb mistake.

I doubt that.


And I can always change my name

I should always stay away. I should've left and I should've disappeared from her life after that first mission was over. I can't even remember what that mission was now that I think about it again. I mean, how can I remember? I can barely remember her birthday when it comes around and we've been going out for at least two years. It's a miracle we've stayed together.


If that's what you mean.

She shivers in her sleep and I pull her closer to my chest to share the accumulated warmth beneath the blankets. We curl up each night, her tucked tightly to my chest and I keep one arm around her. Tonight was no different. She was relaxed to the finest muscle and I'm scared to death that I'm going to mess up somewhere along the way.

Screwing up is what I do best.


My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."

That's what I'm scare about. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to fear for her because she's pushed me away and I'm no longer allowed to protect her. I have a belief that it's my job to stand beside her and be there for her. I think it's my job to be her rock. It's my job to take the blow and I need to take another bullet for the team and jump over the edge, this being the biggest risk of my entire life.

And I've taken a lot of risks.


But I am not really worried,

If she's sad, I will be too. If she's happy, I'll do my best to do the same. If she's pissed, I'm going to step out of the way and pray for dear life. If she cries, I'll pull her close and take her home so she can hide her tears in my chest.

I am not overly concerned.

God, I am terrified.


You try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself

I've been talking to myself for days, making sure this was what I wanted to begin with. I wanted to make sure that this was exactly what I needed in life. I had to make sure this was the end of all crime. This is the end of all that. I promised her over and over again.


To make yourself forget.

I'm a different man now.

To make yourself forget.

I will not go back to that.

I am not worried.

Here's what I'm afraid of: rejection, denial, crazy nights, incessant crying, hopelessness, loss. With me, odds are that things won't go well. I could mutate in the middle of the ceremony or I could accidentally kill someone. I don't know why I'd do something stupid like that. I force myself to promise that I won't kill anyone.


"If it's love," she said,

"Then we're gonna have to think about the consequences."

If it goes over well, here's what I'm afraid of: we might actually be happy. I might live longer than her. I might die first. I'm afraid of us having kids and me being a terrible father. I'm scared.


But she can't stop shaking

She gives another shiver and she's smiling again, this time wider and she's trying to roll over. I loosen my grip around her waist so she can move freely and her entire body shakes again. The instant she settles back down again, I make sure that my arm is tightly around her without a second thought.

And I can't stop touching her and...

I think this might actually be how it's supposed to go. She's mumbling in her sleep and I love just hearing her voice. It's lulling me closer into dreamland, but I'm refusing that darkness that's threatening to overwhelm my senses. I'm dreading tomorrow. I really am. For good reasons and bad.


This time when kindness falls like rain

She's too beautiful. She's too perfect. She's too brilliant. She's too sweet. I am so wrong for her. Everyone can see it. Maybe it's just the physical attraction that brought us together, but something in my head is saying that it's more than that. It could be destiny.


It washes her away.

And all I want to ask is "Why?" Why us? Why must we be so confused about life itself and questioning every move we make that drives us to the point of insanity.

And Anna begins to change her mind.

I should just stop thinking and let my brain shut down for the night.


"These seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering for days," she says.

Gwen's muttering my name in her sleep. She keeps on saying it, making it sound so purely beautiful and full of grace no matter how short and simple my name was. "Kevin," she mumbled and buried her face in my chest. "Kevie."


And I'm not ready for this sort of thing.

Am I really ready for this kind of commitment? She'll be hiding her face in my chest every night for the rest of our lives. I've woken up with nightmares and she's always there to comfort me, to stroke my hair and to soothe me every step of the way. And I've had a lot of nightmares.

I should give this back to her. I should at least give her this hope and dream of that perfect day that every girl dreams of for her entire life. I doubt Gwen's dreamed of this for her entire life. I'm pretty sure she's dreaming of me right now, so that's not every night.


But I'm not gonna break

Her heart beats like music from a drum, steady and slow, but so strong. She's just talking in her sleep. "Kev…" She keeps trying to get closer and closer to me, but she's already buried her face in my chest. A small sigh of contentment passes her lips. It's beautiful to hear her voice when she's not conscious because it makes her sound like she's in a Dreamland of pure bliss.

And I'm not gonna worry about it anymore.

And some nights, I wish I could be there too.


I'm not gonna bend,

I swear, if she gets any closer, she may leave me no room to breathe. But I'd rather die right there than pull away from her fiery mane and soft skin. She smells like cinnamon and cherries tonight. A strange combination, but with Gwen, it's nice.

And I'm not gonna break.

She's shifting again, quaking with the cold that nips at her skin and she's gotten so close… I find the heart to kiss her forehead, praying that she won't wake up. She only smiles and I can feel it in my heart that I have made her happier than she could ever be with anyone else. Not just by kissing her, but by giving her every piece of me, ready to accept that this is the end of me being that guy who could always screw around in the worst of time. That guy who would trade for things he could never have. That guy who could laugh while facing certain death. I couldn't do that anymore. I now had Gwen to look after. She needed me to get her through. I couldn't risk my life because in the end, she would lose me and I wouldn't be able to stand the guilt if I knew I had recklessly died and left behind the one person who had ever cared for me.

And I'm not going to worry about it anymore.

No more of that… "Kevin." This time her voice was less hazy and maybe more on the tired side, as if she were conscious.


It seems like I should say, "As long as this is love..."

"Are you awake?" Gwen pulls her face from my chest and her eyes are that bright shade of emerald green. "Kev, you need to get some sleep." I can feel her flexing her muscles as if to stretch, but she seems to be breathing a bit deeper now, pulling out of Dreamland.


But it's not all that easy,

I only press my lips into her hair and the cinnamon and cherry scent is overwhelming me. "I know," I mutter, pulling her closer without realizing it. "I just… I just can't stop worrying."

So maybe I should

Her smile is a comfort to see and her eyes are glowing with this compassion that I've seen so many times before, but this one is directed at me. "It's fine. Our wedding is going to be perfect. It's just you and me, Kevin. That's what you have to remember." She has brought one hand up to my arm and runs her cool fingers across my skin. She feels so caring at times like these.


Snap her up in a butterfly net

"It's… I know I'm going to screw up later or tomorrow or-" I got cut off when her lips crashed against mine. She makes sure to press her body against me and keep me so distracted with this sudden attack that I can't think anymore.

And pin her down on a photograph album.

Finally, we part and I find that I'm wanting more and more, but we can't. "Gwen," I sigh. "Gwen, please don't do that."


I am not worried

She runs her finger along my jaw line. "But you love it when I tempt you." She breathes so softly that I can feel the air caressing my face, warm and gentle. "You know exactly what you want and I want to give it to you, Kevie."

The pet name doesn't exactly bother me. It's just weird when she mutters Devie in her sleep too.

'Cause I've done this sort of thing before.

"I don't want to ruin your life." I was afraid to mess up this time. Before, it was life or death. In a fight, one wrong move could kill me and her and even Ben in some cases. But here, I could be stuck living without her for the rest of my life. That wasn't anything I would ever look forward to. I would be miserable without her this close to me each night.


But then I start to think about the consequences,

Gwen's still trying to entice me, making sure that her neck is exposed for me to run my lips along it, but I refrain.


And I don't get no sleep

"You need sleep too," I point out and she just giggles.

"You do realize that I could live without sleep, but I want to sleep so I can be right next to you for the rest of my life. I'd miss nights like these." Her kisses found their way along my cheek and close to my ear.

In a quiet room and...

I pull her nice and close. "Will you cut it out if I get some sleep?"


This time when kindness falls like rain

Her emerald eyes narrowed. "Maybe…" Her legs are wrapping themselves around my torso and she's growing impatient. It's tangible with the waves of passion coming off of her and crashing over me.


It washes me away.

"Gwen," I say, letting my voice take on a warning tone. "We'll have all the time in the world for this tomorrow night." I reach up and let my fingers get severely tangled in her auburn hair. "Can't you just wait until then?"

And Anna begins to change my mind.

She gives a little huff of annoyance. "Kevin…" She makes sure to horribly tempt me first, keeping her breath on me and keeping her lips so close to mine that I'm mesmerized.


And every time she sneezes

I believe it's love and,

"What do you dream about?" I find myself asking. I wanted to know her every thought, her every wish, her every nightmare, her every dream.


Oh Lord,

She races through her thoughts, I can see each image passing behind her eyes, hazy and hidden. Gwen sighs, giving me her most sincere look. "I don't want to tell you yet. You'd freak out even more than you already are." With that she gave a little giggle and curled up into my chest, hiding her face and concealing any view of her face I had had before.

I'm not ready for this sort of thing.

Secrets. Lies. I don't know. But I trust Gwen with my life. She wants me still and I will believe her forever that she will always tell me eventually and I know that she loves me.

I guess that's really all that matters.


She's talking in her sleep.

Her breathing slowly becomes rhythmic and she's gone to the world again, off to Dreamland. She enjoys sleep and nights like these. That means she's still going to love me no matter what. I hope, anyways.


It's keeping me awake.

I stare around our room, dark shadows of gray in every corner, the moonlight casting a long stream of light across the foot of our bed. I was barely able to keep our bedroom a neutral color of gray with Gwen fighting me to paint it a weird shade of green. The furniture was all greens and browns. She thought it represented us perfectly. I just didn't want green walls staring down at me when I slept.

And Anna begins to toss and turn.

She rolls over again and this time her back is against my chest and once again, I can feel her backbone digging into my skin. It doesn't hurt too bad, but it's not exactly comfortable.

I'm never going to pull away from her.


And every word is nonsense,

But I understand

Gwen mutters my name again. "Kevin, sleep." She wasn't quite out cold yet… Oops. And that was definitely a demand.

And Oh lord,

I'm not ready for this sort of thing.

So I give her a tiny chuckle and kiss her hair again.


Her kindness bangs a gong,

"Sleep," comes the demand again. "You're going to need it for the next few nights." She reaches back and pats my cheek a few times. "And I'm not going to."


It's moving me along.

Reluctantly, I drown my face in her hair, drinking in the cherries and cinnamon. "Fine, Gwendolyn."

And Anna begins

"Kevin. Ethan. Levin." This time I got hit a little harder. "Sleep."

To fade away.

I make sure that my hand runs across her stomach, under her shirt. Gwen's cheeks pull tight as she smiles. She takes my hand and moves it a little farther down and makes it rest on her belly. There's a tiny bulge there.


It's chasing me away.

Realization hits me hard. "Gwen…"

She disappears,

Her eyes glow pink this time. "Close your damn eyes."

And Oh Lord,

I do.

I'm not ready for this sort of thing.

"Yes, Kevin. I'm pregnant with your child." Her eyes fade back to green and our room is once again dark with only moonlight as the light. "Shut up, and sleep now. I love you, but my God, you are so stubbornly annoying."

I do. I'm ready for tomorrow, knowing this. She needs me so much more than I thought.

"I'm thinking about Devlin or Melody for its name. What do you think?" she asks softly.

"How the hell am I supposed to sleep if you want me to think of a name, Gwen?"

"SLEEP!"

A/N: hahahaha!! At the end, I ran out of song!!!!!! I was like, CRAPPERZ! But oh well. I like how it turned out. I like it a lot, actually. Gwen can be... annoyingly persuasive... Leave a review. It's much appreciated and definitely the highlight of my day!!!!

~Sky