Disclaimer: I'm writing a disclaimer aren't I? That means I don't own anything.

I NEED YOUR HELP! Dooku wants Anakin to find out who the Sith Lord is…and I want YOU to tell me what YOU think the final clue should be! I'd appreciate your input.

Note: In this crack!verse Anakin and Padme aren't married. They're more like BFFs…or you could consider him her "Sassy Gay Friend" lawl

I have no beta. All mistakes and general bad grammar are of my own fault because I hated typing class.

CCAdventures Proudly Presents:
Chapter Three!

Once he got some decent clothes on, Rex looked very intent on killing Anakin and killing him slowly.

Why's everybody gotta be so kinky? , he thought as he raced from the landing platforms to the Jedi Temple. Once there, he was safe. Sort of. In a way…ish. You never knew where that bald headed, purple loving fre-. His thoughts were cut short as he slammed into someone. Stumbling backwards, he looked up. Before him stood Even Piell, Stass Allie, and Adi Gallia. He got up and tried going around them, but they moved him. He groaned in frustration.

"Okay guys, seriously. What's going on here?"

The three then burst into song.

"Mailtime. Mailtime. Mailtime. MAILTIME!"

"Oh no."

"Here's the mail that never fails, it makes me wanna wag my tail!"

"What tail?"

"When it comes I wanna wail…MAIL!"

Anakin was soon trampled by every present member of the Jedi Order, of course going to get their mail.

This day just keeps getting weirder.

Every person who had just run over Anakin started singing yet again.

"We just got a letter! We just got a letter! We just got a letter! I wonder who it's from!"

"Oh my gosh!" Ahsoka said. "I got a letter from Lee Sung!"

"Who's Lee Sung?" Anakin asked. Ahsoka turned around at the sound of her master's voice. Thankfully, this time he was fully clothed.

"Oh, you know Master, the extremely tall Asian guy from Earth. You know," Her voice suddenly dropped at least four pitches. "We have Asian influence on our side."

Anakin just stared blankly at her. "Right…" He turned away quickly on his heel, eager to get away from the mail fanatics.

…More like lunatics.

"Master! Aren't you going to read YOUR letter!" Anakin sighed.

"Let me see it." He opened the too large envelope as Ahsoka tried to look over his shoulder.

"Hello Skywalker." Anakin dropped the envelope screaming. Dooku was really ugly close up.

"No need to get excited." He had obviously expected that reaction. Ahsoka giggled. "Hopefully by now you have at least found the first of my three clues. I have decided to give you a hint on where the next clue is, rather than have you search all of Coruscant for it. It's in the Senate building. That is all. Toodles!"

"Toodles?"

"What does he mean by clues?"

"I'm on a mission to figure out what he knows."

"Oh. What does he know?" Anakin gave her an exasperated look.

"Do you not listen to me?" She smiled.

"Of course I do! It's hard to take anyone seriously after they've been naked on a landing platform with Rex."

"That wasn't what it looked like."

"Then why are you denying it? I could have been thinking about something else."

Anakin glared at her. "Don't turn this into a slash fic."

"Why not? You're in denial and…I like slash fics."

"I'm not in denial, because there is nothing to deny. Come on." He started walking. She followed obediently.

"Where are we going?"

"To the Senate building." Ahsoka stopped suddenly.

"Wait, you actually believe that pointy chinned, kinky weirdo?" Anakin turned around, a triumphant look plastered on his face.

"I knew I wasn't the only one who thought he was kinky! And yes. I do believe him. See this bruise!" He lifted up his bangs. She raised an eyebrow. "I didn't believe that he would actually hit me in the face with a lightsaber, but look at me now! Of course I believe him."

"Master…the bruise is on the other side of your forehead." His face went blank.

"Whatever Snips, let's go." He took off again. She sighed and fell into step with her Master.

"We are looking for clues now. We are singing 'bout clues now. We are looking for—"

"Master?"

"Hmm?"

"What in the world are you singing?" Anakin blushed.

"I just thought…I was…It was…I don't really know." She stared at him blankly.

"Right…So, don't you think your mission is a little…weird?" Anakin opened the door to the Senate building and they stepped inside.

"Um, no. Why would it be weird?"

"Because you're on a mission for the Sith…why?"

"Well, now that you put it that way, I guess it is a little odd." He rubbed his forehead, wincing. "Hey Snips, does this bruise look like its getting worse to you? It sure feels like it to me."

Ahsoka smirked. "Really? I thought it was just a hickey." Anakin frowned.

"It's not a hickey! I would never do that with Rex."

"Oh really? What about your master?" Anakin blushed.

"No!"

"Or Master Vos?"

"Gods, no!"

"What about Windu?"

"Are you insane!"

"Or…Master Yoda!" Anakin covered his ears.

"La la la la! I'm not listening! No, no, no, no, and no!" The Senate guards gave the two Jedi a weird look before pulling out their commlinks.

"Senator Amidala, your…friends are here. They're causing quite a scene." From the commotion she heard in the background, Anakin and Ahsoka were there, arguing about something.

"Don't worry. I'll be right there."

"Master Mundi?"

"No!"

"Master Plo?"

"No!"

"…Commander Cody?"

"No!"

"Say no if you'd kiss your master!"

"N—Wait what?"

"Darn it! I almost got you that time!"

Padme interrupted them. "What is going on here?"

"She started it!"

"Yeah, but—"

Master Windu's voice boomed over her commlink.

"THERE SHOULD BE NO BUTTS INVOLVED!"

"Fine…ass-butt." Ahsoka mumbled under her breath. The bald headed freak seemingly teleported out of nowhere. Anakin did not scream like a little girl.

"What did you say Padawan Tano?" She shrunk under his accusing gaze.

"Um, uh…ask what?"

"That's what I thought you said." He turned towards Padme and Anakin. "Hello Senator Amidala." She smiled.

"Hello Master Windu." It was silent for a moment. Anakin frowned.

"What, no greeting for the Chosen One?" Mace glared at him.

"I don't like you." Anakin rolled his eyes.

"Well, I figured that much. I'm not that stupid."

"Good." And then her disappeared again. Ahsoka smiled.

"So, are you sure about that no for Master Windu?" Anakin glared at her. Padme cleared her throat.

"So, what brings you two to the Senate building?"

"A mission. I'm looking for clues and Dooku said I would find the second clue here in the Senate building, even though he could have just told me what the clue was because this building is gigantic."

"Ah, well what kind of clues are you looking for?" Anakin shrugged.

"I'm not really sure. The first clue was that the Sith have been leading the Separatists!"

"What!"

"And our second clue has lead us here. Do you think the Chancellor knows anything?" Padme shook her head.

"He's been very busy as of late. The Separatists are starting to catch up to us. It's almost as if they know all our moves before we even make them. No one knows what to do." Ahsoka tilted her head in confusion.

"So, it's almost as if they've been spying on us…"

Nobody expected a lightsaber to appear out of mid-air and smack Anakin in the shoulder. He yelped and tried to jump away from the source of the pain…and then realized that you can't get away from a quickly developing bruise.

"At least that one wasn't as bad as the one that hit my face." He said through his teeth. Padme was shocked.

"Oh my goodness! Where did that come from!" Anakin waved it off, wincing as pain shot through his shoulder.

"It's okay. It means there's a clue nearby."

"What does that have anything to do with clues?" Anakin sighed.

"Padme, Count Dooku is a kinky bastard." Ahsoka nodded in agreement. Padme scrunched her eyes shut.

"Ugh. Bad mental images!" She opened he eyes again. "So, where's this clue at?" Anakin shrugged, and winced again.

"Maybe it has something to do with what Ahsoka said. If it was something material, the lightsaber would've hit me earlier because we haven't moved from this spot the entire time we've been here." Padme cupped her chin in though. Anakin couldn't help but smile. She looked more angelic than ever with her long chocolate curls cascading over her shoulders. It brought back good memories. Memories of before he met…

"So, that means a Separatist has infiltrated the Senate." Ahsoka nodded and looked at her master, who seemed lost in thought about something…or better yet, someone.

"And if he or she knows our battle plans, they must have connections as well." She nudged Anakin's arm. "Right, Master?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah." He searched his robes for his holorecorder and frowned when he didn't find it. He had dressed in a haste to get away from Rex's Blasters Of Doom and had forgotten it, along with his commlink.

"Ahsoka, can I borrow your commlink?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Where's yours?"

"I forgot it."

"Why?"

"Because my captain was trying to murder me!" She smirked.

"I would want to murder you too if we were caught in the middle of bad sex in a hangar." Padme looked at Anakin.

"You had sex with Rex?"

"NO! Now give me the commlink, Padawan!" Ahsoka handed it to him.

"Geez, no need to get defensive." He glared at her as Obi-Wan's voice came out of the small device. She rolled her eyes. He couldn't deny not having a thing for his master. Everyone had a thing for Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Yes, Ahsoka?"

"It's Anakin." A sigh was heard from the other end of the line.

"Did you lose yours again?"

"No! I know where it is. I just…forgot it."

"Why?" Ahsoka leaned in over the device.

"Because I caught him and Rex in flagrante delicto on the landing platforms." Anakin blushed furiously. Obi-Wan had gone silent.

"We weren't doing anything. Dooku magically stripped us!"

"Anakin, that makes no sense at all…"

"Yeah, I know. Anyways, we need transportation from the Senate. I found another clue…and I don't feel like walking."

"Fine. I'm on my way." Ahsoka didn't miss the way her master's eyes lit up at Obi-Wan's words.

She did miss the person watching them all from the shadows, though…

A/N: Cliff Hanger, hanging from a cliff! And that's why he's called Cliff Hanger! LOL Who used to watch that when they were little? I did! Kudos to those who know where "I'd appreciate your input." is from. It's what I listened to while I typed this up. That and "Mr. Saxobeat". ANYWAYS. There will be action in this next chapter...in more ways than one (insert shifty eyebrows here). I have my excuses for this being late. I had a very important birthday (16th!) and a five day church retreat.

Tell me what the final clue should be! Tell me! I MUST know! Review? Please?

~CCAdventures