Death: The third chapter is finally here! Took a while to write. This is probably the funniest chapter currently. Reviews are appreciated!
"I hope it was wise of you to leave Konan in charge." Antonietta grumbled.
"Don't sweat it, they'll be fine." I waved at her leisurely from the drivers seat.
We had just recently got back from the mall to pick up the supplies for the challenges. Not to mention to get Jesse some cookies from the bakery, which she was now munching on loudly in the back seat. Man, that girl could eat.
I looked back at the stacked pile of stuffed plastic bags for all of the challenges we had in mind. Good thing our families were pretty rich. We had also stopped by the grocery store to pick up some food for us and all the Akatsuki. I was glad that my buds all planned on staying overnight for the two weeks, I needed the extra cooking skills. Besides, all that was left in the fridge was just a whole lot of liquor and wine that my parents bought as souvenirs from their last vacation trip to France. Holy shoot! The liquor and wine! Don't tell me that they actually thought that it was sake! Oh, no. If they got a hold of that weapon of mass destruction that my parents called wine, I'm not sure Konan could actually hold them back. Or Toa. Sure he could strangle Hidan to death for the mess, but what about the other members? Shoot, shoot, SHOOT!
With that horrible picture of drunken Akatsuki members fresh in mind, I stepped on the pedal with the force of a small train wreck. My friends all lurch back against their leather seats.
"Whoa, Fallon slow down! Your gonna get a speeding ticket." Denia warned as she gripped the arms of the SUV seat.
"I don't care!" I stepped on the pedal harder with my teeth gritted and eyes wide. They all stared at me.
"What's wrong now?" Victoria demanded.
"This is scary." Jesse whimpered and huddled her chocolate chip cookies closer to her.
"The fridge." I spoke through gritted teeth. Then I steer turned for a short cut home. I looked at my watch. 6:00 pm. Three hours. I left the Akatsuki, a vicious band of serial killers, alone in the house for three full hours.
"What do you mean? There's only a bunch of your parents wine, liquor, and vod... Oh, God." Denia's jaw dropped as she realized what she just said.
"You don't think that they would actually be smart, or dumb enough to be able to open up one of those glue gun, sealed shut bottles do you?" Antonietta eyed me with the up most concern. I wouldn't face her directly. She's got this kind of hypnotic look to her eyes. Being the daughter of two famous psychics, she had a knack for getting anything she wanted.
"I don't know. Those bottles are locked up pretty tight, but these are cold blooded killers we're talking about. I'm pretty sure they could open up just about anything." I replied gravely.
"Well, what are you going to do if we get home and they're all drunk like you said?" Victoria asked.
"Well... Not all of them would get drunk." I lifted a finger. "Sasori can't drink because he's a puppet. I think Konan would be wise enough, after witnessing the results on the other members, to not even go near a single bottle."
"Are you sure..." Victoria gave me one of her famous death stares. She was really good at those. I hid my frightened expression.
"Well, Fallon is usually always right." Antonietta pointed out.
About a minute later, we arrived at the house. I winced as I pressed the button that opened the garage door. Hopefully, they didn't go drunk in the garage, or else I would have some trouble parking. You know, the amount of blood on the car would just be unbelievable. Eh, I guess I couldn't help being a little sadistic at times.
When it was open to its full extent, I didn't see any drunken Akatsuki members in the garage. Aw... I was looking forward to a nice black and blood stained SUV.
Once I unlocked the car door, we all jumped out. I opened the back trunk and we all unloaded the supply bags, each of us carrying about twenty or thirty pounds worth of it in our hands. We jogged to the garage door as best we could with twenty pound weights dragging us down. I knock on the door. Surprisingly, there was an answer almost immediately. It was Konan, and she looked awful.
Her silky blue hair was in terrible matts, as if they'd been victim to some crude game of hair tug of war. The paper flower that she wore on her head was crumpled and withered. Her, my dress was completely soaked in alcohol with several glass shards embedded in it. How was I suppose to repair that? She was panting like she had just sprinted six miles and her soft purple eyes were now wide open and bloodshot.
"Fallon, Victoria, Antonietta, Jesse, Denia. Oh thank God your back!" She managed as she slumped against the door frame.
"Konan, what happened?" I demanded.
"You look terrible." Antonietta added.
"See for yourself." She managed to point a weak finger inside the house before collapsing onto her side in front of the bathroom entrance. Hmm... Charming.
My friends and I all rushed into the house, threw our shoes off, laid down the bags, and carefully maneuvered our way around broken glass bottles and multicolored glass shards into the living room. Just as I predicted. It was chaos. Why do I always have to be right?
Tobi was jumping up and down off the couches and leather sofas like they were trampolines in the living room. He commanded them like a drunken acrobat, occasionally slamming himself into the ceiling every so often and managing to pass out for five seconds, then leaped up to started the whole endless cycle all over again.
"That looks fun!" Jesse beamed.
"No, Jesse. It's not fun." Victoria gave Jesse another death glare, but sadly, death glares had no effect on fluffy, jumpy, candy obsessed girls what so ever. Jesse just stood there beaming at Tobi longingly.
I spotted Zetsu flirting with some of my exotic 4 foot tall jungle venus flytraps. Was that vodka he was dumping into the plant's soil in large amounts? My jaw dropped. Kakazu was soooo paying for that.
Near the front door I spotted Toa having a strangle war with Hidan while hissing at his face. His body was so completely entangled in Toa's scales, that only his arms and head seemed to be visible. Right then Hidan spotted the five of us watching in sadistic satisfaction.
"Get this mother fucker off me!" Hidan screamed.
"Hiss!" Toa wrapped around him tighter, crushing three of Hidan's rib bones as he cussed some more. Too bad for Toa that Hidan was immortal, but it was definitely fun watching the show though.
"I'm going to go grab some popcorn." Denia chuckled as she jogged to the kitchen.
"Bitch! Get back here!" Hidan called after her. Ah, teen romance.
"Ok, guys split up!" I called to them. "Try to get them under as much control as possible, kay?" They all nodded. "Victoria, Jesse, check out what's going on upstairs. Denia and I will handle the chaos down here, and Antonietta, you give us the 411 on what's happening down in the basement." I turned to the kitchen. "I need to find Sasori."
We all split up. Victoria and Jesse rushed up the stairs, while Antonietta sprinted to the basement entrance. I decided to follow Denia into the kitchen.
The entrance I took to it didn't offer a full view, so I only so a portion of it. The portion however, was far more than I could handle. Sasori lay spread eagled and shirtless on the white marble kitchen floor just seven feet away from me. His red hair soaked with liquor and entangled in shards of glass as if somebody had actually managed to slam a glass bottle directly at his face that was now limp in the opposite direction as me. I rushed over and knelt by his side.
"Sasori." I shook his shoulder. "Sasori, wake up!" I shouted as I shook a little harder this time. When I didn't get a response, I turned his head towards me. I almost jumped. Where his eyes were suppose to be were just two, empty, wooden sockets. I gasped. Where the hell were his eyes? Then I stared at the area of his chest where I was expecting to find his heart, but what I found was yet another round, empty socket. What the hell happened to his heart? No wonder his eyes were empty, but seriously, where was his heart?
That question was soon answered when out of the chaos I heard Deidara's drunken voice speak up.
"Bye, bye, Sasori my man, hmm!" I whirled my head around towards the direction of the voice. My eyes locked onto Deidara holding up Sasori's heart in one hand and a foot long kitchen knife in the other, lurching back for a straight, direct stab. Holy shoot!
With lightning speed, I snatched another random kitchen knife off the floor and hurled it at Deidara's knife like a light weight Frisbee. The blades of the two knives made contact and then spun off into the distance. Deidara stood with a puzzled expression on his face, as if to say, where did that knife go?
While he was momentarily occupied awing at his own palm (or hand mouth) I took advantage of the moment and leapt on top of the black marble kitchen counter. Then, probably made a thousand fan girls jealous by tackling him head on. [What? I just needed to get Sasori's heart back. Honest!] Right after I rammed my left shoulder into his right side, he did exactly what I wanted. He lost his grip on the heart. I swiftly snatched it out of the air with my right hand. It didn't feel all that thrilling though. The warm red veins that jutted out entangled and tickled my fingers so bad, I had to keep myself from laughing out loud. On top of that, it's texture was undeniably squishy. Darn right it was freaky!
I was in fact, so mesmerized by it, that I didn't even notice the fact that I'd just crashed onto the floor on top of Deidara. Most likely cutting off his circulation for a split second having me (I weigh a staggering 130 pounds by the way. Yeah, I'm not shy about it either.) crash land onto his chest. He was, without a doubt, out cold.
I found my footing slowly, having to shuffle away all those pesky, mini glass pricks that littered the floor, and stood up with Sasori's live beating heart still in hand. Realizing that I had just knocked Deidara out cold, I was about to reach down and shake him awake until a thought crossed my mind. Maybe it was better if the drunk, S-ranked criminal were to be sleeping in the midst of chaos.
Just as I was about to insert Sasori's heart back in, I was attacked by the pungent aroma of ethanol. I couldn't shove a heart into a body with ethanol. Could I? I went with couldn't. [Sorry, Sasori haters. Why would you even hate Sasori anyways? (He's so HOT!)] I looked around the kitchen. Frankly, despite the chaos happening everywhere else, we were alone. Until I heard a very familiar swearing screech.
"Just help get this snake off me, bitch!" Hidan swore at Denia. She didn't look too happy about that, but I heard her sigh.
"Fine, buzz-kill." Denia then rubbed Toa's only soft spot (the right underside of his jaw). My lovely snake twitched, did a little serpentine giggle, and collapsed onto the carpeted floor in a heap.
Just as Hidan was getting himself untangled in the mess of scales, Denia brought out from behind her what seemed to be, a wickedly thick baseball bat. Must have been my brother's before he completely ditched the entire sport. What do you do to a guy that continuously swears to your face when there's a baseball bat in your hand. Denia will show us.
When Hidan's back was turned, she swung the bat full force into the back of his head.
"Bitch..." With that, Hidan collapsed spread eagled onto the floor beside Toa. Denia gave a victory cheer, holding the baseball bat up with two hands like a trophy and shouting out-
"Who's the bitch now, jerk!" I smirked at her glory. Hmm... My friends.
"Denia!" I felt guilty to end her little celebration, but it had to be done. She looked over.
"Oh, there you are, Fallon. Huh, didn't see you there." She rubbed the backside of her neck.
"Anyway, can you go grab me the garden hose from the garage, please?" I asked. She looked at me with a puzzled expression. "I need to rinse out the ethanol in Sasori's puppet body." I explained further.
"Wait, wouldn't it be better if Sasori was knocked out anyways?" Denia cocked her head.
"No, he's a puppet, so he's not drunk."
"Oh..." With that, she rushed to the garage.
Within a few seconds she brought out a large green garden hose leading to a rusty pipe. Denia dragged the rubber rope into the kitchen.
"Careful." I warned as I pointed to the several kitchen knives on the ground. She took notice and carefully swayed around each and every one them. She handed me the tip and I took it.
"On my signal, ok?" I said as she jogged to the garage. I stood up pointing the front of the hose at Sasori's chest.
"Ok, Denia, let it rip!" I signaled. I heard a rusty creak as she turned the valve on and a whole jet stream of water came gushing out of the nasal. I was carful to only spray the chest area and interior. Then, I sensed the hose starting to get out of control. It started to come alive. It shook, slithered and squirmed in my hands. More and more water gushing out of it, until it was too harsh to even aim at Sasori.
"Uh, Denia. You can turn it off now." I said towards the garage. There was no answer and the water kept gushing out in dangerously large amounts.
"Denia turn it off!" I demanded.
"Sorry, I can't! The valve is stuck!" She replied.
"What?" Now the water was on full blast. I struggled to get it under control, to aim it down towards the floor, but that only sprayed more water everywhere. I couldn't hold the hose with one hand any more. I reached down and shoved Sasori's heart back into the wooden socket. About two seconds later, his hazel eyes blinked open.
"Nice of you to join the party!" I shouted over the raging sounds water. Out of the noise, I heard him stand up.
"What's going on?" Sasori asked me.
"Gosh, I can't even get a thank you for saving your butt!" I yelled. Without knowing, I aimed the hose a little too high, and shot Tobi straight in the mask in midair.
"Oops." I said to Tobi passed out on a leather couch.
"No, wait that's good." Sasori commented behind me. He then took the wild hose out of my hands.
"What are you-"
"Hey, Zetsu!" He called to the plant man. Zetsu turned towards us. As I predicted, Sasori blasted the hose straight at his face. Zetsu made a few gurgling noises and was out cold on the floor just like Tobi.
"Nice one." I complemented. Sasori looked back and smiled. He actually, smiled! At me! I couldn't help but blush a little. Snapping out of it, I took the those out of his hands and covered the nose of it with my palm. The force was strong though. I felt it poking, pushing, and prodding with all it's might against my hand. It took almost all of my strength to hold it back.
"Follow me." I gestured. We both ran to the garage. I opened the door. Denia was still struggling to turn the valve off when she noticed us.
"Sasori, Fallon! Glad you came. Anyways, can one of you guys... HELP ME OUT?" Denia looked exasperated. I bet Sasori wouldn't be much help with strength (you know, he's wood and all), so I handed him the hose.
"Here, hold this." I said to Sasori. He took it, but the water kept on gushing out. "Cover it!" He obeyed, but even then, spits of water seemed to escape.
I rushed over to Denia and tugged on the valve along with her. I heard a hopeful little creak.
"Pull harder!" I exclaimed.
"I'm trying!" Denia shut her eyes closed as we both tugged. Finally, it budged more and more.
"It's working." I heard Sasori say. We kept on pulling until the water finally stopped.
I sighed in relief as Denia crouched down on the garage floor. Sasori walked over and handed me the hose. I took it, shifted my shoulders, and threw it back onto the floor.
"Come one guys." I brushed the rust off of my hands. "Let's check on Victoria, Jesse, and Antonietta." I lead the way across the water soaked floor, back into the house.
We decided to check the basement first, since I was concerned about Antonietta being all alone with all the possible Akatsuki members. I figured knocking them out would be easier now with Sasori and his metal rope thingy on our side.
I lead the way down the steps and switched on all the basement lights. As we were walking down the steps I heard a very, very, disturbed laugh. I knit my eyebrows.
"What was that?" Denia and I questioned in unison.
"That's Kakazu's laugh." Then I felt a hand lightly rest on my shoulder. It was Sasori's. I blushed like mad. Shoot!
"Some laugh." Denia saved me. I shook my head out of it and continued down the steps.
When we got down, the lights were already on. I spotted a crazy Kakazu going mad tossing money everywhere out of his suitcase and occasionally sprinkling it back onto himself. I made a face.
"Ok... No comment." I then spotted Antonietta in a corner crouched over a passed out Pein with a broken, empty glass bottle clutched in her hand. She also had this psychotic grin on her face and she was breathing unsteadily.
"Oh, you two are here." She turned her head towards us and put on the most insane smile I've ever seen. Has she gone mad or what? Then her gaze fixed onto Sasori behind me.
"DIE!" She screamed and started sprinting towards us, broken glass bottle aimed directly at Sasori's face. Thank badness she wasn't that fast though. I blocked the hand with the bottle clutched in it.
"No, no. Sasori's ok. He's not drunk." I eased her as I yanked the broken bottle out of her hand and threw it at Kakazu's head. He gave one last twitch and passed out onto the floor. Antonietta looked up at me in confusion. See, she had these spastic moments at times (especially when she was harming someone) that enable her to have these almost animalistic characteristics. How do you know when she's in spastic mode, she grins at you like a lunatic. Strange thing is, she tends to not remember anything while she's in spastic mode. Like I said earlier, she was the daughter of two famous psychics, so spirits could latch onto her or something. Giving her odd bursts of energy and sudden personality changes.
"Oh, sorry." She rubbed the back of her neck as I released her. "Was I in spastic mode again?"
"Sort of. Well, at least you knocked out Pein." I gestured. She turned to Pein then Sasori.
"Oh, sorry. Will leader forgive me." She begged with all concern to Sasori, who looked confused as ever.
"Uh, sure. I don't think he'll even remember when he wakes up." He said. Antonietta sighed in relief.
"Alright, let's go check on Victoria and Jesse now." I ushered and led the way up the stairs.
When we got upstairs to Victoria and Jesse. I saw that they already had everything under control. The prof? Kisame passed out in the hallway with a huge red bump on his forehead and Itachi soundly sleeping across from him with the aroma of sleeping pills wafting up in his direction. I spotted Jesse almost immediately as she was tucking pillows and draping blankets over the two of them.
"Nice job, Jesse." I waved to her. She shot up and turned her head towards us.
"Fallonie! Dennie! Annie!" She screeched with glee. Then looked at Sasori in confusion.
"It's ok. He's not drunk." I pointed to the back of me. Victoria then popped out of the guest room beside Jesse.
"About time you showed up." Victoria complained as she clutched an almost empty bottle of sleeping pills in one hand and a dented golf club in the other. I stared at her then the golf club.
"Don't worry I can fix it, but we're gonna to need to buy another bottle of these sleeping pills." She rattled the few pills still left in the container. Last time I checked the bottle was full. Did she really use all of that? "Speaking of fixing, I figured you guys already handled the problem down there, kept on hearing these horrible gushes of water." Victoria put a finger to her mouth.
"Yeah, we flooded the main floor." I admitted. "You might not want to go down there in the meanwhile."
"I'll be. What time is it?" She stared down at my watch. I held my wrist up to my face.
"About, eight." I read the time.
"Just eight? Are you kidding me? I'm already exhausted." Denia commented.
"Same here. You get tired after knocking out a couple of Akatsuki members." I added. My friends all nodded in unison.
"Alright, so it's decided." I clamped my hands together. "Victoria, Jesse, and Denia, you can take the guest room. While Sasori, Antonietta, and I will be in my room." I said. "Good?"
They all nodded.
I laid down some sleeping bags and pillows for Sasori and Antonietta. Sasori, to the right side of my bed and Antonietta to the left.
We all settled in about a minute later and I turned off the lights.
"Night, guys." I said.
"Good night." Antonietta said in reply.
"Uh, night." I felt like that was forced out of Sasori. I guess S-ranked criminals weren't used to saying "good night" to anyone.
After I while, with Antonietta fast asleep, I heard Sasori whisper something to me.
"Hey, Fallon? You still awake?" I heard from the side of my bed. I crept over onto my belly and peaked over at Sasori with his arms folded under his head, looking straight at me. I blushed in the darkness.
"Yeah, I'm still awake." I whispered in reply.
"Uh, thanks for saving my life... I, uh, guess." He winced, as if it hurt him to admit it. I took it in stride and smiled at him.
"Your welcome." I said softly. Sasori then gave me the kindest, softest smile I've ever seen as a reward. It wasn't sinister or forced. It wasn't dry or a smirk. It was so... Natural. Humane and... Natural. I felt like I could just melt and seep into the bed cushions at that exact moment.
I crept back to my spot on the bed and slept. Thinking about that one, lovely, natural, humane smile that he didn't turn into a puppet.