03

Ginny was there next afternoon, waiting until she met Remus and he looked alarmed to find her sitting there.

'Hi Remus.'

'Ginny,' he breathed, 'you're here alone?'

Ginny nodded. 'I just wanted to come and get this theories book, you said I could come and borrow a book when I wanted.'

Remus smiled and nodded. 'Of course but how did you get in?'

Ginny shrugged. 'The door was open, and if you don't mind me saying so Remus, maybe you should think about locking the door when you're out.'

Remus nodded. 'I usually do. I must have just forgot about it, getting old and everything.'

Ginny smiled. 'You're not old. Not really old anyway.'

Remus gave a wry smile. 'Thank you for the vote of confidence. Would you like a cool drink or something?'

Ginny shook her head. 'No I really should get moving thank you anyway, I'll have this book back to you as soon as I can.'

'No hurry, Ginny. Keep it as long as you need.'

'Bye.' Ginny called as she left and almost ten minutes later while Remus was at his desk Harry poked his head in.

-

Her mum was making dinner when Ginny got home so she kissed her on the cheek, put Remus' books on her desk and went down to help. They had one of the new low fat recipes her mother was trying and Ginny was surprised to find it tasted fabulous. Hermione and Ron joined them flushed and giggling to themselves and after a few bites they excused themselves and went back upstairs.

'They really should eat something,' Molly commented and Arthur laughed.

'Leave them. They are in love; it only happens once or twice if you're lucky they should enjoy it while they are young.'

'Yeah and while Hermione isn't pregnant,' Ginny said dryly.

Her mother shook her head.

'Don't even say that.'

'Why not?' Ginny asked with a wry smile, 'they are horny enough.'

'Ginny!' her mother exclaimed, 'we have a couple of years left, at least.'

Ginny shrugged. 'If you say so. I'm going upstairs to read.'

Her parents nodded and quietly she went pausing at her doorway listening intently from the sound floating down from upstairs. For some reason she could always tell when someone was talking about her.

'She needs to get out more, meet new people. New boys. She can't be a recluse forever…'

Ginny didn't want to hear anymore so she entered her room, ignoring the noises coming from Ron's bedroom. She shut her door and put in her ear plugs and picked up the first book. Halfway through she came to a page with a piece of paper folded up four ways. Ginny frowned and took it out; it was in Remus' spirally handwriting.

19/12

Today Harry's death column was in the paper. I couldn't believe how long I looked at it and how for as long as I looked I couldn't believe it. I wondered what Lily and James would think. What Sirius would think and the longer I looked at it I know that they would never believe it either. I am glad I don't have to believe it. I'm sorry that others do.

Sincerely R.J.LUPIN

Poor Remus, Ginny thought softly. He was more disillusioned than any of them. "I'm glad I don't have to believe it." Ginny knew the feeling and she was sickened by how much she had been absorbed in her own feelings. She was finished with them now and resolved to herself that she'd go and see Remus more often as she was sure she was one of the only ones who did.

-

Harry went to bed early that night, uncharacteristically tired. He pulled off his worn jeans and old jumper that Molly had knitted for him and for a moment stood in the mirror. He was tall, probably not as tall as Ron but definitely tall. He had lost a lot of the bulk he'd had in his last few years of school from little eating and no chance for muscle building. He had some heavy scars across his torso and his neck, none however that stood out as brightly as the one of his forehead. It no longer burned and it no longer glowed it was no longer special, just damn ugly. Yawning he crawled under the covers and slept for what felt like only a few minutes but was probably (isn't it always) hours.

He could hear Remus was still asleep so instead of waking him he stayed in bed and read until he couldn't stand it anymore and went down to fix breakfast. He earned his keep around the house without having been told, not that Remus would but Harry felt obliged. He made eggs on toast knowing well that Remus would be tired after the full moon just a few days ago. It was in those times that Harry had the house to himself that he felt really alone, no one would call in; no one would come by because they all knew Remus wouldn't be up to seeing anyone.
But he was, and with no magic to aid him (he'd lost his wand and didn't want to risk being found by using magic) he set about things that had to be done. So as Hedwig for his only company - somehow she had found him - he sat and he did what he could, he read, he looked over his photo album.

Hedwig would sit and wait and watch him, expecting him to give her some mail, but he never did and before it was dark she would hoot and take off. She probably went to the Weasley's and he imagined they'd taken responsibility for her. Many a times he'd scribbled on a note something stupid like -:

Ginny I am not dead. I am at Remus' house. Please come and visit me and come alone. Harry.

He had hundreds of the same sentence, not always to Ginny, who ever it was that he missed at that particular moment; some for Ron, Hermione, Hagrid and he even remembered writing one, in a slight daze, to Sirius.

He remembered writing a letter to Sirius just after he had died, Harry had attached it to Hedwig's leg, told her to find Sirius and she had just looked at him, her little head swivelling around in a slight confusion.

Eventually she took off and when she came back it was gone, Harry never knew what she did with that letter and many more of those letters but he never questioned it, he supposed she was the one he could trust most to keep his secrets and his moments of weakness safe.

Remus came in to the room quietly, looking weaker and more drawn than he ever had. Harry had stopped bothering to ask him how he was because usually he didn't look to well so he settled for a gentle "good morning" and put the eggs and toast in front of him and Remus smiled slightly.

'I was wondering what smelt so nice, I thought I must have been dreaming,' he said to the young boy with a fatherly smile on his face.

Harry shrugged. 'It was easy, plus I was hungry.'

Remus sighed. 'You have lost a lot of weight. Maybe you should be eating a bit better; I need to start buying more food…'

'Remus, forget it. It's nothing OK? I just need to do a bit of exercise that's all.' Harry told him.

Remus cocked an eyebrow. 'You sure?'

Harry nodded and smiled. 'Relax. Besides I'm costing you enough money as it is.'

Remus was quiet for a moment. 'How's the job hunting?'

Harry sighed. 'No one wants to hire a kid that didn't even go to high school, so I'm aiming a bit lower for the moment.'

Remus stroked his chin. 'You know that there would be thousands of people wanting to employ you in the magical world.'

'Not too subtle, are you?' Harry asked with a half grin.

Remus shrugged. 'You know my opinion on the matter, but while I'm your elder I'm also your friend, and I know you'll do what's right, when its right.'

A few moments later a soft sweet voice rang out.

'Remus? Are you home? The door was open again.'

Ginny's fresh voice echoed through the halls and Harry was paralysed by it for just a moment. Her footsteps came closer and as Harry rushed out Remus cleared his throat.

'I'm in the kitchen Ginny, come through.'

'Hi. Sorry to barge in so early but I finished one of the books I borrowed I thought I'd return it.'

'That was thoughtful of you Ginny, but it wasn't so urgent.'

'Oh well I know I hate people borrowing my things for too long and since I've finished with it… oh do you have a guest?'

Harry swore under his breath, he'd left his plate sitting.

'Oh. No silly me I must of put two plates out for myself; ah well old age does that.'

Harry breathed. Nice cover, Remus. He thought, he crept up the rest of the way to his bedroom and quietly closed the door and locked it and picked up a book to read until Remus gave him word that the coast was clear. It was a couple of hours but Harry didn't mind, he could hear her voice from where he was and as he lay on his bed it lulled him slowly into sleep.