Chapter Three

After a quick stop to the pharmacy for some ice packs and elastic bandages (it's amazing how fast she went through those things these days. She even got a membership to one of those buy in bulk price clubs so she could stock up on OTC pain relievers and first aid supplies) and a trip to her favorite food allergy aware Chinese take-away, she headed home, shucked off her corporate uniform, and snuggled down into her finest fuzzy PJs and pan fried noodles. She reached over to the blinking light on her landline and slapped it to play her messages while she decided what to watch on her DVR.

/FIRST MESSAGE/ the slightly feminine automated voice of her answering machine called out. "Hello. This is an automated message reminding you FELICITY SMOAK to vote on Tuesday for—"

"Delete," she muttered. Yeah, civic duty or not, she lost her taste for politics after the whole Blood Army thing a couple of years ago. She filled out an absentee ballot for Walter a few weeks ago but there was no way in hell she was going to the polls.

"Hey Baby, its Daddy. I'm stuck in a dinner meeting that's running late so I missed your message. I tried calling you but, well. Anyway, yes I am planning on coming down on Friday and I know you don't want to make a big deal about the whole, 'My dad is the 'Businessman's Businessman' thing," she snorted even though it was kind of true. Lucius Fox had an almost legendary reputation in the tech community both as an innovator and as a financial wizard. He hated it when she went back to using the last name 'Smoak' but understood why. Felicity had learned a long time ago that people who were desperate to get the attention of Lucius Fox would try to use her connection to him for their own gain and she wanted to succeed on her own. He didn't like it, or the hours she worked, not to mention the infrequent visits home, but he understood and respected her for it, "but I thought you could meet me at the hotel for brunch on Saturday before I left back out." He sighed, "You know, I'm so proud of you Baby, but I hate that we never get to see each other these days. I know that Queen boy has a mess on his hands but I miss my little girl. Oh, and your brother said to send him another care package, only next time, and I quote, 'send more junk food and less healthy crap' because they apparently don't have enough of that sort of thing in the Congo. Don't worry about him though. According to Tam he sent the same message to her so she sent him bulk packages of wheat germ and something called 'Frookies'. I asked her what the devil a 'Frookie' was and she said it's some kind of fruit juice sweetened tofu cookie." She could practically hear him shudder at the thought. "I told her when I get ready for the nursing home that you're in charge of menu planning. Oops, they're waving me back in. Love you, Baby. See you Friday."

"Love you too, Daddy," she said as she deleted his message. She really had to speak to Oliver soon about cashing in a few vacation days. Between QC and Team Arrow the only down time she ever seemed to get is the occasional sleep-in after a concussion.

Not that she would or could ever explain that to her dad.

"Hello Former Brentwood Prep Graduate! This is Barbara Gordon, Prom Queen and Editor of the Gotham Watchtower calling to remind you of our Class Reunion on-."

"Whoa!" Felicity hit delete, shut off the TV, and grabbed her tablet and headset before patching a secure call into Watchtower. As soon as it connected she looked into the eyes of Barbara Gordon and practically shouted, "What the hell, Barbara?!"

"Oh, so you got my message?" The redhead smirked at her through the monitor.

"What's going on?" Felicity asked, perturbed. Not that she didn't love hearing from Barbara but hearing her use their emergency code through her answering machine had put her into a bit of a tailspin. "Is it bad? What's happening?"

"It's bad, but not Joker-bad so relax." Barbara paused, "Well, on second thought, it might be worse than that actually. Although Joker is dead so…ooh, Zombie Joker? Yeah, that would be a whole other level of suck…"

"Is everyone okay?" She said 'everyone' even though Barbara gave her that look that said she knew exactly who Felicity was referring to. She flushed and tried to deflect even though she knew it was futile. Barbara knew her too well. "How's Dick?"

"Being, well, a 'dick'," Barbara sighed.

Felicity winced, "Yeah, I heard he left Bludhaven to Tim and went off on his own a while back but Tim said he'd come back a few times since then. I wasn't sure you two had officially broken up."

"Oh, we didn't," Barbara said with a tight smile. "No, he was very clear on the fact that he was 'breaking up' with Bruce but that he still loved me before pointing out that I was 'vital to the mission' so he couldn't ask me to go with him. He told me we just needed a 'little break' until he got his bearings."

"And did he?"

"Oh yeah," she said, "And—surprise!—the super-Chickie handling his 'bearings' is another redhead. Her name's 'Kori' but her codename is 'Starfire', cute huh? Bitch sounds like a fucking character out of 'My Pretty Pony'. Oh, and get this, she's an alien princess with golden skin who's like a foot taller than he is and her hair is literally made of fire."

"Huh," Felicity pursed her lips, "doesn't that make, well, stuff difficult? Like showering and other…stuff?"

"Nope! From what I can tell he's stuffing her just fine!" She snarked, "Besides, her hair only does that when she's flying. Did I mention that yet? She can fly too. She's just so flippin' nifty that way, apparently." She snorted, before her voice grew contemplative, "I wonder if all of her hair does that or just the bit on her head? Eh, what do I care if he gets his weenie roasted? I'm done."

"Ouch," she said with a sympathetic wince. She loved Dick but… "Yeah, he's…yeah, 'dick' pretty much covers it." Felicity agreed as she tried to get a mental picture only to fail miserably. "I'm sorry I've been out of touch the last several months. It's just been…it's been crazy."

"It's alright, Chickie," she told her. "Tim told me you guys hardly even have time to talk these days because your schedule is all over the map so I get it. Still miss you though."

"I miss you, too," she said softly. "Believe me, there've been days when I would have loved to have a friendly bitch and wine cooler session via Skype but life has been…" she sighed. "Anyway, what is it with Dick and tall redheads anyway?"

"Fuck if I know," Barbara said, obviously perturbed. "I spent years with that little weasel pairing evening gowns with flats just so he wouldn't get a complex and he leaves me for an alien amazon in stilettos just when I happen to drop three feet of height."

"You don't really think he left you because of the wheelchair, do you?" Felicity asked tentatively. She'd known Barbara and Dick both before and after the accident that left her in a wheelchair paralyzed from the waist down and, from what she could see, he seemed to be just as affectionate and loving as ever. Of course, in the world that they occupied, relationships could change quickly. She knew that better than most.

"No," she sighed, "I know he left because of Bruce. I mean, everyone eventually leaves because of Bruce," Felicity flinched at that, "but it still irks me. I mean, she's like, seven feet tall! Seriously! It must be what a Chihuahua looks like when he's trying to mount a Great Dane!"

Unable to stop herself Felicity began to laugh so hard fat tears began to roll down her cheeks. Soon both women were laughing so hard that Felicity had to grab some napkins off the coffee table and blow her nose before she humiliated herself by blowing a snot bubble. "Oh my God! Oh that hurts! Ow!" She clutched her stomach and Barbara caught a glimpse of her bandage.

"Girl, what happened to your hand?"

"This?" She asked, holding it up to the tablet. "Punched my, well, technically I guess she's my boss, in the face."

"Oh," Barbara's eyebrows shot up to her hairline. "Fuck me. You looking for another job, yet?"

"Nope, blackmailed her. She even asked me to lunch afterwards."

"Okay, you now have my unending respect," she chuckled. "Felicity Smoak, Bad-ass."

"Well, you're still pretty bad-ass too if you ask me."

"Damn straight!" Barbara agreed, "I might not be ten feet tall and fly but I can still rock a Ms. Clairol Dark Auburn dye job like nobody else and I got mad hacker skills! By the way, still loving the hair, Baby-Girl. Did you go darker with the lowlights since I saw you last or is that my monitor acting up?"

"What, this? Yeah, how's it look?" Felicity mugged for the camera. "Only my hairdresser knows for sure!"

"I like it! The contrast really makes your eyes pop," Barbara told her. "I mean, I always dug your original color, but I can understand why you got tired of people making comments. Still, aren't you living in the Land of all that is Blonde and Fake anyway? You'd think that if you could get away with it anywhere it'd be on the West Coast."

"Surprisingly enough, no," she told her. "Every time I tried to tell someone it wasn't fake they'd shoot me a look and offer me friendly little tidbits about how 'less is more'. I swear to God, if I got that, 'don't try to sell it so hard, darling' speech from one more suicide blonde whose roots were showing…" she said rolling her eyes. "So, yeah, platinum blonde doesn't fly well in Corporate America so I dirtied it up a little and then I dirtied it a little more."

"Hey, do you think I could pull off blonde?" She asked with an amused smirk. "Maybe we should switch looks since you're punching bitches out and feeling your inner redhead and I know I could definitely use more fun."

"That's a thought," Felicity told her. "Eh, who knows? Maybe I will. Seriously though, if you're thinking about trading in Rita Hayworth for Marilyn Monroe, he did it with this avocado oil based dye in shades of 'Honeyed Happiness' and 'Golden Glory' then put me on this shampoo called Bumble and Bumble to tame the frizzies and maintain the color. You should check it out."

"Looks nice!" Her eyes glinted merrily as she stuck a naughty tongue between her teeth. "So what else have you been 'dirtying up' since joining the ranks of the Corporate Clones? That Ollie Queen is H-A-W-T!"

"And moving on!" She flushed, refusing to answer her. "You know, Barbara, not that I don't love hearing from you, but why the coded message on my landline? You could have just called me on my cell if you wanted to talk."

"Yeah, about that…" She cleared her throat and bit her bottom lip nervously, "It's about Watchtower."

"Is there a glitch in the system?" Felicity frowned.

"Noooo," she said, drawing it out. "Everything's working just fine on our end."

Felicity breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh good!"

"A little too well in fact."

"Pardon?"

"While Bruce was out on patrol the other night a friend of yours pinged our system."

"What?" Felicity asked, her heart suddenly skipping a beat.

"Calls herself The Huntress. And, as if it needs to be said, Bruce was not amused."

"Is he ever?" Felicity tried to joke but it came out as a trembling stutter instead. This was bad—the so very not good kind of bad.

"Compared to his usual grim and stoic demeanor, he was especially unamused…particularly when your name came up."

She shut her eyes and hung her head in defeat. "Fuck." It figures that Helena would be either stupid or crazy enough to not only wander into the Bat's territory but throw her name into the mix as well. She just hoped Oliver hadn't been exposed. Next time Helena came for a visit she swore she'd arrow that crazy bitch personally. "Fuckity-fuck-fuckadoodledoo."

"And that's not even the best part: Guess who's coming to town to pay you a little visit?"

Felicity swallowed, "Oh no."

"Oh yes," Barbara confirmed. "Just before he let Psycho-Bitch go she let him in on the fact that you're working for another vigilante in Starling City and he got all Cave-Man about it. You know how he hates to share."

"Wait? He let her go?!" Felicity nearly shouted, outraged, choosing to put aside Bruce's travel plans for the moment. "She insane! And a murderer! She's practically the Joker with tits and a girl-on for mobsters! He should have taken her down or shipped to Arkham or something!"

"Well, Bruce isn't exactly a fan of the Mob and since she knew who you were he let her go with a beat down, a separated shoulder, and a severe warning to leave his city and keep away from you or she'd have more than just some Robin Hood wannabe chasing after her. He even did the whole grumpy Bat-face growly thing. Afterwards he ordered Alfred to load up the jet so he could come give you a talking to but the good Mr. Pennyworth managed to talk him down."

Felicity hung her head and shut her eyes as a bit of panic began to set in. "He's coming down here with Dad on Friday, isn't he?"

"Yup. And I have orders not to say anything to you so this is me not saying anything."

"Great. If he's coming here then who is watching Gotham?"

"He tapped Red Robin to step up for the time being."

"Tim?" She said, thinking of her sister's more on than off boyfriend. "I thought he and Bruce were currently on the outs."

"Yeah, so that alone should tell you how pissed he is. In fact, the only good news is that he hasn't said anything to your dad."

She snorted, "Obviously! Dad might pretend not to suspect Bruce of being the Bat but he definitely wouldn't be as happy to pretend not to notice anything if he thought I was ever a part of his whole crusade."

"Technically your dad was the one to introduce the two of you and suggest Bruce use you as a consultant when we were developing Watchtower. I mean, he had to know that was Bat related."

"I think Dad expected me to actually 'consult', not spend my days in the Batcave installing hardware and upgrading the systems while he was at the office."

"Well, at the time the Batcave wasn't exactly handicap accessible so I couldn't do it, Dick can barely microwave popcorn, Tim's almost as good as we are but he'd probably turn Watchtower into a video game arcade if I let him anywhere near it—seriously, can you imagine Bruce sitting down at his workstation and having Angry Birds or Star Wars; Revenge of the Sith pop up? I think we've had enough funerals in the Bat Family, thank you very much. Jason and Stephanie were already long gone—not that they would have been of any help anyway, so was Cassie but even if she weren't she could barely speak, Damian was a worthless little psychopathic shit—not to speak ill of the dead-and Alfred is handy with research and sutures but he's no Felicity Smoak-Fox when it comes to computers. Bruce could have done it but between the boardroom and the Bat when would he have the time?"

"I don't think my Dad likes to think about the logistics of Bruce being the Batman too much. Remember he's going for that whole 'plausible deniability' thing. He's never even spoken about it to me except to say that if I ever need help with any 'special projects' business to let him know."

"Yeah well, that's the good news. Here's the bad news: The reason he's coming down is that the Huntress dropped in his lap the fact that someone put out feelers on you a while back and they were looking for an out of town contractor to get it done."

Felicity stopped short and licked her lips. Her mind quickly scanned through any possible names who might want her dead and, to her surprise; there were a lot of them. "Who's the client?"

"Don't know; kind of a moot point though since the contract was rescinded around eighteen months ago. Since you're still alive I'm guessing whoever had the wild hair up their ass got over it. Bruce, however, doesn't see the silver lining in that and when he gets there he's not just planning on spanking your cute little tushie—although I suspect you both might get a kick out of that—"

"Not funny."

"It's a little funny," Barbara disagreed, "Point is, he's also gunning for your boss."

"Oliver or the Arrow?"

"I'm sorry, is there a difference?"

"Shit." Felicity cursed under her breath. She briefly considered trying to convince Barbara that Oliver wasn't the Arrow but the tone of the other woman's voice and the look on her face told her she wouldn't buy it. "How?"

"Lots of stuff, the clues are there when you know what to look for not to mention the fact that you appear to have a type: Billionaire Playboy by day, Masked Vigilante by night. You have heard of eHarmony, right? ? They even have internet dating for farmers these days if you want to go all Green Acres." Barbara said with a wry tone. "C'mon, Baby, do I have to give you the speech about not falling into destructive relationship patterns by channeling Dr. Phil or are you going to move to Metropolis next and try on something a little less brooding and a little more into primary colors?" Barbara paused, "You know, that guy flies. I wonder if anything of his catches on fire? Mmm, I'd risk some rug burns for that."

She chose to ignore the other woman's sarcasm and go for optimism instead. "But he just suspects, right? He doesn't have anything concrete."

"Yeah, that's the spirit! Keep the faith, sunshine. Good things happen all the time like kittens popping out of rainbows being farted out of a unicorn's butt because everyone knows that the Batman is a calm and reasonable kind of guy." Felicity groaned and cupped her head in her hands but Barbara continued. "The fact that your Hottie in Green is connected to Ra's al Ghul doesn't help much either."

"Wait, what?!" Felicity's head shot up in alarm. "Oliver has nothing to do with Ra's al Ghul!" Not quite a lie. Ra's name had come up as they had begun to investigate the League of Assassins, plus there had been that uneasy alliance with Nyssa during the Army of Blood thing almost a year and a half ago, but Felicity wasn't planning on mentioning that unless she was cornered. As for her own team, she had heard of Ra's long before meeting Oliver but had held off sharing what she knew with them simply because she didn't know enough to add anything of value. Bruce had been very secretive about his past association with the leader of the League of Assassins and had no idea she even knew as much as she did. Besides, all it would have led to is more questions, questions Felicity couldn't answer.

Once again she wondered if keeping her past affiliation with Batman a secret had been a mistake on her part but she quickly dismissed the thought. It was too late now and the last thing she needed to do was tell Barbara that there was, in fact, some connection between the Arrow's mission and Ra's al Ghul when Oliver himself was still working all that out. Barbara wouldn't dare withhold that kind of information from Bruce and few things got under the man's skin worse than that particular name.

As if reading her thoughts Barbara said, "Maybe, maybe not, but that island he was on was a training ground for the League of Assassins and you know how he gets with anything Ra's related. If he was a little ticked when he found out about the Arrow recruiting you, then you should have seen him when he asked me to look into this Lian Yu place: Not. Happy."

"Yeah, I can imagine," Felicity muttered. "When did all this happen?" She asked wearily. "What's my timeline?"

"The Huntress was last night and the Lian Yu thing was early this morning. I waited until Bruce went down for his BatNap just in case he decided to be really paranoid and monitor even the secure channels. I'm giving you as much time as I can, Baby." Barbara sighed and sat back from the monitor. "Look, how well do you know this Oliver guy?"

"He doesn't know Ra's, Barb. I'd know it if he was League and I would have called you guys first thing if he was. I'm not saying there isn't a Ra's connection here in Starling, we've been tracking it ourselves, but Oliver isn't it. Before he met me this was a two man operation in an abandoned warehouse and they were getting by with a desktop his bodyguard picked up for him at Walmart. Barb, swear to God, they were still using McAfee because they thought it meant they were 'secure'," she said quietly but with confidence. Something occurred to her, "Did the client put feelers out to the League about me? Is that what has Bruce in a tizzy?"

"Baby-Girl, if the League had been given the contract you would already be dead by now and if the client pulled it before it was done, they'd be dead. The League has a strict 'no take-sies, back-sies' rule about that kind of thing," Barbara said bluntly. "Whoever put out the hit contacted a high-end broker, the kind of guy who doesn't advertise so you have to be in the know just to find him, and one who is strictly into hiring non-League assassins so either that was happy coincidence or they're trying to sneak in under the League's radar. That's one of many things bothering Bruce about this. If Queen was League and they wanted to cripple his operation by getting to you, then they'd have a reason to look for an independent operator. It could be a coincidence but you know how Bruce feels about those. He thinks Queen recruited you for a reason, babe. Bruce still files you under 'Family' so it's not completely outside the realm of possibility."

"First off, he didn't recruit me; not really. He got lucky, that's all. He was so hopelessly out of his league with this thing he was going to his own company's IT department with bullet ridden laptops looking for help. The fact that I happened to be the one he spoke to is a goddamn miracle, anyone else would have dropped a dime. I still haven't completely figured that one out yet. All I know is that he asked Walter Steele who he could trust in IT and he sent him to me. He doesn't even know that Lucius is my dad much less my connection to Gotham City and the Bat and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Wait, you've been with this guy for all this time and he still doesn't know anything about you?" Barbara huffed, "And I thought I had a shitty love life."

"It's not like that," Felicity denied.

"You're blushing."

"So? I blush at a drop of the hat. I blush when Pepe LePew tries to seduce the pussycat on Cartoon Network!" She said going from light pink to blood red.

"Okay, you might not be playing 'Hide the Arrow' with your honey in green but you like him," Barbara teased knowingly. "Just be careful with Bruce, girl. He's always been unpredictable when it comes to you. Remember, I was there when you went from 'Baby', the tow-headed little tyke who stopped by the manor every once in a while with her daddy, to 'Felicity', the stacked 18 year old blonde bombshell with the doctorate and the tits that defied gravity."

"Says the woman with the 'D' cups," she said ruefully then looked down at her much more modest chest. "My alphabet ends two whole letters before yours."

"Don't sell your bee stings short," she told her. "They fit your frame better than mine do and you have no idea how hard it is finding a decent bra some days. Believe me, underwire is both a blessing and a curse and sports bras can only do so much. Dick liked them, naturally, but you try running around in a mask with knockers that big. One night my elastic gave up the ghost while I was swinging from rooftop to rooftop and I nearly gave myself two black eyes. Besides, those puppies were good enough to have the Grim Guy in the Cowl take a second look so enjoy them; he certainly did."

"Hilarious," she said flatly.

"It's the truth," she shrugged. "I may not know what went down between you two right before you took off to Starling City but I had to live with the aftermath. Those first six months you were gone there was practically zero crime in Gotham. He was so bad even Alfred was about to strangle him."

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad," Felicity said, suddenly unwilling to look directly into the camera. "Bruce doesn't—didn't—have those kinds of feelings for me."

"You've been gone, what? A little over four years?"

"Yeah, so?"

Barbara sighed and leaned toward the monitor. "There are only two names that no one is allowed to utter in his presence because if anyone mentions either of them he goes dark for days: Selina Kyle and Felicity Smoak."

"She's still missing?" Felicity asked quietly. "I thought he would have found her by now."

"He stopped looking a while back," she said sadly. "I think that when you left he realized that…well…" She shook her head. "When Selina left he convinced himself that something had to have happened to her. He couldn't accept that she had just had enough of his obsession with the mission. He kept trying to change her, tame her down, but he wouldn't change for her in return. You know how it is with him; he has to control everything and everyone in his little universe and you just can't domesticate a woman like Selena. Then you came along and threw him for a loop and he didn't know which way was up anymore. He was so damn confused by you it would have been hilarious if the man wasn't such a goddamn misery to be around. Then, one day, everything just changed. You left and he went to a darker place then any of us had ever seen up to that point. I offered to talk to you for him after a particularly bad night and he almost took my head off, said to never mention you again in the Cave or anywhere else for that matter." She shot her a sad look, "I think you made him finally realize just how destructive this thing he carries inside of him is to the rest of us. We had hoped he'd have some kind of epiphany and wake up but he went the opposite direction. After Damian died it got even worse. He even tried pushing me, Dick, and Tim out for a while. I think that's part of what drove Dick to another team after Bruce got back from his mental health moment; that and the fact that Bruce took back the cowl. He kind of got used to being the Bat and going back to Nightwing felt like getting sent back down to the Minors for him."

"I don't know why Dick always had such a complex about that stuff," Felicity said sympathetically. "I know you and he have some recent rough history but he's a good man and he's brilliant. I just wish he would get over it."

"Baby, you are preaching to the choir!" Barbara sighed, "You can't even blame it all on Bruce either. It's that whole Bat Curse thing they all have. Dick's own worst enemy is Dick, but enough on that. I could spend all day on that man. Tim's the only one who ever escaped the Bat-Angst but only by the skin of his teeth. He was always Bruce's special kid, you know; the first one who wasn't a complete wreck before he got to him, the only one who still has an intact heart. Damian was hard for Tim to deal with from the minute he showed up on Bruce's doorstep. And that's really saying something; you know Tim, he loves everybody."

"Yeah," Felicity said with a half-smile, "He's a sweetie! I just hope he and my sister figure it out once and for all before it's too late."

"Are they back on or off?" Barbara asked.

"I can't keep up," Felicity snorted. "They never really 'break-up' per se, they just kind of wander away from each other then hook back up several months later. The word 'commitment' gives them both the heebie-jeebies."

"That's a total Bat thing, trust me. Every damn one of them would rather walk naked in a room full of barbed wire than actually commit," Barbara snorted then grumbled, "I miss having Tim around the Cave. He was my special little buddy but he had no choice really but to take off. Like I was saying about the Anti-Christ and Timmy, that little psycho-creep had him so damned frosty from trying to kill him every five seconds he had to leave. Hell, Alfred nearly joined him! When Alfred can't stand someone you know it's bad. I thought for sure he was just going to lose it one day and pour rat poison on top of the little shit's Froot Loops. Bruce was no help at all. He was practically catatonic from the shock of just having to deal with him and Tim couldn't even sleep in the same house as the little fucker. After Bruce made him promise to stop trying to kill Tim, Damian broke into his room when he was sleeping and put a knife on the pillow next to his head because, and I quote, he was 'trying to make a funny'. He could have taken him down but it was Bruce's kid and he didn't want to cause him any more pain than he had to. Instead he wound up spending more nights on my couch than I can count."

She shook her head again, her countenance grim, "I could have kicked Bruce's ass for that and Dick wasn't much better. They were both so concerned with reining in Damian that Tim got completely left out in the cold. He seemed to handle it but I could tell he was upset. One night on the couch became two and before I knew it I had a roommate. I didn't mind though. I mean, it's Tim; talk about someone who's easy to have around. It became pretty obvious he wasn't going anywhere so I broke down and decided to build a second bedroom in the clock tower; Lord knows I have the room for it. Hell, other than my bedroom and the bathroom I don't have any walls in this place, it's all wide open. I was going to ask Timmy to throw up some dry wall and go to the furniture store with me so I could reclaim my couch but before I could break out the hammer and nails all the stress and lack of sleep finally got to him and he beat the shit out of the little fucker one day right out of the blue. I mean, the kid had it coming and I said as much to Bruce but for Tim it was the final straw. I know for a fact that's what made Tim finally say enough is enough. Then when Damian died, and Bruce just lost his nut, Tim was just so angry and torn up about the whole thing. On one hand it was Bruce's biological son but the kid was a monster, literally a monster. Bruce losing it over the kid that tried to kill him and nearly got him killed more times than he could count just felt like the worst kind of betrayal. Add to that Bruce's whole habit of isolating himself when he's in wounded animal mode…" She sighed, "Dick and Tim just couldn't keep doing the push me, pull me dance with Bruce. Tim always felt like Bruce didn't trust or love him enough and Dick always felt like he was coming up short."

"Ironic then that he keeps going for tall redheads," Felicity joked weakly and got an amused snort for her efforts. Oh man, she missed Barbara. Unlike most people Barbara Gordon truly admired her foot-in-mouth disease.

She smiled at her through the screen of her tablet, "I'm not trying to bring down the mood but it's been lonely on this end for a while now, Baby. Especially for Bruce. He's pushed everyone out but me and Alfred. He's been getting better but a part of him has been dead inside for a while now. It's like Bruce has been in a fog and then-Look, all I know is that the second he heard your name…Felicity, I can't describe it. He's an intense guy, he gets focused and everything falls to the wayside, but when he heard that Huntress chick say she held a crossbow to your throat…"

"Crap on a cracker," Felicity said with a wince. "She had to go and mention that, huh?"

"Yeah, I don't think you're on her Christmas card list anymore. He didn't react well to that information-at all."

"It's not like we were ever Facebook friends," Felicity shrugged. "Gotta say, I really don't feel all that bad about him kicking her leather clad ass either."

"Point is it woke him up and not in a good way. He's not too happy with the Arrow for even putting you in her orbit. Dick and I were a hell of a lot younger and dumber than you when we joined up and he had us literally juggling knives within a week, but he always acted like you were made out of spun glass. He'd bark orders and curse at us until he was blue in the face and then you'd walk in and he'd go from Bat to Bashful so fast it gave the rest of us whiplash. Even his voice changed around you."

"I remember," Felicity said quietly. Her dad had always called her 'Baby', never 'Felicity', and most close friends and family had gotten into the habit as well. With her dad and her siblings from his first marriage it was never, 'Look what Felicity did' it was 'Look what Baby did'. Even Dick and Barbara (and to a lesser extent her sister's occasional boyfriend Tim Drake-Wayne) would teasingly call her 'Baby' in an annoying way, but not Bruce. When Bruce said 'Baby', it didn't sound like an affectionate nickname, it sounded…she shivered and hoped Barbara didn't notice.

"You exposed a side to Bruce none of us even knew existed so when the Huntress practically threatened to go back and finish the job she'd started by holding a crossbow to your throat, he totally lost it. I wasn't kidding about the shoulder. He nearly wrenched it from the socket and that was before he ever heard your name. After that he really got mad."

"That bad, huh? Yeah, she was probably pissed because I slipped her some dummy hardware. It was the second time she'd done the crossbow thing and I wasn't in the mood to be generous," Felicity said, trying not to read too much into what Barbara was saying about Bruce's feelings towards her. After all, as much as she cared for the older woman, not even she had been told everything that had happened between them. Her sister had been the only one who knew the details of their one brief failed liaison. Bruce was just being territorial as far as she was concerned, that's all.

"Eh, fuck her if she can't take a joke," she said dismissively. "But back to Bruce; I mentioned the jet thing, right?" Barbara reminded her with a wry grin. "Look Baby, he's gunning for the Arrow and he might be telling himself that it's about the Huntress, or Ra's, or the fact that your guy gets a bit lethal with his arrows from time to time, but it's ultimately about you. Just you. My advice, since you two aren't 'involved', is to take a mini-break and let the masks sort it out among themselves without you in the picture to confuse matters. Don't get in the middle of it. You can come down here and stay with me and maybe visit with your dad when he gets back. Maybe if Bruce sees you've left Starling City, it'll calm him down and he'll forget about him. In fact, he'll probably just turn around and try to convince you to stay here permanently instead." Barbara grinned, "The Batcave is due for some upgrades and I'm sure Alfred would love to see you…not to mention that we could all reap the benefits from you and Bruce finally doing something to resolve that sexual tension that was always sparking between you. I mean, if there's anyone besides me that really needs to get laid…"

"Trust me, everything between Bruce and myself was resolved more than four years ago," Felicity snorted.

Barbara's jaw dropped and Felicity realized just what a tremendous faux pas she just made. "Holy shit! You two really did sleep together? And you didn't tell me? You bitch!"

"No, no, no, no!" Felicity stammered. "I mean, yes—no—um—no comment!"

"Oh my GOD! You did!" She howled. "You little minx! I want details! Lots of details!"

"I'm not having this conversation!" Felicity shouted. "I'm logging off now!"

"No, no, no, no, no! I'll stop, I promise!" Barbara said waving frantically at the monitor.

"You swear?" Felicity asked, face burning hot with embarrassment.

"I swear!" Barbara said as she crossed her heart with her fingers.

"Fine," Felicity said cautiously. "Look, I need to know if you have my back here. I know your first duty is to Bruce, and I would never ask you to compromise that, but things aren't…we're doing good work here, Barb. It might not look that way from Gotham, and we might not be as sophisticated an operation as you guys, but we're in the middle of some pretty intense stuff and having the Batman tear through town could tilt the delicate balance we have going. I promise you, we're not just playing Robin Hood for kicks. There are real lives on the line here and Starling City is just as important to us as Gotham is to all of you." She put all the sincerity she could muster in her next words, "If it comes down to it, if Bruce forces me to have to make a choice between staying here and compromising my team or leaving and never looking back, I'll leave. I will cut ties and take off to Europe or go be with Luke in Africa and try to contribute down there, but I won't just let Bruce Wayne or Batman think he can snap his fingers and summon me back to Gotham. I also won't just roll over or abandon my team without trying to mitigate the possible exposure of their identities as much as possible. I can't reveal the Arrow to Bruce any more than I could unmask Batman to my team. Bruce suspecting that Oliver Queen is the Arrow and him knowing are still two very different things. If I have to use a bit of obfuscation to protect them, all I ask is that you pick up what I'm putting down and try not to unravel anything too quickly for Bruce. Buy me a little time, that's all I'm asking."

Barbara took a minute to consider her words, "I won't lie to Bruce but, if you should happen to lay a few traps, I'll do my best to fall into them, okay?"

"Thank you," she said, exhaling a shaky breath.

"You and Bruce, always with your protocols and mazes within mazes—you already had a contingency plan for this set up, didn't you?" Her green eyes sparkled merrily, the mood suddenly picking back up.

"Well…" Felicity muttered, her lips ticking upward. "I had a few protocols in place in case we were exposed. I thought it was going to be a cop turning us in but it works for Bruce just as well."

"Just you protect yourself, too, understood? Just because the hit got cancelled doesn't mean the danger has passed. "

Danger was something she was all too familiar with these days. "If someone wanted me dead, I'd be dead, but…I'll do my best."

"Great, now that that's all settled, I just have one question."

"Shoot."

"It's about the tumbler, you know, the Batmobile!"

"The tumbler?" She asked in confusion, "What about it?"

"Well, I was just wondering," Barbara's lips curled upwards in a saucy grin, "in regards to what you know about Bruce and the Batmobile's specs, is it true what they say about men using their cars to compensate for the size of their—?"

"Goodbye Barbara!" Felicity said just as she ended the transmission. She sat back into the couch cushions with an "Oof!" and eyed the now cold containers of Chinese takeout with a grimace.

"Damn, I think I just lost my appetite."