Chapter 3: By myself.
I've lost so much.
"I'm so afraid..." He whisper so breathlessly it's almost in-audioable.
I watch him.
I cant move. It's like I'm paralyzed as I see him sitting there hugging himself drowning himself in sadness.
I can't hold on to the thought. What if he is gone?
"I am burried!" I yell laughingly, "By my fathers off tune singing!" He was singing super freak and britney spears, which questioned me about his straight-ness....
My dad turns around pouting, "I can sing!" He protests and stomps into his room while I laugh and knock on his door. "What do you want?"
"I'm just telling you that I'm going for a walk."
"Take your cell phone." He says after me as I grab my coat.
"I got it." I wave it absently minded behind my back at him.
My jeans coat reached down to my knees and fit me like a glove. I stuffed mt cell phone in one of the pockets and take a messenger bag with me that included a notebook and a pencil. I will be heading into the forest and find get lost in it for a while by it's beauty. Good thing my phone has GPS, haha, I love technology!
What do you know. No signal.
Crappy, technology....
Now there's nothing left for me to do than walk around until I find something that points to civilization. But with my luck I would probably end up having to sleep outside here. Not that my dad would notice, like he did the other times.
Wait, don't take that wrong, my father is very responsible, so responsible that he believes that I am safe. He knows that. That's his power.
Similar to mine and ghosts.
He knows if people are in danger or not. Seeming just like mine, but I can only tell if people are dead or not by pictures and I see ghosts or spirits or whatever you like to call them.
"What are you doing here alone?" I hear a voice from behind me in the dark. I spin around on my heels and see a man in a black cloak.
A ghost? I couldn't tell, I was too far away.
"Why is such a small innocent girl like you outside at this time of hour?" He said and stepped towards me.
A ghost. Good, but he can still harm me if he wanted too.
I didn't say anything back and continued to walk. I wouldn't make my father worry because he would sense if I were in danger if I saw it as a danger only. But I just heard it going after me and I took a deep breath. I tried to pretend I didn't see him, hear him. But I did sense him however.
"Don't walk away, please! Help me!" I heard another ghost cry out and I kept walking and passing the dead as I made my way deeper into this dark place.
More and more dead people popped out. It was like I was walking in a cemetry. I've done it before and I never wanted to do it again because they bugged me so much.
"Why don't you come with me? I'll show you a great place."
"No! Come with me!"
They kept yelling and screaming yet I pretended that it was only the wind as I sarted walking faster and faster until their words were distant. They couldn't follow me anymore for some reason. I didn't understand it but wasn't complaining about it.
I sat down beneath a old tree, the forest I was in was half dead and the trees were curvy.
I couldn't see 5 feet before me, it was so misty and foggy I coudn't even tell if it was real. I curl myself up and pull out the paper and the pen. I write down ideas of Sora and the colors combined with the scream.
I couldn't think about it anymore and lost my trail of thought and doodled on my paper that ended up looking like a confused girl in a misty forest.
ME. MYSELF. AND I.
I tried to think of anything that the colors and screams had to do with each other and what they exactly were but it almost felt impossible. I was so bored and tired I began singing tounge twisters.
"A twister of twists once twisted a twist;
A twist that he twisted was a three-twisted twist;
If in twisting a twist one twist should untwist,
The untwisted twist would untwist the twist."
I laughed messing it up a bunch of times.
"Red rubber baby buggy bumpers, red rubber baby buggy bumpers, bp bpb bubbp." I shut my eyes hard while trying to say it quicker and quicker and fail more and more.
I sigh against the tree and look down at my paper...
He saw green and brown, then a scream, blue, and then everything went blank. What does that mean?
Then a idea popped into my mind.
Green and brown is a forest, so he was running in a forest...he screamed and felt air and win burn against his skin as he was falling. Blue...he splashed into water and drowned? But...he's still alive, so, where is he? The sea must've carried him to shore somewhere and he would be laying on a beach. Or wherever. Someone must've found him! Now, but, where did he end up?
That is the question. I fall asleep in my knees and cover my face for warmth.
"What?" I hear someone say in the distence. A familiar voice. The footsteps quickened towards me, "Kairi? Is that you?" It came closer and lifted my arms as I was still sitting against the tree hugging my knees, "Kairi, what are you doing here?" He asked.
I looked up and my blurry vision cleared after rubbing it a couple of times, "Oh, hi Riku." I smile patheticly, trying to look up at him but my sight blurred.
"What are you doing here? Did you get lost yesterday?" He asked furrowing his eyebrows.
"Uhm, n-yes." I give in on lying to him, and get up gathering my things. I stand up and brush everything off of my jeans coat. "I am fine." I assure him.
"I'll take you home, come on." He said taking my arm and guiding me to his car. "Go ahead, get in." He encourages me.
"Sure." I nod and put on my seatbelt. I had a reason for why I was in the middle of no where, but why was he? "Riku, what were you doing out there anyways?"
"I was taking my jog like I always do in the morning."
"In the forest?" I ask jokingly snorting.
"Yeah, it's quiet!" He turns on the engine and drives me home after I gave him directions towards my impossible to find house. We listen to the radio and the heater warms me up immeadiatly until we see my house surrounded by small rose bushes.
"I guess, I'll go, and thanks for finding me and taking me home, Riku." I smile at him as I get out of the car.
"Hold on Kairi, I wanted to ask you something." He stops me.
"What?"
"Do you want to-"
"KAIRI!" A loud voice beamed in joy and I get pulled away from Riku's voice. He didn't notice anything wrong as I saw Sora jumping towards me.
Of course, Riku couldn't see him. Sora wasn't visible to him or others besides me.
"Kairi, I've been looking all over for you!" He says before glancing at Riku and his car. "What is he doing here?" He asked accusingly.
I didn't answer, I mean, Riku would think I was talking to air.
"So, Kairi will you?" Riku pulled my attention again.
"What? Can you say that again?" I ask innocently.
Riku laughed, "Will you go to the dance with me?" He asked nervously.
"NO! Say NO to him!" Sora screams in my ear making me flinch a little.
"I'll think about it." I say to him.
"Great." He said confidently but looking a little like I bruised his ego as he drove away.
"Why the hell did you say that?!" Sora blurted/yelled.
"Why do you care so much if I go with him, Sora?" I narrow my eyes at him shaking my head turning to go inside of my house.
"I just want to protect you!" He says as he appears before me.
"Of what exactly, anyways?"
He shut up and looked down pursing his red beautiful lips..he was very cute, very adorable. I wish he knew I thought that of him, despite the things I've been saying to him.
"I just think you're a sweet person, and I want to have a chance with you!" He hesitates.
"Sora, that is, IF I find you at all. I've never even met you in person. What if I'm not what you think I am? Then what? You don't know much about me." I sounded rediculous as I said that. I've met him. He talks to me, so why do I say things like that?
He looked hurt and sighed, "Fine, Kairi, go with him, I don't care. I might as well die for real." He said turning away.
"NO!" I blurt loudly when he said those things. I blushed when he turned around. "I don't want you to die. I want to meet you too." I whisper sheepishly.
I felt lips against my cheek and he dissapeared.
Why does he do this to me? I don't know him, so why am I so eager for a stranger?
Love is so unfair!
Especially if he's dead, or more like part time dead. What do I have to do to be normal and fall in love with someone normal? Why does it hurt me so much when I think of Sora when he's hurt, or worried of me. I don't want to know. He could be dead for real, I don't know. For all I know, he's a strange boy.
For all I know I could be making all of this up. But that couldn't be because Riku knows about Sora too. Unless I am dreaming this horrible tragic scene in my delusional head. How does it feel to be like Sora? What is going on with Riku and him?
I ask too many questions. No answers. However Sora said he waants to have a chance with me? That seems surreal to me right now seeing how he's not here in person and if I said he was my boyfriend to anyone they would look at me like I was crazy. Even Riku.
Kills me all the time to see that he's such a sweet and kind person to me. It makes me feel good that he cares about me.
L augh all you want,
O thers like me cry,
V arious tears that,
E xplain my feelings.