When Sasuke answered the door it was only because he had completely forgotten Naruto's promise, otherwise he would have ignored the doorbell. "Oh, right..." he breathed, staring at Naruto's blank face as the other boy stuffed it with a vending machine sandwich.
"I brought sandwiches," he said with his mouth full. "I wasn't sure if this was gonna be some sort of deep shit that was going to involve comfort food."
"How are those even comfort food? And no."
"I can't cook very well," Naruto admitted. "And this was on the way." He pushed past Sasuke before Sasuke had the chance to slam the door in Naruto's face, and then Naruto kicked off his shoes before heading to the living room where he was undoubtedly getting crumbs all over the place. "So where are you and Sakura at this stage?" He plopped onto the couch.
"We aren't. Sakura rejected me."
Naruto suddenly went into a coughing fit, bits of already chewed bread shooting into all directions to never be found again. He put his hands to his throat as if he could be choking, but Sasuke made no attempt to help him or ask if he was okay, even as he fell off the couch, onto his knees and eventually his face.
"Please be dead," Sasuke muttered.
Naruto gasped in a giant breath. "WHAT?"
Sasuke said nothing, hands on his hips as he stared at the sandwich and all its crumbs now inhabiting his cushion.
"There's no fucking way! No fucking way! Are you sure? Like how?"
"She said no. No is a pretty clear answer."
"No it's not," Naruto said holding up a finger. "Was it like, 'Oh, no Sasuke, stop it you dirty boy...!' as you fuck the shit out of her because that's like the opposite of no."
Sasuke eyes widened. "Of course not! We don't-! What the-! Is you head always in the gutter? I don't have time for this."
"Oh sorry. I was just assuming you guys have been fucking since I haven't seen Sakura in a while. I was gone for those two long missions I had and the both of you have been mostly in the village at the same time, not to mention that one mission that the two of you went on together last month. I figured you guys got close without me around."
"Well don't assume."
"But you guys were dating right?"
"I don't think I want to talk about this with you anymore, Naruto. You should go home."
"You totally were! I saw you at that same restaurant all the time! They're dates. Weren't they?"
Sasuke bit his lip as he turned his gaze away, thinking of an answer.
"I mean how can you not know? Who invited who?"
"I did," Sasuke said impatiently.
"What was said? How did you invite her?"
"We don't really talk," Sasuke admitted.
"What do you mean? She just followed you into the restaurant without any of you speaking?"
Sasuke cocked his head and lifted a shoulder. "Pretty much how it happened. I was hungry after the mission and too tired to cook. Then it became a habit."
"No... You had to say something."
"I said her name. So that she would follow me inside."
Naruto was looking at Sasuke with wide eyes.
"What!?"
"You're supposed to be like, 'Sakura, you wanna go on a date?' and then she's supposed to be like, "Oh okay, if you're paying."'"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto. "That sounds a little too familiar..."
Naruto opened his mouth but nothing came out. He tried again. "Well who paid for dinner?"
"I did." There was a pause. "But she always puts money on the table before she leaves."
"Sasuke, that means she doesn't see it at as a date!"
"Then what the hell does she see it as?! I still pay! I've been saving her money for her. I had planned to give it back... eventually."
Naruto shook his head at Sasuke. "Though I am a little surprise that she offered to go dutch. She never offered at any of the times she went out with me."
Sasuke's attention shot to Naruto, eyes flailing up in shock and anger. "She's gone out with your more than once?! And you paid for her dinner?!"
Now Naruto actually did look scared. "They weren't romantic dates!"
"But romantic enough for you to pay for her! How many?! How much?!"
"What?"
Sasuke dug into his pocket for his wallet, taking all the money that he had in it out and throwing it at the small table that sat in front of the couch. "If I pay you, it's like I paid for it."
"You're being a little ridiculous now, but I accept because dating is expensive," Naruto replied as he leaned forward to take the money.
Sasuke dug his fingers into the hair on either side of his head "She likes you!" he said.
"No she doesn't," Naruto said calmly and positive of his statement.
"Yes she does." Sasuke sunk down to his knees, forehead resting against the floor.
"No she doesn't," Naruto repeated. He gazed at Sasuke wallowing in despair for a moment. "Whoa, Sasuke." He got up from the couch and walked over to the other boy, kneeling to be at his level. "You must like Sakura a lot."
"That's not it." Sasuke lifted his head. "I just don't like it when things don't go the way I expect them. I'm over it."
"Here, eat an egg salad sandwich. It's comfort food." Naruto stuck an unopened one in the direction of Sasuke's face.
Sasuke slapped it to the ground. "I don't want that!" he snapped. He sat up, crossing his legs. "I'm not upset. There are plenty of other women for me to choose from."
Naruto was staring at him like he didn't believe him at all. "Let me tell you something Sasuke, about me and Sakura."
"I don't think I want to hear this."
"I'm so..." Naruto held up his hands. "deep within the friendzone with her, that I think it's the deepest friendzone in the history of all friendzoning. She tells me more things than she tells Ino. And trust me, I've learned some things about the menstrual cycle that I've never ever wanted to know."
"It doesn't matter," Sasuke said. "I don't care what you think your relationship with Sakura is. Sakura doesn't like me anymore, and it's fine. I get it."
Naruto slapped Sasuke's cheek. "Bastard! Don't ever give up!"
"You did."
"I didn't give up. I just found someone better."
Sasuke grunted. "Whatever."
"Don't. Be. Jealous." Naruto said, poking Sasuke in the arm with each word.
"I'm not jealous! What is there for me to be even jealous of?" Sasuke almost regretted the rhetorical question as there were so many things he was jealous of. He was basically made up of jealousy, especially when it came to Naruto.
"That I have a girlfriend."
"She's not even officially your girlfriend yet."
"See, you pointing things like that out just make it more obvious. But if you also got a girlfriend, then I wouldn't feel like I had to choose who to spend my free time with."
"I didn't invite you here. You didn't have to come. I didn't want you to!"
Naruto gave Sasuke's shoulder a squeeze. "Are you sure you don't want me to talk to her."
"Yes. I am completely sure."
"Because there's got to be some sort of misunderstanding. It just doesn't make sense."
Sasuke stared dully at Naruto. "Maybe it has something to do with my leaving, the countless crimes I have committed, my attempt to kill her and my threat to destroy her home and everything she loves."
"Shut up Saskue. She loves you."
"Love can't forgive everything."
"Things will work out. Stop being depressed about this."
"I'm not. Is this conversation over yet?"
"I guess so, if you want. You can always talk about things with me, you know, right?" Naruto got up and went back to the couch to retrieve his partially eaten sandwich. "Because we're friends." Then he whispered. "Forever..."
"Yea, just leave. I have things to do." Naruto grinned, pleased that Sasuke didn't deny their friendship like he normally did, before bidding him goodbye and leaving.