Thursday afternoon, December 3
"Hey Shaun," I heard Bradie say behind me. I smiled to myself. He was here and he was on time. I turned around from where I had been looking out the small window. He was here. He was on time. And he looked messed up. I went over to the other side of the room where Bradie was sitting at the drum kit and Shaun was standing beside the drum kit, not doing anything. His hair was a mess, his clothes were ripped and hanging off his body. His eyes were bloodshot and when I got closer I could smell the alcohol on him. That's it, I thought. If he's not going to bother doing anything right then either am I.
"Where've you been?" I asked him. He smiled and traced his finger around the edge of one of the drums.
"I was out all night. I haven't slept," he said with a huge grin on his face. I shook my head at him.
"Get the fuck out of here Shaun! We're not recording! You've ruined every day for us! We can't fucking record if we haven't got a singer!" I yelled but he wasn't affected by it. He stared at me with a blank look on his face but it seemed as if he was still trying to figure out what I had said to him.
"Andy don't yell at him we can still record-" Bradie stared, lightly tapping on the drums with his drumsticks. I shook my head and looked down at him sitting on the small seat.
"No we can't! Our singer has been drinking all night and hasn't slept! It will take him all day to sober up and by then the studio will be closed," I yelled. My voice was shaky and I was breathing hard. I was angrier than I thought. I realized my fists were clenched. I relaxed my hands and noticed small welts in my palm from my fingernails. "I'm going home," I said. I stuck my hand out to Bradie for his keys. He stared up at me.
"We can't just leave, we've gotta record," he said to me. I sighed and looked at Shaun who was still staring at the both of us.
"Fine, I'll be waiting in the car," I said and stomped out of the room and down the hallway. Why would Bradie think we could still record if Shaun was drunk? I mean, if it was Bradie who couldn't, not wouldn't, come to record himself playing drums we could've got someone to fill in if we really had to. But we can't get someone else to record the singing, Shaun has to do it. I thought about this as I walked to the end of the hallway and into the reception. I was going to book us another recording session.
"Hey, um my band and I were supposed to be recording today," I started and she smiled and nodded, "But we can't really do it. Our singer's uh, sick. Was just wondering if it would be possible if we could record some other time?" I asked. I knew our manager wouldn't be happy about this but it wasn't my fault. Besides, he wasn't even here. He was in Brisbane this week with some other band. The lady started typing on her computer.
"Well, you can record another time but it won't be for a while," she told me, looking at the computer screen. I nodded and bit my lip. I was beginning to feel calmer. Knowing that we were going to get this song recorded made me a bit more calm. But everytime I thought of Shaun standing there drunk I started to clench my fists again.
"When's the earliest time we can do it?" I asked.
"Uh, let's see. . . Actually we have two open rooms on January three or January five," she said, looking up at me. That was only a month away. A grin slowly spead across my face. Maybe we could get this recorded earlier than I thought.
"Really? Thought we would've had to wait longer than that," I said to her.
"Well the thing is you would only have the Recording Room for two hours. It's not exactly a recording session it's just not in use for these certain two hours on those two days," she told me politely. I nodded. Well I guess that would have to do. I'm sure if we spent some time practising for the next few weeks we could record it in those two hours.
"Okay, that's cool. Um, we'll take the fifth," I told her. She nodded slowly and looked back at the computer screen.
"That's fine, what name will I put it under?" she asked.
"Uh, Bradie Webb," I told her. She nodded again and typed in the name. I always used Bradie's name for things like this. Just because if I told them my own name they usually asked me to spell out my surname and that took too long for my liking, "Okay, so that's a two hour recording session on January five at twelve-thirty for Bradie Webb," she told me all the details. I nodded to let her know everything was right as she read it out.
"Yup, thanks alot," I said, smiling at her and turned to walk outside. I was going to call Bradie so we could leave. I stepped outside. It looked like it was going to rain soon, the sky was full of dark grey clouds. But the air was still warm. I breathed in the fresh air and took out my phone. I found Bradie's name under contacts and called him. I turned right to make my way to Bradie's car when I realized someone was actually standing there, leaning against the wall. I jumped and about dropped my phone when I realized it was Shaun. I walked up to him and hung up the call I was making. It was time to ask what was really wrong with him.
"Hey," I said. He looked up at me, "Where'd you go last night?" I asked. He shrugged, "Just tell me."
"I really don't know where I went. I didn't go home though, I was out all night," he honestly told me. I bit my lip. I couldn't exactly ask him what was wrong when he had been drinking all night. He probably wouldn't remember what was wrong.
"Look Shaun, I don't know exactly why you're acting like this but you gotta stop! I'm sure Jaselyn is making you do all this shit. You're ruining everything. You're ruining yourself!" I said. I didn't know what to say. Nothing I could say would make him stop following Jaselyn. Nothing I could say would make him be the real person he is.
He kept staring back at me, still with a blank expression.
"Whatever, Shaun. You won't listen to me. Look, we're recording again in a month. On January five. So make sure you practise. I'll call you later," I told him and kept on my way to Bradie's car.
"Wait!" he yelled after me. I stopped and turned to watch him walk up to me.
"I'm sorry about all this," he said and it looked like he was being serious about it, "I just, I don't know. I know this is because of Jaselyn but I can't let her go,"
"What do you mean this is because of her?" I asked. He looked down at his clothes and back up at me.
"I mean the drinking, staying out all night, smoking, having no money. I can't remember where I was last night. I don't even know how I remembered to come here this morning," he said. A part of me knew he was lying or talking shit. Of course he was. Or is it just a coincidence that the day after he stayed out drinking he came and apologized? He probably had no idea what he was saying. But then a different part of me, a bigger part, wanted me to just forget it all. He really was sorry and besides, he's my best friend. I sighed and looked down at the ground before I looked back at his face. He looked sorry.
"How did you get here?" I asked. He shrugged.
"I got the train here yesterday morning," he told me. I nodded.
"C'mon, Bradie will drive you home," I said turning around and he silently followed me to Bradie's car. I called Bradie once we got there and he came out a few minutes later. He didn't question Shaun being there or coming home with us. I doubt Shaun would've answered him. He's been ignoring him since yesterday afternoon.
We drove the whole way home in silence. I'm serious. Not one of us said a word the whole way home. I think Shaun fell asleep in the back seat for awhile so he had no chance to speak. But the silence was driving me crazy. Eventually we arrived at Shaun's house. I decided to take him inside, to make sure he was okay. Shaun led the way to the front door. He didn't have his key so he knocked, keeping his hands folded in front of him and staring up at the sky. His brother opened the door.
"So you decided to come home. Mum was about to call the police when you didn't come in last night," Chris said as we stepped inside. Shaun ignored him and looked around the house as he took off his jacket and chucked it into the corner next to the door.
"I was fine, where is she? Is she home?" he asked in a demanding voice. Chris sighed and shut the door behind us.
"Yeah she's in the kitchen," he said. Shaun nodded and walked to the staircase. He didn't question me when I said I would come inside with him for a minute so I followed him.
"Shaun! Is that you?" his mum called from the kitchen. We both loudly ran up the stairs to the landing.
"Yes!" he called back as we reached the top of the stairs.
"Come downstairs a minute!" she called up to him.
"No!" he instantly yelled back as we started to walk across the landing and down the hallway.
"Come downstairs now!" she called back, getting angrier. Shaun turned around and walked to the banister. I turned around and watched what he did.
"No! I'm busy!" he yelled, leaning over the banister and screaming towards the kitchen, "Shut up! Andy's here and we're busy!" I watched him turn around, smile at me and continue on to his bedroom like nothing had happened. I stared after him, my mouth hanging open. I couldn't believe he had just spoken to his mum like that. I looked down to the first floor of the house where his mum was now standing, staring up at me with her mouth open too. I didn't know what to do. Should I say something to her? So I just turned away and went to Shaun's room. He was sitting on his bed, taking off his shoes. I looked around his room. The piles of clothes that had been there before we went on tour were still on the floor. And his big iPod dock that he kept on a small table in the corner was gone. He loved that thing.
"Where's your iPod dock?" I asked, sitting down on his bed. He shrugged.
"Got rid of it," he said quietly, throwing his shoes into the corner of the room.
"Why?" I asked. He looked at me, like I had offended him or something.
"Andy do you have to fucking question everything I do?!" he kept looking at me and I stared back, hurt. "I sold it. I didn't want it. Now get the fuck out of my room, I don't want you here," he stood up and plugged his phone into the charger, leaving his phone to charge on his bedside table. I watched him. Should I stay? Should I go? What if I run into his mum on the way out? What if his mum asks what's going on? I still won't be able to answer that question.
"Why did you sell it?" I asked quietly. He turned around from where he had been rummaging around on the small table where his iPod dock used to be.
"Why do you care? Would you fucking get out! You're really annoying me," he yelled, "Just leave!" And I did. I stood up and left. I didn't look at him or say anything as I left the room, walked down the hallway to the staircase and headed towards the front door. Chris stopped me before I left.
"What's wrong with him?" he asked, looking worried. I shrugged.
"I really don't know. I mean, he told me he was out all night last night. He's been acting really weird. We uh, couldn't even record because he either didn't show up or he was drunk," I admitted. He was surprised.
"He barely talks to me," he told me, "Just before was the first time he'd talked to me in a few days. And he always talks to our parents like that," he said, referring to the way he had yelled at his mum before. I nodded.
"He won't talk to Bradie either. But I gotta go. If he tells me what's wrong, though I doubt he'll talk to me anymore, I'll tell you. See ya," I said, opening the front door and leaving. Chris watched me walk to Bradie's car where he was still waiting for me and I heard him slam the front door shut.