Home Is Where The Girl Is
Chapter 3 – Rough Housing
Madame Vastra and Jenny Flint continued their rigorous training that would bleed into the late hours of the night; when not out tracking down criminals. They began to enjoy each other's company so much that they actually turned down a less dangerous case or two in pursuit of their newest hobby; trying to kill each other. If the two swinging combatants were not eating or sleeping in too late, they were moving about the house like Mongols chasing after one another; often with a pause for a brief instruction.
From the early morning to late evening, the sparring partners tore up the furniture, busted out the lamps and shattered more plates that Red wanted to recall. Anything and everything that could be used as a weapon or distraction while the other got away was far game. The real maid often referred to them as the stampeding elephants. Had she not been to terrified of being deported, she would have raised more of a stink over the idea that the two women acted anything, but like the women of London in late 1880's.
Early one evening, a police officer knocked on the door of 13 Paternoster Row. He and his partner seemed to have urgent business, none of which they wanted to deliver. Cadwell, the butler, was the first to answer the door. He immediately summoned the lady of the house, who was quickly donning her cloaked veil in the next room. When she was ready, the affluent woman and her chamber maid huddled in the door frame. Breathing heavily, from the excitement, Jenny had forgotten about her wooden sword, still in hand, and hid it behind her back.
"Good evening Madame Vastra." The taller of the two men said. Fiddling with a piece of paper in his hands, he spoke with a shutter. "We didn't come soon ma'am because of you being a great detective and all for Scotland Yard but we…" Again the man stammered, this time pulling at his thickly starched collar.
Watching his face grow even more paler than her sparring partner, the woman offered a little reprieve, "Please continue constable." Her accent was perfect Victorian Scottish which only made the men sent by the metropolitan police more anxious. "Thank you Madame Vastra. Well ma'am we have received numerous complaints about the noise…"
The lady of the house was quick to cut the man short with a stern tone, "What sort of noise?" At this point, the veiled reptilian woman and former match maker's faces diffused into more serious personas.
As if her reputation had not already begun to spread, the brown haired constable gulped hard before continuing. "We have received numerous accounts by the neighbors and some passerbys about the noise."
It was the cockney girl's turn to repeat the confusing statement, "Say here, wot sort er noise 're ya talkin' abaht?"
Feeling brave, the second man took a turn to speak as he attempted to explain. "People are saying…"
"Wot people?" Jenny blasted before her mistress gently placed an arm in front of her, silencing her.
With only a visual warning to her pupil, the lady of the house pleasantly conveyed, "Go on."
Directing his statement towards the out spoken maid, the second man spoke more confidently then before. "Fine people miss. Folks around here are afraid people are getting murdered in here." His voice trailed off as he looked at the finely dressed veiled woman.
From behind the residents of the estate, the real maid unexpectedly shouted, "I knew someone would eventually come about that." With the rolling of her piercing blue eyes, the matriarch of the establishment made a mental note to fire the maid as soon as the gentlemen left. Observing the constables again, the skilled hunter heard the shorter man swallow hard as he nervously glanced back at his partner holding the paper. The piece of parchment, which Vastra educatedly thought had notes of what to say, looked like mulch by now.
Receiving absolutely no visual help from his senior officer, the short man continued, "And by what we heard just a few minutes ago, ma'am I beg your pardon, but we have to agree." He haphazardly tried to sneak a peek behind the women crowding the entry way.
There were a few more pleasantries before the curvaceous reptilian dismissed the constables, flatly stating that she would look into the matter. Leaning heavily on the back of the closed door, the young pupil chewed on her bottom lip waiting for her mentor to think of something clever. "We only stay up to maximize our training efforts" started the ancient warrior; radically justifying their means.
Kicking an imaginary stone, the dark hair beauty huffed, "We practically 'ave ter wai' fer da night so yew don't 'ave ter wear what constrictin' aaaht fit."
"Veil" her mistress was quick to add. "It is called a veil."
"Yeah that's what I meant" Jenny deflected as the idea of upsetting her mistress meant she might become the prestigious Victorian's snack, or worse next meal.
Before the two allowed the warning to ruin their evening, the two flopped down on the couch and surveyed the room around them. "I supposed we did make a bit of a racket."
Looking at the disaster area around them, Jenny quipped, "Well we did break a fing awer two."
Both women looked into each other's eyes as the ridiculous statement that leapt from the human's mouth. The skilled hunter was the first to get a word out before an outburst of laughter filled the formal sitting room. "This place is a disaster."
The two shared a good laugh but as dinner arrived and went, the rest of the evening became extremely somber.
It was not until almost bedtime that the human and her mistress who were sitting out in the sun room, starring up at the stars, that anyone said a word. Deep in thought and hopefully preventing herself from getting depressed about the whole idea, the dark haired beauty came up with a clever plan.
"Miss."
Sipping her near nightly glass of human blood, Madame Vastra responded, "Yes." The slur in her word insinuated that she was thoroughly enjoying the unique beverage.
"I was fnkin' Ma'am. I know I still 'ave much ter learn abaaaht da art ov combat." The ancient warrior so loved it when the ape referred to fighting as an art form. It was a secret gluttony of hers. "I don't want to stop my training with yew Ma'am." The plea in the woman's heart caused the previously occupied Silurian to put down her goblet and focus on her pupil.
"I agree Jenny but I don't know what we should do." Releasing a deep sigh of her own, the green scaled woman muttered, "I thought about contacting the doctor but…"
"I have an idea miss."
The bold statement caught the reptilian off guard. With great curiosity she asked, "What do you suggest?"
"The 'ouse is not a suitable place for this training." The woman quickly jumped to her feet and stammered as to not offend her employer and friend. "I mean yaaahr 'ouse is a lovely 'ouse ma'am. It's just not da fightin' kind. If yew know what I mean."
Beaming, the older woman dropped her eyes. "I know what you are saying my dear." The warrior stood and paced the brick wall until she felt the blood rush away from her face. "Go on with this brilliant idea of yours Jenny."
"I suggest we should go somewhere where we can… better train."
Slumped against the doorframe, leading out into the garden, believing that her training fun was about to come to an end, Vastra alluringly chewed on the corner of her recently removed glove. "Where do you suggest?" After previously putting some thought into it, the well educated mistress added, "Perhaps down by the factory plants, but it is so dirty down there." The green scaled, yet sophisticated reptilian delicately caressed the back of her bare hand. "The soot really clogs my pores."
Lifting off the frame, the fearless investigator continued not waiting for Jenny's reply. Flapping the glove in her hand as she pondered, "Perhaps we could go down by the docks?!" Spinning on the back of her heel until she faced her servant, the lady of the house finally decided to wait for a response for witty idea.
Believing it cute that Madame Vastra was full of herself, the young maiden countered. "I was fnkin' in da coun'ry somewhere." Sitting half in and half out of a large wicker chair, the dark haired beauty continued, "Maybe there is a cottage we can stay. That way we don't 'ave ter wai' fer da shadows ov da night ter quietly train." As her teacher stared directly at her, Jenny was unsure of how her mistress felt about the suggestion, as she watched the smooth lines of the reptilian's expression go flat, then her head tilted completely sideways.
Taking painfully too long, a bright smile slowly drifted across the ancient warrior's face; one the human had only seen before when Vastra had spotted her enemy target. It reminded the maiden of a cat's cheshire grin – right before it eats the bird. With lightning fast reflexes, the skilled fighter moved. "Why didn't I think of that?" Spinning around, with her back turned, Vastra quickly looked back over her shoulder at the young maiden. "You are a clever girl Jenny. I am so glad I kept you around."
A/N: All of Jenny's dialog was translated used a cockney translator from the web. So if something is off or wrong, because I an American and clearly don't speak it, blame the website not me. Or send me a PM (Personal Message) on how to correct it. So sorry if they are awful.
A/N2: I chose the name Cadwell, as he was actually a butler in London during the 1880's.
A/N3: Thank you for those who contributed about Vastra's Scottish accent; not being a British one.