it's a surprise ive made it this far . wow. and no matter how many times yall ask im not gonna make it so lucas finds out quite yet, but trust me, he's gonna find out a whole lot sooner than other people

"Well, this is a complete and utter horseshit, you know that?" she grumbled out into the air uselessly, no one around to help her navigate the shit school she was at. It was gigantic, several floors that Maya didn't know how to get to and from. Sure, it was beautiful. It was white with a blue hi-light, the architecture beautifully done and a numerous amount of paintings circulating the schools halls. But not only was it beautiful, it was gigantic compared to her small haven of a high school known as John Quincy Adams High and she had no utter idea how to navigate the damned place.

And just when she decided to turn around, her head hit into something hard and her body fell plummeting to the ground. And when she heard his sweet, soft laugh, she knew exactly who it was. She was certain that she heard an obnoxious twinge to his laugh and she wanted to rip his eyeballs out from his sockets and shove it up his ass.

She grumbled and rolled her eyes, putting her hands on the ground and pushing herself to get it up. Once she was up, she readjusted her wig slightly to make sure it was still on and dusted off the dust particles that managed to get on her due to her fall. "You're a piece of shit, you know that?" she told him indignantly, paying no mind to the one eyebrow he had raised due to her comment.

Lucas whistled lowly, shaking his head and smiling. "You've got quite a mouth there, Shorty. And a short fuse, if I may add on that. Let's just hope here that you don't have a short dick, for all of our sakes."

Maya took a long gulp and closed her eyes momentarily, thinking of what to say to the ass standing in front of her. She needed to act like a man, and if she wanted to act like a man, she needed to speak like a man. And if she wanted to speak like a man, she needed to think like a man. What would Auggie say in this situation? Granted, Auggie was only a mere thirteen years of age but she had no better example in her head. Cory would be appalled and her dad had left her all those years ago, so really, Auggie was the only male figure in her life to help her with her current situation.

"W - why would that be bad?" she asked him before she could think about her words, mentally slapping herself in the face. "What's wrong with me having a short dick - which I don't," which was entirely true, "but what's the matter if I do?" She was rambling on, which she never did, she really needed to get a hold of herself before she spit out something like the fact that she was a girl. God only knows how bad that would go.

Lucas' face was still for a moment, which caught Maya's breath as if she had said something that had given away her identity. She was certain she was wearing that cologne that Riley had stolen from her father, and she was certain that she had dropped her voice a few octaves down. What more was there to ask?

But then his face broke out in a wide smile and her heart melted into goo and she mentally slapped herself in the face. Okay, he was attractive, she'd have to admit. But he was just some douche head calling himself the head of the school for whatever reason. So she kept a straight face and shoved that feeling she recently had to the base of her stomach where she hoped it wouldn't be disturbed. "You're one funny guy," Lucas said with a chuckle, slapping Maya's back and making her wince in pain slightly, but she kept her groan inside. "Dude, I think I've taken a liking to you and I don't really take a liking to anyone. Ask my bro Zay, you familiar with him, right?"

Maya shook her head, proceeding to scratch the nape of her neck, unsure of what to say next. "Anyway," she insinuated sharply, giving him an odd look. "I thought you were taking your nap."

"Dude, I was," he said with a goofy smile, his hands resting at his sides as he peered down to the shorter one in front of him. And if Lucas was completely honest, he had found that this new short kid was bemusing and amusing in a way, none of his other roommates had really given him a challenge. They were all boring upperclassman that Lucas couldn't care for, but this little Matt guy was way too full of anger for his own good.

Lucas continued, forgetting what he was talking about momentarily. "But then my fucking ringtone woke the shit up out of me!" he shook his head dramatically. "You know my bro Zay, right? I was talking about him earlier—"

"Yes," Maya drawled, rolling her eyes and tapping her foot impatiently. "I know who your bro Zay is. Does this story have a plot to it? I have places to be."

Lucas scoffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Dude, you gotta let me finish." He continued. "Anyway, my bro Zay set up my ringtone to be this obnoxious southern tune because he thinks he's funny—when he's not, by the way. Like not all," and Maya gave him this glare and all he did was chuckle. "Anyway, so I was picking up my phone and it was my dad," and suddenly the mood changed and it had shifted so suddenly, Maya had to keep her feet upright. The look in his eyes had darkened and his jaw was clenched and his fists were in balls.

"Dude, you okay?" she asked him, looking over his stance. Clearly, his dad was a sensitive topic with him.

And then Lucas shook his head softly, letting his familiar goofy grin flood back to his face. "Anyway, I totally ignored that call and got all pissed and stuff and decided to take a walk around the halls to see what was happening. Saw some of my chill friends so hung out with them for a little bit then came up here, because normally this level is completely empty and then I so happened to stumble on you swearing at the walls."

Maya didn't want to hear the whole story but she did so anyway, and when he was finished, she rolled her eyes so far back in her she saw black. "Anyway," she yawned, toying with her class card in her hand. "That was a total and complete waste of my time. Gotta go, Huckleberry, go finish my class schedule out and shit because clearly none of you shitheads are willing to help me."

"Well," he shrugged, "you're a freshman."

Maya's eyes nearly popped out of her head once she heard the words streaming from his lips and she was this close to finding the nearest knife and chopping off his head. Clearly, all she wanted to do him was fuck him or murder him and she wasn't so sure that was a good combination. "I'm not a freshman! I'm a senior! I am literally seventeen going on eighteen what kind of pinheaded, doofus, shi—"

"Dude!" Lucas interrupted her with a confused look, his hands going up to a surrender position. "I was only joking because of your height, clearly you take easy offense to everything I say. Chill a little, won't you?"

"Oh, I'll show you chill!" she screeched out, ready to pounce on him to claw out his beautiful green eyeballs. They wouldn't be so beautiful, she thinks, once they're a bloody mass in my hands.

But before she can even think about making her move, Lucas' hands are already clasped around her wrists and he's fucking strong, his abs and biceps should have been an indicator. She can't move her wrists in any motion or she's certain that she's going to wake up with a bruise. "You're fucking crazy," he notes. "You know that?"

"I get that a lot."

Lucas hesitates to remove his hands for a moment, watching her face to see if she's ready to pounce on him again. (In Lucas' perspective, though, all he sees is some short blonde little dude who takes offense to everything he says and quite frankly, he doesn't understand.) They wait a few beats, his hand still clasped tightly around her wrists and her glare so hard that if looks could kill, he'd be dead by now.

Lucas loosens his grip up on the short blonde and she finally tugs away from him, rubbing her wrists sadly in pain. He had a death grip. "That fucking hurt, you know?"

"You want to know what would have also hurt?" he asks her. "You clawing out my eyeballs, but you know, we don't always get what we want." She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Dude, you've got some real soft skin," he then notes suddenly and her eyebrows raise at that. What was she supposed to say? Of course she had soft skin, she moisturized! But normal dudes don't moisturize, right?

She has to clear her throat a couple of times before attempting to divert to the topic of conversation. "You know, nice talking to you Lucas. I'm going to go figure out my class schedule while you do whatever douchebags like you do."

He clicks his tongue and shakes his head, his arms folding in front of his chest and making Maya think irreverent thoughts. If her best friend Riley was here, there would be no doubt that she would most definitely be in a pile of goo. "You so easily call me a douchebag," he states, "without even knowing me in the first place. Listen, we're roommates and we ought to get to know each other, right? I mean, I heard that roommates become the best of friends or whatever."

"I'm not interested in becoming the 'best of friends or whatever' with you. You hear me? I'm not interested," she punctuates loudly as if he were a baby and he didn't understand (he clearly didn't).

"Okay," Lucas drawled, unsure of what to say next. "Clearly, you don't know whether or not to trust me, and I get that! But if you—"

She raised her hand to indicate him to stop talking, because quite frankly, she couldn't deal with anymore of the bullshit he is clearly spewing out. "No, I know whether or not to trust you. It's not that hard of a decision, Quickdraw."

"Quickdraw?" he asked her in disbelief, confused with her obvious resentment and anger towards him. They literally met, like, an hour ago or something and she clearly already hated him. And he wasn't really used to this feeling because everyone liked him. "Where do you come up with this shit, Shorty?"

"My name is Matt!" she nearly screeched at the top of her lungs.

"You take offense to everything I say!" he yelled right back, getting immediately defensive in the way she was acting harsh and cruel towards him. "And my name is Lucas, if we're going down that route."

She huffed angrily and stomped her foot on the ground, taking in deep breaths to control her anger. This Lucas guy really got under her skin, and quick, and she had no idea what to about it. He was so fucking obnoxious to her for some reason and he wasn't as bad as Zay had described him, even toned down a little. But she had already set an image of him in her mind and that was of him naked so forgive her if she was a little angry at him for his welcome that he had given her (that welcome being that she saw his junk long before she ever saw his face).

Lucas' hand went to the back of his neck reflexively and he rubbed it awkwardly. "I mean, if I have to prove myself to you or whatever I will, I mean, if you want. I'll show you where your classes are."

But Maya payed no mind to him, crushing her card in her hand and turning around on her heel, stomping away from him to go find her classes on her own. Which would likely take years, but she wasn't in the mood to be affiliated with some womanizer (and, you know, she's had quite her fair share in that department, but he wouldn't understand so he didn't need to know).

"You're gonna get lost!" he stated, but she ignored his frill voice and finds her way.

(She got lost. Maybe thirty times before ever finding the first class on her schedule card.)

/

Going to bed was no pleasant ride either, for the both of them. Maya had to figure out someway to hide her boob bandages (Riley dubbed the name) without him finding out because no way in hell was she going to wear those shitfests twenty four seven. She also had to figure out a way to hide her hair once she took off her wig.

And so she had decided on this: she would go to bed later and wake up earlier. Which was ultimately a bad idea on her part, because it left her grumpy all fucking day because of her recent drop in sleep hours. And so, automatically, she was rash to him, which increased by a tenfold with her lack of sleep. God, she hated Riley.

Plus, when he woke up, he had no shirt on and she was certain that he was going to start doing his naked stretches in the middle of the room again. (And on top of that, she missed flaunting her curves but that was a thing for another day.)

"Are you ever, like, not partly naked?" she asked him, double checking that her bandages around her breast were secure.

"Why?" he responded, only just getting up with only his boxers and no shirt (and his chest was fucking glistening). "Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"Yes!" and then he would laugh at her, the kind of laugh he would get when he's making fun of her or just trying to be plain obnoxious. She thinks she has him pinned down, you know. He's the type where he gets away with everything and anything, no one even bats an eye when he does something wrong. He's got this huge ego where he thinks that everyone loves him and when some little short boy the size of a third grader doesn't, he gets offended because he can't deal with the idea of one person not liking him. He's also a d-bag because according to the various amounts of rumors she had heard when she spent her time wandering around the campus, he beds someone and then drops them the next day.

He scratched his head for a moment, picking up the dirty laundry on his side of the room and kicking it under his bed. "You know what we should do?" he interrogated the young blonde lightly, his eyes filled with a type of mirth mischievously and Maya knew that whatever he was going to suggest would most likely end up in a doomed hell.

So she rubbed her temples slightly, preparing for his idea. "What would that be?" she asked him, grabbing her backpack under her bed so she could attempt to find her first period (and at this point, she was regretting not letting Lucas help her but he didn't need to know that).

"We need a boys night out!" And Maya nearly gagged, but he continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "You're clearly uncomfortable here at this school—"

"That's because of you."

"—and you're my roommate—"

"Much to my dismay!"

"—and you really don't have any friends—"

"I'm going to beat the shit outta you."

"—and me and my friends know this place outside of school and we're willing to hook you up, you know? I mean, if you're really not gay like you claim you are, then you wouldn't mind a little boys night out at some clubs."

Maya groaned. No way in hell was she going to go to a nightclub with her roommate. No way in hell. "I'm not going to a nightclub with you, Huckleberry. Nice try, though."

"It'll be fun!" Lucas whined, stomping his foot on the ground like a child. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, thinking of a way to convince his blonde roommate to go with him to the nightclub. "I mean, I get it if you have a girlfriend, which I'm sure you don't."

Maya's eyes fluttered open and a thought came to her mind, if she wanted Lucas to get off her back about the nightclub ordeal, she could totally act and pretend she had a girlfriend. (Of course, she thought, I'm so stupid.) "As a matter of fact, I do. Have a girlfriend, that is."

"With your height?" Lucas scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Who would date someone like you?"

Maya's eyes shot up in surprise at his snarky comment and the veins in her arms bulged with anger. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means," he said with a click of his tongue, his eyebrow quirking slightly and being satisfied with her immediate angry response. I have to get him riled up, is his thought, if I want to convince him to come to the club with me. He continued, "No one would want to date someone with your petite size and apparent lack of masculinity. It's just not attractive to girls, really."

And how on earth would he know what girls find attractive in boys? Maya knew fairly well that size didn't matter to her (well, the size of some other things did but she wouldn't go into details) and it was more of the personality than how they looked, and he had just assumed that every girl was so shallow to only care about appearance. She was furious, and not for the reasons he thought (and, well, for that too). "You know," she growled, "I'll show you lack of masculinity."

Just the reaction he had wanted.

Before she could reach up and attempt to claw his eyeballs out the second time in two days, he had grabbed her small wrists with ease and watched her scramble uselessly, trying to tug her body free from his hold. "I mean, you can prove it. You know how important masculinity is to us males, considering you are one." Her breath hitched as his eyes suggested something different and she had to bite her tongue to keep herself from kicking his shins.

Her eyes narrowed as she felt his grip on her slacken slightly, and she tugged uselessly, still no successful attempt at breaking free from his hands. "I'm not going to the club, Hop-A-Long." He snorted at that, his eyebrows raising as he heard yet another one of his (or her?) nicknames. He wouldn't be able to get used to him, would he?

And suddenly, he dropped her wrists from his hands and shrugged, shoving his hands deep into his sweatpants pockets. "Sure, dude, whatever. Just know that I'll never believe you're truly a man if you don't go to once nightclub in your life."

Two things were going through her head, one being that he didn't really think she was male (and god, she knew that was a problem), or that he had just suggested that her act wasn't good enough. Either one wasn't good for her, on her part and she needed to figure out a way to sell her deal once and for all that she was, in fact, a male and that he needed to hop off her (hypothetical) dick about it.

And when he saw her eyebrows raise for a split second, he knew that he had sold it to her. "Fine," she spat venomously in his direction. "I'll go to the nightclub with you."

"Thanks dude!" Lucas said happily, slapping the back of her back and she winced in pain with a groan. "See you around school, buddy. I'll text you the details, just make sure you're at our dorm before I end my stretches so we can go get ready."

"Um!" she yelped, reaching her hand out in front of her uselessly as Lucas already went out the door. "You don't even have my number!"

God, whatever. She knew she had dug herself into a shithole this time, and it was all because of her damned pride. She would need to figure out a way to ensure the idea in Lucas' mind, she was a boy.

She also had to call her best friend and start yelling at her, but that would have to wait for another time or she would be late to her first period. She still had no fucking idea how to navigate the damned school, and she was already certain she was going to be at least fifteen minutes late.

right anyway , i am now known on tumblr for the girl who posted the i hate rucas video lol. also i didnt bother to grammar check this im sorry im so lazy

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