A\N: Hey guys, I'm sorry that this chapter took longer than usual but for some reason, it gave me such a hard time. Burt AKA World's Greatest Dad makes an appearance in this chapter. Also, I'm assuming that Sam is still staying at with the Hudmel because no one has said otherwise. Hope you guys like this chapter and I would love to hear what you think.
"Love is like the truth; sometimes it prevails, sometimes it hurts"
Victor M. Garcia Jr
Kurt grunted softly as he threw himself on his bed. The last week had been gruesome, with him scrambling to organize his schedule so that he could go to Lima for the wedding. It was very hectic; he was putting in extra work in Vogue so that he could free his weekend and was also trying not to fall behind on his NYADA classes at the same time. But even with the extra effort, he had barely made it. The only way for him to attend was to leave Friday night and return early Sunday. He went through his morning classes then rushed to Vogue where he stayed more than he had anticipated; leaving him with barely enough time to pick up his bags and go to the airport.
He had arrived home late, only to be immediately swept in the familiar warm atmosphere that always graced the Hummel-Hudson household. He was thrilled to see his father, Finn and Carole, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. He did his best to ignore the voice in his head that told him that what was missing was a certain curly haired, bright eyed senior with a smile that could light the room.
Kurt shook his head violently in an attempt to push thoughts of Blaine aside. He was tired and stressed and just wanted to sleep. He dragged himself into the shower, willing the hot spray to calm him down. He groaned in frustration when it didn't help. Now that he was back home, he was plagued with memories of Blaine. He might have taken down all of Blaine's pictures the last time he was in Lima, but every single moment shared between the two of them in this room was coming back to him. The onslaught of emotion nearly brought him to his knees. Tears prickled his eyes as flashbacks of warm touches and soft promises swam in front of his eyes. His heart yearned for his other half but his head was doubtful, and he was tired, so very tired of being in a constant battle with himself.
He suddenly noticed that the water had turned cold and that he was shivering. He stumbled out only to nearly choke on his tears when he stepped back into his room. In his attempt to find a shirt, he had pulled out the drawer where he kept the promise ring Blaine had given him at Christmas. He slid down to the floor cradling it to his chest as tears started to fall. His feelings felt just as raw as they did that night in Battery Park and he couldn't understand why. He shouldn't be hurting that much, he shouldn't be reliving that pain as if it happened yesterday, and he sure as hell shouldn't be craving Blaine's presence that bad.
Kurt just couldn't stay in his room any longer. He recoiled from the ring like it burned him. He could almost feel the ghost of Blaine's touch, hear the echo of his promises, and it was suffocating. He couldn't think or breath anymore, he just wanted out. He threw a shirt over his head quickly then raced from the room. He only stopped when he reached the staircase, taking several shaky breaths. He sagged and sat down on the top stair. He buried his head in his hands in misery, trying to get his bearings. He was so lost in thought that he didn't feel his father behind him until he put his hand on his shoulder.
Burt took one look at his son's teary eyes and pained expression, and gently steered him down the stairs. He settled him on the couch then busied himself preparing cocoa for them both. He wanted to give Kurt time to calm down first before he attempted to talk to him. He was worried sick but he had to wait. Kurt was over strung and Burt really didn't want him pulling away or clamming up like he usually did. He smiled at the feeling of nostalgia that hit him. Kurt's mother had always prepared cocoa for young Kurt when he was upset, and Burt thought the subtle reminder of comfort and familiarity might put his son at ease. And judging by the weak smile that Kurt offered him when he handed him his mug, he was successful.
Both father and son drank in comfortable silence. Burt kept an eye on Kurt, waiting for him to relax enough to talk. Kurt scooted closer and rested his head on his father's shoulder, and Burt pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of his head. He frowned when Kurt tried to snuggle closer as if trying to bury himself in his father's embrace. That was something that young Kurt had done a thousand times, so to have his grown son seek comfort from him the same way he did as a small child meant that something was very wrong. Kurt had always been very strong and independent. Sure, he had always been honest with Burt and often sought his advice, but Burt knew that he had always tried to solve things on his own first. He only went to Burt when he couldn't take it anymore, or when things got out of control. Seeing him curled up in his father embrace with his face buried in the older man's neck broke Burt's heart.
Burt carded his hand slowly through his son's hair. A move, which would have normally earned him an indignant "Dad" and a huff, didn't even raise a single protest from his distraught son.
"What's brothering you, bud?" Burt enquired gently, pulling Kurt even closer.
The shuddering breath that met his question nearly brought tears to his eyes. Kurt was obviously in pain and he couldn't bear it. He waited patiently for Kurt to answer, his worry increasing as the minutes passed.
After what felt like hours, Kurt finally pulled away and turned to face his father. His feelings were burning in their intensity and his thoughts were all over the place. He desperately needed his father to ground him. But in order to do that, Burt needed to know all the details. He knew how excruciating it would be for him to talk about everything that had happened, but he needed to do it. He poured his heart out to his father. He told him about his conflicting feelings towards Blaine and how they were preventing him from starting a new relationship. He tried his best to skim over the fiasco with Adam, he doubted that the older man would want to know the details anyway, but he could tell from the disapproving look that Burt shot him that his father had guessed what happened. He explained that he was worried about meeting Blaine the next day at the wedding, when he still couldn't figure out what he wanted to do. He slumped against the couch when he finished; already feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
Burt took a few minute to absorb everything Kurt had told him. He had seen the way Kurt and Blaine interacted at Christmas and he knew that they still had feelings for each other, which was the reason he was skeptical about Kurt dating Adam. He didn't think that Kurt's relationship with Adam held any weight. Whenever Kurt talked about Adam, Burt always got the feeling that Kurt was more excited about his new found confidence when it came to dating than he was about actually dating the NYADA senior.
He had feared that Kurt was rushing into this new relationship head first so that he could forget Blaine, and it seemed that he was right.
Burt guessed that Kurt had probably slept with Adam by the way he tried to gloss over his break up with Adam and his extremely guilty and uncomfortable expression. And how wrong was it to think of his baby boy and sex in the same sentence? Burt wasn't a fool; he knew that Kurt and Blaine had been intimate but he knew for a fact that it wasn't something that either of them took lightly. He was sure that it had been a mutual decision born out of love, which was exactly what he had asked of Kurt. Burt couldn't help but be disappointed in Kurt for being with someone when it didn't hold any meaning. But it looked like Kurt was already beating himself up over it so Burt decided to let it go.
And then there was Blaine. Burt had been furious with the boy for breaking his son's heart. Kurt had called him one night sobbing his heart out, and Burt had trouble believing that the same boy who was making heart eyes at his son and gazing at him like he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen just a few short months ago, had actually cheated on the person he proclaimed to be "the love of his life".
But as the months passed, his anger started to fade. Burt had witnessed for himself how utterly broken Blaine was. He had arrived at Mckinley just in time to watch Blaine's performance in Grease. To the untrained eye, Blaine looked as charming and collected as ever, but a year of having the boy constantly at his house allowed Burt to see that Blaine was anything but fine. For the first time ever, Burt saw Blaine break character during a performance. His breath hitched and his eyes shined with tears when he looked to where Burt guessed Kurt was sitting. He was torn in that moment between being angry with the boy and feeling sorry for him. He had caught a glimpse of the very brief conversation that occurred between Kurt and Blaine, and was pretty sure that Kurt had given the other boy a piece of his mind. The broken expression on Blaine's face as Kurt left him behind tugged at Burt's heartstrings. He might be very angry and disappointed in the boy, but that didn't change the fact that he cared deeply for him. Burt would always be in Kurt's corner, but that didn't mean he would just stop caring about Blaine.
With Finn and Sam being in constant touch with Blaine, the latter even becoming his best friend, Burt had gotten a front row seat to the damage Blaine had inflicted upon himself. Both boys had mentioned Blaine's downward spiral and how he was willing to return to Dalton just to escape the memory of Kurt. Sam had confided in him that he thought that Blaine was only trying to punish himself further and Burt agreed. It was the only reason Burt could think of. Blaine's excuse of escaping the memories was a load of crap in Burt's opinion. Dalton held the memory of the boys' first meeting and first kiss; they had become a couple in this school. So if Blaine's plan was to return to Dalton to get away from reminders of his relationship with Kurt, then it wasn't a very good plan.
Burt knew that Kurt wouldn't forgive and forget easily and he couldn't blame him. He did his best to stay out of the situation, not wanting to push Kurt. He only dropped hints to him that maybe it was time for him to forgive Blaine. God knew that there was nothing any of them could do to Blaine worse than what the boy was already doing to himself. Burt took a risk in bringing Blaine with him to New York and he hoped that his risk would pay off. The way the boys clutched at each other when it was time to go assured him that he did the right thing.
However, the next few weeks brought new surprises. Burt was glad that the boys were taking steps in the right direction, slowly building their relationship again. But he was blindsided by Kurt's phone call about Adam. He grew more worried when nothing seemed amiss with Blaine. The senior had taken to visiting the Hummel-Hudson household at least twice a week under the pretense of doing homework with Sam, except that both boys always ended up spending their time with Burt instead of getting anything done. He had his doubts that Kurt had asked Blaine to look after him and while he was exasperated, his heart swelled with love for both boys. He had assumed that Kurt would tell Blaine about Adam, and when Blaine looked fine, he suspected that Kurt didn't tell him. Burt knew that Blaine was still in love with Kurt and he had no doubt that the boy would be devastated when he found out.
Now it looked like the boys had worked their way into a big hot mess. He had seen Blaine two days ago and he looked just as bad as Kurt. Kurt, who had drawn his knees up to his chest by this point, currently reminded Burt so much of the six year old who curled himself into a ball sobbing because some kid at the playground told him that he was a girl for hosting tea parties.
Burt reached for his son's hand, encasing it with his own. He smiled reassuringly at him, knowing that it would be very hard to guide Kurt through this without pressuring him into something he might not be ready for. "Are you still in love with Blaine?"
Kurt shook his head slowly and heaved a sigh. "It was never about falling out of love with him, Dad. It was just a question about whether I forgave him or not."
"And did you?" Burt prodded gently.
Tears welled up in Kurt's eyes. "I don't know," He answered truthfully. "All I know is that I think about him all the time. Being with someone else just feels….wrong. I didn't tell him about Adam because I didn't want to hurt him and I freaked out when he found out by accident. When I see something interesting, my first instinct is to tell him about it. God, even after I met Adam, he once complimented me on a dance move and the first thing out of my mouth was something about my ex being more of the dancer in our relationship," Kurt chuckled humorlessly while Burt shook his head fondly. His boy was still deeply in love with Blaine and either he couldn't see it, or he was just denying the fact out of fear of getting hurt again.
"Looks to me like you're still very much in love with him, kiddo. You're just refusing to give into your feelings"
Kurt's chin trembled dangerously and he wrapped his arms around himself. He knew that his father was right and he couldn't deny it any longer, but he was plagued with doubt.
"How can I trust him, Dad?" Kurt sobbed. "How can I trust that he won't fall off the wagon again when I return to New York? God, how can I even be with him knowing that I am not his one and only anymore? That someone else held him and kissed him and….."
"Kurt," Burt interrupted Kurt's rambling before he could get himself worked up. "I'm not saying that you should trust him immediately. He betrayed your trust and he needs to earn it back. But he can't do that if you don't give him the chance. He made a terrible mistake but he has been trying to atone for it ever since. You need to decide if you're willing to give him that second chance, if your love for him is enough to earn him that"
Kurt seemed to be mulling things over and Burt braced himself for what he was about to say. "And Kurt," He waited till Kurt met his eyes to continue. "If you decide that he deserves another chance, then you not being his one and only won't matter. I understand that you being each other's only meant a lot but it's not something worth pushing him away over. After all, he's no longer your only either"
Kurt flushed and opened his mouth to protest but Burt beat him to it. "I'm not saying that it's the same and I'm not condemning you for it. I don't like it but you're an adult and that was your mistake to make. But if you decide to take him back, you've got to tell him. You need to put everything in the open and be honest with each other, no matter how much it hurts."
Kurt appeared to be deep in thought so Burt decided to leave him to think things over. He stood up, reaching over to wrap Kurt into his arms, and smiled when Kurt clutched back at him just as tightly. He pulled back, cradling his son's face in his hand and whispered. "If you love him, then fight for him. Even if the person you have to fight is him. It won't be easy but that's okay. Love is worth it, Blaine is worth it"
Kurt offered his dad a watery smile before returning to his room. He walked slowly to where he had dropped the promise ring and smiled sadly at the most precious gift Blaine had ever given him. He took a deep breath before opening his closet to retrieve the box where he had packed everything Blaine-related. He sat there for a long time just going through all the small reminders of his relationship with Blaine. Every picture, every small token reminded him of how happy they were. Tears were rolling freely down his cheeks but for the first time in months, he felt at peace. He had finally reached a decision. His father was right; he needed to give Blaine a chance to earn his forgiveness and trust. Because even though Blaine had hurt him badly, Kurt knew that the agony he had suffered through was a testament of how much he loved Blaine. It might take some time but Kurt believed that he would come to trust Blaine fully again. Blaine had made a huge mistake but it didn't define him. Because Kurt knew Blaine and the boy he knew wasn't a cheater.
Kurt stood up, picking a pile of pictures from the box. The picture on top was of his junior prom when Blaine had stepped up to dance with him after he was elected prom queen. It was one of Kurt's favorites; Blaine had turned what could have been one of the worst nights in Kurt's life into a bearable and almost enjoyable night. Kurt remembered how his heart had swelled with love for the younger boy as he conquered his fears in order to support Kurt. He traced Blaine's face in the photo, smiling softly. That was the real Blaine, the boy who had loved Kurt enough to dance with him in a gym filled with homophobic idiots who were trying to humiliate and break Kurt, the boy Kurt knew and loved, and he deserved to have a shot at forgiveness.
Kurt set the pictures on his nightstand. Now that he had made up his mind about Blaine, he was excited to see him tomorrow at the wedding. He hummed under his breath as he pulled his tuxedo out of the closet. He was searching for a tie when something caught his eye. He grinned at the black silk bowtie that was tucked in the corner. Blaine had gotten him that bowtie for his birthday and Kurt had teased him, saying that they needed to find a twelve step program to wean Blaine off his bowtie addiction. He ran his fingers over the soft fabric before glancing back at the tuxedo lying on his bed. He laid the bow tie on his dress shirt and nodded.
Perfect.
