"Attention class" Mr. Ratburn began "in a few minutes, the Magic Toolbox will begin shooting, so I hope you've decided what you plan to say. And when they leave, we'll resume our fascinating discussion on Magellan and his travel around the world."

"Man, even for special events we get homework" Buster whined.

Eventually Jerry & George entered through the door.

"It's Jerry Seinfeld!" Buster yelled happily "and, some other guy."

"Great, now I'm 'some other guy'" George complained.

"Mr. Seinfeld, would you autograph this joke book for me?" Buster asked eagerly.

"Sure, why not?" Jerry said. He took Buster's book and signed his name on it.

"Thanks" Buster replied "my name's Buster Baxter and I'm a real big fan of yours."

"Is that a fact?" Jerry replied, disinterested.

"I'm an aspiring comedian, and I was wondering, could you give me some tips on coming up with jokes?"

"Well developing material isn't all that hard. Just take a closer look at the normal things that happen all around you, and I guarantee you'll find something funny."

"Thanks, I'll try that" Buster replied.

Meanwhile, George was bothering the crew.

"See, Jerry's a close personal friend of mine, and he said I could help with the show" he explained "I have an important line to deliver. So, where should I stand?"

"You can just stand here for right now" replied the cameraman, a goat person.

"Okay, but when Jerry comes on, I'll need my cue."

"Yeah, whatever" the cameraman replied.

-----

Soon, it was time for the big scene.

"Hi I'm Jerry Seinfeld, and today I'm talking to some kids about comedy."

The camera shifted over to Buster "I love comedy, and jokes. I think jokes are the best things in the world. I…um, know a lot of jokes."

"Comedy's not always about jokes" Jerry explained "it's about looking at things in a funny way. What do you kids think is funny?"

"Farts" Binky replied.

"Seeing someone's underwear" Arthur replied, "unless it's mine."

"I don't know what is funny, but I know it's not funny when someone ties your braids together" Muffy said "I don't know who did it, but I'll find out."

"I like whoopie cushions" Buster added.

"Now I want you kids to come up with your own comedy routine" Jerry said "don't worry if you don't do well, it's not easy."

"What's this? Why it's my old friend Jerry Seinfeld" George said, upon coming into the camera's range "my very funny friend."

"Look kids, it's my friend, George Costanza" Jerry replied.

"How can you teach kids about comedy without your old pal George?" George asked "why I'm a barrel of laughs."

"Why do they call it a 'barrel of laughs' anyway?" Jerry asked, "is there an actual barrel somewhere, filled with laughter? And if so, I'd love to see who gets hired to fill it. See, now you kids try."

"My little sister D.W. is such a pest" Arthur said "when she was originally born, my parents wanted to call her 'cockroach.' Hey I did it!"

"What's up with Binky's head?" Buster asked "has anyone ever seen a stranger looking head? It looks like a big squash."

"Hey, that's mean" Binky replied.

"Why is the game called 'soccer', why can't it be called 'sock-him?' Get it? Sock-him?" Francine asked. There was no laughter "come on, that's funny!"

"Okay, so there are these two cannibals…" Sue Ellen began "wait, I'm not sure this joke is appropriate."

"Um…do me later" Fern said nervously.

"See, anyone can be a comedian" Jerry replied "but it takes a lot of hard work and practice."

"So stay in school" George added, pushing himself into the shot.

"And…cut."

"Well, I'm sure that wasn't too embarrassing" Jerry replied.

"Did you see me out there Jerry, I killed!" George said, "I'm a natural at this."

"If by 'this' you mean 'making a fool of yourself', then you're a regular Laurence Olivier" Jerry replied sarcastically.

Meanwhile, the Lakewood kids were thinking about their performances.

"See, the word 'soccer' sounds like 'sock-her', so I said…" Francine began.

"I got it Francine, but frankly, the joke just wasn't that funny" Brain replied.

"What do you know? You probably think fractions are hilarious."

"I do get a chuckle from irregular ones."

"That joke you made about D.W. was pretty funny" Buster told Arthur.

"Thanks, I guess I'm better at comedy than I thought" Arthur said "maybe I could be one when I grow up."

He imagined being older and standing on a stage in a comedy club.

"My sister D.W. is so annoying, she makes a foghorn seem like soothing music" he said.

"Boo, you stink!" said an older D.W. from the audience.

"Come on D.W., it's all in good fun" Arthur replied.

"Oh yeah?" D.W. asked "hey folks, my brother Arthur is so dumb, he tried to pull open a door that said 'push.'"

The audience laughed at her little joke.

"He's so stupid he needs directions to boil water."

"Hey, quit laughing" Arthur told the audience, "I'm the comedian here, not her."

"Arthur whines so much that our parents originally thought he was a smoke alarm" D.W. added.

Arthur could only stand and watch as the audience laughed at D.W.'s assorted putdowns.

"On second thought" Arthur said, coming out of the fantasy "maybe it's not the right career for me."

"I can't believe I didn't get a chance to tell my joke" Sue Ellen lamented "I should've gone with the 'escargot' one."

"At least you had a joke" Fern replied.

"Well, that was very nice class" Mr. Ratburn said, interrupting everyone "why don't we thank Mr. Seinfeld and his friend for coming in."

"Thank you Mr. Seinfeld and friend" the class replied.

"Great to be here" Jerry replied "remember what I said about comedy, and drive safe."

"But we can't…oh, I get it" Buster said, laughing.

"Now that all of this is over, we can get back to the important things in life; history" Mr. Ratburn said, eliciting a groan from the class.

-----

"Well, that was eventful" George told Jerry, as they headed down the hallway "when's our flight out?"

"We can't leave until Elaine & Kramer do their photo shoot thing" Jerry replied "remember, we're all taking the same flight."

"Oh yeah" George said "well, maybe we can find something to do while we're here. You wanna visit a museum?"

"Nah."

"Me neither" George added "how about we see a movie?"

"What's playing?"

"No idea."

"Maybe there's a café around here where we can have lunch" Jerry suggested.

"Yes, lunch is good" George replied "lunch is something we can do! Although shouldn't we wait for Kramer & Elaine?"

"Are you kidding? They've probably a nice catering spread at their photo shoot."

"You think so?"

"Sure, a fancy catalog like Peterman's can afford a good caterer."

"What do you think they have?" George asked.

"I don't know."

"Guess."

"Maybe lobster."

"They're getting lobster!"

"I said maybe they had lobster!" Jerry replied "I was taking a guess, like you said."

"Lucky Kramer" George replied "how come I wasn't invited to that photo shoot?"

"I can think of a few reasons" Jerry said "namely cause Elaine doesn't want you hanging around the fashions."

"Ha ha" George replied "let's just go get lunch already."

Just then, the bell rang and the kids left their classrooms. Buster caught up to Jerry & George before they could leave.

"Hey Mr. Seinfeld, I was wondering if you could give me a few more tips on humor" Buster explained.

"I was going to lunch…"

"Please? Oh please!"

Jerry sighed "all right, what do you want to know?"

"Can a joke be about anything?" Buster asked.

"This is great, Jerry's talking to some kid, and he got me all worked up about lunch, so now I'm hungry!" George whined "well, maybe they've got something in the cafeteria."

As he walked off, he passed by Principal Haney's office, where a familiar monkey girl was paying a call.

"So my dad has a sanitation engineers' convention to attend, and he won't be able to coach the team this week" Francine explained.

"Oh my, that is a problem" Mr. Haney replied "who can we find to replace him on such short notice?"

Moments later, George popped his head in the door.

"Hi there, George Costanza" he introduced himself "I couldn't help but overhear your problem, and I think I may be able to help."

-----

Soon after, Jerry & George stopped at little restaurant named Munk's. Jerry was quite amazed by George's earlier actions.

"So let me see if I understand this" Jerry said "you volunteered to be a middle school baseball coach?"

"You got it."

"Call me crazy, but don't you actually have to know something about a sport in order to coach it?"

"Hey, you're forgetting I worked for the Yankees for nine years."

"Yeah, but you made travel arrangements, you never played" Jerry replied.

"So what? This is my chance Jerry, my opportunity to leave my mark on the young people. I'll lead that team to victory, kind of like the Bad News Bears."

"Except the coach role is being played by Danny DeVito" Jerry replied.

"Ha ha, very funny Jerry" George replied angrily "you watch, those kids will love me!"

Before Jerry could make a remark, both he and George noticed a pair of familiar figures enter the diner.

"Elaine, Kramer?" George asked confused, "I thought you guys would have catered food at your photo shoot."

"Yeah, I wish" Elaine replied.

"You told me they had catering!"

"I said 'maybe' they did" Jerry replied "you always forget the maybe."

"So get this" Elaine said "I was looking through Kramer's resume today and I found out he never passed third grade."

"No" Jerry replied sarcastically.

"It's true Jerry" Kramer said, "I was having a lot of problems with my mom around that time, so it was hard for me to pay attention. The school eventually took pity on me and let me attend fourth grade, but I still wish I could've passed. That's a whole year of my academic life I won't get back."

"It's just elementary school, it doesn't matter" Jerry replied.

"Maybe not to you Jerry, oh no, you're a fully educated man" Kramer said "but me, I'll always have that blemish on my record. Think what I could've learned if I'd passed. I might be a different person today."

"I doubt that" Jerry replied.

"Too bad you can't go back there" George joked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's not like you can go back to third grade, I mean, you're like thirty" Goerge explained "but if you did, I bet you'd ace the class."

"I don't see why I can't" Kramer replied "people go back to college all the time."

"That's because those people are old enough to go to college" Jerry explained "you're way too old for third grade. Besides, how would you even get in?"

"Actually, I just got hired as temporary baseball coach at that local elementary school. I could probably pull some strings for ya" George suggested.

"Really?"

"Sure, why not?"

"You really need to ask?" Jerry enquired.

"Wait, somebody hired George as a baseball coach?" Elaine asked "are they aware he's never played baseball?"

"I've played!" George yelled "just, not very well. Besides, they were impressed by my years with the Yankees."

"You made travel arrangements."

"I'm still coaching!"

-----

The next day, at school, Francine explained the developments to her friends.

"So that bald guy that Mr. Seinfeld brought with him agreed to sub for my dad" she explained "he said he used to work for the Yankees, so he's got to be good."

"Wow, with a guy like that coaching us, we might actually beat Mighty Mountain" Arthur said excitedly.

"Attention class, I have an important announcement" Mr. Ratburn said, "we will have a new student joining our class today. Apparently, he failed third grade and hopes he will be able to pass this time. I should mention, he is older, quite a bit older, actually.

"Oh boy, another older kid!" Binky said happily.

"Anyway, meet our newest student, Cosmo Kramer" Ratburn finished, and moved aside, revealing Kramer, wearing a uniform that wouldn't be out of place in a public school.

---------------------------

Next time, George begins his job as coach of Lakewood's team, while Kramer makes friends with his fellow third graders.