A/N: I haven't updated in ages...I feel so lazy...I'm on summer holidays as well so you would think I would write more...oh well...

Thanks to: Everyone who reviewed!!!!!

Pairing: SasuNaru

Warnings: Shonen ai, swearing

Disclaimer: Am currently in negotiations to obtain the rights to Naruto but as of yet I still do not own it.

Please read and review.

Shino's Love Letter and Sasuke's Doom

"Dear Sasuke, I get so horn- shit! Have you seen this? Man, this is pretty dirty for a love letter…"

'Love letters.' Barely audible sigh. 'I can get one from any one but why can't I get a love letter from him? Stupid dobe…'

Uchiha Sasuke was currently very pissed (and was sighing!) This was because of one person. Naruto! The guy who didn't even realise someone was in love with him even if they were living together (sort of).

This had made the raven irritable. More so than usually because of constants reminders like a) various couples around the school b) Negi lending him his Ultimate Yaoi Collection (which Naruto is not allowed to be in the same room without supervision) and c) those stupid love letters which Naruto was reading aloud for entertainment.

"…where's that tissue box? Shit, this is going to stain my bed covers…"

'I had to fall for an idiot didn't I? Maybe I have some sort of superiority complex? Hmmmmm…Nah…'

Yes, the current youngest Uchiha was in love with the biggest troublemaker Uzumaki Naruto.

How he fell in love, I personally don't know. Ok, so Naruto had an awesome tanned chest. And great blonde hair. And beautiful blue eyes…And was considered one of the hottest guys in school despite many girls labelling him an idiot troublemaker. So what! Looks weren't everything. But then again Sasuke opened up Naruto more than he ever did. And he actually enjoyed their conversations. And the blonde was the reason most girls don't cry themselves to sleep every night now…Damn, Sasuke really was in love.

"…as beautiful as a girl-hahahahahahaha. Oh, that's priceless. I can't believe she wrote that... Actually now that I think about you do you kind of like a girl. Hey Sasuke, do you have any female cousins or relatives or anything…"

'Sometimes I just want to hit him because he's so blind…'

"Sasuke are you listening to me?! Hello! Anyone home? If you don't answer me right now I'm not going to return the $50 I borrowed. 5,4,3,2-"

"You still owe me."

"Aha! The girly black haired creature speaks. I wonder...is it an intelligent life form?"

"You stole that line from Sai."

"Damn. How did you know?"

"I have my ways…"

'I'm so doomed…'

Yes, you are Uchiha. I feel for you.

--

"Byakugan, this is Painter. Do you read me?"

"My name is Neji."

"…" 5 minute pause.

"FINE! Stupid nick names…This is Byakugan. I read you Painter."

"Good. Dog-breath are you there?"

"Look! Just because I have a lot of dogs doesn't mean you guys can just associate…never mind. You won't listen to me. This is Dog-breath, loud and pissed."

"Beautiful. Butterfly is in position. She's starting to move…"

"Hey, Neji how'd you convince Hinata's friend to do this?"

"Hn, This girl owed Hinata a major favour. I gave one of my……" Another 5 minute pause.

"Neji? Are you there? You've been silent for a while now."

"I'm sorry things just got…yeah. Anyway I gave Hinata one of her favourite yaoi mangas from my collection which aren't available to buy anymore."

"Ouch. I feel for you. How'd Sai get you to do that?"

"He promised not to show up at poker nights for the rest of high school."

"Yes! You rule Neji!"

"Yes, I know. I'm also getting a reward from Gaara later on…"

"Byakugan, Butterfly is out of my viewing range and please note that I can hear everything that you're saying."

"…"

"Butterfly is approaching school." Neji and his emotionless self has returned. Yay..?

"This is Dog-breath. Kyuubi is leaving his station with Sharingan just as planned. They have left the school."

"This is Byakugan. Butterfly is approaching Kyuubi…"

"Ooooh. Sasuke frozen up. Shit! Did you see Naruto's face?! Ha! That's totally MasterCard! Sai hurry up and get here. Me and Neji have an awesome show."

"Yeah, yeah. Just continue describing until I get there. And also…'MasterCard?'"

"You know, like the ads. 'It's priceless.'…Never mind. Butterfly has handed the bomb."

"People are going think you're a terrorist. Just say love letter."

"No Byakugan. It's the bomb, okay. Orders from the Painter."

"Hn,"

"Dog-breath again. Sasuke looks kind of mad. Naruto looks like this is the first time he's received a love letter."

"It is. Girls think he's nice to look at but not to date.'

"Is that why Neji got Butterfly to dress up in a school uniform from some other school?"

"She actually does go to another school but we didn't want her to recognised. We borrowed this uniform from Shino's mum who went to an all girls school which isn't open anymore."

"Butterfly is exiting. Sasuke stormed off. Naruto is looking amazed at the letter in his hands and confused at Sasuke abrupt departure."

"Our work is done, Byakugan, Dog-breathe. Remember to return the walkie talkies."

--

'I have a love letter…'

Naruto was currently in his room debating whether or not this letter was a hoaz.

'It might be. You never know…I'm just going to read it…'

"Dear Naruto,

You probably don't know me but I know you…"

--

"Who wrote the letter?" asked Kiba to Sai and Negi as they were walking back to their rooms.

"Shino," replied Sai with cheerful smile.

"What!?"

--

'Wow…'

Naruto had finished reading the letter. Now he was stunned.

'I didn't know that someone could write such a touching letter…' (Snort. Choke. Laugh. I'm killing myself here…)

--

"S-Shino wrote it! Are you sane!"

"For your information Shino happens to have skills beyond comparison in this area," reported Negi.

"…"

"Basically Shino helps out his sister a lot..."

"Ohhhhhhhh. What are you going to do if Naruto finds out?"

"He's going to blame it on you," Neji replied for Sai.

"What?!"

Sai with a cheerful smile quickly entered his room and closed the door, leaving it only a tiny bit open.

"Neji. Prepare yourself. Kiba. Suck."

*CENSORED*

The next 2 pages of what Kiba had to say and do in response, have been censored for your mentality as they contain abusive language, violence, torture and sexual references.