I feel guilty doing so, but during some of my time off, I look at some of the record books. I am curious.

I am an angel of grief. I can't help wonder if Dean will be grieving anytime soon. His father is very sickly, and there is always a chance he will grieve for him soon.

I feel very guilty doing this. No one should wish this upon a person. But I must satisfy my curiosity, and, see if Dean will have a reason to grieve soon. I do not wish it for him. But if circumstances brought him grief…

There is a chance I could hold his being in my loving embrace for a very long time.

The record book shows clear skies for Dean, and the rest of his family. Raphael, my brother, is assigned to continue healing John Winchester. I feel happy for Dean. And for Sam, their mother Mary, and John himself. They are a good family. They love each other. I am glad to know Dean's heart will not be darkened with sorrow any time soon.

Yet, this leaves me with the dilemma of figuring out an excuse to spend real time with Dean.

I do not have any real reason. Other than it would give me pleasure. And being an Angel of the Lord, that is not enough.

We are permitted to wander the heavens and the earth with time not obligated with duty, to explore other planets and galaxies, to enjoy the beauty we behold, whether it be a creation of our Lord or man-made. I have often enjoyed peacefully gazing at certain man-made monuments, delighting in the architecture and man's creativity.

But to continue to reappear and show my human likeness to Dean Winchester? This is not usually allowed unless God deems it. He is human, I am an angel.

I decide to discuss it with one of my brothers. I choose Gabriel, because not only is he less likely to be disturbed by my behavior, but he also is well-versed in the manner in which humans speak in this time period. It would do me well to learn from him, if I am to actually speak with Dean Winchester again.

Thinking Dean's name sends ripples of pleasure through me.

I am at Gabriel's side immediately. My beautiful brother, he often chooses to project his human likeness, even here in Heaven. He calls himself a jokester; he is always showing a smile on the likeness of lips and eyes.

"Castiel!" Gabriel shouts out in Dean's language. I am surprised. We usually speak in Enochian. Maybe he just came from one of the English speaking countries? There are several on Earth.

'Hello, my brother," I say in English. "Actually, I am glad we are speaking in this language, because I would like some advice on how to sound – more –"

Gabriel raises his eyebrows. "More ordinary? You still speak like the archaic being that you are. Sure, I can help you. But why the sudden interest in speaking like today's humans?" Gabriel leaned in closer. "You have an interesting assignment? Something I should know about?"

I look down, uncertain how to unravel my confessions and feelings for Dean. Gabriel notices my discomfort.

"Are you – are you up to something? Gabriel says in amazement. "I really doubt you'd have an interesting assignment anyway, unless one of the world leaders is going to be stuck with a death in the family soon."

"Normally, I would see all humans as the same," I stammer out.

"Buuuut," Gabriel says, stretching out the word.

"But," I say, blinking.

"Dude. You like somebody. I can't even believe this is happening." Gabriel spins around, puts his hands above the likeness of his head.

"Don't tell me you've shown yourself to this person."

"I have. How do you know this?"

"Well, if you're suddenly wanting to speak current day English, it would have to mean you've either shown yourself to a human, or planned to."

"Are you going to, inform the garrison?" I ask, afraid.

"No, no, brother. This won't be the first time an angel's had this inclination, but don't expect it to go anywhere. Believe me, I tried over a millennia ago. Really pretty gal. But it went nowhere. Be careful, Castiel. Talk to this…who is it?"

"His name is Dean Winchester," I say proudly.

"Dean?" Gabriel thinks for a moment. "I know of him. I've taught him a few things. You might not like his sense of humor sometimes though. Just remember, humans these days can be…abrasive. I'll be interested to see if you can tolerate him in certain moments, but then I could say that of all humans."

"What moments are you speaking of?" I ask, so very curious.

"Oh, he can be a – well, what humans call a 'dick' sometimes…but all in all he's a good guy. He does treat men better than he treats women, I know that much."

"Anyway, bro, if you're going to talk to Dean, you need to learn to speak a little more like a regular dude. You'll freak him out if you come off talking like some museum piece. And don't appear to him too damn much. You'll attract attention. Not only that, some of your purpose might rub off on him. That's not such a bad thing when you consider what my purpose and duty is, but when it comes to yours…we don't want Dean to become a miserable, blubbering fool for no reason."

"I would be grateful for any help," I tell Gabriel.

I spend many of my free moments with Gabriel, it is but a speck of time in the grand picture of things. Yet, for Dean, several days have gone by when I am finished. I figure it would be 'okay' to say hello to him again. I notice where he is on the continent, and wait for him to emerge from a building. Sam is off doing something else, it is a rare occasion that Dean is alone, and that is why I chose this moment and place.

Dean walks out and looks at me with great surprise. It is dark out but he must see me with the nearby streetlight.

"Hello," I say, and I have to catch myself, as I almost say, "Dean," but I remember he did not tell me his name. I do not want to 'freak him out' as Gabriel expresses it…I mean, puts it.

"Wow, I can't believe it's you," Dean says, and I am very surprised. He looks so pleased, and he's examining my face again. This is what Gabriel would call 'checking me out.'

If I were to have a heart in the likeness of my chest, it would be beating rapidly right now.

"You remember me?" I ask. "I am sig…" I am about to say significant, and then realize that might sound odd. I think of the expressions Gabriel taught me. I am a little too flustered to think of anything, though, and just stand there, hoping Dean will talk with me further.

Dean is smiling widely. "What was that, some town five hours from here? And I run into you again, here?" Dean laughs. "God, what a coincidence! Or, are you following me?"

"Yes," I say, and then realize it might sound 'weird'. "No," I say instead. "I mean…" I am flustered again. I do not want to lie to Dean, but I do not want to tell him the truth, either.

Dean looks into my eyes. His gaze is gentle, not angry. "If you've been following me, I'm not sure I would mind." Dean looks around. "Where's your car?"

"I have no…car." I say. Gabriel stressed over and over, that people drive in cars these days, not carriages.

Dean raises an eyebrow. "How'd you get here?"

"I have…reliable transportation," I say vaguely. I am not quite ready to reveal my true nature to him yet.

"Well, aren't you a mystery man!" Dean smiles. "Castiel, isn't it?"

"Yes, I am Castiel," I agree. "You remember my name." And I am swooning, because he not only remembered my face, but he remembered my name.

"I'm Dean," he says, and puts out his hand for me. I grip it with my likeness. He shakes our hands up and down a couple times, and squeezes my hand, before letting go.

I'm still taking in the exquisite sensations rushing through my angelic being, of having made physical contact with Dean, how it felt more wonderful than the many other beauties I have witnessed. Dean stands there, contemplating me, perhaps wondering if he should say a certain thought crossing his mind. I wonder what it is.

I don't know what it is, though. I cannot hear human thoughts unless they are either grieving, or directed at me. So even if he is thinking something about me right now, I do not know what it is, because he is not trying to speak to me with his thoughts.

I feel a large twinge of regret, that I have to leave soon. Gabriel warned me of this - that if I became too attached I would feel pain from leaving him. It is not unlike the grief my charges feel for their lost loved ones. At least I know I can see Dean Winchester again. This thought alone uplifts me from my disappointment from having to leave him.

"I regret, I must be going," I say.

"Okay," Dean says. "Well, nice seeing you again, Castiel," Dean says, and he still seems to have a thought stuck in his head that he is uncertain about.

I wish I had the time to mete out his musings with some encouragement, but I do not. I nod at him briskly and head around the corner.

Dean slapped his knee and said out loud, "Fuck, why didn't I ask him for his phone number?" On impulse, Dean walked to the end of the block and turned at the corner Castiel had disappeared down.

"Wow, he really disappeared," Dean said to himself. Castiel was nowhere in sight.

Dean was inwardly kicking himself all the way back to the motel room. He barely knew this guy, but he knew one thing, it felt incredible to be looking at that face again. Dean was still closing his eyes briefly here and there, with the hopes the image would be etched inside his brain. It was.

What were the chances, Dean was thinking, that he'd even run into this guy again? It was a miracle he'd even run into him in the first place. And why did he care so much, other than the man was so gorgeous that angels must be crying tears of joy to look at him?

Dean cared, he realized, because he'd never felt this way about a stranger before in his entire life.

He felt captivated, flushed with excitement. He had the most intense feeling of spring fever he'd ever had. Like life was new all over again.

And if Castiel was the cause of this, why had he let him slip away?

Dean kept trying to remind himself to face reality. He didn't know the guy. He could be crazy. He could be someone Dean wouldn't get along with at all. And worse of all, Dean would probably never see him again.

But Dean had to smile at that last thought, because he'd had it before, and he was wrong.

"You won't believe who I ran into," Dean said when he burst into the motel room.

Sam was hunched over his laptop on his bed. "Who?" Some realization came over his face. "Was it that one cute guy? The weird one?"

"Yes!" Dean said, clapping his hands. He fell back onto his own bed, enjoying the bounce. He stared up at the ceiling. "I can't believe I ran into him again, I mean, that was off in…I can't even remember the name of the town. I mean, what are the chances of running into a stranger like that again, somewhere else?"

"Pretty low, if you ask me," Sam says. "So, are you hooking up with him tonight?"

"No," Dean said, punching the mattress next to his thigh. "I didn't get it in time. He suddenly needed to take off. Fuck. I'm so horny right now. I could get off just thinking of that face!"

"God no, not in front of me, asshole!" Sam threw a pillow at him. "And there are no gay bars in this town, just so you know."

"Shit. Well then, I need to take a shower, now."

"Fuck you very much," Sam said. "You know how much I hate being your brother sometimes? You and your big mouth?"

"Oh, you'll get back at me somehow," Dean said. "Like putting some titty picture all over the laptop again. Blech. See you later." Dean bounced back up, headed into the shower.

Sam rolled his eyes and put his earbuds in, and turned up some music. Dean could get noisy if he was having a good orgasm.