Author's Notes: I keep coming back to write this. I keep marking this story complete but still, words float in my head and my dreams. Each chapter can stand alone of course, but somehow these vignettes can also make a story.
Further more, as a warning, there is no capitalization for a reason. I'm writing in a prose format and trying to capture the rawness of it, and in emotional thinking, no one thinks about proper syntax. It might bother some of you but know I did it for a styling reason.
One more warning: Rated M for a reason. Very sensual.
she's giddy as she bounds the steps to his apartment, refraining from bouncing on her feet whilst waiting for him to open the door. she only smiles at him when they greet each other.
he immediately takes her to bed. but they curl into each other, her back to his chest. and she feels his heart beating softly against the muscles of her shoulders and she goes boneless in his hold. their temples press against each other and he holds her hand and she can't help but wonder when did their intimacy get so intimate? their clothes are still on and the heat that she has built up in herself with the fantasies he might bring are dashed away and settled because this feels so much better. everything about this is warm and she has to sit up to strip the sweater she has worn to keep herself warm in the fall weather.
he's pressing kisses to her neck and the top of her shoulders. his hands are gliding across the blouse she's wearing. and she is basking in the warmth and the feelings of it. giggling when he presses a teasing light kiss to her neck. and all she feels is warm and there isn't a fire clawing at her that needs to be sated by his body on hers.
each turn of her head to look at him is met with a kiss. light pecks that end with smiles. they avoid looking each other in the eyes though. and then they go down the familiar path.
clothes are falling away and there is no shyness. she wants him everywhere and there isn't enough of him. she wants their lips to lock and never part. she wants his teeth, tongue, lips to flow down her body. she wants his hands holding her. she wants his hands to stroke the hollows and curves of her body. she's starving and there can't be enough laid out for her. and she's taking and taking because he's giving and she has grown used to being selfish with him. there are no words to what she wants because he's giving it all and more.
she's an earthquake and there is resistance from the release of the pressure, like a building holding holding before cracking. and they're spinning and it's like zero gravity. and as she's shuddering and holding onto her control, she whispers the secret that is blaring at the forefront of her mind. "I missed this."
And she loses herself in a torrent of sensation when he surprises her by whispering in her ear, "I missed this too." And there's the cocoon of warmth that blooms from within and extends to being in his arms.
so surprised that there's pain when he slips his fingers into her. and she flinches and she can't quite remember if he's ever hurt her before. she's shocked and shying away. he's chasing after her with kisses and soothing touches and she relaxes. and then he's trailing down her body and she closes her eyes. and then his fingers and lips are there in such a combo that she almost sits up in surprise. but then she is lost and there's a tsunami and oh god he hasn't done this in so long.
she wants to beg. she needs it, craves it, wants it, please oh please. and before she has gathered the courage to start to beg, he gives it to her. and she's convulsing and her voice isn't hers because the sounds she's making is out of her control. and oh oh oh, how does he know? she's baffled by their connection and the very foundations of their chemistry.
"We'll go slow." He promises her and that flower of warmth has blossomed further, it's vines extending into the temples of her brain, searing a heated path of memory.
and it feels like making love, even if there's no feelings involved. they're just using each other, at least that's what they tell each other and others when asked. and he's going slow and it's agonizing and so fulfilling. and she's biting her lip because she wants to scream or cry and she just holds on to his shoulders and feels. and when she's crashed over and over against him, he gathers her in his arms and whispers to turn around.
so lost in the torrent, she does so wordlessly. she needs more. then she is clutching the sheets and she's trying not to scream but fuck it feels like flying. and he stills himself when she's losing herself, her anchor to come back to. they're breathless when she's come back to her senses but she wonders if he is traveling through voyeurism. and then she settles on top of him and watches as he slowly unravels more. he's close, she can tell by the way he looks like he's in pain and the way he's holding her. half holding her back and half encouraging her.
tilted again, she feels the way he takes himself to completion with her. and in her last explosion, he explodes with her. then his arms gives out and he presses mindless kisses to her collarbone and the pants against her skin warms up further. she smiles and strokes his back, soothing the deep marks she has left.
he gathers her and settles her upright, slipping behind her and they curl against each other again. sleepily, she watches him turn the movie on again and they hold hands with their temples pressed against each other. and he points out that she's strange because when she is scared, she laughs.