Okay, I know.

I. SUCK.

I won't continue to promise sooner updates; there's no point. I do tell you truthfully, however, that I have not-- repeat NOT-- abandoned ANY of my unfinished fics. I'm currently 19, with no license, (sob).

I have just ended my job as a hibachi waitress, as I have enough money-- with the help of parents-- TO RETURN TO JAPAN! Go me! XD

I also am going to start college at a nearby place so I will still be living out of my house, with my nice, lovely, wonderful family... (Yay, more time to try and stop fighting with my mom and brother... and make my CD with my dad... sorry, I'm also working on becoming a Japanese pop/rock singer...) And this means I may have a bit more free time for writing between practice sessions.

Everyone happy? Hope so!

Well, anyway, I leave for Japan on May 11th for 6 weeks-- with my BEST FRIEND, no less! And to revisit my wonderful host family, as well as Tokyo, Kyoto, and various other places... (Also, not that y'all care, but I had and lost my first Japanese boyfriend while I was away from Masa was the first guy I had ever obsessed over, but then he got redistricted and we realized how merely hormonal our relationship was. So, we both decided to remain friends, and that's that. I may get to see him when he goes back to Kobe though...)

I shall be back June 21st. Then-- THEN-- Yes, TTHHEENN-- I go to see HYDE HIMSELF, IN CONCERT IN CALIFORNIA! WAAAAHHOOOOOO! XD XD XD (btw, Hyde is Kei's actor in the movie. Just in case someone hasn't seen it.)

Okay, enough personal author's life rambles.

On with FICTION!

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CHAPTER THREE

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That smell. Dear God, he hated it.

It was that mixed smell of cleaners, plastics, rubber, and bodily fluids that made him want to retch: the same smell as when their mother had died, the same smell as when Yi-Che had been attacked... Hospitals were not Son's favorite place to be. He'd been utterly shocked when a sweat-drenched, gasping Toshi had come banging on their door that evening after dinner, managing to wheeze out: "Sho-- hospital--!"

Son had snagged his coat from the closet and was already on his way out the door with the keys when Yi-Che had stopped him with a gentle tug on his shoulder. He'd looked at her blankly, then she'd gestured toward herself:

I want to come.

He hadn't been sure about it at the time, but he figured it was safer to bring her with him than leave her in the apartment alone.

The nurse at the front desk had granted them visitor's passes, and said to look for Room 317. 312, 314, 315... There. Son was a bit apprehensive, biting his lip nervously: Toshi hadn't said anything about his friend's condition.

God, just please don't let him be mangled, or burned or anything... not while Yi-Che's here.

Taking a deep breath, Son took hold of the doorhandle and pushed down.

The door swung open.

The figure in the bed was covered with white sheets up to his chest, but what could be seen of his skin was frighteningly pale. Sho was unconscious and propped up with pillows, an oxygen mask over his face and an IV drip in his arm. A beeping noise accompanied the sound of the oxygen tank as Sho slumbered, his heart beating sluggishly, without enthusiasm. His eyes seemed sunken with dark half-circles beneath them, and his hair was unruly, loose braids spilling over slumped shoulders. His shorter hair was mussed and fuzzy.

Sho's overall condition was obviously not good, but what was more alarming was the length of bandage wrapped tightly around his wrist.

No... He couldn't have... did he? Son stood staring in disbelief.

The Taiwanese approached the bed slowly, careful of a second figure that lay with his upper half draped over the covers, sitting in a chair beside Sho. The man had his head resting on Sho's knees, so diminuitive and with such a distraught air that he looked like a child in his mother's lap. Son's heart contracted as he saw pink, newly healed skin covering one of the hands on the blanket. A dark sweater, loose black pants and sandy hair confirmed it, and he lay a hand on Kei's shoulder to wake him.

He didn't even glance at the curtains.

"Hmmn..." Kei lifted his head, looking up blearily in Son's direction. His eyes were painfully red-rimmed; he'd obviously been crying. "Son," he croaked.

"I came as soon as I heard. Is he okay?" the Taiwanese asked softly.

Kei brushed at his eyes with his fingers, sitting up a little more. "He's... they don't know," Kei murmured. "He could be in a coma."

Son winced.

A brief silence befell the room.

"...I'm so sorry," Son murmured.

Kei inclined his head, acknowledging the remark, but otherwise remained fixed on Sho, his hand on top of the younger man's. Silence again. Son knew he was going to regret the next question:

"Kei? What happened to him...?"

The smaller man looked at Son with haunted eyes. "I did," he breathed in a tortured whisper. Son stared at him. "I needed blood..." Kei was near tears, swallowing painfully. "He gave it to me." The Taiwanese' eyes widened as he realized what Kei was saying. "I told him, I told him no, that it wasn't safe," he continued, "and he... he took a knife, and..." a sob built in Kei's chest, "...gave me what I needed to heal."

Son watched as the man put his head in his hands. "I tried to tell him, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop once I... He didn't listen; he..." Kei choked on the words.

Son put both hands on Kei's shoulders, trying to be of some comfort. He must feel like he killed him, poor guy...

"Did they say what chance he has for recovery?"

Kei shook his head, eyes squeezed shut. "They don't know how it works. I'm a vampire, and I fed on him. Sho became a victim, and victims aren't supposed to come back. There are repercussions..." The blond man pushed shaking palms into his eyes, hunched over Sho's lap. "God; if he... if he was gone for too long--"

There was a slight shuffle, and Yi-Che peered at him from behind her brother, walking over to him at Sho's bedside. Kei caught one glimpse of her and gasped sharply, staring in horror first at her, then at Son. His gaze turned accusing, breath caught dangerously in his throat.

"You brought her?" he whispered, terrified. "You brought her and didn't tell me?" The scream spiraled up out of control. He shot up jerkily, knocking the chair backward onto the floor in a sudden outburst, staggering away from Son as if he'd just run him through. Kei slammed a bedside table into the whitewashed wall as he fell back and papers spewed everywhere, the legs collapsing with a loud bang.

"Kei--"

"Did you want her to see this? Did you want her to know about me? DAMN you!" Kei hit the wall and slid to the floor, as his energy gone. "Damn you..." Yi-Che was stock still, slightly startled by the abrupt explosion from the smaller man. She watched as Kei brokenly raised both hands to his face, pressing them violently into his eyes as if he never wished to see again.

Son watched helplessly as Kei curled into himself, choking. He hadn't even thought about it when he'd brought her into the room, but now he felt as if he'd just committed a mortal sin. This had hit Kei hard, and it would probably take a while before he felt up to forgiving him.

"Damn you," the smaller man hiccuped softly, hands grasping his sandy-coloured hair. "Why?... Why..." Why can't I just have one person, just one, that can stay with me? That won't have to die, or hate me?

Kei felt a horrendous scream threatening to wrench from deep in his chest, tension shrieking through his body, almost to the breaking point. Be it time, hate, or blood that takes them from me, I'm going to lose everyone-- everyone--

A soft touch, feather-like, on his chest.

Kei gasped gently and opened tear-stained eyes to see Yi-Che's dark, pretty eyes, staring at him not with fear... but pity. She knelt beside him, looking tenderly at him as he stared, hypnotized by her sweetness. The girl waited a mere moment before reaching toward him and pulling herself onto his chest in a warm, secure hug. He jerked as though to pull away, then he felt her smile against his neck.

The vampire was speechless, thoughtless, numb.

Yi-Che knew he was a monster; she had heard him, she had understood him. Yet even now, here she was, lying on top of him in his arms, Son looking at them with only a hint of brotherly concern. Yi-Che mutely hugged him closer, nuzzling his neck with her cheek, trying to tell him without words to stop crying. For a few tense moments Kei held his arms hovering above her steady but fragile body, afraid to touch her...

Then he grasped her to him with a breath that seemed to take in as much of life as she seemed willing to give him.

She doesn't... doesn't hate me, he thought incredulously. I never... ever dreamed... No, I'm still not worth this. I don't deserve her, or this... and she doesn't really know... She hasn't seen what I really am; she'd hate me if she did... but... I just can't say no... Not now.

Son let them have a good few minutes of cuddle-time, prudently turning his attention to Sho as his little sister soothed the distressed man. It was amazing to him how, even without words, she still carried such influential power over her loved ones; her family. Kei was ready to fall asleep like this, until a tiny movement came from the pale hand atop the covers.

"...Mmn...nnh...?"

The vampire looked up from his place on the floor with a snap. Kei nearly fainted from the relief. "Sho...?" he breathed harshly.

He was starting to wake.

Kei stood, barely pausing to remove the girl from his chest and help her up before he was at the bedside. "Sho," he urged, "Sho, wake up. Open your eyes... Sho?"

The handsome face scrunched a little, in pain, confusion or annoyance Kei couldn't tell.

"Go th' hell away," Sho slurred.

At first the vampire winced, thinking Sho was talking to him, and didn't want to see him anymore. Yi-Che put a hand on his back, relaxing him. And then Sho finished:

"...'m tryin'a sleep."

Kei let out a half-sob, half-laugh as Sho draped an arm over his face, as though trying to block out the hospital lights, rolling lazily onto his side and splaying out all over the bed, his legs sticking out from under the covers. The tall Japanese groaned as he realized how tired he was, and just how much effort lifting his arm had been. He nearly slid out of the bed when his own weight pulled him to the edge. Kei leaned forward swiftly and caught him by the arm, anchoring him back onto the mattress.

"Nn-- dammit," he cursed half-heartedly. "'feel bad... sick. Wh' happend?"

"Sho, you... don't remember?"

He moaned again, weakly. "Head hurts. Drank too much." Did he mean Kei, or did he think he had a hangover? Kei would have laughed, had the situation not been so dark. Son actually cracked a smile; Yi-Che looked a bit perplexed.

Abruptly, Sho began shivering. "Sho-- Sho, you okay?" Son ventured, touching his wrist. The tremors increased in intensity over mere seconds, nearing convulsions before dying down, and Kei grasped Sho's hand tightly, trying to calm him down.

"It's alright, Sho, just hang on; tough it out. It'll be over in a second," Kei assured him, eyes shining. His voice trembled, but his eyes were steady.

"N-no," Sho whimpered. "Wan' go home... Stinks 'n here. Wn'a go home."

"Is he alright?" Son demanded, not liking the way the usually cocky bastard was disoriented.

"Cold spells," Kei muttered. "He's feeling the after effects. I don't like leaving him here; there isn't anything else they can do to help if he's stable. I can't be here during the day." The vampire looked up at Son, his eyes holding entreaty. "We have to get him out of here."

Son looked at Sho, shivering in the hospital bed, remembering his mother and Yi-Che when they had stayed in a room similar to this.

"...I'll get the car."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Kei wasn't buckling under Sho's weight, but he was getting off-balance. Son had left after the initial drop-off, but only after Kei had requested it. He'd left feeling guilty, worried, and completely un-reassured. Sho had not looked any kind of good as Kei had half-helped, half-dragged him to the door of their apartment complex.

Kei chucked the keys into a corner and pulled Sho, still wearing his hospital gown, off of his shoulder and onto the black leather couch-bed. He fell limply onto his side on the cushions with a soft moan. He'd never felt this weak before.

"Sho, we're home," Kei offered. "Are... you hungry? Do you need anything?" He clasped his hands behind his back, still shaking. He had no idea what to do for him, or how he would feel, what he should give him. The situation was completely unfamiliar, even though he'd taken care of the younger man since he was a mere child. When Sho had caught a cold, or a fever, or even been shot, he knew how to care for him, but now he was in uncharted territory:

Kei had never left a victim alive before.

Sho seemed to be sleeping now, his breath even, eyes shut. Maybe he should just let him rest? Kei stood, making sure that Sho was really there and really okay, (and really breathing,) then he turned to the kitchen, intending to get some water to calm his nerves.

A small sound behind him made him stop in his tracks.

"...Don' go."

Kei looked behind him to see Sho's cerulean eyes glinting at him from beneath heavy lids. He smiled weakly. "Hey."

The blonde vampire sat at his side in the bend of his waist. "Hey," he attempted a smile, and failed. "Sho..."

Sho chuckled. "Don' look... li' that... Y'look like some'n died." He looked up at his friend with a cheesy smile, thinking he'd laugh. His grin disappeared when he caught sight of a single tear making its way down Kei's smooth cheek. "Kei," he trailed off, watching the drop in its descent with astonishment. Kei didn't cry. Did he?

"I..." Kei's face was expressionless, calm. "I...I almost..." He remembered Sho falling to the floor, blood smearing his arm, his eyes as the light faded away from them, his skin snow white in the darkness... It was too much. At last, the vampire's face crumpled, and he lost it completely. Kei sat on the edge of the bed sobbing into his knees, hands over his head, nearly ripping out his hair.

"Kei-- Oh, Kei, don't--" With a Herculean effort, Sho pulled himself up and tremulously pulled Kei up and into his chest. Kei couldn't bring himself to look at him, keeping his face lowered into Sho's shirt.

"I can't-- I just can't--"

"Kei, 'm still here... I'm not dead, Kei... C'mon, please don' cry like that--" Sho was completely unsettled, seeing the one who had taken care of him from childhood now crying inconsolably in his arms. Sho's heart was ready to break from the look on Kei's face and the heart-wrenching sound of his friend weeping.

"I could've-- I could've killed you," Kei choked. "Oh, God, I could've--"

"Kei, stop!" Sho cried in alarm, even more distressed. "You didn't kill me! I'm right here!" Kei couldn't speak any more, he was crying so hard. Sho held him to his chest and put his head protectively on top of the vampire's. He didn't feel well; the room was starting to spin, but he'd be damned if he let go of Kei now.

"Shh, please Kei, don' cry anymore, " he pleaded softly, near tears himself. "I'm right here... I'm okay, okay?" He felt Kei shake his head vehemently against him, and tightened his grip around him.

"I don't-- I don't want to be alone again," the smaller man gasped. "I don't-- I can't... not again-- I can't... Sho--" The call for him was just so plaintive and miserable that the dam burst, and his hold on him became so strong he practically picked the smaller man up off the couch-bed, crushing Kei against him as he clung to him. Sho felt the tears burn as they fell down his face and into Kei's hair; he couldn't listen to anymore.

"Kei, just-- please, don't talk like that; don't talk like that..." he begged him softly, rocking back and forth as they both wept.

It was almost three a.m. before they were calm enough and worn out enough to sleep, the cushions soaked with both of their tears.

Sho knew they had much to discuss in the morning.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The glow of a lit cigarette was the only light in the car as Son sped away from the complex. The figure inside put his cellphone to his ear, watching as the Taiwanese drove off.

"Yeah, he left 'em here. The kid's leaving. You want me to check 'em?" Silence. "Understood. See you back at the club."

The engine turned on and he drove off, the glare of a street lamp momentarily revealing a large painted dragon on the side of the car.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

NOTE: ATTENTION EVERYONE WHO LOVES JROCK/JPOP:

There was a contest planned for all over the USA called: "Be Your Idol to Meet Your Idol." It involved performing some song of your fave artist for one minute, either singing unacccompanied, dancing, or playing an instrument. If you won, they would fly you to Japan with a chance to meet the person you performed as.

I am a Gackt cosplayer, as you can see if you look for me on cosplay. com. I am also a musician. I SO might have had a chance, but the contest was "CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST."

If you people out there ARE interested, GO EMAIL THE "J-HOUSE ROCK" PEOPLE. WE NEED TO LET THEM KNOW WE ARE INTERESTED.

Thanks!

Em

(P.S. If nothing else they are trying to bring it back POSSIBLY next year. LET THEM KNOW IF YOU WANNA DO IT.)

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