Daze
disclaimer:I still do not own Haze,F.E.A.R.,Spyro,Hidden Invasion,Left 4 Dead,Assassin's creed or Fighting Force.
WARNING:CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT,MAKE SURE YOUR PARENT ISN'T LOOKING.
Chapter 3:S&*%load of cussing
The Dropship set down,the gang got approuched a soldier.
Duvall:"What the fuck happened here?"
Soldier:"We don't know sir,everyone was downstairs watching the season playoff."
Duvall:"Were you downstairs watching the season playoff?"
Soldier:"No,I was masterbating with a picture of Cynder,from Spyro Dawn of the Dragon,in the bathroom."
Duvall:"Oh,good."
Carpenter evesdropped a conversation between two soldiers.
Soldier 1:"Do you want to know what happened up here?"
Soldier 2:"uhh,sure whatever."
Soldier 1:"I heard a Soldier called this Black Ops guy's mother a 'chain smoking whore',and then he shot everyone,and jumped off."
Soldier 2:"whatever."
Soldier 1:"Shhhh,that guy is evesdropping us."
Carpenter thought they were referencing him,but they were actually talking about Altair from Assassin's Creed who was sitting on a nearby walked over to the radio with Duvall and Watchstrap(who kept touching a nearby soldier's ass).Carpenter,after wandering around aimlessly for a few minutes,joined them.
Radio:"Mantel forces clashed with Promise Hand rebels at a crashed plane ,observers are still trying to locate Gabriel Merino A.K.A Skinpants,due to the tendency to wear the skin of his victims as pants."
Watchstrap:"Why don't the nice news lady tell that Skinpants guy to go suck my..errrr some balls?"
Duvall:"uuhhh..(points offscreen towards line card) th-thats woo-why we-we're h-here -dum-dumbass."
Watchstrap:"I'd like to hear her say that anyway.(feminine voice)Go suck some balls Skinpants."
Peshy:"Y-Yeah!L-Lets g-go k-kill t-that f-fucking m-motherfucker,F-FUCK!"
Watchstrap:"What's wrong?"
Peshy:"N-Nothing r-really,I-I j-just l-like c-cussing a-alot."
Loudspeaker:"Units 'Pink Bumble Bee' and 'Yellow Butterfly' report to dropships immediatly."
Duvall:"That's us,let's go."
Duvall,Peshy,Watchstrap,Carpenter,Pointman,Gilroy,and Sherman went to the assigned dropship.
Duvall:"Carpenter,get your rear in gear!"
Carpenter:"I'm right here." he said as he stood right beside Duvall.
Duvall:"oh..........Good."
The gang got on and it took off.
Gavin Sullivan (pilot):"You guy's have to investigate a distress signal coming from a crashed boat."
Carpenter:"Why are they sending a fully armed squad?"
Sullivan:"You don't need to know the details."
Carpenter:"Why?"
Sullivan:"You won't like the answer."
Carpenter:"Is it coming from Teare who found out that Nectar really kills those who use it,and Mantel shoved the bodies away so we won't question it?"
Sullivan:"O_O................."
Suddenly the dropship jarred to the side and everyone fell to the floor.
Duvall:"What the hell was that?"
Sullivan:"Orders dude from Fighting Force 2 spotted that Skinpants motherfucker at the General wants you guys to capture him."
Peshy:"I-I d-d-d-d-d-don't w-w-w-w-w-w-want t-t-t-t-t-t-that f-f-f-f-f-f-freak t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-to g-g-g-g-g-get h-h-h-h-h-his s-s-s-s-s-s-s-skinpants o-o-o-o-o-o-o-on m-m-m-m-m-m-me."
Carpenter:"Your studdering is getting worse."
Peshy:"Y-Y-Y-Y-You c-c-c-c-c-c-calling m-m-m-m-m-m-me a-a-a-a-a f-f-f-f-f-fagg?"
Watchstrap:"Don't call him a fagg sir."
Carpenter:"Your right Watchstrap,I should be calling YOU A FAGG!"
Watchstrap:"What?I'm not gay!"
Duvall:"Carpenter,remember what I told you."
Carpenter:"What? About that list thing?"
Duvall:"Yes,you ever love anyone? Abe Lincoln? Your mommy?"
Carpenter:"yes."
Duvall:"You ever hate anyone? Barack Obama? That guy from Hidden Invasion?"
Carpenter:"Yes."
Duvall:"These feelings are a bunch of little green guys when you killed all the senators to clean up congress,you were doing whatever those little green guys if you got 2 teammates down,save the one with the shotgun,not the one with just the pistol's."(Left 4 Dead reference)
Carpenter:"Okay,so if you get shot,I'll save the Pointman since he has better guns."
Duvall:"You also have have to take ranks into consideration."
Carpenter:"So if the General is wounded I'll carry him instead of you."
Duvall:"ARGH....."
Coming next,the Boxcart!
A/N:Sorry it took so long,I started several other more updates until I get some DAMN REVIEWS!
Parker:"Calm down Leon."
ME:"GO F YOURSELF!"
end.
