A/N: I'm sorry if the sway of this story makes you have mixed emotions because the ups and downs in this chapter will swing your moods so fast they're gonna make a lasting impression
LOL
As for the outcome of this story… I cannot promise anything because I wrote this story as a request and whether the outcome turns out in your favor or not, I hope you'll understand I'm trying to make it as believable as possible.
Empress Satori- Yes…this is all a flashback mostly from Ryoma PoV unless I felt it absolutely necessary to show Fuji's feelings…but since Koichis Gurl wants a more Ryoma based tale Ryoma will express his side and when I do give in-sight on Fuji, it'll be purely for the understanding of readers and not Ryoma. I've also decided late last night when I mapped out the max. of 5 chapters that somewhere in chapter 4 will start back from where Ryoma is arriving back in Tokyo. So this chapter will be flashbacks as well…that means you get to see little scenes and then I may cut to months later from the last scene…
Kawaii-Aikurushii-Kitsune- I'm so glad you'll support this short story as well and I assure you, whatever may happen here will probably not happen in The Risks We Take…so rest assured if you do not like the agony Ryoma is gonna go through for a while…
NdebN- Well it's a secret for now how AtobeXRyo happens so I won't say it… if I have my schedule right, this story will be done by next week anyway…you'll find out between now and then -
Yoshikochan- Glad you liked that little part… I've been seeing to many dramas or so because they always have a scene like that
LOL
But you'll all get a quick updating only if I have time and I have inspiration to write -
Selyn- Like I mentioned, I can't make any promises on how this turns out but Happy B-day anyways - Just as a special towards you, this Chapter has been released along with another chapter from The Risks We Take
Anyway enjoy and Review please!
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Waiting For You
By: MoonExpressions
Rated: T
Summary:
When Ryoma won all 4 tournaments and was declared the Grand Slam, they asked him what motivated him to do it…
"There's someone waiting for me to win…"
FujiXRyo, TezuXFuji, RyoXAtobe Main pairing Unknown for now :P
IT"S BEEN DECIDED FOR 5 CHAPTERS
3 chapters /5 chapters
Written for: KoichisGurl
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Chapter 3: It's Not Easy
A/n: This is all a flashback … In the middle of Chapter 4; it'll relapse back to the present.
Ryoma smiled softly as he brushed back a few strands of hair on Fuji's face. They were riding the bullet train all the way to the ocean where they would spend two days together…no one else just them.
Ryoma looked out the window at the scenery that seemed to stretch on forever. Fuji had fallen asleep halfway here but Ryoma was content to have him leaning against Ryoma. Fuji's hand was holding his tightly although he was sleeping peacefully. It made Ryoma happy that even in sleep, the strength he drew from was from him. Gently pressing his lips to Fuji's cool forehead he inhaled Fuji's scent and engraved it into his mind. It was the little subtly things that he wanted to remember as well as the big ones. Tightening his grip on Fuji's hand he ignored a few stares from couples as they stared at Ryoma and Fuji. Ryoma didn't care, he wasn't afraid, he wasn't afraid to show the whole world he cared for Fuji at all.
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"What do you want to do tomorrow?" Fuji asked looking off into the horizon where the sinking sun was fading off.
"What do you want to do?" Ryoma questioned back.
Ever since they arrived in the afternoon and checked out their hotel room, Fuji and he had done everything they could…they had lunch and went shopping together…went swimming for a while then had dinner and was currently sitting in their bed now.
"I don't know" Fuji admitted after a while. Disturbed that Fuji kept staring off into the distance Ryoma took off his cap and set it aside. He grabbed Fuji's hand in his own and looked at Fuji seriously.
"I think if I say this…it might scare you Syuusuke…but I love you…I really do" Ryoma admitted looking fully into Fuji's eyes although a blush became very apparent on his face.
Ryoma knew he couldn't answer…for goodness sake! They had only been dating for a month and almost 2 weeks! Not only that but he knew without asking Fuji that he was only second best to that special person. Ryoma looked away momentarily. The pain and confusion in Fuji's eyes was making him feel bad.
'Baka Ryoma' Ryoma chided himself, 'Forcing your feelings on him!'
"Ryoma…I like you a lot too but…"
"You don't have to say it" Ryoma interrupted, He knew Fuji was having a hard time trying to state it in a way that wouldn't hurt him but no matter what, Ryoma didn't want to hear it. The shadow that loomed over Fuji was always present and Ryoma knew that no matter what, it was going to be there… for a very long time…perhaps for life…a scar…
Pushing those thoughts from him mind, Ryoma put a smile on his face and held Fuji's hand tightly.
Fuji nodded his understanding and told Ryoma he would go turn out the lights.
Although Ryoma was happy that this was the first time they were going to spend a "real" night together what Momoshiro said to him bugged him endlessly as well.
"You're crazy for going out with him!"
"Why do you say that Momo-senpai?"
"Are you blind or what? He's clearly still in love with Tezuka-senpai!"
"I know…but I can change that…"
"Feelings aren't something you can just change Ryoma…How…why…when did you start having feelings for Fuji-senpai?"
"I don't know how he blinded me Momo-senpai…all I know is that before I knew it, he was occupying my mind already"
"Don't you care that he'll never love you as much as you love him?"
"He will learn to love me as much as I love him…as long as he loves me…"
"He's running from his own things Ryoma…"
"Momo-senpai…love is blind…"
"Ryoma…"
Ryoma looked up to see Fuji sitting in bed next to him.
"What is it?" Ryoma asked softly.
"You just seemed lost in thoughts," Fuji said.
"I was just thinking" Ryoma admitted.
"…" Fuji didn't answer so Ryoma turned towards him. Ryoma didn't say anything as he brought his senpai's lips to his. He wasn't going to let his chance go…he wrapped his arms around Fuji's neck and pulled him on top. Twisting his tongue against Fuji's he gently coaxed Fuji to relax and explore his mouth in the carnal kiss they shared. Ryoma inhaled slightly and Fuji's hand trailed up his thigh lightly…this time…he wanted to give everything for the sake of this love…
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Ryoma felt the cold breeze pick up but ignored the icy numbness it left on his face. He ignored the fact that he had only grabbed a light sweater and was freezing… Everything had been perfect… everything…but the shadow that was never to far from them had once again blinded Fuji and overtook him.
"Kuni!!!"
Ryoma shook his head to rid himself of the image of himself thrashing into Syuusuke a few hours ago. The only regret was that to Fuji, it wasn't Ryoma…it was Tezuka…always Tezuka…
Blinking away the tears that stung the corners of his eyes, Ryoma continued to walk. He had waited until it seemed Fuji fell asleep before he grabbed his clothes and took this walk. He felt dead himself at this moment…he felt as if he had been betrayed at his greatest moment. Suddenly Ryoma thought of something that had flashed through his mind more than once before…
Was it worth this pain in his heart to love Fuji? Was it worth the pain of being second to a memory?
He knew Fuji knew his mistake the moment the name left his lips but he didn't offer any excuses and Ryoma definitely wasn't up to listening to them. Instead of the happiness he had originally thought would take over, a feeling of guiltiness and pain had settled instead. Ryoma swallowed the lump he had in his throat and knew he had to get back soon or else Fuji would notice he had left. He had no one to blame for this… he had made the commitment back there…he had willingly submitted himself into this pain for the one he loved, he willingly said he was willing to wait…
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Ryoma slipped off his clothes quietly when he came in and pulled his boxers on. He slid in next to Fuji's slim body but kept his distance… he knew he was cold…he didn't want Fuji to feel the iciness though…
"Where'd you go?"
" No where… just a walk…" Ryoma replied. He had stiffened unknowingly when he felt Fuji roll over and touch him softly. Unknowingly, he felt himself flinch away as if the thought of Fuji touching him could bring pangs of pain through his chest.
"I'm sorry…" Fuji whispered backing up a little. Ryoma bit back a sigh and faced Fuji in the darkness.
" I just don't want you to get cold Syuusuke… I'm still pretty chilled from the night's breeze."
A moment of silence passed between them before Fuji threw himself into Ryoma's arm and against his chilled body.
" I don't care" Fuji mumbled against Ryoma's neck.
"I won't think of him anymore…I promise" Fuji muttered softly.
Ryoma felt the tears that trailed down his neck from Fuji and knew Fuji had been crying. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Fuji's warm body. He didn't say anything…only allowed Fuji to snuggle closer. Although it was only a hug, Ryoma knew then that this meant he accepted the good and bad that came with Fuji now…whatever happened, he had a chance to walk out tonight and he didn't…he had embraced Fuji instead.
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For the rest of the summer and early fall months, both Fuji and he had busy schedules. Fuji had gradually gotten back into photographing and was helping out a local Photography studio while Ryoma was juggling his job, club activities and school assignments every single day.
"How are you guys doing?" Fuji asked Momoshiro and Ryoma.
"We're not underestimating anyone this year" Ryoma said with a smirk. That was their mistake last year at Nationals… they were so confident, they lost during semi-finals.
"I'm glad you'll be aiming for the title then…you are pursuing Tennis as a professional career as well right Ryoma?" Fuji asked. Although Fuji said that with a smile, the look of pain crossed his face briefly.
"…Aa…" Ryoma said softly and waited till Momoshiro left them alone before he grabbed Fuji's hand softly.
"If I do go professional…I won't leave you behind" Ryoma promised.
"Of course you're going to have to leave me here" Fuji said softly, " The world wouldn't approve of your relationship with a male…"
"I'm not him Syuusuke" Ryoma said sternly, " I'm not Tezuka-senpai…I'm not going to ditch you like that…"
Fuji didn't look convinced so Ryoma pulled him into a tight hug. They stayed that way for a long time. Finally Fuji backed up and nodded slowly, " I know Ryoma…"
"Syuusuke…I love you…no matter what…" Ryoma whispered pressing a small kiss onto Fuji's lips.
"I know" Fuji said and Ryoma knew although he said that, the distant look in his eyes told a different story.
" Syuusuke…You know I'd fight for you…"
Fuji nods and continues to stare with dead eyes at his feet.
Ryoma breathed deeply and held onto Fuji's hand. Suddenly Fuji looked up and kissed Ryoma deeply. Ryoma felt the worry, the sadness in that kiss and tried his best to calm all of Fuji's fears, to reassure him that no matter what he'd be here…until the day Fuji could fully love him…
"I'll see you later" Fuji said immediately with a small casual hug and walked away.
Ryoma stared after him for a long time. It felt as if he was chosen for this…as if his life had led him up to this…to go ahead and fall for Fuji.
"So insensitive" Ryoma muttered. The kiss had muddled his thoughts but to Fuji it could've been the most normal thing that passed between them…even his casual hug kept Ryoma from getting to close from him. It was as if Fuji had taught himself that it was a crime to fall in love again…because to do that was to allow his heart to break again.
Ryoma turned away and clenched his fist tight…was it too much to ask for if he wanted to hear Fuji say once that Fuji loved him?
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It was Early November before the next problem arose between them. Ryoma had just finished moving into Fuji's apartment so they could be closer together and Momoshiro had stopped by to visit both of them.
"Did you guys hear that Tezuka had an injury to his knee and was rehabilitating? It happened at the US Open…"
Even Ryoma didn't expect Fuji to jump up in a panic as he started talking about having to call Tezuka and check on him.
Momoshiro ended up looking at Fuji as if he had a loose screw or two and Ryoma had been speechless at the fear that had entered Fuji's eyes to the way he stood like that. Ryoma tried to mask the pain that crossed his own face but he saw Fuji catch it. Immediately Fuji quieted down and Ryoma turned away to rid himself of this unbearable pain that was building with each heartbeat.
'Would he ever think of me like that?' Ryoma wondered. It had been half a year since they started dating and sometimes it seemed as if they made no progress…
" Ryoma…" Fuji started and Ryoma turned back to Fuji with the best smile he could muster at the moment.
"It's okay… call and check up" Ryoma had said with a smile and turned to Momoshiro to talk about random things. Fuji seemed to linger and Ryoma was happy…that was until Fuji decided to call…Ryoma felt strangely betrayed…but he made no sign to show it…
He kept the burden in his own heart and the tears held inside. His replies to Momoshiro got so blunt and cocky that by the end of the night it seemed as if he had taken his anger out on a normal person. When Momoshiro left he had locked up and stared at Fuji and his bedroom door. It was still close…that meant he was still talking to Tezuka…
Ryoma opened the balcony door and stepped out for fresh air. Only it wasn't air that needed to circulate…it was the tears that flooded out and rolled over his cheekbone.
"I'm fighting a battle I can't win…" Ryoma whispered achingly into the sky. "I'm losing yet I can't stop myself from loving him…I can't…"
Ryoma stayed out there until his tears were spent. Even after the tears left and the pain still ebbed at him he stood out there…as if waiting for a sign…more like waiting to see if Fuji knew he existed.
Ryoma paid no attention to the rising of the sun that peeked out from the darkened sky. For all he cared, he was still standing here. The cold late fall breeze was no longer making him shiver, it was numbing him…
"Ryoma…"
Ryoma turned slightly at Fuji's voice.
"How is he?" Ryoma asked softly. His eyes continued to stare at the rising sun and blink back the fresh tears that threatened to fall…not because Fuji was in front of him, but because he had taken so long to notice that Ryoma had been here…
"He's doing okay…why didn't you come in to sleep…before I knew it, it was already 4 in the morning and you never came in…"
"I didn't want to disturb you" Ryoma said and turned around with a smile.
" Let's go in, it's cold," Ryoma said to Fuji.
Fuji merely nodded but when Ryoma brushed by him, he felt how cold Ryoma was to his touch…exactly how long had he been standing out here?
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Life returned back to normal and Ryoma no longer tried to care if Fuji was talking to Tezuka or not anymore. He constantly reminded himself that HE not TEZUKA was with Fuji. Ryoma continued trying to please Fuji, and when Christmas Eve rolled around and Ryoma got off work early with Christmas bonus, he decided to buy Fuji that Lens he wanted for his camera but didn't have enough to buy last week when they were browsing around.
"He'll like it" Ryoma decided and went running in the opposite direction of home towards the shop. It'd be Christmas tomorrow and it was even snowing lightly…why not indulge his lover!
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Ryoma opened the door to the apartment softly. He didn't want Fuji to know he was home yet…he wanted to surprise Fuji with his gift tonight…
With a grin, Ryoma could hear Fuji's voice from the living room. Slipping on his slippers he felt like a over excited kid who couldn't wait to give their parents a present. Ryoma rounded the corner and started to walk into the living room until he saw Fuji's back that was turned towards him and the phone pressed to his ear.
"I miss you Kuni…"
Ryoma froze. His body refused to move forward after hearing that…it was rare for Fuji to even tell him he missed him… but now to overhear Fuji telling his ex he missed him was killing Ryoma. Ryoma felt his whole world crash at that second…the light-headiness settled in and his breath became more labored as he forced himself to breathe and Ignore the growing pain in his chest…
"…I still love you…"
Ryoma's hopes shattered with those four words. He barely noticed that he dropped the present he had spent so much on or the fact that he had on slippers, he just wanted out…out of this place! Running to the door he opened it and ran out.
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Fuji heard something drop behind him and he turned to see what could've fell. All he saw was a package on the floor and Ryoma disappearing into the hall. Running to the hallway he saw Ryoma pull open the front door and leave immediately.
"Ryoma…" Fuji whispered and dropped everything to go running after him.
"Ryoma!" Fuji called. He, for once forgot that the phone he dropped had Tezuka on the other side…
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A/N: For once I feel like stabbing Fuji but I didn't…
Please stay tuned for the next chapter though… there's more coming
AND
I do know it's the 24th of December that this last part is happening and poor Ryoma…such a thing to hear on his b-day….will elaborate more next chapter XD