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CHAPTER THREE

Kitchen Counters and Accusations

Through the woods Alice ran. Branches skimmed my face and drew blood. I could feel it trickling down past my chin. My stomach was getting queasy, I still hadn't gotten quite use to the speed of a vampire.

The next thing I knew my feet hit the dirt. Alice stopped and led the way to the house without looking behind to see if I had followed. I ran to catch up.

"What's happening Alice?!"

I stepped in front of her, she walked past me without any effort and kept heading for the house.

"You'll find out when we're inside". I continued following. "Oh and Bella I'm mad at you".

I stopped in the path for a brief second, Alice had never been mad at me before. I couldn't even remember any time that I had even seen her slightly angered. I had to jog to catch up. Of coarse she was mad, I just left her brother and how he was missing because of me. Edward left to find the Volturi because I had broken his heart. Where he was heading could kill him and the blame was to fall on me.

We stopped at the door and Alice turned to me.

"They're mad too". She opened the door and walked in. I slowly tracked behind.

I walked into a circle of vampires. Every Cullen family member was present, staring at me with intense glares. I didn't know what to do, why did they want me? No matter how much I loved them and how much I had planed to join their family it didn't happen. I had to take a different path. I needed Jacob.

Esme walked up to me and put her hand on my shoulder right where Edward had just a few hours before. She knew that, I'm sure that's why she did it.

"Bella, we are not here to blame you tonight. The purpose of this meeting is for Edward, we need to go over a few things".

"Okay". That was my only response. I never had a good track record for thinking on an impulse. She continued.

"When he left did he say anything unusual, maybe confusing?"

"No"

"Are you sure Bella?" I could hear desperation in her tone.

"Yes, I'm sure"

"Okay". She seemed to have given up as she stepped back and Carlisle walked up to her side. He spoke.

"Bella did Edward act in an odd manner?" I thought to myself, how was a person suppose to act when their heart had just been ripped out? I was pretty sure Edward had taken it pretty well.

"No", I answered. Just then I noticed Jasper in the shadow of the staircase. He was tensing his hands. I put my hand to my cheek and instantly remembered the branches that had hit my face. Blood was trickling down my neck now. Carlisle came closer and examined my face.

"This looks deep Bella, how did you do this?" Without giving time to answer he grabbed my arm and lead me into the kitchen. As I went through the door I could see Jasper relax. "Get up on the counter", Carlisle ordered. I obeyed and as soon as I got up he had bandages up to my face. He wiped away the blood and hid the cuts with the bandages. "There you go, much better". He glided towards the door. "Bella you can stay in here for a few minutes while we discuss some things". The door swung shut behind him.

I was alone on the counter sitting like a frozen gargoyle. Since when had I not been involved in family discussions, especially those regarding Edward. Then I remembered Jacob. My mind had been in a different time. A time when I was trusted and loved by the Cullen family . When I was in love with their Edward, my Edward. That hadn't changed, I was still in love with him, my body still craved for his touch. But I was also in love with Jacob and I chose him. This would be a decision that I was going to have to live with. Then a new load of worry hit me, where was Jacob and why hadn't he returned within those five minutes? I felt panic coming.

"It's her fault!" I heard past the kitchen door, this sounded like Jasper. "If she hadn't done this then everything would be fine still"

"It's not her fault Jasper, he would have gone sooner or later" This was now Esme. "It was only a matter of time". Rosalie interrupted.

"He couldn't have gotten far, he only left a couple hours ago."

"No Edward's long gone, he's probably halfway there", interjected Alice, "besides he was determined, we all know there wouldn't have been much we could have done if he had only been five minutes ahead let alone two hours".

I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to get off the counter and walked towards the door. When I walked through they all stopped arguing immediately. I froze.

"Yes Bella?" asked Esme. Why the hell did I get myself into this, what could I possibly say to them to make things better. Nothing. But I had to say something.

"I um…wanted to say that I made a mistake". Alice jumped from the couch and stood tall, well as tall as she could.

"Damn right you made a mistake. This is your fault. I love you Bella, but right now I really hate you". It hurt, but I deserved it.

"I didn't mean to cause this whole mess. I just-" my eyes started streaming, "I just had to choose one. I had to pick". Jasper left the room and with him he took the calming aurora. Rosalie and Emmett closely followed behind, but she didn't leave without sending me a harsh glare. Normally this didn't effect me so but all I could do was blubber. This time I actually deserved her attitude. Emmett sent me a look of clemency. At least he didn't hate me.

"I'm so sorry. I love him. I love Edward, but I love Jacob too". I turned to Alice for justification. "I couldn't just stay in the middle, I had to pick". She frowned and left the house. I was left standing by the kitchen door when Esme walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. She kissed my head.

"Sweet Bella, it's not your fault. Edward chose to leave. The blame is on him and him only".

I mumbled. "I just feel so…bad". She walked me across the living room and continued up the stairs and down the hall. She was taking me to Edward's room. I stopped.

"I can't go in there!"

"Bella you need to rest, you haven't slept in days".

I repeated. "I can't go in there"

"Bella you must, you need to sleep and there is an empty bed". She lead me in the room and tucked me in the over-sized bed. The one that Edward had gotten for me. I felt like a child. "Rest well Bella, the day has been long". And with that she left the room.

Against my will I succumbed to sleep.

An hour or more passed and I woke. I couldn't stay in the bed. That was Edward's bed, how could I even consider sleeping in it! I grabbed a pillow and a throw blanket and moved to the couch. Next thing I knew everything was dark, I fell out of consciousness instantaneously.