Chapter 3: Shady Snowdin

Welcome to Shady Snowdin! As a sign reads greeting the Vault Dweller as he enters a very familiar yet very different new town. A save pint is right in front of two connected houses. (The sight of such a friendly town that feels strangely familiar to you fills you with determination. The Vault Dweller enters the shop on the left side of the connected houses a meets a purple-haired female humanoid bunny.

Shopkeeper: "Hello traveller. How can I help you? Care to chat?"

Vault Dweller: "Hello."

Shopkeeper: "Hiya! Welcome to Snowdin! I can't remember the last time I saw a fresh face around here. Where did you come from? The capital?"

Vault Dweller: "I came from a Vault."

Shopkeeper: "A Vault? Oh! You must mean the RUINS behind that huge gear looking door. I didn't think that door even opened. So you lived in there? Why did you leave? You don't look like a tourist. Are you here by yourself?" *The Shopkeeper examines the Vault Dweller and notices his jumpsuit.* "Hey, where did you get that jumpsuit?"

Vault Dweller: "My jumpsuit? Well, I got it from my Vault. It's the only thing we really wore…" *The Vault Dweller spins around and the Shop Keeper sees the 13 on his back*

Shopkeeper: "Oh, is see. I asked because I have something similar in my possession and thought you stole it. Actually, could you tell me about this?" *The Shopkeeper points to a jumpsuit hanging on the wall*

Upon closer inspection, the Vault Suit is armored with bits of leather armor and there is a number on the collar. 101.

Vault Dweller: "Another vault suit? 101…? Where did you find it?"

Shopkeeper: "I just found it lying in the snow while out for a walk one day. I was hoping since you had a similar suit that you would know more about it."

Vault Dweller: "All I can say from looking at it is that it comes from a different Vault than mine and whoever used it must have wondered outside his Vault for a long time." *For some reason, saying that last sentence made the Vault Dweller tear up a bit*

Shopkeeper: *Notices the Vault Dwellers tears* "Woah, this suit must mean something to you. Listen, I'll give it to you for free, just don't tell anyone." *she takes the suit off the hangers and hands it to the Vault Dweller*

The Vault Dweller received the Armored Vault 101 Jumpsuit. He Equips it. It's a little tight, but the Vault Dweller feels a strange comfort in wearing it.

Shopkeeper: "You look good. Now, anything else I can help you with?"

Vault Dweller: "What's there to do here?"

Shopkeeper: "You want to know what to do here in Shady Snowdin? Grillby's has food, and the library has information... If you're tired, you can take a nap at the inn. It's right next door - my sister runs it. And if you're bored, you can sit outside and watch those wacky skeletons do their thing. There's two of 'em... Brothers, I think."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, we've met. Never a dull moment with them around. Have they always been here?"

Shopkeeper: "No. They just showed up one day and... asserted themselves. The town has gotten a lot more interesting since then."

Vault Dweller: "Speaking of which, what's the history of this place?"

Shopkeeper: "Guess they didn't give you a history lesson about the 'outside' world in the RUINS. A long time ago, monsters lived in the RUINS back there in the forest. Long story short, we all decided to leave the ruins and head for the end of the caverns. Along the way, some fuzzy folk decided they liked the cold and set up the community of Shady Snowdin. Oh, and I'm sure you already know, but don't think about trying to explore the RUINS... The door is sealed from the inside and has been that way for ages. So unless you're a ghost or can burrow under the door, forget about it."

The Vault Dweller is very confused by this but decides not to question it.

Vault Dweller: "What's your life like?"

Shopkeeper: "Life is the same as usual. A little claustrophobic... But...we all know deep down that freedom is coming, don't we? As long as we got that hope, we can grit our teeth and face the same struggles, day after day... That's life, ain't it?"

Vault Dweller: "*looks down* "Yeah…" *looks up* "Anyways, care to barter?"

Shopkeeper: "Huh? Does this look like a pawn shop? I don't know how it works where you come from... but... If I started spending money on old pistols and used stimpaks, I'd be out of business in a jiffy!"

Vault Dweller: "So no trading?"

Shopkeeper: "If you're really hurtin' for cash, then maybe you could do some microtransactions like a 'Creation Club' or something. I hear people will pay for ANYTHING nowadays."

Vault Dweller: "That sounds like putting a price tag on stuff that should be free. I'll just buy something with what cash I have."

Shopkeeper: "What would you like to buy?"

The Vault Dweller notices a device similar to his Pip-Boy.

Vault Dweller: "What's that?" *points to the Pip-Boy*

Shopkeeper: "This? I found it with the suit I gave you. From what I can tell by the markings and circuitry, it's called a Pip-Boy 3000 and is some kind of computer watch thing. You can have it for a price, I already gave you the suit for free. I should also mention that it's broken and I have no idea how to fix it."

The Vault Dweller buys the Pip-Boy 3000 and a Sweetbun.

Shopkeeper: "Thanks for your purchase." *The Vault Dweller Exits the Store* "Bye now!"

The Vault Dweller decides to stay at the Inn for the night to spend some time repairing the Pip-Boy 3000 with his repair skill [100] and parts from his Pip-Boy 2000. He completes the repairs and equips the Pip-Boy 3000, replacing the Pip-Boy 2000. After a quick rest, he finds out that he has only been in his room for a few minutes and gets a refund. The Vault Dweller proceeds to wonder around town talking with the locals. He meets a rabbit woman walking a tiny rabbit and a rabbit man who finds the rabbit woman disturbing. He reaches the center of town where he finds a Christmas tree with presents under it and learns of the "Christmas" tradition. He meets a monster kid who mistakes him for a kid by mistaking the yellow stripe line on his shirt for a stripe. He also finds out the town doesn't have a mayor and instead problems are solved when a skeleton tells a fish lady about it. Thaaaaaat's politics! After that, the Vault Dweller enters a bar known as Grillby's. The inside is very clean. Way cleaner than any bar on the surface. There are all kinds of monsters in the bar. A bunny blob and a large toothed bellsprout are sitting at the booths. A horse dude in a leather jacket is next to the jukebox. A fish man wearing a wife beater and a bird lady wearing a sleeveless shirt are slouching at the bar proper. An armored mongrel is playing poker against itself and appears to be… losing? How is that even possible? Hey! It's the Royal Dog Guards! The Vault Dweller speaks with them.

K-9aressa: "We're sentries, but we never get any respect. *BRR* I wish those skeletons would throw us a bone. *BELEOP* We love bones."

Robobogamy: "You better watch where you sit down in here, *BZZT* man. Because that big guy WILL jump into your lap and give you lots of love and attention."

The Vault Dweller is horrified beyond comprehendible reasoning at the thought of this.

Rexxo: "I'm thinking of getting a spiked collar to show off my personality. It makes a statement like… 'Take me to Jacobstown and replace my brain please.'"

The Vault Dweller gathers every single ounce of determination he has and walks very, very, VERY nervously to Dogmeat who is the only one actually sitting at the table. He manages to speak.

Vault Dweller: "…h…..hi."

Dogmeat: "Woof."

The woof is loud but it doesn't shatter the very fabric of space-time and reality itself. Now that wasn't so bad, right? The Vault Dweller proceeds to the bar where fire in the shape of a man wearing glasses and an old western bartender uniform is polishing a glass. He speaks with him.

Grillby: "… … …"

Bird lady: "Grillbz said that he'd offer you a glass of water, but he doesn't touch the stuff."

The Vault Dweller snickers and decides to leave. He makes his way over to the… LIBRARBY. The sign is spelled wrong. He meets the librarian who knows the sign is misspelled, a newspaper editor, the number-one word-search creator in the entire underground and a one eyed monster who knows the Vault Dweller has trouble with Sudoku. One monster, however, catches his interest. It seems to be a floating robe of some kind reading a book. The Vault Dweller speaks to the robe.

Vault Dweller: "Excuse me, may I trouble you for a second?"

?: "Hm?" *the coat lowers the book and looks at the Vault Dweller. At least I think it is, kinda hard to tell* "You… you strike an appearance that induces nostalgia."

Vault Dweller: "I don't think I've ever met a floating coat before."

?: "Floating… Oh! I'm dreadfully sorry, good sir. I often forget that people cannot visualize me with my robes adorned. Allow me to property make your acquaintance." *the robe is removed, revealing an Albino Deathclaw*

Vault Dweller: *Jumps back* "AH!"

?: "Diminish thy anxiety of death, homo-sapien of the over terrestrial. The proper title I have been bestowed with is Goris. You may address me as such, should you deem it acceptable."

Vault Dweller: "Deathclaws… can talk?"

Goris: "The vast majority of the species that have gained the formal classification Mors Capsule, Deathclaw in layman, do not possess the ability to verbally communicate through specific definitions consisting of vibration that are formed though the oral cavities. However, I am the final remnant of a species that where classified "Intelligent Deathclaws" which have harnessed the ability to verbally communicate through human language."

Vault Dweller: "So, you're the last of the Deathclaws that don't murder people on the spot? What happened to your people and how did you escape."

Goris: "My people once resided in a place your people constructed. Your people titled the structure as a Vault. This vault kept us safe from Homo-sapiens that would see us deceased. However, we allowed conversation and cooperation with Homo-sapiens that saw reason. We allowed a man who looked very much like yourself to explore our home. He was looking for a way to save his home. I knew this human was a kind-hearted individual and when we spoke I decided to accompany him in hopes that through our cooperation we could set an example to the rest of his species to bring peace between the two." *he pauses for a second* "But then, a group of heinous individuals known as the Enclave massacred my people. At first I lost all my faith in the goodness of humanity. I thought all humans where just murderous creatures and should be eradicated just as they did with my people. But, I soon found out that the man I was traveling with also had his home attacked by the Enclave. I lost my people to the Enclave, and I didn't want his people meet the same fate. So we destroyed the Enclave together, the human managed to rebuild his peoples civilization. After that I knew no place on the surface would accept me, despite the humans' kindness, so I traveled alone until I found this place. A place filled with monsters much like myself who only wish for peace. I am elated to reside here and humbly proclaim the Subterranean caverns my home."

Vault Dweller: "It must feel good to fit in…"

Goris: "Chin up, old bean. Monsters are very understanding. Why don't you study up a bit, so you can come to know this place for what true graces it bares." *Goris puts his robe back on and continues reading his book*

The Vault Dweller sees the place is filled with non-burned books. This is very unusual for him. Though he's been underground for a while, he knows very little about monsters, so he decides to educate himself for a little. He picks five colored books to read.

(Red Book)

(It's a school report about monster funerals.)

"Monster funerals, technically speaking, are cool as heck.

When monsters get old and kick the bucket, they turn into dust.

At funerals, we take that dust and spread it on that person's favorite thing.

Then their essence will live on in that thing...

Uhhh, am I at the page minimum yet?

I'm kinda sick of writing this."

In Vault 13 when people died they were incinerated. The ashes could not be stored in urns because of supply limitations so there was a similar tradition where the ashes would be spread on a person's favorite thing so that the item in question could act as memorabilia. However, they only used a small about to avoid ashes getting into the ventilation system.

(Blue Book)

"While monsters are mostly made of magic, human beings are mostly made of water.

Humans, with their physical forms, are far stronger than us.

But they will never know the joy of expressing themselves through magic.

They'll never get a bullet-pattern birthday card..."

Magic? Come to think of it, the Vault Dweller remembers his FIGHT with Toriel and how she shot fireballs at him. He didn't question it at the time, but now things are starting to make sense. Though he wonders how a physical form makes a human stronger than a monster with a purely magical form? Then again, the Vault Dweller doesn't really know much about magic. Maybe the next book can shed some light on this.

(Orange Book)

"Because they are made of magic, monsters' bodies are attuned to their SOUL.

If a monster doesn't want to fight, its defenses will weaken.

And the crueler the intentions of our enemies, the more their attacks will hurt us.

Therefore, if a being with a powerful SOUL struck with the desire to kill...

Um, let's end the chapter here..."

A cold chill runs down the Vault Dweller's spine. He knows how cruel humans can be and fears he too might give into the destructive nature of man. He takes a moment to gather himself and continues reading.

(Light Green Book)

"MONSTER HISTORY PART 4"

"Fearing the humans no longer, we moved out of our old city, HOME.

We braved harsh cold, damp swampland, and searing heat...

Until we reached what we now call our capital.

"NEW HOME."

Again, our King is really bad at names...?"

NEW HOME. The Vault Dweller remembers the books he and Toriel read together. He remembers hearing about how the monsters retreated underground and the RUINS was originally their home. The RUINS were originally called HOME. The king really is bad at making names.

(Dark Green Book)

"Love, hope, compassion...

This is what people say monster SOULs are made of.

But the absolute nature of "SOUL" is unknown.

After all, humans have proven their SOULs don't need these things to exist."

The bombs. This is the first thing that pops into the Vault Dwellers head after reading that. He's done reading. He returns the books to the shelves and walks out of the library.

The Vault Dweller walks upwards past a family of slimes and a muscular wolf monster throwing massive blocks of ice into the water and eventually meets a quiet place next to a stream. He sits at the stream, silently thinking. Humans. They were the ones responsible for the end of the world. Even after that they just continued doing what they always did: kill each other over stupid shit. War. War never changes. And neither do humans… The Vault Dweller stares into the stream and his reflection stares right back.

?: "Hey, what wrong?"

Vault Dweller: "I… shouldn't be here. My very presence here is a threat to the monsters."

?: "Why do you say that?"

Vault Dweller: "Because I'm human, and every human has a destructive nature deep down. Some accept it very early on while others try to keep it buried for as long as they can until they can no longer deny it and it explodes. The Great War was the biggest and most horrible example of that. I've lived by the gun and killed. I am not different."

?: "The value of life has eluded you, Vault Dweller. You fought those who would kill for pleasure, who would enslave those they deemed weak and those who would see the world destroyed again. You fought demons. You did not fight for survival. You fought for the survival of others. Destruction was never the core of your soul."

Vault Dweller: "Then what is!?"

Mysterious Stranger: *puts hand on the Vault Dwellers shoulder* "Determination."

The Vault Dweller looks behind him but no one is there. His soul appears in front of him. It is covered in a black shadow. The Vault Dwellers mind is flooded with all the people he hurt and killed, but he fights off these memories with the memories of the people he has helped and saved. Shady Sands, Necropolis, Junktown… Vault 13. His soul begins to glow. The light grows and soon glows so bright that it banishes the shadow. His soul is now clear. It is a red heart with the number 13 on it. The Vault Dwellers soul returns to his body. He smiles and nods at his reflection in the water and returns to his quest.

The Vault Dweller returns to Shady Snowdin. He passes a rather large house decorated with Christmas lights and proceeds down a path lined with trees on both sides. A thick fog beings roll in. He stops in his tracks. A figure can be seen in the fog with him.

PAPYRUS: "HUMAN. ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS. FEELINGS LIKE… THE JOY OF FINDING ANOTHER PASTA LOVER. THE ADMIRATION FOR ANOTHER'S PUZZLE-SOLVING SKILLS. THE DESIRE TO HAVE A COOL, SMART PERSON THINK YOU ARE COOL. THESE FEELINGS… THE MUST BE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW! I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE TO FEEL THAT WAY. AFTER ALL, I AM VERY GREAT. I DON'T EVER WONDER WHAT HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS IS LIKE. I PITY YOU… LONELY WONDERER… WORRY NOT! YOU SHALL BE LONELY NO LONGER! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE YOUR… NO… NO, THIS IS ALL WRONG! I CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND! YOU ARE A HUMAN! I MUST CAPTURE YOU! THEN, I CAN FULFILL MY LIFELONG DREAM! POWERFUL! POPULAR! PRESTIGIOUS! THAT'S PAPYRUS! THE NEWEST MEMBER… OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"

A FIGHT begins! Papyrus blocks the way! The Vault Dweller ACTS. He checks Papyrus. PAPYRUS 8 ATK 2 DEF He likes to say: "Nyeh heh heh!"

PAPYRUS: "NYEH HEH HEH!"

Papyrus sends forth some bones that skid across the ground but come nowhere close to hitting the Vault Dweller. Papyrus is considering his options. The Vault Dweller ACTS.

Vault Dweller: "[Confirmed Bachelor] I've seen a lot of skeletons in my day, but none as handsome as you."

PAPYRUS: "WHAT!? FL-FLIRTING? SO YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR ULTIMATE FEELINGS! W- WELL! I'M A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!"

Vault Dweller: "[Charisma 1/1] I can make spaghetti."

PAPYRUS: "OH NO! YOU'RE MEETING ALL MY STANDARDS! I GUESS THIS MEANS I HAVE TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU…? LET'S DATE L- LATER! AFTER I CAPTURE YOU!"

Papyrus sends out more bones that come nowhere close to hitting the Vault Dweller. Papyrus is thinking about what to wear for his date. The Vault Dweller selects MERCY and then Spare.

PAPYUS: "SO YOU WON'T FIGHT… THEN, LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE MY FABLED 'BLUE ATTACK!'"

Papyrus sends forth a barrage of blue bones at the Vault Dweller but the Vault Dweller stands perfectly still so they phase right through him. Then suddenly, the Vault Dwellers soul turns blue, he drops to the floor and a bone hits him from the side!

Vault Dweller: "Ow! What the…" *he feels heavy* [Movement decreased by 50%]

PAPYRUS: "YOU'RE BLUE NOW. THAT'S MY ATTACK! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

You're blue now. The Vault Dwellers slow movement makes it difficult for him to dodge attacks. Papyrus seems to be shooting his bones straighter now. The Vault Dweller manages to jump over some slow small bones but soon Papyrus starts shooting bigger and faster bones. The Vault Dweller starts taking massive damage. The Vault Dweller decides if he can't move, he can shoot. Papyrus sends out another bone barrage but this time instead of dodging the Vault Dweller takes out his pistol, activates V.A.T.S. and shoots the incoming bone projectiles. He hits all of them perfectly. While the battle rages on, Papyrus begins to monologue to himself.

PAPYRUS: "HMMM... I WONDER WHAT I SHOULD WEAR... WHAT!? I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT DATE THING!"

Papyrus' attacks get more intense every wave but the Vault Dweller keeps shooting straight. However, he makes sure he doesn't hit Papyrus.

PAPYRUS: "YEAH! DON'T MAKE ME USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK! I CAN ALMOST TASTE MY FUTURE POPULARITY!

PAPYRUS: HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD!

PAPYRUS: UNPARALLELED SPAGETTORE!

UNDYNE WILL BE REALLY PROUD OF ME! THE KING WILL TRIM A HEDGE IN THE SHAPE OF MY SMILE! MY BROTHER WILL ... WELL, HE WON'T CHANGE VERY MUCH. I'LL HAVE LOTS OF ADMIRERS! BUT..."

Papyrus' attacks start slowing down.

PAPYRUS: "WILL ANYONE LIKE ME AS SINCERELY AS YOU? AND DATING MIGHT BE KIND OF HARD... AFTER YOU'RE CAPTURED AND SENT AWAY. URGH... WHO CARES! GIVE UP!"

The Vault Dweller smiles and shakes his head at Papyrus.

PAPYRUS: "GIVE UP OR FACE MY... SPECIAL ATTACK!"

The Vault Dweller extends his hand and gestures to 'bring it on'.

PAPYRUS: *STARTS CHARGING UP* "YEAH! VERY SOON I WILL USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!" *STILL CHARGING* "NOT TOO LONG AND I WILL USE THAT SPECIAL ATTACK!" *WAVING HIS ARMS AROUND* "THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE... BEFORE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"

The Vault Dweller braces himself.

PAPYRUS: "BEHOLD...! MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"

A dog chewing on a bone appears.

PAPYRUS: "WHAT THE HECK! THAT'S MY SPECIAL ATTACK! HEY! YOU STUPID DOG! DO YOU HEAR ME!? STOP MUNCHING ON THAT BONE!" *THE DOG SLOWLY CRAWLS AWAY* "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! COME BACK HERE WITH MY SPECIAL ATTACK! ... OH WELL. I'LL JUST USE A REALLY COOL REGULAR ATTACK."

The Vault Dweller checks his pistol and finds… he's out of ammo...

Vault Dweller: "Uh oh…"

PAPYRUS: *SIGH* "HERE'S AN ABSOLUTELY NORMAL ATTACK."

Papyrus sends out a barrage of bones in all different directions. Even the dog comes back for a cheap shot. Then the bones form the word "Cool Dude" and a bone on a skateboard rides by. The Vault Dweller manages to dodge a few of the bones, but not all. His health is at half now. Suddenly, a massive wave of bones appear! The Vault stares in horror for a second then screams and rushes at the wave.

Vault Dweller: "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The Vault Dweller is bombarded with bones. He runs through the wave, taking massive damage while attempting to stay on high ground, eh, bone and move forward. At the end of the wave is a massive bone! The Vault Dweller jumps through it, taking massive damage. He lands on the ground hyperventilating and sweating greatly. His health is at 2. A tiny bone slowly creeps towards the Vault Dweller. He takes his unloaded pistol and throws it at the bone, knocking it away. The Vault Dweller looks at Papyrus and finds him breathing heavily and sweating as well.

PAPYUS: "WELL...! *HUFF* IT'S CLEAR... YOU CAN'T! *HUFF* DEFEAT ME! YEAH! I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING IN YOUR BOOTS! THEREFORE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ELECT TO GRANT YOU PITY! I WILL SPARE YOU, HUMAN! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO ACCEPT MY MERCY."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, *huff* good deal... *huff*"

The Vault Dweller selects MERCY and Spares Papyrus.

PAPYRUS: "NYOO HOO HOO… I CAN'T EVEN STOP SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU… UNDYNE'S GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED IN ME. I'LL NEVER JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD… AND… MY FRIEND QUANTITY WILL REMAIN STAGNANT!"

Vault Dweller: "You put up an amazing fight, Papyrus. Let's just call this a draw. What do you say? Friends?"

PAPYRUS: "REALLY!? YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS, WITH ME? WELL THEN… I GUESS… I GUESS I CAN MAKE AN ALLOWANCE FOR YOU! WOWIE! WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD OUR FIRST DATE… AND I'VE ALREADY MANAGED TO HIT THE FRIEND ZONE!"

Vault Dweller: *pft* *struggling to hold in laughter*

PAPYRUS: "WHO KNEW THAT ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE PALS… WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES AND THEN FIGHT THEM? YOU TAUGHT ME A LOT, HUMAN. I HEREBY GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO PASS THROUGH! AND I'LL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS TO THE SURFACE. CONTINUE FORWARD UNTIL YOU REACH THE END OF THE CAVERN. THEN... WHEN YOU REACH THE CAPITAL, CROSS THE BARRIER. THAT'S THE MAGICAL SEAL TRAPPING US ALL UNDERGROUND. ANYTHING CAN ENTER THROUGH IT, BUT NOTHING CAN EXIT... EXCEPT SOMEONE WITH A POWERFUL SOUL... LIKE YOU! THAT'S WHY THE KING WANTS TO ACQUIRE A HUMAN."

Vault Dweller: "If, uh, the king gets my soul *gulp* what will he do?"

PAPYRUS: "THAT'S WHY THE KING WANT TO ACQUIRE A HUMAN. HE WANTS TO OPEN THE BARRIER WITH SOUL POWER. THEN US MONSTERS CAN RETURN TO THE SURFACE! OH, I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU... TO REACH THE EXIT, YOU WILL HAVE TO PASS... THROUGH THE KING'S CASTLE."

Vault Dweller: "What… what is the king like?"

PAPYRUS: "THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS...HE IS... WELL..."

The Vault Dweller begins to tremble.

PAPYRUS: "HE'S A BIG FUZZY PUSHOVER!"

The Vault Dweller is dumbfounded by this.

PAPYUS: "EVERYBODY LOVES THAT GUY. I AM CERTAIN IF YOU JUST SAY... 'EXCUSE ME, MR. DREEMURR... CAN I PLEASE GO HOME?' HE'LL GUIDE YOU RIGHT TO THE BARRIER HIMSELF! ANYWAY! THAT'S ENOUGH TALKING! I'LL BE AT HOME BEING A COOL FRIEND! FEEL FREE TO COME BY AND HAVE THAT DATE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" *PAPYRUS SKIPS AWAY PAST THE VAULT DWELLER*

The Vault Dweller rests for a bit to regain his health. He then decides to have that date with Papyrus so he goes back to Shady Snowdin. He finds Papyrus standing in front of the big decorated house.

Vault Dweller: "I am here for that… 'Date'."

PAPYRUS: "SO YOU CAME BACK TO HAVE A DATE WITH ME! YOU MUST BE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS…"

Vault Dweller: "What, I-"

PAPYRUS: "I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE REALLY SPECIAL… A PLACE I LIKE TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME!"

Papyrus and the Vault Dweller do a lap around Shady Snowdin and end up right back in front of the big decorated house.

PAPYRUS: "MY HOUSE!"

Papyrus runs into his house and the Vault Dweller follows. It's really nice inside. The Vault Dweller notices a rock on a plate on a table next to him.

PAPYRUS: "THIS IS MY BROTHER'S PET ROCK. HE ALWAYS FORGETS TO FEED IT. AS USUAL, I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY."

The rock is covered in sprinkles. The Vault Dweller then notices a dirty socks with a series of notes on it.

SANS! PLEASE PICK UP YOUR SOCK!

ok.

DON'T PUT IT BACK DOWN! MOVE IT!

ok.

YOU MOVED IT TWO INCHES! MOVE IT TO YOUR ROOM!

ok.

AND DON'T BRING IT BACK!

ok.

IT'S STILL HERE!

didn't you just say not to bring it back to my room?

FORGET IT!

Vault Dweller: "I love these guys."

The Vault Dweller notices something next to the forms page sock. It looks like a… television? It's really big and has a rectangular shape but has a flat screen. Does it even work? The Vault Dweller looks for a button to flip on the strange flat screen and eventually finds it. The screen turns on and displays colored bars.

PAPYRUS: "OHH, IT'S MY FAVORITE GAME-SHOW!"

It says "STAY TUNED FOR A NEW PROGRAM – MTT."

PAPYUS: "WHAT! IT'S USUALLY BETTER THAN THIS! THIS IS JUST A BAD EPISODE! DON'T JUDGE ME!"

The Vault Dweller proceeds to the couch and touches it. It makes a jangling sound. He finds a bunch of loose bottle caps inside the couch… The Vault Dweller got 20GBC. He then finds a joke book with a quantum physics book inside with a joke book inside with a quantum physics book inside… The Vault Dweller closes the book. The Vault Dweller proceeds to the kitchen and examines the stove.

PAPYRUS: "MY BROTHER ALWAYS GOES OUT TO EAT. BUT… RECENTLY, HE TRIED 'BAKING' SOMETHING. IT WAS LIKE… A QUICHE. BUT FILLED WITH SUGARY, NON- EGG SUBSTANCE. HOW ABSURD!"

The Vault Dweller examines the trash can.

PAPYUS: "THAT'S THE TRASH CAN. FEEL FREE TO VISIT IT ANY TIME."

The Vault Dweller notices the fridge. He is not used to them being stocked with food, even after his time in the RUINS so he opens it with caution.

PAPYRUS: "AH- HA! INTERESTED IN MY FOOD MUSEUM? PLEASE. PERSUE MY CULINARY ARTSHOW."

Half of the fridge is filled with containers all labelled "spaghetti." The other half contains nothing but an empty bag of crisps. The Vault Dweller closes the fridge door and notices a very tall sink.

PAPYRUS: "IMPRESSED? I INCREASED THE HEIGHT OF MY SINK."

Vault Dweller: "Why in the world would you want to increase the height of your sink?"

PAPYRUS: "SO I CAN FIT MORE BONES UNDER IT! TAKE A LOOKSY!"

The Vault Dweller opens the really tall sink drawer. On the inside is the dog that was chewing on Papyrus' special attack and is still doing just that.

PAPYRUS: "WHAT!? CATCH THAT MEDDLING CANINE!"

The meddling canine runs out the front door as the Vault Dweller attempts to catch it.

PAPYRUS: "CURSES!"

sans on the trombone: *wah wah waaah*

PAPYUS: "SANS! STOP PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL MUSIC!"

Vault Dweller: "HAHAHA!"

After his laughter outburst the Vault Dweller proceeds to Papyrus' room on the second floor. It's covered in keep out signs and police tape. The other door at the far end of the hall has fire coming out… Anyways, back to Papyrus' room.

PAPYRUS: "THAT'S MY ROOM! IF YOU'RE FINISHED LOOKING AROUND… WE COULD GO IN AND… DO WHATEVER PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY DATE?"

Vault Dweller: *Gulp* *opens the door and goes in and papyrus follows*

Papyrus' room is a little bigger than the room the Vault Dweller stayed in at the RUINS. It's filled with lots of interesting stuff. For example, a box filled with bones.

PAPYRUS: "HEY, THOSE ARE ALL THE ATTACKS I USED ON YOU. GREAT MEMORIES, HUH? SEEMS LIKE IT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY… EVEN THOUGH IT BASICALLY JUST HAPPENED."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, I had a blast…"

A racecar bed.

PAPYRUS: "THAT'S MY BED! IF I EVER GET TO THE SURFACE… I'D LIKE TO DRIVE DOWN A LONG HIGHWAY. WIND IN MY HAIR… SUN ON MY SKIN… OF COURSE, THAT'S JUST A DREAM. SO INSTEAD I CRUISE WHEN I SNOOZE."

Vault Dweller: "I should warn you right now, most if not all highway systems today are either destroyed or inhabited by human settlements."

PAPYRUS: WHAT!? REALLY? THEN WHY EVEN HAVE HIGHWAYS!?"

Vault Dweller: "Well they were built before the bombs fell. After that people felt they were a good place to live because they are high above the ground. You might not be able to ride a long highway, but I bet you can cruise through the desert."

PAPYRUS: "WHY WOULD I DRIVE ON SWEET FOOD?"

Vault Dweller: "I didn't mean… never mind."

The Vault Dweller notices a table with Vault Tec bobbleheads on them.

PAPYRUS: "AH YES, BOBBLEHEADS! I'M NOT SURE WHY, BUT WHENEVER I FIND ONE I FEEL STRONGER. MAYBE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE BATTLE ADVICE ON THE BOTTOM."

The Vault Dweller looks at the underside of one of the bobbleheads and under the base it reads "The smart man knows a bandage only hides his wounds."

Vault Dweller: "Where did you get so many?"

PAPYRUS: "WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THEY'RE FROM… A CHUBBY, SMILING MAN WHO LOVES TO SURPRISE PEOPLE."

Vault Dweller: "So that would be…"

PAPYUS: "YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! SANTA!"

Vault Dweller: "… fair enough."

The Vault Dweller also notices a Vault Boy puppet on the table. He doesn't know why but the mere sight of it makes him very uneasy, so he decides not to ask where it came from.

A green flag with a skull is on the wall. The skull has an X on the forehead and the lips resemble tally marks.

PAPYRUS: "ISN'T THAT FLAG NEATO? UNDYNE FOUND IT AT THE BAY… I THINK IT'S FROM THE HUMAN WORLD? NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. WHY WOULD A HUMAN FLAG… HAVE A COOL SKELETON ON IT? WELL… I HAVE A THEORY. I THINK HUMANS… MUST HAVE DECENDED FROM SKELETONS! NYEH HEH HEH!"

Vault Dweller: "[Medicine [50/50] Actually, all humans have a skeleton just under our skin. It is our internal framework composed of 305 bones at birth and decreases to 206 bones by adulthood."

PAPYRUS: "SO, HUMANS ARE JUST SKELETONS WITH FLESHY ARMOR? THAT MEANS WE ARE PRACTICALLY BROTHERS!" *PAPYRUS HUGS THE VAULT DWELLER*

Vault Dweller: "Glad to be a part of the family."

The Vault Dweller ignores the bookshelf fearing he will get depressed again and looks inside the closet instead. Inside the closet, clothes are hung up neatly. One article of clothing catches the Vault Dwellers eye. It looks like a dark-red space suit of some kind. There are no gloves on it either. Finally, the Vault Dweller decides to start the date proper.

PAPYRUS: "DO YOU WANT TO START THE DATE?"

Vault Dweller: "Yes."

PAPYRUS: "OKAY! DATING START!"

DATING START!

PAPYRUS: "HERE WE ARE! ON OUR DATE! I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. BUT DON'T WORRY! YOU CAN'T SPELL 'PREPARED' WITHOUT SEVERAL LETTERS FROM MY NAME!" *HOLDS UP A BOOK* "I SNAGGED AN OFFICIAL DATING RULEBOOK FROM THE LIBRARY. WE'RE READY TO HAVE A GREAT TIME!" *LOOKS INSIDE THE BOOK* "LET'S SEE… PRESS THE [ C ] KEY ON YOUR KEYBOARD FOR 'DATING HUD.'"

I press c and a bunch of weird charts and radars appear on screen.

PAPYRUS: "WOWIE! I FEEL SO INFORMED! I THINK WE'RE READY FOR STEP TWO! 'STEP TWO… ASK THEM ON A DATE.'" *PUTS AWAY BOOK* "AHEM! HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… WILL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!"

Vault Dweller: "Ok."

PAPYRUS: "R- REALLY? WOWIE! I GUESS THAT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR PART THREE! 'STEP THREE… PUT ON NICE CLOTHES TO SHOW YOU CARE!' … WAIT A SECOND. 'WEAR CLOTHING…' YOUR SUIT HAS ARMOR AROUND IT AND A DIFFERENT NUMBER… AND THAT THING ON YOUR WRIST AND HAND… YOU'RE WEARING CLOTHING RIGHT NOW! NOT ONLY THAT… EARLIER TODAY, YOU WERE ALSO WEARING CLOTHING! NO… COULD IT BE? YOU'VE WANTED TO DATE ME FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!?

Vault Dweller: "[Confirmed Bachelor] Aw yeah baby."

PAPYRUS: *SHOCKED* "NO! YOU PLANNED IT ALL! YOU'RE WAY BETTER AT DATING THAN I AM! N-NOOOO! YOUR DATING POWER…!"

DATING POWER INCREASE BY 20%

PAPYRUS: *STERN EXPRESSION* "NYEH! NYEAH HEH HEH! DON'T THINK YOU'VE BESTED ME YET! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… HAVE NEVER BEEN BEATEN AT DATING, AND I NEVER WILL! I CAN EASILY KEEP UP WITH YOU! YOU SEE, I, TOO, CAN WEAR CLOTHING! IN FACT… I ALWAYS WEAR MY 'SPECIAL' CLOTHES UNDERNEATH MY REGULAR CLOTHES! JUST IN CASE SOMEBODY HAPPENS TO ASK ME ON A DATE! BEHOLD!" *RUNS OFF SCREEN THEN RUNS BACK ON SCREEN WEARING A TSHIRT WITH THE WORLDS "COOL DUDE" ON IT, SHORTS, SHOES AND A BASEBALL HAT* "NYEH! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY SECRET STYLE!?"

Vault Dweller: "I love it."

PAPYRUS: "NO! A GENUINE COMPLIMENT…!

DATING POWER INCREASE BY 50%

PAPYRUS: "HOWEVER… YOU DON'T TRULY UNDERSTAND THE HIDDEN POWER OF THIS OUTFIT! THEREFORE… WHAT YOU JUST SAID IS INVALID!"

DATING POWER DECREASE BY 20%

PAPYUS: "THIS DATE WON'T ESCALATE ANY FURTHER!... UNLESS YOU FIND MY SECRET! BUT THAT WON'T HAPPEN!"

Vault Dweller: "[Intelligence 1/1] It's under your hat, isn't it?"

PAPYRUS: "MY HAT…? MY HAT. MY HAT! NYEH HEH HEH!" *THE HAT FLOATS OFF HIS HEAD REVEALING A GIFT BOX* "W- WELL THEN… YOU FOUND MY SECRET! I SUPPOSE I HAVE NO CHOICE! IT'S A PRESENT… A PRESENT J- JUST FOR YOU!"

The Vault Dweller opens it revealing a plate of spaghetti.

PAPYRUS: "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?"

Vault Dweller: "Spaghetti."

PAPYRUS: "'SPAGHETTI.' THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID… RIGHT! BUT OH- SO WRONG! THIS AIN'T ANY PLAIN OL' PASTA! THIS IS AN ARTISAN'S WORK! SILKEN SPAGHETTI, FINELY AGED IN AN OAKEN CASK… THEN COOKED BY ME, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS! HUMAN! IT'S TIME TO END THIS! THERE'S NO WAY THIS CAN GO ANY FURTHER!"

The Vault Dweller scarfs down the spaghetti. He immediately regrets this decision and wallowing on the ground in agony. The taste is indescribable.

PAPYRUS: "WHAT A PASSIONATE EXPRESSION! YOU MUST REALLY LOVE MY COOKING!"

Vault Dweller: *hump* *hurr* *urrr* *uuugh* *blec* *barf*

PAPYRUS: "AND BY EXTENSION, ME! MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN I DO! AUGH! URRRGH! NOOOOOOO!"

DATING POWER EXCEEDING MAXIMUM CAPACITY! The Vault Dweller passes out and the room goes white.

PAPYRUS: "HUMAN. IT'S CLEAR NOW. YOU'RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME. EVERYTHING YOU DO. EVERYTHING YOU SAY. IT'S ALL BEEN FOR MY SAKE. HUMAN. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, TOO. IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS. IT'S TIME THAT I TOLD YOU. I, PAPYRUS…"

The room returns to normal and the Vault Dweller regains a small amount of consciousness but is still lying on the floor.

PAPYRUS: "I… UM… BOY, IS IT HOT IN HERE, OR IS IT JUST ME? … OH, SHOOT. HUMAN, I… I'M SORRY. I DON'T LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU LIKE ME. ROMANTICALLY, I MEAN. I MEAN, I TRIED VERY HARD TO! I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE YOU FLIRTED WITH ME… THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU. THEN, ON THE DATE, FEELINGS WOULD BLOSSOM FORTH! I WOULD BE ABLE TO MATCH YOUR PASSION FOR ME! BUT ALAS… I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… HAVE FAILED. I FEEL JUST THE SAME AS BEFORE. AND INSTEAD, BY DATING YOU… I HAVE ONLY DRAWN YOU DEEPER… INTO YOUR INTENSE LOVE FOR ME! A DARK PASSION, WITH NO ESCAPE. HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THIS TO MY DEAR FRIEND…? … NO! WAIT! THAT'S WRONG! I CAN'T FAIL AT ANYTHING! HUMAN! I'LL HELP YOU THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES! I'LL KEEP BEING YOUR COOL FRIEND… AND ACT LIKE THIS ALL NEVER HAPPENED." *PAPYRUS USES HIS MAGIC TO HEAL THE VAULT DWELLER AND RAISES HIM TO HIS FEET* "AFTER ALL, YOU ARE VERY GREAT. IT WOULD BE A TRAGIC TO LOSE YOUR FRIENDSHIP. SO PLEASE… DON'T CRY BECAUSE I WON'T KISS YOU. BECAUSE, I DON'T EVEN HAVE LIPS. AND HEY, SOMEDAY, YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME. WELL, NO. THAT'S NOT TRUE. BUT' ILL HELP YOU SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" *RUNS AWAY THEN COMES BACK* "OH, AND IF YOU EVER NEED TO REACH ME… HERE'S MY PHONE NUMBER. YOU CAN CALL ME ANY TIME! PLATONICALLY. WELL, GOTTA GO! NYEH HEH HEH!" *RUNS AWAY*

The Vault Dweller gained the perk "Sworn Off Spaghetti".

The Vault Dweller leaves sans and Papyrus' home with multiple mixed feelings and a slight taste of barf in his mouth and continues his quest in the next chapter…