I disclaim. I own nothing.

Chapter 3

It was late and the streets were quiet when Tara made her way home. Her steps were slow, lazy, reluctant. There really was never any way to tell just what she'd be returning home to. Her father had many moods. Sometimes she thought that he was bipolar along with being a raging drunk. And though she knew it was wrong, she hoped he was belly up to a bar somewhere. At least then she wouldn't have to deal with him.

Sometimes she thought maybe she was a bit bipolar herself. Because her feelings for her father changed with his moods. Sometimes he drank until he was a sobbing, blubbering mess, and he disgusted her. She'd look at him and feel nothing but contempt. But he cried when he was sober sometimes, too. She didn't hate him then, just felt sorry for him. For both of them, really. After a few beers he could be fun, most fucked up part about that was that was when she loved him most. Because he could be a mean and violent drunk. But he could be meaner and even more violent when he was sober sometimes, too.

Those times, however, weren't even the worse. The worse was when he was so sloppy drunk he couldn't even pick himself up. When she stopped using the window or the door outside her bedroom to get in and out of the house, when she made herself walk down the hall to the living room only to find her father on the floor. Sometimes he'd be bleeding from where he fell, other times he'd reek of his own urine. Once or twice she found him face down in his own vomit.

She couldn't remember how old she was the first time she found him that way. The first time she took on his weight to help him down the hall to the shower. But it was always the same. He'd look at her with eyes that were once a bright green, now dulled and lifeless. He'd give her a smile, a sadder version of the one he flashed when she was a kid, and slur out "What would I do without you, Tara-girl?"

And that's when she hated him. Hated him so fucking much it would erupt out of her in spurts of violent anger that often times scared her. Because she could see what her life would be. It made her feel trapped, feel as if she had to stay. That she'd be stuck taking care of him, cleaning his piss and his puke, taking his abuse, and loving and hating him for the rest of her life. It made her wished he'd just drink himself to death so she could finally be free of him. Then she'd feel like shit because he was still her father. And she did love him.

All these thoughts were still swirling in her head when she reached her house. Every light was on, realized she must have really been deep in thought not to have heard his swearing. He was sober, she knew that from the lack of things being broken. And his words were just that bit meaner.

"Tara! Useless little bitch where are you! Tara!"

Not at all in the mood-to deal with his wrath, dish it back out at him, or sneak into the house-Tara simply kept walking. She didn't know what the fuck had set him off, really it could have been a myriad of things, but she didn't feel the need to try to figure it out. So she waited until she was two doors down before cutting through the neighbors yard and hopping the gate. Giving a audible sigh of relief when her feet hit the ground.

This house was dark, but the empty driveway was a clue that it would be. She considered climbing through the back window, but dismissed that thought when she remembered the last time she'd done that. Breaking someone's shit was not the way to get them to let you crash at their place. She went to the backdoor, backdoors were always open in Charming.

"You'd make a really shitty cat burglar, you know that."

Tara jumped several feet even as she glared at the large boy filling the doorway. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I live here."

Tara rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. I thought you'd be out with Jax."

Opie shrugged his shoulders. "Decided to call it an early night."

"Oh," She wanted to ask why. To ask what they had been doing before heading their separate ways. Wanted to know everything Jax had done and said since he walked out of Eglee's. But she didn't trust Opie not to go back and tell Jax she'd been asking about him. The last thing she needed was his ego getting any bigger.

"Well," Pushing the screen door open, Opie stepped back to allow Tara to enter.

"Thanks," Moving by him, she went straight to the living room. Dropping down onto a corner of the couch she quickly snatched up the remote, idly flipping through the channels. Moments later Opie came in with a quilt under one arm and a pillow under the other.

Without a word he dropped the items onto the couch beside her before holding his hand out for the remote. She could have fought him on it, well not physically, but argued until he got sick of dealing with her and just let her have her way. But she didn't feel like arguing, didn't even feel like talking. Which was the upside of spending time with the Winstons. They weren't much on talk either.

Little more than an hour later, Tara had stripped out of her shoes and her jeans and was lightly dozing on the couch when Opie finally spoke.

"What's this I hear about you going out with MJ and Fain this weekend?"

Tara kind of loved the way he asked. As if the mere thought of her going out with MJ and Fain was just absurd. "They found this bar in Lodi. Music and dancing, Candy wanted to check it out."

"It's going to be lame and you're going to be pissed because of it."

She merely shrugged and didn't really care if he caught the movement or not.

"Did Jax tell you about the party at the clubhouse on Saturday?"

The fact that just the mention of Jax brought a sleepy smile to her lips should have been disturbing and maybe it would have been if she was aware she'd done it. Or the fact that Opie saw it. "No. Uh, Kozik did."

"You should come."

No longer just dozing, but slipping deeper into sleep, Tara mumbled something completely unintelligible.

"Think about it." Opie clicked off the TV, tossed the remote back into the chair. "Jax really wants you to come."

Once again a sleepy smile curled her lips just before she dropped off into dreams of messy blond hair and bright blue eyes.

"Your brother fucking sucks."

"Yeah, I know."

Tara and Candy walked aimlessly through the darkened streets. While MJ and Fain had been eager to go out, like a couple of old men, they were ready to call it a night by ten. The band they actually went to see hadn't even taken the stage by ten. Tara and Candy had not been pleased, but headed back to Charming none the less. Though neither girl was ready to call the night a complete bust and were running through their options to salvage it.

"Stealing his car was inspired." Candy nodded as if tipping her hat to Tara.

"I thought so."

"Parking it illegally at the school was just kind of mean."

Tara gave a careless shrug. "More your idea than mine."

Realizing that was actually true, Candy nodded. "What's David up to tonight?" After spending a few hours with her brother and his friend the last group of people she really wanted to be bothered with was a bunch of football players, but desperate times.

"He's visiting his grandparents in Santa Monica. You know," Tara began in what she hoped was a casual tone. "Kozik invited me to a party over at the clubhouse."

"A SAMCRO party." Candy's eyes lit up with the prospect even as her stomach twisted nervously. "I don't know, Tara. My dad would kill me if he found out."

The corners of Tara's lips turned up just a bit. "How is he going to find out?"

A block away from the clubhouse they could hear the music, the roar of bikes, and the sounds of a party growing quickly out of hand. Tara's heart was pounding. She and Jax haven't had anything resembling an actual conversation since he walked out of Eglee's days before. He still sat behind her in English, still sat forward in his desk so that she felt his breath on her neck. And sometimes in the hall, he'd come up close behind her, joining in on whatever conversation was going on but never really acknowledging her.

His behavior did bother her, actually it pissed her off. But Tara tried not to think about it too much. She was well aware of how men were when they were in a mood. David could actually be the same way when she did something he didn't like. She kind of wanted to mention that to Jax for no other reason than to piss him off. She had decided to just leave him alone, let him work out his shit alone since that was how she preferred to handle things. It wasn't until she realized he was teasing her-that the little touches and the way he blew on her neck was actually some form of punishment-that she decided enough was enough.

Two could totally play that game.

"Why are all of these women naked?"

Tara didn't know why she was surprised to hear the scandalized tone in Candy's voice. Candy may have bucked her parents rules every now and again, but parties with SAMCRO were not an Eglee norm. "It saves time later on."

Candy blanched. "And your dad use to bring you to these when you were a kid."

Not knowing how to answer that, or even why she revealed that bit of information to her friend, Tara only shrugged. Yeah her father would come to these parties, but he'd always leave her locked in the car with strict orders not to get out. Once or twice Tara could remember falling asleep in the backseat of the Cutlass and waking up on Gemma Teller's couch. She didn't know if it was Gemma, John Teller, or Piney who finally got in her dad's ass about it, but eventually he just left her at home.

"Hey, Tara!"

Because Lowell had spent the last several months glowering at everyone the smile on his face seemed out of place. Even the corners of his mouth twitched as if the muscles weren't use to moving in such a way. "Hey, Lowell."

"Hey, Lowell."

Though his smile spread to Candy, there was more than a hint of confusion in his eyes. If it was from seeing her or the way she seemed to be hidden behind Tara was unclear. "What's up, Candy? So things with MJ and Fain turned out to be a bust?"

Tara thought about MJ and Fain stuck in Lodi without a way home. "Turned out better than you would have thought."

"Cool. So, hey," Lowell leaned in close. "Vick's here."

Glancing over his shoulder Tara caught sight of the current object of Lowell's affection. Like always she was standing alone, looking angry and pissed off at the world in general. Normally Tara let people wallow in their anger, she just didn't trust people who were always happy. But still, she couldn't quite figure out what Vicky was so pissed off about. Tara understood being pissed off. What she didn't understand was being pissed off for pissed off's sake, as Vicky always seemed to be. "Awesome."

"Wanna come hang out with us?"

"No!" Candy shouted only to realize how she came off. She gave Lowell a friendly smile. "You don't want to bombard a girl with your friends on a first date."

Lowell nodded. Tara could actually see him kicking himself. "Yeah, you're right. You're right. Maybe we should all hang out next weekend."

"Yeah." Candy agreed. "You should get back over there, don't want her getting any ideas." She waited until he walked away. "No way in hell I'm hanging out with her. That's the gloomiest bitch I've ever seen in my life."

"Can't argue with that. Come on, let's see if we can find Jax and Opie."

It seemed damn near impossible to find anyone out in the lot, so the two girls pushed their way into the clubhouse. Candy seemed petrified to enter. Tara wasn't quite sure what she was afraid of. It wasn't like someone would see them and run them out, most everyone was too drunk to even notice them by now anyway.

"Knowles!" Kyle called almost the moment they stepped into the clubhouse. "You made it."

It took some effort for Tara to fix the smile on her face as the first thing she saw when she walked into the clubhouse was Jax. He had some girl perched on top of the bar, her legs wrapped around his waist, and his tongue half-way down her throat. It was like the wind had been knocked out of her. She wanted to run away, go home and cry in her bed. And the fact that she felt that way made her want to go over to them and scratch someone's eyes out. "Yeah." Her eyes stung, hoped the smoke hanging heavy in the air kept anyone from really noticing.

"Wanna hit." He held out a joint.

"Sure," Tara accepted the joint, making an effort not to hit it too hard. She would not let anyone see just how upset she was. Absently she passed it to Candy. "April couldn't make it."

"Naw, she wasn't feeling well."

"On account of the baby?" Candy asked more for Tara's benefit than for Kyle's, earning a rough nudge from her friend.

Kyle's jaw clenched. "Yeah."

Tara wondered why he got so pissed off every time someone brought up the baby. It wasn't like the whole town didn't know. Or not talking about the baby would make it untrue. She wanted to let him know that his denial in regards to the baby was less attractive than the baby itself.

"You girls want a beer?"

It meant going up to the bar, meant being up close to Jax and his slut, but for some reason that made Tara all the more determined. She wanted him to see just how much she didn't give a damn. "Yeah."

"Come on," In a move so practiced it appeared absent, Kyle eased his arm around Tara's waist, pulling her in front of him as he guided them the short distance to the bar.

The place was packed and a few things she saw actually made her cringed, she couldn't imagine what was running through Candy's mind. Because her eyes were firmly diverted away from Jax, she finally caught sight of Kozik. He was sitting at one of the tables scattered throughout the clubhouse. There were a few people standing around him as he arm wrestled another member.

Tara didn't know who the other member was, didn't even care. Because Kozik was wearing a sleeveless shirt under his kutte. His arm was flexed and covered in a light sheen of sweat. And there was an easy grin on his face as he slammed his opponents hand down onto the table. Tara was almost embarrassed at the way her body responded.

"Who's next?"

No one jumped up immediately and Tara found herself silently praying for someone to rise to the challenge. Almost sighing in relief when one of the many burly, hairy men stepped up. Pulling away from Kyle, Tara made her way over to the table. She wanted to see this up close.

"Hey," Opie nudged Jax, tried to keep his voice low, but either his friend didn't hear or chose to ignore him. He nudged him a few more times, tried pulling on his shoulder to no avail. Left with no choice he stepped close to Jax's ear to shout. "Tara's here, bro."

Jax's head came up at that, a pleased smirk curling his lips. "And?"

Opie wanted to tell Jax the fact that he pulled away from the chick who was working his jeans open pretty much negated his careless attitude. But he was friend enough not to mention it. "Thought you'd want to know."

Jax kept his smirk in place. "I'm kind of busy here, bro." But he was already searching the clubhouse and the smirk on his face wavered when he finally caught sight of Tara.

He didn't really know how to describe the look on her face. No, actually, he did. It was a lot like the looks all the croweaters were giving Kozik. And the wavering smirk became a frown as he stepped away from the bar and turned fully towards Tara and Kozik. The croweater behind him didn't really catch the hint and merely wrapped her arms around his shoulders to pull him back against her.

"Hey, Hobert." Kozik called, a grin aimed at Tara as he seemingly toyed with the man he was arm wrestling. "Make yourself useful and bring me a shot."

Just such a fucking show off, Jax thought as Kozik kept his attention on Tara. He figured she was trying to make him jealous. But he didn't know what Kozik was trying to prove. Showing off for a teenager, fucking loser. And he thought Tara was a lot smarter than to believe a grown man was interested in a teenager. He conveniently ignored the fact that the woman behind him was pretty much the same age as Kozik.

"Wanna give me a hand, sweetheart?"

Tara blushed, she actually fucking blushed at the thought of helping Kozik down his shot. Jax rolled his eyes. She called him on his bullshit but she was falling for this. Did she not see that every guy Kozik was arm wrestling was old, fat, and fucking wasted.

"Gonna do something about that, brother?" Opie asked.

Jax grabbed his beer off the bar, jaw clenching as Kozik slammed his opponents hand onto the table. "Yeah."

"Who's next?"

"Me." Jax shouted over the noise. Reaching back he grabbed the croweater's hand, pulling her off the bar and across the room with him. When he reached the table he expected for Tara to notice him, but she barely glanced away from Kozik who was rotating his wrist and flexing his arm.

"Are you just going to arm wrestle every guy here?" Tara asked, eyes actually lighting up at the prospect. She never took herself to be one of those girls to get off at a show of violence but really that wasn't what this was. She couldn't even explain what this was or why she found it so exciting. But God, every time Kozik slammed some guy's hand down onto the table her stomach clenched in arousal

"You know a better way I can spend the night."

Tara thought she could think of several, all of which involved his hands, his arms, and her body.

And as Jax watched, the look on Tara's face went from teenage girl with a crush to a woman full of promise. It was a look that had him popping the last few buttons off his flannel before he shoved it at the croweater behind him. Dropping into the chair opposite Kozik, he gave the shoulder of his T-shirt a tug to reveal the muscles in his arm. Becoming more pissed off when Tara still didn't look his way.

"You sure you want to do this, kid." Kozik asked as Jax began to flex and rotate his wrist. He had always considered Jax to be a good kid, just cocky as fuck. But he liked him, liked him enough to help him pull his head out his own ass. He knew that Jax had a thing for Tara, as it had been more than a little obvious that day in the candy store. But five minutes before Tara walked into the clubhouse Jax was fully prepared to fuck the croweater he had propped up on the bar. Shit like that gets a woman stolen real quick.

Kozik knew that things had always come easy for Jax. He was a smart kid, he just didn't appreciate shit. And having seen them together, the way Tara acted towards him in the candy store, Kozik could see that the pretty brunette wasn't the type of chick the kid was use to. Shit, if she were just a couple years older he'd have her back in the apartment himself right now. Figured more than a few guys around the clubhouse really wouldn't give a fuck about her age.

It was why he kept her at his side. It wasn't just for Jax, because the kid was real damn close to fucking around and letting the chick slip away. But he did it for Tara, too. She was too young-and he thought it'd be a good idea to find out how old she actually was before fully dismissing the idea of fooling around with her-to be subjected to the type of men who hung around the club. "Easier ways to prove you're hot shit." He also figured the kid could use a healthy bit of humiliation.

Jax considered telling Kozik to fuck off. It was obvious the son of a bitch wasn't even taking him seriously. Going so far as to wink at Tara as he set his elbow on the table. "Let's just do this."

Kozik shrugged before turning his attention towards Tara. "How about a kiss for luck?"

And it was like the world around Jax stopped turning. Felt like he was in a dream, like the words spoken weren't real but something his mind came up with to torture him. But much to his horror, Kozik turned his head up just as Tara lowered hers. Everything was happening in slow motion and the words were out of Jax's mouth before he could think to stop them. "She's only fifteen."

Both Kozik and Tara stopped, the blond pulling back as the brunette stood ramrod straight.

Tara thought about countering with the fact that she'd be sixteen in February, but dismissed that thought when she realized just how childish that would sound. Her chance with Kozik was shot, blown to hell by a boy who forgot about her the moment she was out of his sight. It would be one thing for Kozik to mess around with a girl he knew was in high school, but she knew there was no way he would give her the time of day now that he knew how old she was.

Figuring what the hell, Tara framed Kozik's face in her hands. Tilting his head back she slanted her mouth over his, feeling a spark of triumph when she felt him returning her kiss, even if only for a second.

Embarrassed, angry, and jealous, Jax watched as Tara practically shoved her tongue down Kozik's throat. "Are we gonna fucking do this or what?"

It was Tara who broke the kiss, pulling back to give Kozik a smile. "Good luck." She turned to smirk at Jax, dare him to say something to her, but something over his shoulder caught her attention. Her eyes narrowed, her mind telling her to look away but she seemed incapable of it.

Seeing the look on her face, Jax turned his head to see what had caught her attention. It took him a moment because it had been awhile since the last time he saw her old man. But sure enough, in the hall leading back towards the apartment was Eric Knowles, pants around his ankles, screwing the hell out of some chick.

Noticing all the color draining from Tara's face, Kozik also glanced up the hall. He'd already seen the couple, as they'd been at it for awhile now, and considering that it wasn't the only couple currently mid-coitus he was momentarily confused on why this one bothered her more. It wasn't until he saw the man's face that he put it together. Teller and Hobert called her Knowles. Ric Knowles was her old man. The guy wasn't patched, was a raging drunk, but somehow managed to get more pussy than anyone. He was a hanger-on, a label that shouldn't have had women throwing themselves at him. According to Bobby, Piney had offered to sponsor Ric, but the guy turned him down. Something about promising his wife he'd never patch. Kozik never knew what to make of the guy, but figured it was a miracle Tara wasn't completely fucked up.

"Shit," By the time Jax turned back to Tara she was gone. He jumped quickly from his chair, not even bothering to look back at the croweater he damn near knocked over in his haste. He didn't bother looking around the lot for her. He knew she wanted to get as far away from what she'd seen as possible. It took several more moments, he cursed every one of them, before he was finally through the gates and on the street.

He was glad to see she hadn't gone too far, was actually only a little ways up the block with Candy and Opie.

"Got some beer at my place." Opie was saying when Jax approached them. "My pop probably won't stumble in until some time tomorrow. We can go back there."

"Party at Opie's." Jax grinned as he tossed his arm casually over Tara's shoulder. He didn't know how to handle what she saw, but figured the last thing she'd want to do is talk about seeing her father fucking some woman. "Sounds like a plan."

Tara wanted to push him away, tell him to go back to his whore. But he came after her, he didn't have to come after her. And he was flashing her that stupid grin that was all too easy to fall for. More she could appreciate the way he eased the tension. Opie and Candy both seemed unsure of what to do with her after what she saw, so much so that Tara was actually going to decline Opie's offer to hang out. But Jax had managed to cut the tension seamlessly.

Getting drunk at Opie's now seemed like a much better way to spend the rest of the night as opposed to going home and thinking about what she'd seen. Maybe, Tara thought as she allowed Jax to lead her up the street, she'd get drunk enough to purge the image from her mind.