Katie looked at her reflection in the mirror, messing with her hair. She had her shoulder-length blonde hair down for once but she still wasn't happy with her appearance. She was hiding out in the bathroom at McGinty's feeling more than embarrassed. It had been just over two weeks now since she first slept with Murphy and it became a regular thing. Every few days he seemed to seek her out. Katie spent a lot of time with the boys anyway, they were still escorting her to and from work and when they weren't working she seemed to be with them. She wasn't under any illusions that she and Murphy were together, it was strictly sexual, a friends with benefits type arrangement. They hadn't really spoken about it, it just happened. They would be normal and having a laugh as friends, and then they'd drink and sometimes he would ask her back and give her mind-blowing sex. The mornings after he would be gone early for work and Connor would be there to make her a cup of coffee and walk her to work. When she saw Murphy again they didn't mention what went on with them. It wasn't awkward, but it wasn't spoken about either.
The whole thing was new to her, this casual type thing. It wasn't what she usually did and she knew she was getting a little attached to Murphy despite the fact she knew she shouldn't. Her point was only proven just moments before when Murphy was feeling up a girl whilst she was sat right there, between him and his brother. This girl had a face full of makeup, a skirt so small her ass was practically hanging out and Katie had honestly not expected either boy to be interested when she had come over, being all flirtatious and in Katie's opinion, cringy. But it became apparent quite quickly that the girl and Murphy were already well acquainted and she found a bitter taste in her mouth. She knew they weren't together, she knew it was just sex, yet the attachment she was trying to ignore was there glaring at her now when she was confronted with this situation.
She stupidly hoped Murphy would turn her away, I mean she was sat right there after all, but he hadn't. He had flirted right back, felt her up and acted like Katie did not exist. She fucking hated it. So she fled to the bathroom, trying to gather herself. She needed to calm down, she didn't want to be that girl, the one who couldn't just keep it sexual or be casual, the one who was needy and wanted more. But she was that girl, she really fucking was and now it was obvious this thing with the darker haired boy wasn't such a good idea since he wasn't of the same mindset. She splashed some water on her face, sneering at herself in the mirror. She was so plain, boring, not pretty at all. Maybe if she wore makeup and tarty clothes like the bitch in the bar she could keep Murphy's attention. Who was she kidding? She just wasn't good enough.
She heaved a sigh before walking out, she was surprised to see Connor waiting outside the bathroom leaning against the wall, his coat on and hers in his hand.
"What's going on?" She asked warily as she approached him, letting him slide her coat on her.
"Gonna walk ye back home lass, ye don't have te see this shit." He said with a sigh, he looked mad and she wondered why.
"You don't have to, it's fine Connor." She said softly, not wanting him to cut his night short for her. He didn't reply though, he just led her to the bar and went over to Murphy, muttering something tensely to him. Much to her dismay, he glanced over at her, a weird look on his face. She felt awkward now, she didn't know what Connor had said to him but she had no doubt things would be awkward from now on. She gave him a weak smile, trying to reassure him, to reassure herself not to be that girl, but he didn't smile back. He just turned his gaze onto his twin and scowled before turning back to the girl who was wrapped around him, it made Katie's heart sink just a little.
Connor stormed over, face like thunder and grabbed her wrist and all but dragged her out of the bar, she wasn't sure why he seemed so mad at his brother, this was just what he did.
"Sorry about him." He muttered as they walked home. He fished his smokes and lighter from his pocket and lit up, inhaling slowly.
"It's fine, really. We aren't in a relationship Connor." She said softly, looking out at nothing as they walked.
"I'm not stupid lass, I saw ye gettin' upset. Ye like him, it's obvious. It was a shitty move on his part te do that te ye when ye were right there." He huffed, shaking his head looking disgusted with his other half. Katie blushed a little, feeling caught out that she hadn't really hidden her feelings well from Connor and he knew exactly how she was feeling.
"I'm not good enough for him Connor, honestly it's fine, this just made me realise it." She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair.
She felt a hand grip her wrist and she turned to see Connor frowning at her.
"Don't say shit like that, yer more than good enough for him. It ain't like at all." She couldn't look at him, his face was so serious and concerned it was unsettling her a little.
"I don't wanna talk about it Connor, I just want to go home." She said quietly, making him watch her for a moment before relenting. He still seemed mad, more so now after what she said and she felt awkward. When they got to her apartment, she stood outside the door for a moment. She contemplated inviting him in for a drink or something, a thank you for walking her home when he didn't have to. But she was feeling pretty sour about the revelation of her feelings and how they were not returned and she just wanted to get in bed.
"Will you be going back to McGinty's?" She asked curiously, feeling bad he had left because of her.
"Nah, no point. Just gonna head te bed. Murphy will be goin' back wit' the girl so I don't have te worry about them comin' back here." He replied tensely.
"Thanks for walking me home." She mumbled, giving him a weak smile. He wrapped his arms around her and she relaxed into the hug, letting it soothe her.
"It's alright lass, get some good sleep aye? I'll be here te walk ye te work in the mornin'." He said into her hair before moving away. She nodded and watched him walk back to the elevator before she went inside.
She knew he would be walking her to work since Murphy would most likely be hungover and be with that girl, she was glad it would be Connor, she didn't really want to face Murphy after tonight, she wasn't really sure how that would go with how Connor seemed so mad at him. She just got ready for bed and climbed in, curling up with a sigh. She would have to speak to Murphy at some point, she knew this wouldn't continue. She didn't have it in her to keep feelings out of sex, that much was clear now, and as much as she was enjoying her fun with Murphy, things would turn very sour if they didn't cut it off and just stay friends. She liked him enough to want to stay friends with him.
The next day, she was dressed and ready for work. She felt depressed, like a dark cloud was looming over her. She felt like she wasn't good enough for Murphy, she felt like an idiot for ever getting involved with him and potentially messing up her friendship. She heard a knock at the door and went to answer it, she was shocked when she opened the door to see a bleary-eyed Murphy instead of Connor. He looked tired, hungover, and she was unsure why he was here. He had clearly forced himself to get up and walk her to work despite all of this and even though Connor had been more than willing to do it.
"Uh...I just need to grab my bag." She smiled softly, trying to clear her head and not feel as awkward. He nodded, chewing his thumb as she went inside and grabbed her bag before leaving.
The walk there had been quiet and tense, the air thick with tension. Murphy was being silent and it unnerved her, the boy always had something to say, whether it was ribbing his brother for something, being annoyed at something someone said or even just pointing out pointless shit they saw. 'Look, that pigeons only got one foot!' He was never this quiet and it only made her feel more awkward. She was unsure how to act around him since the night before and she wasn't sure what he and Connor had discussed, if anything. She was relieved when they got to the hospital and she looked at him warily as she clutched the strap of her bag.
"Look, Katie, about last night…" He started, unable to look at her.
"Don't, it's fine honestly." She shrugged, still trying to be the cool girl but failing, he clearly knew she wasn't okay with it. He looked at her looking somewhat contrite and she lowered her gaze, she felt so stupid.
"I don't think we should sleep with each other anymore." She blurted out before she could lose her nerve. She had thought about it all night and she knew this was the only way around the impending heartache.
Murphy frowned at her and she saw him clench his jaw.
"Why not?" He asked as he looked at her, making her nibble her lower lip.
"I can't do this. This whole casual thing, it's not me. I went along with it because I like you, but I can't. I'm getting too attached and last night...I won't lie, I got jealous. So I think it's just best we call it quits." She admitted awkwardly, glancing at anything but him.
"Aye, alright." He nodded, sounding less than happy with this turn of events, but he didn't argue about it and she was grateful. She would have hugged him like she usually did but he seemed pissed and she felt weird about it all now. She was sure she had lost him as a friend.
"Thanks for walking me." She smiled before turning and going inside, unable to take the tension any longer.
She went through work miserable wondering if she made the right choice. She knew it was for the best in the long run but it made her feel shitty. When she left work, she saw Connor stood outside smoking and she felt the relief sweep through her Murphy hadn't shown up unannounced again, she wasn't sure she could deal with it right then. She walked over and when he saw her, he discarded his smoke and beamed a grin at her, closing the gap and hugging her tightly.
"How was work lass?" He asked warmly, making her smile at him, he was always so easy to be around.
"It was good, I only got thrown up on twice today so that's a win." She snorted, making him look at her half amused and half mortified that it was a normal thing in her job, it only made her laugh at him.
"Shall we?" He grinned, holding his arm out to her. She nodded and linked her arm through his as they started walking.
"Talked te Murph." He said casually, making her blanche a little and glance at him.
"Of course you did." She sighed, she didn't know why she was surprised.
"He's pretty upset about the whole thing." He admitted making her frown. Why would he be upset? It was casual, he didn't care, that was the whole issue.
"I'm sure the girl from last night can make him feel better." She huffed. She hadn't meant to sound so bitter but she couldn't help it, it felt like everything was going wrong. Connor looked at her a little surprised by her tone, he had never heard her like that before. She was usually cheery and laid back.
"He likes ye more than ye realise Katie, more than he realises even. I think it's finally starting' te sink in." He said sincerely, making her chew her lower lip with a shrug.
"If he liked me then it wouldn't be so hard for him to try something exclusive." She frowned, getting a little agitated.
Connor stopped and turned her to look at him.
"Hey, I'm not here te have a go and I'm not pickin' sides. Ye know he's not used te this, he's not an exclusive kinda guy. I just want ye te know he does care." He soothed with a small frown, making her look at her shoes, she didn't mean to seem like she was being rude to him, he hadn't done anything wrong. The rest of the way home they just made small talk, avoiding the topic of Murphy with how sensitive the whole thing seemed to be. She wasn't looking forward to dinner now, she always cooked for the pair of them before they went drinking, but now it would be weird and she wasn't even sure if Murphy would turn up. Connor dropped her off at her door and she went inside with a sigh, getting the food ready. Part of her hoped Murphy wouldn't show just so it wouldn't have to be so fucking awkward but she wasn't sure how she felt about him avoiding her completely either. No matter what she knew she couldn't win.
Katie made some fried chicken and fries for dinner, she wasn't in the mood to make something that required effort with her current state of mind. She was dreading seeing Murphy, if he would turn up. She was just plating up when her door knocked.
"Come in!" She called out, as per the routine every day. Murphy walked in and she furrowed her brow when he shut the door behind him, his brother nowhere in sight.
"Where's Connor?" She asked trying to sound casual and not panicked at being alone with Murphy once more.
"He'll be down in a few minutes, just wanted te talk te ye first." He said warily, he looked nervous and that just made her nervous. She nodded and turned her back to him, continuing to plate up the food. She heard his footsteps behind her and he spun her around, completely in her personal space.
Her breathing hitched when he rested his forehead on hers, she fought the urge to kiss him, to melt into him. She had no idea what he was doing after all that had happened and what she had said.
"I fuckin' miss ye already, I hate it." He whispered forlornly, his hands squeezing her hips. She swallowed thickly, trying to keep her breathing in check as her heart ached in her chest.
"I miss you too, but I can't…" She frowned and moved away from him, she was worried if she didn't her resolve would break and they'd end up back to square one. Her cheeks were flushed and she couldn't look him in the eye. She was startled when he took her hand, making her look at him properly.
"Look, I don't know how te do this alright? I'm not...that guy. But...fuck, I wanna try. I wanna try te be that guy for ye." He admitted, looking earnest as he looked her in the eye. She was more than shocked by his words but she still had that nagging doubt and worry in her gut.
"Murph...if you aren't serious then please don't. If you ended up cheating on me, it would crush me, and I can't go through that. So you need to be sure what you want." She said firmly, finally finding some courage. His face fell a little and he looked at her pained.
"I'd never do that te ye. I want te fuckin' try Katie. Yer all I think about and it's been driving' me mad 'cause I ain't ever dealt wit' this before. I don't want us te just be fuck buddies, I want more from ye." He insisted, taking another step closer to her.
She watched him, looking for any sign of uncertainty on his face that might give him away but she was shocked to find none. He seemed certain, firm in what he was saying and it made butterflies bloom in her stomach.
"You really want to do this?" She asked, a small smile tugging at her lips. He grinned with a nod, cupping her cheeks as he leant down and kissed her sweetly, making her melt into him.
"Aye, I do. I want ye te be mine, and I want te be yers. Bit o' a learnin' curve, the whole relationship thing, but I'm sure ye can teach me." He snorted a little, making her laugh. He was too adorable.
"I like the sound of that." She grinned up at him, making him smile as he kissed her once more.
The door knocked once again and Murphy broke away.
"Come in!" She called out again, knowing it was Connor. She expected Murphy to move away from her but he didn't, his hands were still on her face as she saw Connor walk in, glancing to them curiously and smiling from ear to ear when he saw them together. Murphy rubbed his nose against hers affectionately, making her smile shyly and blush. He moved away and she glanced to Connor, he looked like the cat that ate the canary and she squinted playfully at him. She grabbed the plates of food and set them on the table as they all sat down.
"Well, I'm glad ye sorted that shite out." Connor smirked as he popped a fry into his mouth. Murphy snorted, looking at him amused as he reached out and took Katie's hand and squeezed it. He seemed pretty good at the whole affection thing, maybe she didn't need to teach him much after all.
They ate with small talk and banter as usual, Katie listening as the boys fight playfully. She felt much better now things were clear and the idea that she and Murphy were actually together now. She had no idea where it would go but she was happy. Connor was like her best friend and now she and Murphy were together, she was glad things seemed to be looking up and she hoped things would be smooth sailing from here on out. She just fit with the pair of them, she felt right, being by their side, like a little dysfunctional family. She could only smile when she thought about what the future might bring.