A/N: Alright, so I'm back after an extended absence. I took a bit of a vacation and wrote a ton of oneshots, so I'm very sorry. It was needed though. xD Anyway, thanks to all that review! You guys certainly have patience, I can say that.

Disclaimer: I don't own LOST or HOUSE.

Down on the beach, a beautiful (but random) young blonde woman was climbing into the ocean. As she walked she threw off various articles of clothing but continued all the same.

"Lovely day for a swim," she thought to herself. "It's not like I could actually get pulled far away from shore in the ocean or anything. Best not to tell anyone where I'm going." And with these thoughts she took a deep breath and submerged herself into the water.

………………………………

House had just waded through the thick sand of the island and was approaching Claire's tent when suddenly the island burst into an uproar. People were yelling frantically and were scampering down to the beach, brushing past the cranky doctor. House looked from left to right before raising his eyes up to the sky.

"Why?" he wondered to the clear blue sky and tried to figure out what in the name of Puppies could be going on. He soon found out.

"Someone's drowning! Someone I've never seen before is drowning!" a random man screamed while running down to the beach. He then slammed straight into Houses's shoulder but continued on as if he were too insanely panicked to really care. House stared after him, confused, and was relieved when he heard Claire coming up behind him.

"Who was that?" he asked the young mother, who just shrugged while bouncing her baby.

"Never seen him before," she muttered before heading down the beach herself. "Are you coming?" she asked, more out of politeness than actual concern for House.

"Are you taking your baby with you to where someone might be drowning?" House asked instead of answering, incredulous. Claire frowned and hugged her baby even closer.

"I go everywhere with my son," she snapped. "Everywhere." With that, Claire stormed off wondering why House would dare to question her mothering techniques. House stared after her, shaking his head.

"Well that's a moody one," he said but began to walk to the beach anyway, trying to find someone who would tell him what's going on. Or maybe where he could find some food.

It was then that House noticed that Jack was lounging outside of his tent, seeming to be immersed in some kind of animal in the sand. Intrigued, and a little annoyed, House changed courses so that he was now hobbling towards Jack.

"What are you doing?" House demanded. Jack looked up casually before scowling and turning his attention back to the bug crawling through the sand. He grunted in acknowledgement. "Didn't you see and hear everyone screaming past you?" Now Jack was a little interested and looked back up at House.

"What are you talking about?" he asked wearily running a hand through his short hair. House was astounded now.

"Is that black bug really THAT interesting?" Jack just stared up at House like he was stupid.

"What are you talking about?" he repeated. House now grinned and leaned against his cane.

"Rumor has it someone is drowning down on the beach," House explained. Before he could even get to his punch line though Jack was on his feet and streaking off to the beach, taking off his shoes and shirt as he ran frantically.

"Hang on! I'm coming!" Jack yelled as he ran, thinking that whoever was drowning might be comforted by this.

House just stared after him, once more utterly surprised.

"You're a doctor! Not a lifeguard!" House shouted but Jack appeared not to hear. With an exasperated sigh House began to head over to the beach himself, shaking his head and muttering. "Spinal surgeons," he said, spitting it as if it were an oath. "Always have to save people."

…………………………………….

Fifteen minutes later, Jack was pulling the young woman from the water into land again, coughing up water and leaning her on his shoulder. Somewhere, Kate glowered.

"It's okay… I got her. She's safe," Jack said to the anxious faces on the beach, nodding his head a little at the applause his received. "Thank you… thank you…"

House walked as quickly as possible over to the young woman in Jack's arms and immediately began to inspect her.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked, getting a little red in the face.

"Examining her… she just about drowned five minutes ago," House explained, checking the woman over. "I think she needs mouth-to-mouth or whatever you heroes do." Jack glared but quickly began to set the woman on the ground before pumping her stomach and alternately breathing into her mouth.

Kate's glower intensified… wherever she was.

The intense mouth-to-mouth lasted nearly eight minutes before House interrupted.

"Alright, that's good Jackie," House finally said, literally pushing Jack off the woman. Jack fell and glared up at House.

"She's not awake yet," he snarled, looking ready to give that girl mouth-to-mouth until she was awake and speaking sentences, darnit!

"Give it five seconds," House said and looked down at his amazingly unbroken wristwatch. "Five… four… three… two…"

"Hey!" Jack protested. "That's my thing!" But by this time the five seconds had passed and the young woman spluttered away, coughing and sitting up. Jack stared down at the woman in shock as his eyes bugged out.

Meanwhile… in the crowd…

"You just don't question House," Wilson said from his own spot to Charlie, who was still standing next to him. "He's always right about these sorts of things."

"Huh," Charlie said, rubbing his small amount of facial hair. "That's funny. Jack is always wrong about those sorts of things." Wilson looked over at Charlie, smiling.

"Really? Well that's interesting…" he said, bemused.

"Yeah, who'd have thought it…" Charlie agreed and both men turned back to enjoy the show.

"How did you know that would happen?" Jack demanded, standing up and trying to tower over the other doctor.

"Pardon?" House asked as the young woman who just woke up was helped away from the site by some other random cast members.

"How did you know that would happen!?" Jack shouted, spit flying from his mouth, eyes shifting dangerously, and veins sticking out on his neck. House took the smallest step back and tried to wipe the spit that had fallen on his cheek.

"I've been doing this a long time kiddo," House explained as if talking to a confused five-year-old. "I know these things." Jack's face turned red and he brought a fist up to point at House.

"If you think that you are going to call ME a bad doctor…" Jack began but by this time House was already hobbling away, demanding to be fed.

What horrified Jack the most was that people were now willing to feed House breakfast… because he was a hero.

This could not be good.

…………………………………..

After House received his first meal he began to feel weird. It was like he needed something desperately and in an instant he knew what was wrong. He was having a craving for his "medicine".

Luckily, he had a few pills left in a bottle that miraculously didn't fall out of his pocket during the crash (he was full of miracles today) and his fingers swiftly swooped down to retrieve them. In an instant they were out of the plastic tube and popped into House's mouth, which eagerly swallowed the pills. House decided it was best if he just didn't look to see how many were left and slid the bottle back into his jeans pocket. It would be better that way.

Just then Cuddy walked over to where House was sitting on what appeared to be a log. House noticed and glanced up at her approvingly.

"You look hot," he observed with a cocky raise of his eyebrows, referring to the touchup that Kate had given her. "This isn't for me, is it?" Cuddy just scowled at him and didn't sit where House indicated.

"What have you done now?" she asked. "I thought I heard Jack crying on my way over here." House grinned.

"What was he saying as he was crying?" House asked, not answering Cuddy's original question.

"Something about how he was being overthrown by a sadistic doctor," Cuddy replied coolly and arched her eyebrows. House, however, acted as though this hurt him.

"And you immediately thought of me?" he asked as though utterly surprised. Cuddy rolled her eyes and glared, prompting House to answer the original question. "All I did was tell him how to save a nearly drowned woman. He's just upset because I was right." Cuddy was exasperated and threw her hands into the air.

"House we just got here! We can't already be making enemies with the people living here already! Especially with someone as influential as Jack!" She scolded, finger jabbing in House's face.

"So I should have let the man give this woman CPR until her face turned blue?" House snapped. "I think she deserved better than that."

"Oh please! Those weren't your motives and you know it," Cuddy snarled and stalked away without letting House get the last word in.

"Jerk," House shouted after her, grinning a little when he heard Cuddy scream in frustration. He was going to like it here.

A/N: I know, it was horrendously short. :eek!: Please don't complain about that. I'm having a really hard time with this story so plotlines or ideas are more than welcome if you all want this to continue. Thanks! And since I get the most reviews about this, I promise there will be more House/Sawyer head butting. Sawyer was just sulking this chapter because House is a jerk. Anyway…